UNIVERSITY
Book of Love may not have happy ending
Communication
forms foundation
for understanding
By Tammy Batey
fnicraifl Reportet
I,() VI' III.ikes till' world Sin
round, or so tin1 saving goes
I’erhaps it would In' more .11
i urate lo say 1 li.it lori> or ro
mam.i' makes your.own world
•.I> 1 ti .it .1 giddier par e
Hut while .1 rclationshi|) mil
I .1 use your heart to pound
your knees to gross weak and
your head to spin, it is seldom
.1 port'll pleasant rxperienr e
Dr \ a 111 s Koliln ns a 11
tensed psvi hologist frerpieiitK
1 mi use Is people on relationship
Issues
In 1 ounselmg sessions. Rob
Inns treats the lelationship it
sell rathel than either of the
part nets as the vii t i in
She said she often works
with people who are upset be
i ause their partners don I live
up to then expel t.itl( 1IIS
I vel voile I nines into tela
I ion slops with eertain f ixed
ideas about how supportive
how 1 hallenging. how smart
how valuable the other person
should he and what psyi holog
II a I needs the ot her person
should fulfill. Robbins said
( ini' person projei Is om s tin
1 onsi ions expei tat ions on the
otliei person and those expei
I at ions do not always mail h re
alltv
t’s\i linings student Ryan Ste
plions who is involved in a re
lalionslnp w itli anothet male
student said lie has dealt ssitli
unmet e x pel tat lolls
A piolili-m is wanting the
relationship to be perlei I when
it isn't a perlei t w01 III and sou
1 an t have a perlei t relation
ship Stephens said I ni al
ssass bugging him to talk about
his feelings I ssant him to sas
I lose sou when he says Arm
should knoss that
\nothei issue that people
deal with ss hen tiles form rela
tmnships is whether tiles rail
retain their autonomy l an
people ail independently ot
eai h other ‘ Robbins asked
I’re jou r na 11 sin st u de n t
Auess.i Wallen said that people
often don’t realize boss depen
dent they are on then boyfriend
or girlfriend until the relation
/
U,,\inn oxrnomr .ill thr harrirrs to .1 /).»/>/»» rvUtmnship ot Irast momrnt.irilx
.mil \nrw.i \\.irrvnrnfox a milkshakr and rat h nthrr s < o trip a 11 v
Photo l>* Imi l * an*
I nni r.iti sluilrnls < hrn l oomis
ship dissolves
I went out with someone lor
lnut vears W.irri'n s.iul 'l on
stall !u sis vnillsell Iht iimiliv:
more like them .imi unit
wlioli' world revolves .iroinul
them When thev’re gone von
h.ive nothing
I )l SteV e S< hw elt/er .1 ll
tensed psychologist, said r> 11
pert ent of the t hetlls he sees
h.ive t ont.erns .thonl then inti
unite rehiiitmships
\inong the issues th.it spaik
anger and confusion in rtda
tionships are sex tnunev and
trust lie said
Ml prohlems ullimalelv have
to i|.. with column nu at ion
St hueit/ei said, and he tries 111
therapv to rebuild the fouiida
I ions ol t omuniuii at um
1 tear h them to t omnium
I ate how thev re feeling t learlv
ami the sense that thev re he mg
understood hv the othei he
said
I’sycholngy student Wvxon
Smith said people have to real
i/e that then partners are not
inmdreaders
' Thev re not alvvavs going to
know what voii ie thinking
Smith saiil
Minost even Student inter
V lew ed ti U tills ai til le said the
lirsl month ol a relationship is
the period during which part
ncrs slop believing in I In* ro
ill.min idi'.ii thill uni' will |usl
know hovs thr i it tin Inis .uni
sl.irt establishing solid i nmniii
mi .itKin
Unit' this piTiml has passi*d.
t nmmunii iilion though still
,i potential prohltTii hoi nines
.1 in.i|oi attribute ot a mniiogam
oils relationship Stephens
said
I here are i ert.lin tilings you
share with your partner that
you don't share vs ith yoiil
11lends lie said
ship is having someone Id talk
Id. sharing tin* problems. shar
mg tlii* |d\ s sharing lime luge
(her hi* said
Annthei i harai li-rislii ot a re
lationship is a si*nsi* dI s<*i uri
Is s\ iiii h Id a i rrtam extent is
hi'.dllis Stephens said
Hul tin* most imporlanl gaugi*
ol a satisfying relationship is
what Stephens called being
liapps . separate while togetli
ei ' In other words, a person in
a good relationship should be
able to retain their personal
77m? best part of a relationship is 'having
someone to talk to, sharing the problems,
sharing the joys, sharing time together.'
-Sam Yu
S.im Yu a pit' business ml
ministration student, said In
believes varying pun options
alxiut uh.it s really happening
is sometimes .1 problem he
tween him .mil his girlfriend
She'll think she knows it
.ill .inti I'm pis! tr\ mg to tell
her uh.it re,ilk goes on \ u
said However i ommuiin ation
< .ill also be the i luel benefit ol
a relationship, he said
I lie best part ot a relation
happiness whih* t>«*iUK part ol
the i (tuple, he said
Drawing on lessons learned
from previous relationships i an
he helpful for a person in
solved in a new relationship
Smith said
( )ne thing you learn is that
"the people YOU (hose to he
is 1th were not the right lines, '
she said "You learn what
worked You learn what not to
do "
Chronic fatigue
support group
meets today
Student parents meeting
In organize a student-parent
assiK i.itinii will meet from
2 HI to 4 |i in m the I'Atr
U.limit Room ( all :MI> 2,I2(>
tor details
Et als
Martin Davies a visiting
si ientist from I lie linguistic s
and philosophy department
at Mi l will speak on "I ai
ing l'p to I Inn.mativisin'' at
•} p in m Room -/111 Cdlhert
Hal! The event is sponsored
liv the Philosophv ( Inh
The chronic fatigue svr
drcime support group meets
Sunclav at I p in in the Ian
era Id People's Utility Dis
trie t building. ,Lt7 t.i Seavey
Loop Road ( all ti8t> () 1 It)
lor more information
The film 1 /fee a c/e ot De
struction w hich doc unients
tile struggles ol rubber tree
tappers m Brazil's rain for
est will be shown by the
l.at in A meric a n Support
t ommittee at 1.! it) p m in
the I Alt' Hen 1 .inder Room
The Muslim Student Asso
c iation Islamic Soc ietv ot
North Americ a. the organi
/ation alt11 iated with the
ASl () w ill bold a session
on rai ism in South Atm a
Israel and the United States
at 1 1 1(1 a m in the I MU
(1 nutwood Room
Muslim led u re a n d
prayer also being spoil
sored by the MSA ISN'A
w ill be at 1 p m 111 the
komonia ( enter, 1-11-4 Kin
i .nd St
I he \e w man ( enter
Dial) Kmerald St is holding
Masses Saturday at "> p ill
and Sunda\ at 'I and 1 1 a m
and at 7: ill p ill
Deadline for submitting I t
a/s tn tin■ Kmerald hunt
desk, EMU Suite inn is
noon thi' day hetore puhlii a
lion I t a/s run the c/.n oi
tho even/ unless the event
takes pi,ii e hflorv noon
Vetoes of events with a
donation or admission
i /large it ill not he ac i eptec/
t
ALL WAYS
TRAVEL
AH1I M K\ K t A(iI >1 >
J
FARE WAR!
Take advantage of our low air fares today.
l ast Coast
I os Angeles
$358.00
$2 38.00
Midwest
San Frant isco
$5 I 8.00
$2 58.00
Travel must br completed by SrpIcmlH*! n) I 99 1
Ticket* must br purchased before luur 1 . 1991.
Seven <lav willvam e pure have required.
Conveniently located inside the EMU
‘'all ways travel
346-1491
Student Summer
Storage Special
See
A AW*
Sl#^
1062 Hwy 99 North
(next to Gilbert center)
10 min. from campus