rheV^cII Now p*gr 4 The Studrnt Hr»lih Ca<n Ntwilnicr
Learning to trust makes for safer sex
fly Jrn H&yti
Scenario: I vw» women are
lining around dimming m
1 he fine mention* (Hat 'he
and lire tigmficjnr other hid
venial inteftmirvc for the fint
t ime I lie let* »nd hi »rn.*n aik*
if they tiled a condom I he first woman herns anu
bwi and finally admits that we probably should
have, but the topic didn't come up and l didn t
want to make an issue alum* it How many sit
nations ate there where two people engage in see
ual activity, knowing neat to nothing about the
other person's history »n relation to sex and drug
use? A lot more than any of us care to admit.
Communication is hard Posters and slogans
sav just say no and tell him to go get a con
dom." but it simplv isn't that easy I he preven
tion message we should l>e trying to get across is a
lot more com pie* wr should sjscnd sever aJ months
« rooks and Baur in Human Sexuality suggest
at least six) gelling to know prospective sexual part
nets before engaging in high risk sexual behavion.
I )nc way to bring up the subject is to talk to
your partner or the person yen* ate dating about
your concerns, not only concerns about HIV and
AIDS. Ihii also sexually transmitted diseases
You may l»e surprised; our society places such
an emphasis on sex that people feel as though they
arc expected to engage in sexual activities, when
in reality, many people are not ready to do so
When you start sharing your feelings and aspec ts
of your sexual history, encourage your partner to
do the same.
I rust is a big factor If you're taking the time
to get to know a person, you always have time to
back away. And if your gut instinct is telling you
"NO, listen to it
I*sen if the (verson does have a sexual history
that worries you. tests for most sexually trans
mitted diseases show up quickly However, the tot
for the antibodies that indicate HIV infection will
usually show tcsults hetween three and six months.
Hm means that if either one of you has engaged
in any high risk activities, getting the test right
away won't solve the problem In-cause it will be
too wN>n to tell I he test i* laifIv quick and nm
pic there is pie- and post testing with an HIV
counselor, and a small amount of blood is token
by the lab to be tested I his test is available at
the Student Health ( cruet for a small fee if you
are a student, or also at some area health depart
ments such as NX httebird < lime (free) ansi lane
( mints Health fsnuil frri
If partners get tested after the three to »u
months, and they both test negative, tho are going
to feel a lot better about sexual relations and the
relationship as a whole.
A test for rhe HIV' antilsodies d<*rs not test for
other sexually transmitted diseases If there is any
douht in either partners mind about other pos
sihlc S IDs, get rested
Some tips about talking about safer set from
Huntjrt No udhty iru Jude
I Start by discussing a safer subfcsr. for esam
pic, why it u hard for people to talk about w* and
11IV'. etc As you cJiHim experience* tHat affected
you in dealing with cental iwnn. it may make you
both more comfortable going further in depth on
thoce mptc * and othet. m«»rc pcrvonal topw v
2 Have a booklet <u pamphlet aUnit vour con*
ccrn (HIV, condom*, etc J that you can avk vour
partner to read and then diveuve with you. You can
i also pul it aorocwticrc that
you arc *urc vour (urtner
will tee it ion their pillow
in the refrigerator, upcii
to a minor).
3 Aik for a favor Peo
ple 41c sometime! more
willing to discus* 4 topic il
H it phrased at a request, such as. "(.otild you do
something for me* I’d really like 10 talk about chit
vkith you bcx.aus.e 1m concerned and it’s impor
tant to me
I -nt. hut m»i least, if ytni do do. »dc to have vex
without talking about sexual histories and risks,
use a latex condom and if possible, a spermicide
with nonoxynol-9, which helps disable HIV A
condom and nonoxvmd-9 together arc more effo
rive than a condom alone.
lie assertive- Sometimes you don’t ask. you tell.
"For sour vafetv and mine, we need to use a con
dom Remember, thiacouki be your life you tie
trusting tlm person with. If you got in a car with
someone whose driving habits and risks you didn't
know, woukl you wear a seatbelt...or maybe nor
even get in the car at all5 I rust your instincts.
If you would like more information about
places in town to get tested, please call the Health
Fdocation ofTicc in the Student Health ('enter
at >46 -1456, or just drop by. We’re next to the
pharmacy.
Taking precautions necessary to avoid AIDS
By MtehrUt h*mcrttbi
Kipem from the («
let for Pimmk: Control
pmlkn that AIDS will lie
■ hr number one killer on
college campuvcs jami
the Untied State*. 11m
mnni 'hr U of O u not rsdudrd Itom these
Ullillia, and we, at students. mint «*kr (hr
responsibility for learning about thu disease to
prevent the rampant spreading of AIDS.
Hunk about how many ttudenti are there
on thn campus who not only come from Ore
gon but alto from California. Washington,
Idaho, the bast (.loan. Japan. China. Norway.
(.Germany and all over the globe.
Studying isn’t the only pastime students
practice. Srsual activity is very common
among many college students regardless of
where they are from, and unprotected sea is the
way the HIV virut spreads
If you're srsiuily active with someone
while you'te at the U of O, and you don't use
anything to protect yourself, you are at risk of
infection. Think about how many people you
know who may be ictually active with some
one here at the U of O.
When vacation comet, thote tame people
go back to their hometowns and may engage in
unprotected tea with a pan partner of even
with a new pinner
After vacation these tame people come back
to school and continue the relationship again
with their partners at the U of O. If during any
of thetr tnual contacts hack home, one of thetr
partners had the HIV virus, these people have
now brought this virut hack with them.
Consequently, they run the risk of infecting
many mote people at the U of O if they engage
in unprotected tea.
I’rcscntly there it no cure for AIDS, and
there is no vaccine to protect you red f form the
HIV virus. The safest protection against the
virus is to abstain from sea and refuse to share
needles if you do drugs.
If you do have sex. make sure neither you
nor your partner arc infected with the virus.
Use a latex condom and spermicide and don't
be afraid to talk to your partner about using
protection.
If yout partner doesn't bdieve in using con
doms. then ask yourself whether you really
want to be with someone who places such a
k>w value on life.
To learn more about the disease call the
toll free NATIONAL AIDS HOTLINE I
800-342-AIDS. Your identity remains anony
mous. and the person will answer any
questions you ask and will give you current
information about the virus.
Conflict management skills create
new possibilities for confrontations
By Andrnt Idylar
Are your
tooinnuirs nuk
mj; youi life J liv
ing hell? Do you
have problems
ihu listing things
*uh your pan*
ncf ? If you arc having difficulty with
these thing*, von arc not alone, (.on
ferent perceptions each perton holdt
At many people know. perception a not
reality.
The main reason lot the Mail ami
escalation of conflicts it ilac very pet
ception of conflict. " Hut perception at
conflict can lie cithri an accurate or
inaccurate perception." fillrv raplaint
Ihc problem it that the perception
it utually wronj; More than likely, one
■ Illis ami mnfronta
lions can be proh
lenutts. and i'lien dil
ficuli lo discern for
young adults
Ajan l ilies', in his
book Intcrptnonal
Conflict Keiohiiion
says, "Conflict is a
process which is net
ihri good not bad Inn
which ha» element* and outcome*
which may Ik nidged favorably, or unla
vorabtv by tl*«*c participating in im eval
uating it.*
Conflict* may ime for many *pe
cific reasons, which item bom the dif
[K-ivin nuy
he unsure
where the
other per
son stands
or it may
he unclear
to him/her
what the
other per
son's point
in. Sometimes, however, the point may
be all too cleat. Often in out lives we
come into different types of con
Itonutions.
Hiere air three distinct types of con
Irontattom: win win, win lose and lose
low IV wm-wm situation is an agree
ment on territory or idea* which are
neutral, such as de-siding what lime to
meet Win lose confrontations are
characterized by one person winning
and the other losing without there being
any misidle ground, i.c , a rase between
two people 1 osc loac battles are con
frontations in which neither side can
fully win
The challenging part of a conflict is
to state the purpose of the discussion in
a clear and concise manner which u not
offensive to the other party When there
is a breakdown! in communication and
unwillingness between the parties to
resolve these differences, mediation may
become a viable alternative.
ITiere ate places here on the Uni
versity of Oregon campus which spe
cialize mlielping to resolve conflicts lot
students Among these are ASUO medi
al ion. Student t egal Services. Uoun
wlmg at the Student I lealth i dime. and
die Housing l Vpartment for those who
live in the Residence Halls and in f am
ily Housing
Information and resources for well-being
( ....tli. i k. ...Ini
University Counseling Center
13th Street at Agate 346-3227
UO Crisis Center hotline
346-4488 24 hiuns a day
Sesual Assault Support Servis.es
484
U of O Mediation Program
I- MU Hoorn 318
346 4240
OfFise of Stuslent Advocacy
KMU318 346-3722
Women's Rcwsune
and Referral ( enter
Suite 3 f MU 346 3327
OflRcc of Academic Advicing
and Student Service*
164 Oregon Hall 346-3211
Career Planning and Placement
244 Hendricks Hall 346-3235
Center for
Academic learning Services
6# PLC 346 3226
I I .if juim lit .iih! I >«m i iuiiM.il mu
( onicriiN
Office of Affirmative Action
4""4 Oregon Hall 346-3123
Office of Public Safety
Straub Hall 346-5444
Student Conduct Coordinator
364 t)regon Iiall 346-INI
(oordinator Gay. I^tbiui.
Bitcaual CjXKtrai '46 1142
lesbian Gay Bisexual Alliance
346- 3360
ijin i.»l < oiu i min
Office of Student financial Aid
260 Oregon Hall 346-3221
Student fanployment Office
12 Hendricks Hall 346-3214
I'hkAUji \ilincnis
Student Health ('enter
13th Street at Aeatc '46-4441
Health fducation Program
346-4436
ABSTINENCE
uniary or an involuntary decision.
1 hough to Hunt people an is a muH
in relationships and routine, an evi
dent part of everyday life, it n not for
all people.
lack of opportunity for inter
courie, period* of ferolity awareness,
scaual dysfunction, aging, illness or
injury can all force abstinence upon
people because there arc no alterna
tives, or because those alternatives
are distasteful. Many healthy human
CiUiHmtdfr»m p*gr 3
nets in a venial relationship cannot
consistently be engaging in sex. If
nothing more than physical activi
ty holds the relationship together, it
is bound to be doomed. d
Choosing to refrain from sexual
intercourse can bring renewed self
esteem. time for yourself, carefree
pleasure and a loving state of exis
tence. Having NO sex can provide
opportunity to discover new aspects
about yourself. C hooting abstinence
hemp arc truly rcxu
ally free and adore
abstinence. It's a
lifestyle that Danny
Wiest say*, "works
for roe."
Abstinence
involves making a
conscious decision
NOT to engage in
sexual intercourse.
For some people this
win cnaoic rou to
tidy life up to that
you can do the
thingt you really
want to do and
pour your whole
energy into them.
Unfortunately,
abatinence can po»
tibly bring loneli
neu or a feeling of
being an outrider.
Counseling services
may include to without inwcounc.
mutual masturbation and oral tea.
Abstinence features balancing your
cultural, personal and moral values
and often demands mud) dedication
and will power.
To maintain a healthy relation
ship. abstinence must be practiced
from time to time by everyone Pan
arc available at the University t Stu
dent Health Center, the Counseling
Center and other local counseling
office*.
Even though it is not the easiest
choice to make, choosing abstinence
is the most responsible decision you II
ever make.
The Well Now Staff
1 Hrevu* o( I Icakii hJutaiion
joaruir I rank
Pm I inliii AiKtunj; ( ooriimatur
Anrur l XxhiuhJ
tdmx* ofWdl Now Suun McAfcm
Sainprram \npr \X indhrim
Production Ingrid 'X'huc
Snond 1 erm Pm HcJth Athriork
Jenndirr Bovd. Mkhrtir I ramrkhi.
l)amrilr (K>>fpev>fi. Mithclc Hanley.
I aduiu kniantmiki, Ntwi Niiuk Wah
Nap**. Oawrictlc Scalf. Amitr* Tjyiuf.
loan IThhth
I trv I rrm Pert I iraith Vhuon
Iracy Anuthon. Kuixn IWv Katun
l l>aru! wtng, l iiku (*oegr. kmu
Haht. Mnfganr McCarthy. (»radv iVOm
fKi I >4n Ponet. kaiicr Sandrll. Rrnre
vhmxh. K«di Vtcmath
I hr VPeti N«.m o 4 lK■*^ictt^T ifKtmurcd
by the Student Health ( erect and pmthx.nl
bv the Health I dixatmn vtaH wuh the 4*ut
taixc of the (hrgm /W> l mnuiti
All attxiei arc wttf ten hv uudrno hx
the Health I Jut at kw Program