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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 20, 1978)
A Typewriter Warmed In Helli By JOCK HATFIELD Of the Emerald If you could see yourself as others see you, you would be very depressed-Book of Knowledge ★★★★★★★★★ Course Outline: How to be Born Again 336 Instructor: Christ, Jesus Required reading: Bible Meets through eternity 3 credits This course will be taught in a seminar format. Students will be encouraged to work indepen dently since the instructor is tem porarily indisposed. There will be occasional guest lectures from God and others specialists. Grad ing will be based on several quiz zes and a final on Friday of Ar mageddon week. The department has certain rules governing finals, and grading procedure will be as follows: A) Saint, B) Good Samari tan, C) Below Celestial snuff, D and F) Doomed to perpetual Hell. In the past some students have complained about the severity of grading in this class. Complaints may be registered with the academic advising committee. Fi nally, vacations are short, but they will not be lengthened at the ex pense of this class. Students wish ing to take Armageddon early should drop the class now--J.C. ★★★★★★★★ Someday, the world will be liv ing in peace, enjoying clean water and learning to love rather than to exploit. Well, we at Honeywell haven’t quite worked that one out yet, but we re trying. At Honey well, today is happening tomor row. ★★★★★★★ Edmund’s note The other day, while walking around Mount EMU, one of our more divine staff members was hit over the head by inspiration and dragged off into a comer. His first reaction was, “What, ho?” but he soon became possessed with an inspiration to write. Unable to cure this with penicillin, we allowed him to produce the following: The Ten Commandments for Fea ture Writers 1. Thou shalt write penetrating, in-depth, trenchant, cutting, per ceptive, socially relevant stories that will change the course of his tory and prompt letters to the editor. 2. Thou shalt not write stories on old ladies. 3. Thou shalt not compromise truth except for a very good joke. 4. Thou shalt use description. 5. Thou shalt not use pretentious diction or be a pendantic megalomaniac. 6. Thou shalt not be corny. 7. Thou shalt not merely spectate in life, but shall jump on the stage whenever possible. 8. Thou shalt triple space and use periods. 9. Thou shalt interpret and thou shalt interpret correctly. When thou art in the ultimate-truth busi ness, thou cannot afford to blow it. 10. Thou shalt base all stories on ultimate truth as printed in Ulti mate Truth revised standard edi tion, 3rd printing, unabridged. ★★★★★★★★ Consumer tip: Our reports indi cate that if you are a safe driver, most likely you are being ripped off by your auto insurance com pany. It seems safe drivers are bearing the social cost of daily ac cidents. Well folks, our advice is to get your money’s worth. Go out right this minute and have a head-on collision. Total your car. Murder a pedestrian. As long as you are paying for an accident, you might as well cash in. Demos set Eugene meeting Lane County Democrats have two rabbits in the hat this year. First, with a current registration of 82,240, they will have the sec ond largest delegation at the party’s state convention March 31- April 2. The 82 delegates and 41 alternates will be surpassed in number only by Multnomah County with 196 delegates. To top that off, the City of CLEARANCE SALE! AT TOAD HALL HI-FI AND YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO SAVE ON DEMONSTRATION, OVERSTOCK AND DISCONTINUED ITEMS! BUT HURRY, MANY OF THESE SPECIALS ARE ONE OR TWO OF A KIND, AND WHEN THEY'RE GONE, THEY'RE GONE! EXAMPLES OF THE SAVINGS! Receivers Kenwood KR 2600 Kenwood KR 7600 Kenwood KR 9600 Kenwood KR 4070 Sony STR 2800 Sony STR 3800 Sony STR 4800 Sony STR 5800 Sony STR 6800 Integrated amplifiers Sony TA-3650 Kenwood KA-3500 Sony TA-2650 Sony TA-3650 Sony TA-4650 Sony TA-5650 Man. Sugg. List $200 $530 $750 $300 $215 $250 $350 $450 $565 Man. Sugg. List $300 $170 $220 $300 $400 $520 Turntables Man. Sugg, list B.I.C. 940 (Includes base dustcover) $146 85 B I C. 960 (Includes Dose dustcover) $196.85 Hitachi PS-38 (less cart) $ 199.95 Hitachi PS-58 (less cart) $299.95 ADC 4000 Accutrac $599.95 Philips GA 312 (less cart) $179 95 SALE $169 $419 $599 $249 $193 $225 $315 $405 $508 SALE $248 $142 $198 $248 $360 $468 SALE $99.00 $149 00 $170 77 $251 29 $399.95 $150.00 Car Stereo Man. Sugg. List J.I.L. 604 AM/FM cassette $129.95 J.I.L 608 AM/FM cassette $129 95 J.I.L 613 AM/FM cassette $169.95 J.l l 612 AAA/FAA cassette $169 95 J.I.L 607 AAini cassette $64.95 J.I.L 615CB AM/FAA cassette with Citizens Band $369.95 Sanyo FT-406 cassette $99.95 Sanyo FT-407 cassette $109.95 Sanyo FT 484 AM/FM cassette $149.95 Sanyo FT-488 AM/FM cassette $169.95 Sanyo FT-415 AM/FM cassette $169.95 Speakers Man. Sugg. List SonobOAll $180 SonabOA-12 $240 SonabOA-14 $315 RTR EXP 8V $89.95 Tape Decks Man. Sugg. List Nakamichi 600B (Demo) $580 Nakamichi 70011 (Demo) $1,030 Nakomichi 250 (Demo) $280 Nakamichi 550 (Demo) $570 TEAC A-2300SX reel to reel $700 SALE $92 23 $87 61 $123.21 $123.21 $48 07 $199.77 $89.95 $99.95 $129.95 $149.95 $149.95 SALE $162.00 $216.00 $283.50 $59.97 SALE $522.00 $927.00 $252.00 $513.00 $547.20 PLUS MANY, MANY MORE! HURRY! LIMITED TO STOCK ON HAND! OPEN FRIDAY NIGHTS TIL 9 PM! OPEN SUNDAY NOON-4 PM IN EUGENE! ' Where happy endings always begin!” Eugene is hosting the convention for the first time since 1968, ac cording to state chairer and Uni versity Prof. James Klonoski, Political Science. The need for 123 county rep resentatives means ample oppor tunity for those registered Demo crats willing to forego one weekend s routine tor this chal lenging, quadrennial experience. Bill Dwyer, Democratic party county chairer, encourages any one interested to look into becom ing a delegate. Delegate election will occur at the county convention ten tatively scheduled for the end of January. Further information can be obtained by contacting Dwyer at the Lane County Comm issioner’s office. If the time factor proves un favorable for involvement in either the county or state convention, there is the alternative of attend ing the Young Oregon Democrats state convention. Tentatively set for March 11, the convention will debate issues and complete a platform that will be submitted to the full state convention three weeks later. Contact chairer David McTeague for more details at 485-6105. EMU Cultural Forum Saturday, January 28 EMU Ballroom 8:00 p.m. Tickets available at the EMU main desk.
