EDITORIAL
is
Cheaters often win;
some even prosper
The numbers are in, and a good portion of University
students are cheaters. If you do cheat, and your con
science allows you a soft pillow at night, you're likely to
get away with it. If you don't cheat, watch your shoulder.
A recent study by Professor Joe Kerkvliot from Oregon
State University has concluded that 42 percent of people
have cheated on at least one college exam. Other studies
more tnan douoifi mat ng
uro if assignments are
thrown into the statistics.
With assignments and tests
combined, Of) percent of
college students have
cheated on an exam or an
assignment.
The odds are in
your favor to
cheat and get
away with it.
Take your average class of. say. 100 students, and
every single one of them, except for 10. are cheaters.
That seems to provide cheaters cheating off cheaters,
which would definitely obscure some test scores.
For those who are cheating, the professors aren't real
ly looking. The majority of the professors that do look
aren’t going to say anything. A Carnegie Foundation
report stated that 60 percent of professors at one uni
versity saw students cheating, yet only 20 percent
reported it. Here at the University, loss than one-half of
one percent of students are actually written up for cheat
ing.
Last year, 44 students from the University took a tor
turous walk to the third floor of Oregon Hall to meet
their doom in the associate dean of students office. There
are some 13,094 undorgraduate students at the Uhiver
sity (taking the smallest statistics available), and slight
ly loss than half of them cheat or have cheated on an
exam; only 44 of them actually suffered any conse
quences.
Certainly socioty looks to cheating as one of the most
disgusting acts of social misconduct, yet a big chunk of
them do it. Sure, the majority of people, if asked frankly
whether they hove cheated, would say absolutely not.
According to the survey, this number is 75 percent.
For the 10 out of 100 students that actually hit the
books and attend lecture, watch those wandering eyes.
Lurking at the desk right next to you or maybe behind
you is the big hunk of society that claims it never cheats,
but actually does. It may be the easy way out. but sadly
enough, it seems to work. Maybe cheaters really do pros
per.
Take your average game of Monopoly, where the
banker always wins. This is not because they are a real
estate genius; they just have their hand closest to the pot.
If you cheat, the odds of getting away with are in your
favor. Being one of the 44 that does get caught and takes
the walk to Oregon Hall would be quite demeaning.
Even though society, on the surface, seems to frown on
it. cheating really doesn’t seem to be worth It. Don't roll
the dice (it's hard to cheat at dice). If you do. the odds
may be in your favor, but the consequences will always
be horrid.
...-L
Oregon Daily
Emerald
The Oregon 0.*r> f meraW is published daily Monday through Today (Xmng the school
year and Tuesday and Thursday during the summer by the Oregon Deity Emerald
Publishing Co . Inc . at the University o! Oregon, t ugene. Oregon
The fmaraW operates independently ot the
the University esth offices at Suae 300 or the
fcrb Memorial Union and is a member ot the Associated Press
The truer aid * private properly The unlanrlui remove t* use ot papers a prosecutable
by law
Editor Jn-Chlet Jaffa Barg
Urging EdHor
Editor tel Editor
Oraphkt Editor
ffidinci EdHor
CeBey Anderson
OevKj Thorn
Jell Peaiey
Jeff Winters
•pom Editor win
Edltomi Editor Jo« P<kh»dl
Photo EdNor Anthony fornoy
Euoptorworiti Editor Katy Soto
Night Editor Davrf Thorn
Assoclata Editors: Scot Clamant. Studont Govornmanl/Actiul'tis. Habocca Morrill.
Community. Hrvars Janssan, TSghar tiXjCMtxxvAdmail#mton
Nows Staff: Oovs Charbonnaau. Reardo Damco. Mag Dadolph. Amy Osvanport. Mai*
folds Martin r,*har. Sarah Mandarson. Anfc HaaMidahl. Edward Klcptansiam. Yin Lang
Laong. Mwrut Maiand. Tntta NoP. Eksabath Raanstjama, Lia Sakwxia. Scott Srmonaon.
Slaphanw S.s*on. Susanna Stoftans. Julie Swanson. Michele Thompson-Aguiar. Kavtn
Tnpp. Amy Van Tuyt. Dorsal Waal
Osnaral Msnsgsr: Judy Rod
Advartlaing Dirac tor Mark WaMsr Production Msnsgsr: Uchele Ross
Advertising: Sutsr Duffs. Nicola Hallmark. Tarasa isabaSa. Jaff Marion. Jeramy Mason.
Mchael kfcSana Van V O’Bryan II, Rachaal Trull. Kalaay Wsfcai. Angw ffrdwn
CtsaaHUd: Backy Msrchant. Mwiapar Vctor Maya. S«m Tra Tack
Distribution: Brandon Andsraon. John Long. Oraham Simpson
Businasa: Kathy Carbons. Supervisor Judy Connoty
Production: Das MoCobb. Production Coontinator Shawns Abals. Grog Oaamond. Tars
Gaullnay. Brad Joss. Janntar Roland. Nall Thangvip. Clayton Vaa
M»—room-—-*4*U1i
BtMlnM* OtllM...M*M1I
.94*4712
f
MR WTTARKXO T#> CCJWT
■u VlL A $5000 flN^, 5^2,-rr
x 0*l€ vvnv4 lp«€H*
OPINION
Newspapers offer bizarre sex
Kk\in Tripp
The news last week was of
the variety that could
bring tears of joy to even
the most seasoned tabloid jour
nalist.
Joey Buttafuooo went on trial
for having sex with Amy Fish
er Michael Jackson apparently
fled the continent over allega
tions he had sex with a 13-year
old boy and/or for getting
hooked on drugs his doctor pre
scribed to him (because he was
stressed out over being accused
of having sex with a 13-year-old
boy), and )ohn Bobbit may nev
er be able to have sex again for
no other reason than because his
wife l-orena is handy with a Gin
su.
Although these sagas are of
the breed that give the National
Enquirer a month’s worth of
cover story ideas, the main
stream press also appeared to
jump on the bizarre sex theme
like a shark to fresh blood.
On Tuesday. Nov. 16 alone,
the New York Times. USA
Today and the Oregonian all
managed to give significant cov
erage to at least one of the afore
mentioned stories (even though
though they did quote Geraldo
Rivera in their Buttafuoco news
story. I'm putting USA Today in
the "mainstream" category...
ba rely).
Still, it was our own Register
Guard that gave me my 35 cents
worth, with all three stories cov
ered within the first three pages
of that same day's edition. Being
blessed with such a find, 1 feel I
should share my good fortune
with you: all the busy, over
worked students who haven't
had the time to keep up with the
nation's latest bizarre sex sto
ries. So if you need an update,
here is how those first three
pages grabbed me:
Page one, or “I'll put five
bucks on Valium"
The top of the front page con
tains a large map of North Amer
ica and a hunch of stuff about
the North American Free Trade
Agreement, a.k.a. NAFTA I saw
Ross Perot and Dick Gephardt
whining about this on CNN, so
I'm supporting it. The two other
top stories are about school
funding and loans and stuff, but
I hate school as it is, so I'm skip
ping those stories as well. It's
not until I reach the bottom of
page one that I get to the meat of
the day's news.
1 ha headline roads: Lawyer
says singer addled by drugs,"
and the article goes on to
explain how Michael Jackson
has fled to an undisclosed loca
tion so “he could enjoy some
privacy as he recuperates from
the addiction to painkillers."
The article also states that "Jack
son’s attorneys insisted that the
entertainer is not fleeing allega
tions that he sexually molested a
13-year-old boy” and that "Jack
son was last seen publicly in
Mexico.”
Jackson, whose attorneys say
"denies the allegations against
him," does not appear to be
helping his use much by fleeing
to Mexico to an undisclosed
location where he hopes to kick
an addiction to an undisclosed
drug. The words "fleeing,"
"Mexico" and “ drugs" do not
leave a good impression when
used in the same sentences.
Page two, or “At least it
wasn't rusty"
For the most part, page two of
the Guard is Tilled with the
weather forecast, but just above
that is its daily "People" sec
tion. Although this space is gen
erally Tilled with tidbits about
celebrities (and. true to form,
there are two paragraphs about
Michelle Pfeiffer and Joni
Mitchell), the bulk of the section
this time contains an update on
the marital difficulties of John
and Lorena Bobbit.
This piece focuses more on
the "people” side of the story, so
it's brief on details. However, 1
did find the opening paragraph
very enlightening, so I'll share
that with you:
"John Hobbit said ho forgives
>1 is wife for cutting off his penis
unci accusing him of sexual
assault and that he still carries
her picture in his wallet."
Although the story does go
into some detail concerning the
Hobbits' ill-fated marriage,
including her charges of abuse
and his counter charges of more
of the same, one crucial ques
tion is never answered. This
angers me not only because I
think 1 heard the answer to this
question in a joke David Letter
man told, but because I know
that 49 percent of the people
who read this article are also
dying to know the answer. That
is, did he get it re-attached? Stay
tuned.
Page three, or “I like writing
‘Buttafuoco'"
This is the story that refuses to
die. Right in the middle of page
three, surrounded by stories
about teen abortions laws, gun
violence in New York City and
earthquake predictions in Cali
fornia. stands joey Buttafuoco,
himself surrounded by a mob of
police, photographers and tele
vision cameramen.
Below that is the headline,
“Judge sentences Joey: 6 months
and $5,000." And below that,
surrounded by the text of the
story, is a picture of the other
main player in the story. Amy
Fisher.
1 wish 1 could do justice to
this one, but three made-for-TV
movies, two books and a slew of
Saturday Night Live skits still
haven't put it to rest, so I don't
think I'll even be able to come
close. Still, the fact that the only
two media organizations cover
ing the story that are mentioned
by name in the article are Come
dy Central and A Current Affair
should hold some relevance to
the reader. Other than that. I can
only give you the words of Amy
Fisher herself: "This man took
me to expensive restaurants and
cheap motels." I think that says
it all. 1 just wish I knew whatev
er happened to that NAFTA
thing.
Kevin Tripp is a columnist for
the Emerald.