EDITORIAL
Marcos presidency
absolute mockery
)ust when you think the world > annul get any more
foolish, something conies along to sink politics to an
all-new moronic level.
Itnehia Marcos, the woman who single-handedly
kept shoe manufacturers in the black foe years, an
nount.ed Monday she wants to run for president of the
Philippines.
You gotta be kidding.
The word uudat ity comes to mind So does idiocy
A Marcos candidacy is a perverse example-of. Andress
Jackson's "anybody c an la* president’ ideal.
Since- she and her husband Ferdinand were ousted
from posver in HiBfi Man.os ha-- dyed in exile She re
turned to the- Philippines to fac e c harges that she*
helped inlk the country for billions'
I'he 21 year Marcos legacy bankr jpted the country
In her speech, Marcos said she was running because
Corazon Aquinos an
ministration had ig
nored lilt* suffering of
thr i ourtry's clowntrod
den. What she convr
nientlv ignored is that
her husband's regime
i fritted the suffering ol
the pour
And unlreiievabh.
ns );as suppoi! III
fir! homeland Nohodv
is dei luring her a tin K
fur the president \ nr
even tile front-runner.
Simply put, if
Marcos wins, the
United Nations
should erect a
naval blockade
around the islands
until the country
comes to its
collective senses.
but m the sordid world or I ilipino j»o1111f:s. when* vot
mg blocks an* bough! and sold as on a stock market,
am thing ( an happen.
.SimpU put. it Marios wins the I anted Nations
should erect a naval blockade around the islands until
the country comes to its collective senses I'erdtnand
and Imelda were eerily similar to Louis XI\ and Marie
Antoinette Revolution felled both regimes in part
caused b\ Imelda's and Marie's 'let them eat ( ake ' at
titudes
Just like l.mosiana shunned {eventually) David
Duke, the Philippines needs to send Imelda and her
1.Atro pairs of shoes packing, again
(Jri'xtHi I >,lil\
Emerald
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Mb V\?
Mb 4143
r
NOT
RUNNINGS.
WHY NOT$\..
rramr
m
Li-kJ
Mario and Godot: kissin’ cousins
[THE FINE
PRINT
Fat i' it ! i) 1 h s H>* ain't
Mimin' Nn i t hi-n Nut
rum Probably not ever
Mario (aiouio till fivt’ year
(h.dot of till' 1 )i'iti. m rat k party,
imi t going to show up for t!n>
'll* rat run' He wouldn't join
tla rrowd in 1UHM Don't look
for him m l'fiti
But no maltiT liovs many
turn's Mario suvs no, proplu
lion ! in'Iii'Vr him
I'm not running Mario
says
Yrah. sun- bahi what' vi-t,'
ays lonstitui'iit wi .iruu; ( no
iti. iiit 'i.1 '«• i atii{ia.gn liuttiin
Nn rrally, Mario .ays
W i- In' I ii'Vf you. < i iistthl
' :it .i'aiii rs .si hr tort: tun
iiirig oil to a Draft < iioinu tally
ii.iwiil on! ,,o.t Wok. bait
!«• i111w Democrats still won't
Irayr llitii alone C uiinu) had to
tjuash a favoriii siin movement
Mt 1■. : : mnilyt.ihi'his
t! N• w '> i i s ■ primary
ballot
I.Hough alrraiiy Forget i!
lb s history
S.: ■ r.. : iin | sjn"- ti thr
Driinn ratic national convun
Sion, Cuomo has fiiH’n thr par
ty's hrir apparrnt His personal
charm, politically txirrei 1 sik ial
ii a s i .. * s j aak i tip ab. 1 it y had
party regulars frothing at the
mouth and rival prrsidrntial
hopefuls si lift'd as hull
\ mody an h- P V t " i
debate (nnvention.il thinking
hiid Cuomo entering the ruce
HH , a w hatevr!) .Hl(i I!)
!i:■ i• tir^f 11■ iov i•»< <1 debate, m.ik
■ ' 'in- Six ihvaris look like
(■re pubescent moron* with
xjieei h impediments
111 i t it was. .liter .ill, just one
speci h I i IX i he< kerell J il >I it l( ill
i ..trix-r has been largely Ignored,
' Ii tie sax lie llki gh >w (if
his magnetron
Ihe infatuation with ( uoitio
is not without historical prei e
.lent In iten, Willum lean:tigs
Nobody can beat
Mario in a debate.
Conventional
thinking had
Cuomo entering
the race (’88 or *92
— whateverf and in
the first televised
debate, making the
Six Dwarfs look
like pre-pubescent
morons with
speech
impediments.
Bryan titillated tie i.rmwl with
his "irnss .1 gold sje el h The
Dnnoc rat*, hist in the euphoria
of the moment. proceeded to
nominate him for president
three . ait el the next lour t ier -
turns
Ih bombed every tune, tall
.: . b not,il.ii W .idams as
V k ::lex twee and '1 alt a
losing streak since m.ili died
,»nIv In the Denver Broncos
Bryan's only other historical
contribution is getting clubbed
bv Clarence Darrow in (in
Si i >pes NB ill ki■ \ i r..11
Mario know s Ins history ()nc
speech hoes not a career make
i a entuuli v. tiie politic a 1 sut
i ess of the candidate enters the
!ra\ \mi there. Mario falls
short
Tti i' ecnnom v or !r»i k
thereof, is going to tie the major
issue of the '<ja presidential
i ampaign Ttiere the other can
liidati". are laps ahead of Mario
ftoh Kerry is a senator, 1‘aul
I songas and jerry Brown have
been out ol politics for years
Douglas Wilder s state is doing
t)k and Tom Markin and Bill
( lintun come from stales (Iowa
and Arkansas, respectively)
which don't really have econo
lines
I nioftumiioly tor the Dr-mo
soils New York lit-•% have an
is i.many and a had one at
that rill state is mired in debt
anil :usl had Us bond rating
i. iW i n I ! ,1 leys i whs h Would
> ' lull It. i key
! u sigh it strikes ,is a lull,
tut ul arrogance tiorn Irom irise
■ . 's Bssh i ampaign w. u k.-rs
SS saliv sorry In sen Ma
rio go (leorge s economic
prioress is sure to be thrown in
lus face and (ammo is the only
candidate whose fiscal impair
merit is even worse than
Bushs
Si, end the Mario Watch
(ammo am t cornin' Demo
. nits, sui k it up and nominate
somebody yvtio really wants tfie
jot)