...i ate it al
OGRE ruling halts rush;
Geek boasts defiance
The Oregon Geek Relief En
forcement (OGRE) recently ruled
that all sororities and fraternities
keep a lid on house membership,
and students interested in thelaw
should contact OGRE offices.
According to OGRE spokes
persons, the new law states that
University Geek living violates HR
216; thus, houses may no longer
rush to attract students in order to
expand membership.
"With the turnovers we pride
ourselves in,” Fred Frat, president
of Interfarturnity Commitment
(IFC), “we’ll never be able to main
tain status quo. Thanks to OGRE,
we’ll die without fresh faces and
pocketbooks."
But Stud Stevebaker, Kappa
Pig social chairer, says OGRE will
not affect that fraternity’s rush an
tics.
“For every 20 kegs consumed,
we’ll continue to pledge one
member,” Stevebaker boasts.
“Who cares about the law.”
Other Geeks to refused com
ment.
Tax ripoff help
offered in class
A night class in tax evasion and
avoidance will be offered this
spring by members of the Shy
Lock business fraternity.
The course aims to help stu
dents understand tax laws, what
they can legally and illegally get
away with and how to juggle more
than one set of books.
A guest speaker from the “100
Club” — a group of persons who
earn more than $100,000 a year
and pay no taxes — is scheduled
for April 15. Also, prominent
businessmen from Allenwood
Prison will address the class. No
ethics are required.
off campus
We invite you to attend
our free makeup clinic.
Guaranteed results
Before
After
FREE PARKING ON TOP OF STORE
0893 W. 400th
Walnuts
ALLRI6HT, IET'5 SEE
UHAT UE HAVE HERE
FOR OUR EVENING MEAL..
A)0 ONE DID? WELL I
GUESS THIS 6IVESUSA
CHANCE FOR another
Survival lesson...
I BROUGHT THE
MUSTARD AND KETtHUR
WHOBROUGHTTHEHCTDOGS?
Only natives win the game
Students who wish to become Oregon residents are asked to contact
Ron Channers in the Office of Student Adequacy.
"The residency game is one you can't win," Charmers says of non
natives who try to play for in-state tuition. He adds, "If you weren't born
in this state, you might as well pay the price.”
Students attending institutes of higher education can achieve resi
dency only be fulfilling certain domicile points.
Charmers says students may qualify for residency only after: resid
ing six years in Oregon in their own homes, voting on the District 40
congressional ballot May 23, being financially independent for 12 years,
paying Oregon personal income tax and pronouncing “Oregon" cor
rectly 10 consecutive times.
“But don’t get your hopes up too high,” Charmers warns. "You
support me too.”
Name your Worsted fave
The Worsted Award for distinguished teaching has now opened
nominations for outstanding faculty members.
Students and staff may submit names of teachers whom they feel are
most eligible for the coveted honor.
Qualifications include the following: Teachers must spend no more
than three hours per week in the classroom, with less than one office
hour per week.
Nominees should have no time to spend with students. Instead, they
should have at least two best-sellers annually, in addition to 13 pub
lished journal articles.
Teachers must be tenured, male and more than 60 years old.
SCRUFFY’S
13th & Odor
For the 99th consecutive week...
Boxe and Sleezel
Friday & Saturday 9-2
($5 cover — “we’re a class act”)
On the Big Screen
Sunday 4:30
Portland’s finest — Midget wrestling
Coburg kid vs. Stompin’ Stumpy
FREE — 3 week old popcorn
Page 2 Section B
Oregon Daily
Immorald
The Oregon Daily Immorald is published
annually by a group ot malcontent parvarae
journalists iMv> emerge from their regular
slave Mior camp to chum out biting sabre,
abtty vignettes and stub National Lampoon
would toes oU in a minute. For extra copies ol
today s issue, send $10 to First Bank ot
Geneva. Geneva. Switzerland, account
#69234
Any similarity between the material con
tained herein and arty real person, places or
things is purely coincidental
the Immorald was more or less coordinated by
Chris Norman, who was a constant pain In the
aas nagging the staff for stories
Staff Infections
Kevin Harden
Tom Jackson
Jerrtl Nr Ison
Marv Fjorobeck
Chari O'Neil
Mark Mooney
Kathy Mor>|e
Mark Stewart
Carolyn Beaver
Erich Boekatietde
Jm Payne
Eric Maloney
Melody Ward
Carl Bryant
Bit Lutz
Steve Dodge
Greg Wasson
Mike Lee
Ann Treneman
Becky Young
Kevin Hackstt
Dina Miles
Oerripe
In season
Distant, moody
Man about town
The Orb editor
Who?
Dirt Shoe reviews
JFK’s llegltimale kid
Bureaucrat edtor
Good in darkroom
Little known artist
Loeb Fan Cki>
Labe
Capitals!
6 4 — 1 — ■■■_!-> rie I
tTlOCMJt
Bear Garden
correspondent
Clone
Wal ornament
With it
Short
UPI
Dinah Share's sis