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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (May 5, 1992)
reiTi What if II 1 was the student body president >ind had omnipotent povs ers. i won Id • Time travel b.i< k to and make Argentinean immigration laws mori’ restrii live toward former high-ranking officials of the Third Ketch While I was there. I would also change the name ol the l: S Department of War ti Zippy s Public Rela tions Servil e for Sub I asi 1st Right U mg Military Du tutors • travel bai k to pre ( oil) nial days and change the. name of the M a y I li. w e r to ' Das boat • Rearrange vs hairy or lnstorn.il i irt iimstances gave birth to the wholesomely aiiih: I ions ASl () presidential candidates so that those people would be-ipm.tr writers of roniani e In turn I hen 1 won 111 arrest tin m charge them with ( rimes Against Humanity have them tried ill a W orld lamrt !"d sen tehee them to working grave y aid janitorial shills m triple X movie theaters • M a k. i-.'.gs ' i c: ; ■ pie _ . • (hi mg. the- i nglish -ip' !;:: g ol women" to nice ones'" • After decid You ha< k into the AS! 'O. aji point a i onimissi. n to look into whether it would fie better to II a V e the \ S S ’ ( ) h e t h e ASvouO or tin ASOyou." • I - I i ! ■ ■ . ■ 1 I ’ ■ I ■: ' ' ■ CU' I I 1 I P :. ■ .luring Parent's U eek I would also campaign to make higher education more accessible, complain atio.it stu dent apathy disi ass reforming the budgeting process and move the ASl'O offices into a van that would perpetually drive around campus blaring the message, lAervone s opin ion really matters. trom a loudspeaker attached to Its hood Jason Keuter Audio-visual operator, IMC Indecent I am concerned by your ir purling tn lIn- 1*1)1 u !■ licit)l (()L)l.\ April J 11 Sun o « hen is she began m reaming ami the sus pot l grabbed her loll breast and srjuee/ed il hard ,i 'public in d o r o n i. v 7 U b o n .i m a n "lungod at and grabbed' .i TUESDAY s p A G H E T T I All YOU CAN EAT EVERY TUES! includes Gark Bread 11 30 am 10pm PiZZfl ITALIAN KITCHEN 2673 Willamett# 4844996 woman, hr has assaulted ht'r, and you should name (I as such Furthermore. I would Itk<■ to snow win this nows wasn't printed until ms days alter the event is it that your stall dors not have mi css to this in forma lion, or is an attacker on this campus less newsworthy than the i (her issues you have been i o\ ering lately ’ We will never he sale as long as we are ignorant, and I think that you. our mam sourt e of i ampus tieyy s have the respon sihililv to keep us informed In tile future'. ph ase don't handi i ap us by publishing attacks against women in tine print m arly a yyei k .liter they haye in i urreii Am! another pimiter out the euphemisms Caitlltn Twain ASUO events coordinator Nirvana Whrn ih<' . niv i;\ < vit iMi k 'hr Si Inn )l rl 1 .dm atlnil I ini year my hilurr u is put on ii: ih M \ i,!«■ K t!i>• in m i sudden) \ ti;ni mu inc.in-, ti. mm .-mi suin' thru. I have born soarr h mg lor .1 didn't' I i ,tn pursue w hilt- I ri'iiiiiin here lust wlii'U ! thought all hope was lust, inv good friend Simp \ tier came to rut- and said, (Treat news' You may now rarn all .|i ademtt certificate III W I 111 I' I:' S Studios 1 was s.ivod' Hallelujah! I now have complete ialth In this university s der isions win re to iillot ale its funds and its attention Now . a i erldu ate ai W .mien's Studies ; s a-.j ration, my hopeful nirvana I tan just dismiss that silly no hull ot I'dui at ion. tear long and the betterment ot youth and in spiration ol maturity Alas, tin portal ol endless i arret oppor tunities have been opened by this new certificate Thank you Jerod Huma Ex-education major Johnny Cat in (hr artic If iihuu! the dam e department bet ommg part id tin- Si.hooi ut Musk (O/J/t. April J t). I was extensively quoted as an authority on this union I'hts i nines as quite .1 surprise in me Perhaps the roporter should have quoted more of our Infor null ( hilt. espei I.illv tile section where I stilted th.it I did not snow mvthin^ .ilmut the .went •ind th.it other people, such .is the head ol the department should he apprn.u bed I assumod that w hat w e spoke about would not be in the article, and although I gave her permission to take notes, I did not agree to he quoted So much lor trust II tills is an .ivcr ige . sample ol the b'mera/i/ s souri e muteri a I. the best use ol mi dallv copy would be to line nu cat's litter pan Elizabeth W.irtlult Dance Obnoxious Slund.i-y;'n I mrr ',! I Yprii Ic.ilurrii i front page photo ut .1 soileriilader 1 ,111 hmg some 1.: in ii : it' ! .'0, i 1 -1 .1 year i was harassed by another jolli-rhl.iiiiT whom ! n> ! it l tl I fig ! iT j 1 I ■ I i tin v I mg OPS. I was mint un i! iti.tl : 1 j 1 i rrti;41! i ng in-. to .. . 1: .ill.I skatelx 1.1 tit mg. Tot legal ■ 1 .no;>us pi 1I1 .triilli Hulk H .1 V S tli-m e my surprise ,0 umr photo tli.it glorifies .1 montahty i:.. 1 r <• mi it.it>h- to .1 SI. ui: it .11; 1 Dow u.l til.111 .1 college 1 umpus The rollerbliider in question is not w f.iring pr.pi; >! t tv fijn 1 pninitt <iml is [lulling 1 stunt tii.it will eventually result 111 ills < r,!. king ills i i 11 If 1 eg. II ..Ii thf I .M l *. 11 p '■ in. i tiiing .1 lawsuit 1«m au-.e tin - I ; 11 \■ 1 .: . is tiullt with .in unreasonably is.ini Viirlftv of mm rete I wim I go ton ;■ ; . i ’ n.. thforv (one tuning . ■ - r.i .u use cuff adolescent m.ill's who liffd to 1 .ill .i!!iiilii>:i to thf hi selves iiy str.ipping on three incti hfigh: ptosth' .-fs. forming pm ks, iind i tioosmg densely popul.itfii mm.lions ol campus to display thfir .iplltudr lor in.iking 11 cop It* scurry out of thfir way. but I think you get thf picture Surely you < .in find something heller tor the front page Stove Close English escent Days Are coming! I MVIRSinr May 6,H & 7th ARTISTS AIWQRK1 J2Ji ijwxj (' rfiacsn* Popen A Bcjuras • Illustration • Multi Medta • Architectural Model Making • Cartooning Painting I 3th A Kincaid 346 4331 M Sat 30% | OFF ! AJ C »*r ' Ariu r. V#u«lrjy Half Sub • FREE DELIVERY ' SUBSHOP' 1225 ALDER 345-2434 8MM800 £ 8MV1U0N ORIENTAL BUFFET K\ervda> low prices M Ih 10:.MV-7 • hi 10:.VO-6 Sal II : MV 4 .MV 1275 Alder 683-8886 ONE CONCEPT TON$ of GOOD REA$ON$ > »-.lh lulls' l >v» l 1 ; •? i»» : ■ ill!'-' t. *! ,|!ul rv» % V 11‘i! rV('l\ V e.tl ,t{ the I I « ) S I I r: !. ,11. I h . ! : V. ft!. • v\. "it1 • I» ‘ • 4 > ear I'-, • • f‘ ' • $ It a t.il; r *\ ill • t s i• Y • . 1 -i . I!\ 1 n *s;J ! »• .»!■,,• I.. .. tr |,-n tU:-< -that \ ".I,itr • hi *».»’*! |h ,thie ti1 IV « ' < ■! 11 \ tuiu '-th.il \ vvh.»U- iiuinir\ .h.mhl .invw.iv l.» ugh all the vs a v to the hank RECYCLING 1 b ■ if** 1 . t ( ) Slu • i« iinr I THE FAR SIDE By GARY l ARSON So please welcome our keynote speaker. Professor Melvin Fenwick — the man who, back in 1952, first coined the now common phrase Fools! I ll destroy them all! "
