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ADAM WILSON. Aii ' i'l NNs■. VANIAS • • • V.
Being PC is tougher than it looks
!l\ I 1NDA no\S
I ht (M i.Ju>trui l huh 1 oi < )kl.ih« mu
I .un suite img ln»m triinin.il weiidnrvs tins
morning
l( til stalled l.ts! \m t k 1 was • m the* phone
vMth iu\ hesi huii Maigaiet doing mv
hovii ic »iti s dishe s lie u | u.ts Ntnu k )>\ die
poll in .il iin oim inc sn id in\ situation I
immcdialels tontrssed fm tiansgicssion to
M.u g.uc i i ih.it hr mg die it cling tti.it I was
plasmg light into the I lands ol this panic ulai
man s male supmnatA in allowing him to tish
while stiuuliaurouslv grumg ins dishesdone
l>» m\ JM isoii.ll delight Margate! pointed
out that I would Ik doing thr ex.tt I saint filing
it I vsrir a Irsinan and mv gitliiiend was fin
"in who did all do i talking instead o| mv
Uni trend
\N hew I thought 1 hal was a i lost
one "( ongtatulanng mvsell on mv nrwlv
tlistovt led abihts to at hirvr rtjuanimitv in a
|>t isonal irlaftonsili|> I looked down into die
dishwashei anti lo mv iioitoi. tiistoveietl
anofiiri big tune tiansgiession in die aira oi
Jiolifh al i oi i e i lilt ss \| 1 of (host mitre < ups
I ti he t n washing we ic made in loit ign
toimiiies N e s. liiat “l lit s a In it h then vou
tile" I UJ) was made in Japan " l he i ai Side '
• il tooli t up was made in I aiwan 1 lie- R \ R
R«*oting( ompanv tupwasinade in i nglantl
In ms da/e ii astonishment, I emptied the
Iasi of that ( olomlnan milrr out oi the Iasi oi
fin Japanese t oiler t ups and made tot the
I t llltiix d into liit diivei s side oi Renaldo s
!oieign spoils t ai shoved llappv Mondavs
i el am t Is new Bl itish lot k group I into tile
la|H drt k and slammed on tile gas
1 i e tli/ed that tin molt pohlit alls torirt t
dung to tit) a! fills poult ssoulti Base been to
i.ui**ol aiountl until I had ms thoughts molt
fogt thei "i perhaps esrn walk aiouud toi
awiule huf tome on let s Ik- leasouahle
|ust whi n I had begun In arirpl ms
hctet nw xualits I was iuuhimil d wiili di<‘ tole
dial I was plasmg in dir i riMliun nl ilii- maxsise
Im rign I rail r dcfii n hi n I In- gas pedal
Ik in .till IIIV 11 mil Ssas all.n Ill'll In .1 ft M eigll i .11
I In whole issue nl |>nlnn .il i min im-ss has
Ini n making tin | ml lilt i mi lake Ini instant e
ms i liilclii :i Ms 1111Idii n ait Mucin an1 Hell
dial is in sa\ that mu i \nu gel past dii1 Irish
and hem h blood, dies ic pu lls Mnciuari (II
i "insi- 11 might U- mm i- |x >h(i< .ills collet I In
U" imi and adopt some un \nu in all i hildicn
11 mu I Ini d Um Id i minii u s. Inn if | i rails
wanted anndn i lai i aioiind dir bouse. I'd |iisi
,;i l nd nl this kirni li II 1)
()l i tntisr dial Inmgs us to anolbei |mini.
w hi i h is t ha I I would sun- Is disregard all
Intel);il Hade di lii Us in use Kl ISO, the
In lull a l)oi I in n pill, ll llu \iiuiuai!
gosrt time ill \s Ini h oppi esses mi* would jusl
OK it.
\ll nl dus la Ik is i rails uniiri rssars, ai I lulls,
t nnsidt [ mg that Reiialdo oni r pm i li.isrd
ind still nssmi a i^inid old-fashioned
Unciii an s.im-1 omis hul oh well
Sn aiiswas | ssas timing aiound i onfused.
i < i hi' in lie i Mill a while, I (naliiialls) got
huugrs
fnsl I iniisuleied slopping loi a piy/a and a
< nke lwh.il i mild lie more \uu in an-). Inn
llu n I u inemheied that ( nke sweetens
apartheid so there went that idea I hen I
figured 11 mild slop al Mi Donald s t no Italian
Inml then , tight-), hul I rcmrmbctcd dir rain
lorests and wi ll, sou know. (I would like In
add un idenlalls, that pi/va is leads pu tts
\niri u an d sou i onsidei dial the Su ihans
dido I hast- tomatoes until dir Hnush shipped
sninr osn hum dll' Nrw Will Id ( >t miusc,
1 l'»J isn't reads the sear dial Wncriu was
dis,nsrred hul. hes, il we re gonna gel mm
i mu . img Insiois. we ll In- here all das i
reliiger. 11,ere in die lier/er was a inn
< >1 vein* m
Now. (his is politic alb inii'iin l in >t "ii lv
be< .iiisr rating im .il im am eating animals
ic\( use me, air those Iratlin tennis sines
\"ii r r vumi ini’■) hui also hri aiisr this
particular animal had U rn alive «ml then
the w<xkI.s until Rrualdot ame along
1 Ills knowledge t ausrd me I" i «*!!<** I nil I he
frowns I would get il |M-o|)l< knos that I haw
im sen own hunting Incuse in im death*
wallet, hut I don’t feel so guilts. knowing > I
do that liuiltris lontnbulr $ ^ imlh"ii a dav
tlu* pieservation ol wildlife So thru
\hout this time. ni\ lawvri tailed N«>w
there’s sonietliing to Ik- proud of. tight 1 hast
toniiai ted the scivkesol an \ineiu an law\c t
< )| i ourse. this is prettv t omtiion lx * aim
|K*r( enl ol the woi Id's lavsset s are \ tiler >' ,n
Inter estingh enough, 70 jh*ii rnt of the woild s
garbage als< > is genet ated h\ \met n ans
\hoiit this time. I am coining to gnp* Kl!'1
the t.u t that I am suffering from a hem '<
disease o| the si ml
Something has to Ik- done
M\ lift* must (lunge It’s beginning to let »
little It m » halka < s<|iie
1 turned on the (Sons) television, uniting
thousands of \ merit an-matle loiniinn 1 •1 •s
into mv field ol vision I was lighting up 1,1
\ merit an i igajette when I irah/ed that Philip
Morris put huge bucks into |esse Helms
|>o< kel last veal. I vs as ahout to pull a Sv h 1
I’lath vs hen I teah/ed that all the knives m tl (
house weir < K*rman-made
I knew theie was on In out* thing 11 ould d«1 •'
this point and strode over t«» the Inpi"1
tabinet I line, between the Kierub t:
(iemian wines was all the bard stufl
I couldn't dec ide In-tween tlit Russian '• M^-:
and the Kntish gin so I just poured a little
both into a big stvroloam t up, added a huh
( anada Dn (,mgei \le and proceeded t" 1
on an old tashioned Airier it an drunk
Praise the laird and pass the ammuiiitmu