Oregon daily emerald., November 19, 1981, Page 3, Image 3

reporter's notebook
in the belly of the Oregon State beavers
By JOHN HEALY
Of th* Emvrsld
The phone rang I grabbed it before
the first ring had ended
"It's all set," Steve said
"Meet us at the Springfield News in
half an hour.”
This was going to be the the first
shot fired in this year’s Civil War — that
perennial "last chance" for the Ducks
or Beavers to pick up their first win of
the season
It was just sort of an opening salvo,
kind of a red flare over enemy lines
Well, not even that
More like a knife in the back With
two twists for good measure
But at least we — the Oregon Daily
Emerald staff — could finally begin
gearing up for the final offensive
We made it over the McKenzie River
by 6:30 am, three guys in a white VW
Rabbit with 10,000 four-page
iook-a-like copies of the Oregon State
Daily "Barometer" — and two steak
knives
The steak knives? Well, depending
on who you asked, they were for self
defense, cutting apart the bundles of
Barometers or carving any available
hereford
We rolled into Corvallis at 7:15 a m
like the point of an armored division,
all hardened troopers, the sun in the
other guys' eyes and a predetermined
route of attack.
This was going to be easy, we
figured, even if it was just the three of
us against 16,000 of them, because we
had something they didn’t.
10,000 fake Barometers and a head
start
We sort of eased into the first drop
zone, eyes bulging and palms
dripping It was maybe 7:20 a m and
only a few Beavers were bustling to
class, so we guessed it was time to
make our move
It was, for the three of us, the final
offensive
A bundle of Baremeters under each
arm, we piled out of the command car
and headed for our planned drop
zones I hit maybe three, maybe four
front doors, tossing a couple hundred
Baremeters at each
We kept hitting dorm after dorm,
then we fanned through the classroom
buildings, stacking Baremeters in
doorways, on porches, next to doors
with signs like "Seed Germination
Greenhouse ' and 'Advanced
Horticulture ”
We cruised down the main drag,
blitzed the Memorial Union's
entrances, and sort of slid by the
Gespapo-looking information booths
manned by security guards
Then it was time for the really heavy
stuff — a full-blown assault on the
y^rhrdiiK --
mremeter ^r_
Pres McVicar asked to resign
fh* many Iac0t ol PrmnMlmnt Mr. Vk»i
Gum fi Nuns
ROTC. religion combine
"real'' Barometer drop-boxes They
only have tour or five of them — for
16,000 students, mind you — and
they're the same sickly orange color as
the Oregon State Beaver uniforms I
mean, you could turn off all the lights
in the world and still see the damn
things
After we gave the Gestapo-lady in
the booth a hand-delivered thank-you
note (a Baremeter), we waltzed
through the fraternities and sororities,
then headed for the Memorial Union
for the final assault.
We caught (it was thick enough to
put a hook in) a cup of coffee in the
main cafeteria, settled back and waited
for the entertainment to start
A ROTC guy sat down at the next
table He put his jelly donut on our
Baremeter, got himself comfortable,
then picked up the paper — and his
jelly donut — and glanced at the front
page Staring at him was a headline —
“ROTC, religion combine ” The kicker
headline — "Guns for Nuns.”
The burr-head about died.
Well, we finally rolled off the OSU
campus around 10 a m., hungry for
breakfast. We headed for the “Big O,”
a favorite Beaver hangout.
After dropping a stack of Baremeters
next to the cash register —
surreptitiously, mind you — this Beaver
Backer, dressed like a rich alumni,
picked up one His eyes and the front
page headline met at about the same
time. He gave the headline a
once-over, then a twice-over, then
muttered, “It’s about time.”
He dropped the paper down on the
counter and strode out.
The paper’s banner head leered at
no one in particular
“Pres McVicar asked to resign.”
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