Televised golf is for the birdies FROM THE SIDELINES BY JAKE BERG Sometimes television and sports mix like water umi oil It doesn't work When one thinks of sporting events on television, the Super Howl comes to mind Networks t barge hundreds of thousands of dollars just lor 1(1 sis ond ad vertisements during the NR. s big game The NBA playoffs have a lion's share of time on both ta file television anti the regular stations for nearly two months before the postseason is over And the NCAA men's basket ball tournament provides its television ' viewers w ith an ex c iting tit team loslival referred to as simply Man h Madness' w ith good reason Bui golf? Sunday signaled the end to the professional golfers' pride and joy the Masters tourna merit, four days of golf, no more and no less In think that there were actually people sit ting at home. Inends toasting beers at the local bars, or shop pers stopping in department store elec tronic sec lions watt h ing this event on television My dad used to he one oi these folk, armed with ins re mote control and two Ieet propped up on the footrest ol ins easy chair U <• c cm Id he watching an exciting and tight \i 1. game Sunday alternoon on NB< . hut when the c ommer c mis came in iimd did w ould turn to CHS to catch the latest golf tournament Wow E.X I It mg l .id I Cee dad . w h\ don't w e w ah h this more often " I d think w itb im tongue in c heek If my sarcastic whim S went unansix rii-ii ; lountl something rise So ijii lh.lt had i: t!i.:;So • So wish got! 11 ki1 sin wood or painting tie- garage I>on't get me w rung, >•<>.? is t tine sport So pi.i\ Kr\ phrase in pi.iv t lolling ,i group o! good friends together anil going So vour lot .1! . nurse on tin* iiis (mini .lav Is .1 ( (n ip was So Inisi- ,i good lime ()n one of ms is i if si da V s gulfing, 1 lost more than 40 halls in Sin- !;i i -■ and water Ini/ .mis on min* holes alone I tu hi .ills h,ni .i great lime ami is ill llinrl lnrgi‘1 11 i u s!.' . i, in I Ii'l 1 llilli t ll.lt ill!' Il.lt is . USl'll .111(1 Ills! WIT'' til'll! In*. set of ( lulls It SI ,IS Ills tries ISIUtl. loo. S. I 1 usually had to watch wli.it lie vs inl' .i lu is .in h ii'' .iliv.ivs had tin- remote .ms ss is I just didn't get .inti still don't vvh.il 1 ' nihl lx• so cm it mg about liter.ills pl.inlmg \ ourself m Iron! ol a television set for .m entire afternoon (yes. golf tournaments last a long lime) jus! to see ui eniressei! yuppies with guts run around with melal sin ks in lln-ir hands on well kept jiiei es ol lawn II f really wanted to knoss what happened in tin- lourna ruont 1 (ould t ike live or 10 minutes out ol m\ das the next morning to read alxuit it in the newspaper And 1 uxuails did I he newspaper could tell me who won. how much lie won who he heal, how many times lie's won tins seat and what major tourney is next on the circuit All is learned during the .insiimpt nift of "lie how ! Wile.(ties before g-iltig to ( he.-. I he ness sp.iper e. :ns ei:v St.iviie the 11: .st .IOI-...V mg !.- .tnag it IW as ....It rim ' I: a. t I S It V h\ Ilf > , g It : vs ill! I eta! ft! ana Is srsith.it . >; ks may the whole motive of having fun The purpose I set behind tishiin; is to go on! ! 1 a MV et with friends and■ relay iwealhi-r perinitt i ng) It is Mot about vs iliiaiij; tlie s tr.issietl men tlti the a. t iv itv h if v on ■ >M teles i sinn on risers von mas neser SIS' (It is the same was Only tlie players are a little ditlerenl NdmlltedU though. I am i person wilt) has skipped the .Super Howl in Sears past Hi la vnr of ss t irk mg And last it' o s ou svouldn I base juuntl me m front < ■! a n ! evision set watching the Duke s s St: log in N( A A men s has kethall championship game t w IS at my Ha i I rO■ im Dan class, learning steps to the waltz amI (os Irtit Suiutay afternoon ! :. hat 1 me seated in Iroilt of a t ompll ter m ailtof i! .! a: work in front til a teles ision, svatch mg the Master■ /.ike Urn; i' s/torfs ritilor I thr i'.merait 1 Oregon athletes selected for Pac-10 academic teams Oregon senior wrestler Dan Vidlak .itui Dm k men's basketball guard Jon Mill h ell were mimed to the tirst team All I’.n ifii 10 Confer eni e .ii ademic learns Vidlak. a Iwn limii All Ameru an at 1 I H pm.mis. ((implied a IDS td’A .is a sciem ii major Mlt( hell. a sophomore vs a I k on from Eugene's (Ihurt fiill High Si bool, post ed a I tiH ci'A as an unde (dared major K. e 1 I v H 1 a i r a guard/forwurd for the (Ire gOI! \N Omen's b s st.iv ;s 1 lo pm s no pm •pi.ivlKC f x,t!:. M.iv .' 1 UJ pm ’ (10 pm l.SAT Preparation: $95 May 1-1 20 2! 26, 2’ 2.K 1 10 pm VOO pin •pracUxV mum, June 1 10 pm 7 00 pm (.MAT Preparation: $75 Saturdays May 9. 16. 30 U V) ain - 12 00 pin ’practice exam May 26 3:30 pin 7:00 pin To register contact A.L.S. at 346-3226 Avoid long lines at the post office • ^... ^ sl* Buy stamps at the UO Bookstore. Weasel’s World Kraig Norris r sin * t : s-:; A { • *• v x.rr'*-. i •« s*a/ v ; • :; a V A. ’1 . *E '"Si S . *• ..: . I W*jT v ’ V Mj'« POOF! I TH.*.* I'M •, >,V- X f t Ail. . i.v !. r v ’ 4 : C i r d f Oscar the Freshman Neal Skorpen * l ’ t* pew*. ' f / h, ( : v, ro&'.n 1 V „• T Of .' — T i I V A ■ . ' : ’ • ( . 1 A ' t . Wo , it V* A<> A*, rt ' *. 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