EDITORIAL
Fair play in Wichita?
Break out the clubs
Anti-abortion protests in Wichita. Kan. have settled
down a bit after Federal Judge Patrick Kelly ordered
federal marshalls onto the scene.
The anti-abortion folks are saying the judge has
overstepped his bounds. The judge has said he is doing
his job by trying to maintain order in the town.
In an interest
ing turn of events.
Terry Randall, the
founder of Opera
tion Rescue, the
group organizing
the protest, told
ABC News (hat
the anti
Until God gets a seat on
the Supreme Court, the
anti-abortionites are
going to have to stop
their illegal activities.
aoonionuos simpiy warn me rigm 10 conuuci civu uts
obedience! protests like those of the civil rights and
anti war varieties of '60s.
That is a fascinating comparison. When Terry says
the right-wing anti-abortion zealots want the same
rights as protesters of the ’(ills, does he really mean it:'
If so. the OS. can base the National Guard show up
and shoot four or five of them That would certainly be
in line with treatment the left-wing protesters of the
60s got And of course, the polii e would have a field
dav macing, tear gassing and billy clubbing the protest
ers as they sing their hymns.
Terry ought to be more ( .ireful about whut he asks
tor Ile just might get it.
Also, the folks of Operation Rescue should realize
that their little gatherings go further than simple civil
disobedience protests. By blocking access to the abor
tion clinics they are deriving women their guaranteed
right to legally terminate a pregnancy They artr break
mg the law and should be dealt with accordingly
Other Operation Rescuers told ABC News that the
anti abortion folks are ignoring the U.S. lavs in favor of
"God's law." But until Cod gets a seat on the Supreme
Court, the anti abortionites are going to have to stop
their illegal activities or face the consequeiu.es.
T
w ith
THE WHITE MOLl.EE
flNP THE SUPREME COURT
/p THE GRIP OF THE FAR
FUG Hi; IT'3 UP TO US
|M CONGRESS to PEG'ENQ
THE PIGHTS OF THE
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LETTERS
Strike a nerve?
I‘,it Maliich, I bulinvc sour
suggestion lo tell complainants
ul frisbee golfer gull not to be
anal retentive" and "finding u
frishm' graze sour ear" are not
that lar from luring related
(DPI. Aug t> ) You see, sou
have got sour head so far up
vour a - you can't see a frisbee.
nor create svhet Freud might
have considered ii lavalorv
masterpiece
Since I destroyed the anterior
cruciate ligament m my right
knee I have taken up frisbee
golf and whiffle ball and I feel
so cool playing- People gawk at
mu while golfing as it I pulled
off a lBO-degree oil it: to rail
slide down u fifteen-slop hand
rail
It is public attention that has
maintained m\ self-esteem and
kept me from deep depression
in clearly the most boring and
inactive summer of my life.
Why don't you confront people
while playing instead of calling
upon the ignorant masses who
love the whip on their bat k or .1
imitation messiah on a cross
(whichever vou supply) by
blowing your horn on an ill-fat
ed bund wagon7
Settle, Put
You have created a contro
versy where them is none Tol
erance .m<i compassion will get
will you from Agate to Alder
But, henceforth, let it lie known
that I am the ringleader of the
legion of frisbee golfers, and
you might end up with a little
more impact than 175 grams to
your head it's a tough target
il you complain in person.
Look for me, I'm the "cool
dude” looking for attention
among the long hairs and
hellyachers with shaved heads
who offers you his last beer
Peace and humpUm-ss lor
ever
Chris Welch
Kugene
Stormin’ Norman rates top doa in intelliqence poll
THE FINE
PRINT
BY PAT MALACH
It's In. It's In, it's finally here
At long hist, tilt) Aug -I issue ol /V
r.nli’ magazine has published the results
ol it it informal poll taken to determine
the smartest person in America And
who else hut (len H. Norman Schwarz
kopf was i hosen hy Americans .is the
winner
To tell you the truth. Norm isn't the
first person to come to my mind when I
ponder the question ol measurable bril
liance I thought first of Supreme Court
justices or even NASA scientists
Hut apparently, the minds of those
folks tio not compare to that of Norm,
the mastermind of ever-so-suct essful
Operation Desert Storm, who has cap
t urrd tlic hearts ami minds of Ameri
carts who see turn as the owner of the
idea! intellect
Personally. I have a hard time buying
a war strategist as the best mind ill the
land besides the fact that the product of
Schwarzkopf s intelligence is a reign of
destruction and death we can all he
prouti of, the U S defeat of Iraq could
.a t urately he paralleled to, say, the New
York (minis beating South Lugone High
School in a football game how mut h
difference does the coach really make7
Stormin' Norman gloatingly belittled
Hussein after the battle by saying he
wasn't much of a strategist or general
Hut would the results of the war have
been different if Hussein’s and Si hwarz
kopf's roles were switched? Would the
tons of U.S. smart bombs dropped on
the Iraqis been a little less smart if Hus
sein was giving the orders? Would
Stormin' Norman have been able to find
a w.i\ lo supply his troops at the front
therefore keeping their morale and
fighting spirit high in the far t- of the
enemy's total air superiority?
Such hypothetical questions rarely
have definite answers But in the inter
esl of the science of pop culture, we can
come close to one by looking back to the
(dents'South lingerie comparison
Let's try some scenarios
il the (dents were coached by (drl
Scout Troop 101 and South lingerie was
coached by former greats Bill Purcells
end Bill Welsh and the ghost of Vince
Lombardi, I'd still be lartting on the (b
ants
Ok. how about Mother Theresa and
(ddget for the (bunts end Chuck Knox,
Cerry Clunville and Art Shell for South
Eugene Ncqie, my money would still be
on the (bants
Thor« is only one couching combine
lion i cun think oi that might lead to a
South Eugene victory over the (hunts
Let Attila the Hun couch South Eugene
and arm them with the latest in au
tomata weapons, and put the pacifist
Mahatma Ghandi at the helm of the Gi
ants 1'hat might possibly make a diller
ence. but the game would still lie pretty
damn close
Norm might he one sharp later head,
hut my vote for smart guv goes to
George Bush So fur. Bush has side
stepped being connected to Iran/Contra.
Manuel Noriega, and the October Sur
prise. and he orchestrated one ol the
best timed wars in history, pulling his
sagging ratings from the dumper to orbit
in a matter of months II Reagan was the
teflon president, Bush is the sieve presi
dent.
I’al Malach is managing editor for the
Emerald.
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