not the
sports
Women whip men;
take no prisoners
Bev Smyth’s final, final finale
By Plain Newman
Not ol tho Emaratd
The Oregon women's basketball went searching for a weak,
outclassed team to pummel, in order to ensure that senior all-ever
ything Bev Smyth would leave U of O on a winning note
They didn’t have to look very far
The women annihilated the Oregon men, 109-85, in Bev
Smyth's final final game, finally
Words can't describe the performance of Smyth, so we re not
going to try and write anything about it.
Words can describe the men's playing abilities, but they're not
the kind of words we can put into this ultra-conservative, God
fearing newspaper. You know, like crappy Oops, I said it anyway
For the Duckmen, it was another typical performance No one
played defense, John Greeg fell to the floor crying 12 times, frosh
center Rare Blassmussen couldn’t jump higher than three inches
off the ground, and coach Jim Zaney made the Pac-10 All-Snazzy
Dresser team with his dark suit and white tie
Said Zaney, “The kids played hard, we ll win someday this
is a recording ”
Athletic director Rick Flay was the emcee of another somnolent
"Goodbye, Farewell, Scram, Hit the Road Bev" halftime ceremony
"Thanks for the memories Bev." said Flay, "but don't you think
12 "Goodbye Bev" nights is enough? Alright already, get out of
here And take your cute freckles with you "
Photo by Blob Banker
John Greeg kissed the hardwood again, this time tripping over
Rare Biassmussen's sneakers that have been nailed to the floor all
season.
not tne
-spo rtf olio
AM whiners, complainers and intramural
sports stars who want coverage of their
Innerlube basketball games who have a
gripe about not the emerald sports coverage
will meet In room 5 EMU at noon Sour
grapes will be served
Basfcetbell coach Jbn Zaney’s fan chib
will meet today In the basement men's room
beneath Mac Court
The U of O hacky each club had some big
competition today, but frankly we don’t
realty care
The Oregon baseball team is entoying
their best season ever this spring, currently
undefeated after 12 non-games The Duck
diamondmen s next non-game will be
against the New York Yankees today at
Howe Field
Anyone Interested In being a favelln
catcher at this weekend s men s track meet
should be seeing a psychiatrist
The Oregon Club Sports program is
sponsoring the first annual Cort Fernald
Fnsbee Squirrel Pro-Am shootout this after
noon
Contrary to rumors heard in basketball
coach Jim Zaney's office centers Ralph
Sampson and Patrick Ewing are not trans
fernng to the University
EUQENE (AP) — The entire University
football team was tailed last night by Lane
County sheriffs on charges of impersonating
a mator college football team However
earlier reports that their coach Rich Rooks
was charged with fraud and deception in
promoting his 2-win (Moss team were lalse
I
The year
in pictures 1
Not the Emerald photographers
captured the images and feelings of
Oregon men’s basketball 1981-82
on film.
December
January
*
February
Increase your G.P.A.!!
Impress your parents!!
CLONE YOUR
BRAIN AND LET
IT DO YOUR
STUDYING!
Free your own brain
up for leisure,
recreation and those
uncontrollable
substances.
Clones also available for
arms, legs, buns, mothers,
stop signs and dumb jokes
told by your dumb Uncle
Arthur.
CLONICALLY
YOURS
just a hop, skip and a dump from
campus
You want to come see us
You want to come see us
You want to come see us
You want to come see us
You want to come see us
You want to come see us
You want to come see us
Spring - gene Hypnosis Clinic
THIS
EAR