Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 9, 1981)
A | hostage comes home Almost 100 people turned out Saturday night to welcome home ex-hostage Victor Tom seth, a Springfield native (right). ",It’s good to be home,” said Tomseth, mobbed by photo graphers, reporters and well wishers at the Springfield Rodeway Inn. "I really feel like I am home now." Tomseth, who graduated from Springfield High in 1959, and the University in 1963, was presented a framed certificate by Springfield Mayor John Live ly. The mayor proclaimed Feb. 7-15 “Victor Tomseth Week.” The former second-ranked hostage speaks in the EMU Ballroom today at 3 p.m. daily emerald Vol. 82, No. 96 Eugene, Oregon 97403 Monday, February 9, 1981 D-l-V-O-R-C-E Campus life brings pressure to student marriages By DOUG BUTLER Of the Emerald Warning: Being a student can be hazardous to your marriage. That's what University marriage counselors Lyn Blackshow and Kay Zaninovich would like to tell in coming married students. Blackshow and Zaninovich of the University Coun seling Center say they have seen scores of troubled student couples, including some who decided to break up while in the counseling office. The University is a dangerous setting for a marriage, they say. The tensions all students grapple with often aggravate marital problems, and even intellectual and emotional growth bring stress to bear on marriages, they add. And the strain is telling. Of the approximately 1,800 students listed as married, the University Legal Services office guides 50 to 75 through divorce each year. Many more visit the office seeking information on divorce law. To prevent this attrition, the University provides housing, childcare and marriage counseling. The University rents 766 apartments to married or single-parent students at Amazon, Westmoreland and East Campus housing The University offers marriage counseling at three centers — the DeBusk Center, the Campus Interfaith Ministry and the Counseling Center. The Psychology Department's Marriage Clinic is expected to return to operation next year. Many problems in student marriages result from a lack of time, Blackshow says. “It's very important for the couple to spend quality time together. People don't always believe it, but you buy into a relationship.'' Gary Wieder of the Marriage Clinic agrees that students’ busy schedules can hurt their marriages. “No time spent together is not a good sign. Partners should take certain minutes out of the day to Graphic by Kenn Babbs show they care,” he says. "They need to give a gesture of affection. Maybe cook a meal together and talk about the way they feel.” As married students become more involved in school, they may not want to share their problems or their interests with their partners, Blackshow and Zaninovich say. A relationship where the interests fostered at school are not shared is fraught with danger. “One person might think ‘It’s more important to fulfill myself.’ But in a relationship you’ve got someone else to consider,” Blackshow says. “A lot of people get married out of insecurities and needs. When they mature at school, they no longer need the relationship." Problems often arise as school encourages women to become more independent, Zaninovich says. 'The husband wants her home, but things are more exciting out there at the University. “It’s a question of priorities,” she says. Returning to school means giving up a job and a comfortable home for many couples. When a couple relocates in a new community, they leave behind the support of their families who could look after children and some of the needs of each partner Some also leave behind a good income. “Not all students are modern," Zaninovich says. “Some women are resentful when the husband is not coming home with the goods.” But when a student couple decides to divorce, the process tends to be less acrimonious than other divorces, says Chuck Spinner, a lawyer for the Legal Services office and a veteran of a divorce. “You don’t see the phenomenal animosity among students. "I guess their verbal skills assist them in getting through a divorce. They can separate emotional hurt from a division of property. “Students also seem more willing to allow joint custody of children. They seem to appreciate each other’s parenting skills.”
