Televised golf is for the birdies
FROM THE
SIDELINES
BY JAKE BERG
Sometimes television and
sports mix like water umi
oil It doesn't work
When one thinks of sporting
events on television, the Super
Howl comes to mind Networks
t barge hundreds of thousands
of dollars just lor 1(1 sis ond ad
vertisements during the NR. s
big game
The NBA playoffs have a
lion's share of time on both ta
file television anti the regular
stations for nearly two months
before the postseason is over
And the NCAA men's basket
ball tournament provides its
television ' viewers w ith an ex
c iting tit team loslival referred
to as simply Man h Madness'
w ith good reason
Bui golf?
Sunday signaled the end to
the professional golfers' pride
and joy the Masters tourna
merit, four days of golf, no
more and no less In think that
there were actually people sit
ting at home. Inends toasting
beers at the local bars, or shop
pers stopping in department
store elec tronic sec lions watt h
ing this event on television
My dad used to he one oi
these folk, armed with ins re
mote control and two Ieet
propped up on the footrest ol
ins easy chair U <• c cm Id he
watching an exciting and tight
\i 1. game Sunday alternoon on
NB< . hut when the c ommer
c mis came in iimd did w ould
turn to CHS to catch the latest
golf tournament
Wow E.X I It mg l .id I Cee
dad . w h\ don't w e w ah h this
more often " I d think w itb im
tongue in c heek
If my sarcastic whim
S went
unansix rii-ii ; lountl something
rise So ijii lh.lt had i: t!i.:;So
• So wish got! 11 ki1 sin
wood or painting tie- garage
I>on't get me w rung, >•<>.? is t
tine sport So pi.i\ Kr\ phrase
in pi.iv t lolling ,i group o!
good friends together anil going
So vour lot .1! . nurse on tin* iiis
(mini .lav Is .1 ( (n ip was So
Inisi- ,i good lime
()n one of ms is i if si da V s
gulfing, 1 lost more than 40
halls in Sin- !;i i -■ and water Ini/
.mis on min* holes alone I tu hi
.ills h,ni .i great lime ami is ill
llinrl lnrgi‘1 11 i u s!.' . i, in I Ii'l 1
llilli t ll.lt ill!' Il.lt is . USl'll .111(1
Ills! WIT'' til'll! In*. set of
( lulls
It SI ,IS Ills tries ISIUtl. loo. S. I 1
usually had to watch wli.it lie
vs inl' .i lu is .in h ii'' .iliv.ivs
had tin- remote .ms ss is
I just didn't get .inti still
don't vvh.il 1 ' nihl lx• so cm it
mg about liter.ills pl.inlmg
\ ourself m Iron! ol a television
set for .m entire afternoon (yes.
golf tournaments last a long
lime) jus! to see ui eniressei!
yuppies with guts run around
with melal sin ks in lln-ir hands
on well kept jiiei es ol lawn
II f really wanted to knoss
what happened in tin- lourna
ruont 1 (ould t ike live or 10
minutes out ol m\ das the next
morning to read alxuit it in the
newspaper And 1 uxuails did
I he newspaper could tell me
who won. how much lie won
who he heal, how many times
lie's won tins seat and what
major tourney is next on the
circuit All is learned during
the .insiimpt nift of "lie how !
Wile.(ties before g-iltig to ( he.-.
I he ness sp.iper e. :ns ei:v
St.iviie the 11: .st .IOI-...V mg <hi:
about goll on teles ision is not
boss dry the whole thing is hut
how dehydrated tie c otnmen
lars is With the m svsp.iper 1
don't hase to listen to overpaid
‘Wow. Exciting.
Golf. Gee dad, why
don’t we watch
this more often?’
I’d think with my
tongue in cheek.
sports * o.mmen!ator.s- amiIv/e
every 111lit- tiling ili.nit every
little putt to get every little
stroke
t ie i.oimt-.f nt.it us exciting
ati.ilvms ranks !Item rlght up
then- with fishing programs
They is a I i t. i k t tie- w hi >!.- .tnag
it IW as ....It rim ' I: a. t I S It V h\
Ilf > , g It : vs ill! I eta!
ft! ana Is srsith.it . >; ks may the
whole motive of having fun
The purpose I set behind
tishiin; is to go on! ! 1 a MV et
with friends and■ relay iwealhi-r
perinitt i ng) It is Mot about
vs iliiaiij; tlie s tr.issietl men tlti
the a. t iv itv h if v on ■ >M teles i
sinn on risers von mas neser
SIS'
(It is the same was Only
tlie players are a little ditlerenl
NdmlltedU though. I am i
person wilt) has skipped the
.Super Howl in Sears past Hi la
vnr of ss t irk mg
And last it' o s ou svouldn I
base juuntl me m front < ■! a n !
evision set watching the Duke
s s St: log in N( A A men s has
kethall championship game t
w IS at my Ha i I rO■ im Dan
class, learning steps to the
waltz amI (os Irtit
Suiutay afternoon ! :. hat 1
me seated in Iroilt of a t ompll
ter m ailtof i! .! a: work
in front til a teles ision, svatch
mg the Master■
/.ike Urn; i' s/torfs ritilor I
thr i'.merait 1
Oregon athletes selected
for Pac-10 academic teams
Oregon senior wrestler
Dan Vidlak .itui Dm k men's
basketball guard Jon Mill h
ell were mimed to the tirst
team All I’.n ifii 10 Confer
eni e .ii ademic learns
Vidlak. a Iwn limii All
Ameru an at 1 I H pm.mis.
((implied a IDS td’A .is a
sciem ii major
Mlt( hell. a sophomore
vs a I k on from Eugene's
(Ihurt fiill High Si bool, post
ed a I tiH ci'A as an unde
(dared major
K. e 1 I v H 1 a i r
a
guard/forwurd for the (Ire
gOI! \N Omen's b<l S ktill)it 11
team ami wrestlers I)«twn
tlustafsnrv and Wood Norvull
pH ked up second-loam hon
ors tor the 1 lucks
Basketball players leshii
Smith. Miss\ Stowell, Sara
Wilson ami IVggv Swadt nor
earned honorable mentions,
representing the largest
number of honorees from
any one m hool
Wrestler I’at Hirai also
earned an honorable men
lion
FREE COPIES
of your
TAX FORMS
APRIL 15th
Noon to Midnight
i:; es to des-gnared set* serve machines for copying of
:.y 3 " :cat hs w it oe -pen until midnight t;
.! ■ • y with y v ast m.r.ute copying needs
kinko's
the copy center
Downtown
1P65 * i '»”v
344-3555
Campus
860 E
344-7894
ACADEMIC LEARNING SERVICES
SPRING TERM 1992 SCHEDULE
IT’S! PREPARATION WORKSHOPS
(( puy^
y^TlUSIoR^ /
iMtllU
(.Kr. Preparation: V»0
rucvl.iy-i A rtuuvl.iys
=- M.i> s st.iv ;s
1 lo pm s no pm
•pi.ivlKC f x,t!:. M.iv .'
1 UJ pm ’ (10 pm
l.SAT Preparation: $95
May 1-1 20 2! 26, 2’ 2.K
1 10 pm VOO pin
•pracUxV mum, June
1 10 pm 7 00 pm
(.MAT Preparation: $75
Saturdays
May 9. 16. 30
U V) ain - 12 00 pin
’practice exam May 26
3:30 pin 7:00 pin
To register contact A.L.S. at 346-3226
Avoid long lines at the post office • ^... ^
sl*
Buy stamps at the
UO Bookstore.
Weasel’s World
Kraig Norris
r sin * t : s-:;
A { • *•
v x.rr'*-. i
•« s*a/ v ; • :; a
V A. ’1 . *E '"Si S .
*• ..: .
I W*jT v ’
V Mj'«
POOF!
I TH.*.* I'M •, >,V- X
f t Ail. . i.v !.
r
v ’
4
:
C i r d f
Oscar the Freshman
Neal Skorpen
* l ’ t*
pew*. ' f
/ h,
( : v, ro&'.n 1
V „•
T Of .'
— T
i
I
V
A ■
. ' : ’ • ( . 1
A ' t . Wo ,
it V* A<> A*, rt
' *. A * • * '* l
T Mfr r V > <,
I p f • V *,-;>7
y 1 T ft yiM >3
noPf y