IFC approves accidental fleeces resolution
By B.R. Ownnose
No* Of Vm EmcraM
The Incredible Fools
Committee approved a resolu
tion Wednesday calling for all
future Committees to allocate all
accidental fleeces to the Sick
ening Bar Association, OS
TRICH club sports, and
Recreation and Intermissions
"This is an idea whose time
has come,” said IFC member
Steve Hairloss, adding that his
fellow law students, most of
them alleged alcoholics, would
certainly join the SB A
‘‘We just have to support
bars,” he said "We could have
a bartender as president just as
we’ve had a peanut farmer and
an actor in the past years.”
■'* agree wholeheartedly,'1
said IFC tabler Carstoning Ras
cal The SBA can serve as an
umbrella organization for
Students Working to Investigate
Gin, Social Workers’ Intoxicant
Givers, a student chapter of Al
coholics Anonymous, and other
groups, he added
SWIG One and SWIG Two, as
the first two groups named will
be known, are for budding
toastmasters and barkeeps
serving unemployed welfare
workers respectively, Rascal
said There are many social
workers out of work because of
Reaganomics, he added
"l m just glad that Jack Dul
lard of the OSTRICH Bored
came to the meeting today to
twist arms on OSTRICH club
sports,” said IFC vice-desker
Exalted Roman, who said he
supported the entire proposal.
"I also enjoy golf, especially
right after crew," Roman said
about club sports.
The IFC should support OS
TRICH club sports and Recrea
tion and Intermissions, because
many students are involved, and
subsequently injured, in them,
Rascal says. Support for inter
collegiate athletics, and inter
universitiate athletics as well,
should be slashed, he added
The injuries could serve to
justify the student hell center in
the future, Rascal said
“I’ve only been mad four
times in my life and I’m pissed as
hell,” he added about the
University's desire to remain an
athletic supporter.
The ASUO Exception would
have no objections to such ac
tions, said Always Contrary,
ASUO president of vice for pro
gram consummation.
Initial reaction from some
members of the Committee,
however, was negative.
“What would Republicans
think?” said IFC member Divid'n
Givesome. He said that Repub
licans think Recreation and
intermissions and club sports,
except for golf, as being
socialistic and that GOP
members will demand full sup
port of college football.
"Democrats can still follow
pro baseball,” Givesome said.
“Funding so much athletics is
certainly a waste of accidental
fleeces for students in Members
Interested ‘Nough in Useless
Suits,” IFC member Pethy
Baloney said. "Potential and
current members of MINUS will
not vote for any of you in the
future if you pass this."
The objections of Givesome
and Baloney were minimized by
fellow IFC members Throbbing
Pain and new appointee Steala
Chain, before Rascal tallied a
7-0 vote.
not the
et al.
_ orr-ToorrMEws
tor a Nuclear Free Future will congregate
today in me neareet bomb abetter We'll be discussing
ways to halt me vie tout spread ol nuclear weapons
including strapping ourselves spread-eagled to nuclear
missile warheads designing our own weapons system
and blasting me holy bejesus out ot all those aggressive
nuclear powers before they get us. and converting me
United State s fleet of nuclear-armed submarines Into
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“onehead, University zanyology department today at
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DINGLEBERRY
FLGGM COUNTY
IT £'7««
Then o*. u?.
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klung by the neck to insure a npe and gamey
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Instruction
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MEMORIAL
FOOD FIGHT
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hey CUFFY Get keyed for the most awesome
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Have a real cut 'em up time! XOX LOVE,
BfTSY 4_ {
LTD ROUTE 14
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31 S:30 AM
We both got on the train at Jefferson Street,
exchanged looks and smiles, like a fool I got off
at the Eugene Mall You stayed on the bus
You’re short, dumpy, with greasy brown hair
You had on an army field jacket full of holes I
have thick bifocals, red curly hair, a slight
moustache and was wearing my father’s red
and white checked sports coat The kiss you
blew my way knocked the socks off me. Please
write University of Oregon, Carson Hall, Box
43. 4-1
Not Page 7 Section B