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683-1977
•— - Oregon Daily KmCFtild S j) O!
Time for all you jocks to get PC
^.
From the
Sidelines
0*v« Chifborvnciu
f you think, paving 25 tents
(nr a m hedule of i lasses
Asutks. |ust vv.nl until next
year wiii’ii you'll have to pay S2
a gnmi* to watt h Out k football
•uni basketball
.Sound unfair' An? vou steam
ing mat!? Too bad Von re just
not politically correct itnough to
lie given free privileges that go
along with attending a '< ultur
nlly dtverst* university.
1 lie moiii argument the Ini i
dentil. e Committee used
when it decided to cut the nth
let it depart nient's allocation,
thus forcing the alhletii depart
ment to institute the $2 fee, was
iliui many students are paying
for something they never use
There's no question there are
plenty ol people who could i are
less about sports Hut there are
also thousands of students here
who could core less about any of
the student unions that i« i upv
the basement of the EMU. But
did any of them get a cut this
year' No way
You want to know why? Well,
it's because jocks (the people
who an1 the majority of student
spectators at athletic events) ore
the furthest thing from tieing PC
on i am pus.
I'm not trying to make a case
against student unions, or any
group the IKC gives money to.
Wh.it I'm saving is it is popular
to support “culturally diverse '
groups Groups that make the I
of Zero appear to tie a i ollege
that promotes equality
Unfortunately, sports, athletes
and jew ks do not fit under that
heading.
Associate athletic director
Sandy Walton said it best when
she said. “It's very popular to
hash athletics
Ask the PCers on c ampus and
many will tell you gports are for
the feeble-minded, bac kyyfnrd
hatwearing, tohacco-c hewing.
20-lieer-drinking hu ks
Hashing athletic s is, indeed.
the PC thing to do.
So, my plan is that it's time
for |oc ks to become PC. as
defined by everyday observa
tions of the t! of Zero campus
Hold cm to your hats, this could
get ugh
1. Inc ense — Joe ks must make
it a point to burn incense in the
stands at all sporting events
This will prove that we are try -
ing to cover up the smell of ol
our bodies that haven't been
c leansed for three clays.
2. No Showers
3. Protest — Jocks must
protest Yes. we must make
signs, get 100 marimba and c on
go players, and stage a “celebra
tion of sports" rally in the court
yard nt the EMU.
4. No Cheerleaders — Next,
locks must demand the removal
of cheerleaders, because every
body knows c heerleaders in
their skimpy outfits only add to
the tnisogynistic: and chauvinis
tic: thinking of the sex-driven
male ego
Ask the PCers on
campus and many
will tell you sports
are for the feeble
minded, backward
hat-wearing,
tobacco-chewing,
20-beer-drinking
hicks.
5. Vendor* — jocks must
demand gi\ ivendors die right
lo sel ii|> stands outside of
Autzen Stadium and McArthur
Court to sell various beads,
tnpestrvs. cooky hats and joke
books before and during games.
If all of the jocks on tins i am
pus will come together and fol
low mi plan. I argue that come
tail 1994. you will have proven
to the II-'C that you are. indeed, a
politically correct and culturally
diverse group that adds to the
whole of the l Iniversity conimu
nitv Thev w ill have no choice
but to raise the athletic depart
ment's allocation, and we will
no longer have to pay for view
ing games.
keep in mind that turning PC
will be a permanent thing, and
you will have to continue to
demonstrate your cultural diver
sity after the $Z fee has been
abolished.
I have a feeling that after hear
ing that, you may just think two
bucks isn't that bad after all
Dave Charbonneau is
sports editor of the Kmernld
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