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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (May 6, 1987)
Voices in Action provides support for incest victims By Alicia Gano Of Ihf Emerald Incest is more than intimacy between a father and a daughter, a brother and a sister, family members that cannot legally marry. Incest is "a betrayal of trust involving overt or covert sexual actions between a child and a trusted adult and/or authority figure," according to Voices in Action of Eugene. Inc., a counseling and support organization for survivors of incest. Incest perpetrators may in clude adult neighbors, aunts, uncles or friends of the family who engage in sexual activity with a child, said Marie Leonard, director of the Eugene non-profit organization. According to l.eonard, incest or sexual molestation of a child can be anything from sexually implicit or degrading looks to inappropriate physical touching to sexual penetration. It may come in the form of lov ing attention or actual violence. Women are the primary vic tims, with one of every three women having suffered some molestation as a child, lotonurd said. Hut men am victims us well, with one in six men molested as children, she stud. Female victims are molested 95 percent of the time by men. 5 percent by women, but male victims are molested W) percent of the time by men and 40 per cent by women, according to Leonard. Victims often feel guilty about lieing sexually molested us children and blame themselves for it, l^onard said, The result, she said, is a hesitancy to seek help. One of the primary word cues Leonard looks for when she first interviews a client is the use of the word "just.” "It was just the man next door. It was just my uncle. He just..." The result of this self-blame or denial for women can be a blocking of their sexuality. I-eonard said. In other words, they went molested because of their womanhood, and that was bad. so their womanhood must be bad. which has to do with their sexuality, so turn it off. she said. Women also may react to the molestation by becoming pro miscuous, she added Both mule and female victims experience a lack of self-esteem and trust from the poworlessness they felt as VOICES Photo by M«rU < urvdtlt* Marie Leonard is director of Voices in Action, a t'uftene ttrvup that provides counsel and support for incest victims. molested children, which transfers to future relationships and parenting, Leonard said. One common result of this sense of powerlessness is a com pulsive desire to control the en vironment. she said. Victims may become obsessed with cleaning house or controlling children or just feeling respon sible for everything that hap pens around them. Leonard said. In addition, she said sexual relations between husband and wife can be strained as a woman consciously or unconsciously tries to gain control of her life and her sexuality. A victim of incest herself. laMinard sail! she used to feel like it was her responsibility if she came home and found the dog had messed on the floor. She was in charge of making everyone happy and controlling all possible eventualities — she carried the welfare of the whole world on her shoulders, she said. This exaggerated sense of responsibility comes from children feeling the need to keep the sexual abuse they suf fer a secret, Leonard said. They feel that if they don't keep the secret, the family may fall apart. z o Q. D O O z o Q. D o o z o Q. 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Men. if molested by their mothers, often feel they are the Our Choice would like to thank the following businesses and/or in dividuals for their sup port. Their contributions helped to make our fun draising effort a great success. (udv Baldwin Berg's Ski Shop Body Impressions fhe C reative hi Halley's Comet Oregon West fitness Pape' Bros. In< fhe lerrai e ( ate I he Valley River Inn and the University ot Oregon Bookstore victims of so inet h i n g unbelievable and weird, that no one will believe a mother would do such a thing, she said Men also worry that people will think they're gay becauae they were molested, lawmard said, so they hide it But inside, men often irrationally worry that they should la- gay because of the molestation, she said. These fears keep men from being open about having been molested and result in skewed statistics. Leonard said. She believes more than one in six men have been molested, but the figures just may not show it accurately. Leonard believes, however, that figures on female incest victims are accurate Self-destructive behavior among women who were incest victims is common, latonard said. Suicidal tendencies, eating disorders and a com pulsive need to control their en vironment can all be results of their childhood experience, she said Rosemarie, a University stu dent and mother, was abused as a child and said she felt suicidal must of her life. With the help of Voices in Action she is now happier and able to maintain long-term relationships with men. she said. "I thought the only way to survive was to become a man." Rosemarie said. Thinking men were rational creatures who didn't feel and were in control all the time. Rosemarie sought to regain power in her life by denying her female sexuality, shir said. 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