WWWAWWWwOwsftftMffi?
Starting May 12
cookies and croissants
by the half-dozen
Chocolate chip cookies
$2.25
Croissants
$3.50 881 E. 13th
8-6 Monday - Friday on campus
9 - 5 Saturday 484-1662
Disco
Happy Hour prices
for the ladies, all day.
Sunday: beginning at 8 PM
Happy Hour: 4-7 PM Mon.-Fri.
Well Drinks: $1.00
Free Hor d' oeuvres
Only at the Holiday Inn Holidome
Rd. 342-5181
McKay’s Open Pantry Delicatessen
A
FEATURING
Broasted Chicken - by the bucket or the piece • Party trays made to order • Fresh
home-made pizza • Fresh bagels and pocket bread • San Francisco style sour dough
bread • 31 varieties Imported and Domestic cheese • 35 varieties lunch meat and
sausages • Full line salad bar • Hot food to go • Fresh sandwiches made daily
Hot or cold. Imported or Domestic foods with old-fashioned service — S fr H Green
Stamps. Too!
1960 Franklin Bivd.
Eugene
343-6418
Open 8 am to 8 pm daily
655 W. Centennial Blvd.
Springfield
747-3004
The worst movie
(so far) this year
“Conan the Barbarian”
Arnold Schwarzenegger
CinemaWorld
Rated R
"Conan the Barbarian" is a
shining tribute to Murphy’s taw
Everything that could possibly
go wrong, does
First, there's the plot
Schwarzenegger is Conan, a
hulking gladiator-turned-ad
venturer bent on revenge after
snake-worshipper Thulsa Doom
(James Earl Jones) slaughters
his parents He meets up with
shapely thief Valeria (Sandahl
Bergman) and sly sidekick
CASH
For Textbooks
Mon -Fri,
Smith Family
Bookstore
768 E 13th
1 Bl From Campus
Pb 34^1651
Subotai (Gerry Lopez) and sets
oft on a number of harrowing
adventures The Big Quest, of
course, is to set good King Os
ric's (Max Von Sydow) daughter
free from the evil clutches of
Thulsa Doom, who wants her for
his own nefarious purposes
Although it would seem pretty
difficult to go wrong with such a
familiar, basic plot, writers John
Milius and Oliver Stone do They
leave rather large gaps in the
story, like why Conan, the most
famous gladiator in the land, is
suddenly released scot-free by
his master Or why Conan can
reach the castle of Thulsa Doom
a week before his friends do,
despite the fact that they leave
at the same time
If these story jumps are dif
ficult to swallow, try stomaching
the dialogue Most of it is beau
tifully crafted verse, like "Get
them! ’, "Kill them!" and "After
them!" The rest is deep, mean
ingful expressions of emotion,
mostly groans, grunts and
death-screams.
The writers do aim for
something greater, but fail mis
erably. The film opens with a
line from Nietzsche: "That
which doesn’t kill us makes us
stronger " The writers show us
that Thulsa Doom is utlimately
responsible for Conan's
strength, since he was respon
sible for submitting Conan to
the years of suffering and back
breaking toil that have made
him the musclebound fighter he
is
This theme is just too weak —
too weak to convince Conan not
to finish his quest for revenge,
and too weak to convince the
audience that "Conan" is any
thing more than just your basic
high-budget, poorly-written ad
venture flick, trying to take ad
vantage of the success of
“Raiders of the Lost Ark ”
Schwarzenegger delivers his
lines with all* the subtle expres
sion and feeling of an orangu
tan Bergman, cast as someth
ing of a blonde Marion Under
wood, tries hard, but doesn't
give her character enough
oomph to make her motto, “You
wanna live forever?” believable
Then there’s Jones, who over
plays his evil character so much
that the snakes that surround
him seem likable in comparison
I
Conan (Arnold Schwarzeneg
ger) bites the tall of a giant
snake in hair-raising scene of
"Conan the Barbarian.”
In hopes of saving the film the
producers hired special effects
man Nick Allder, who won an
Academy Award for his work on
•Alien ’* Alas, most of the
special effects are just plain
silly, like a huge cauldion of
steaming green soup filled with
human hands and heads
(Cream of Flesh?), or a battle
over Conan's dying body
between his friends and the
gods of death Even the bloody
battle scenes are poorly done,
with the typical spurting blood,
decapitations, etc
And if that wasn't enough,
there s the editing Some
scenes seem to stretch on in
terminably, with no sense of
actual time represented The
battle scenes are hopelessly
confused, and are actually bor
ing
This is the Ultimate Sin for
adventure pictures If the viewer
isn’t kept on the edge of his or
her seat, there’s always the
chance to stop and consider
just how silly the whole affair
really is. And once you've lost
the viewer, it's almost impossi
ble to get him or her back again
•'Conan" not only failed to
keep me on the edge of my seat, *
it let me sit way back and just
smile at its foolishness Director
John Milius even has the gall to
make a Hitchcock-esque ap
pearance as a peddler of the
snack “lizard-on-a-stick" right
in the middle of the foolishness
Even some nice background
shots of scenic Spain and one
cute scene where Conan
punches out a camel can't save
this, loser. ■'Conan'' is quite
possibly the worst movie so far
this year, so naturally the
producers are already planning
at least one sequel Talk about
evil villains
by matt meyer
I ' '-- I'—rr I
Seasonal Cannery Work
in Salem
Applications: takenJtli,v "nlv
* * must be in person.
Sat. June 12: 8:30 -11:30 & 1:30 - 4:00
Oregon Fruit Products Co.
150 Patterson St. NW
(in west Salem off Edgewater St.)