Photo by Bill Johnson
HAL KARASEL of California designed this yellow knit suit. The A-line skirt is topped by
a double breasted jacket with back belt. Cost is about $45.
Wedding Gifts
Require Notes
The weeks before your wedding
will be like Christmas every day
—except that you won't have to
give any presents in return. The
bride’s only responsibility is to
acknowledge the gifts as they ar
rive, sending a handwritten note
of appreciation for each one—in
cluding those from relatives of
your finance whom you've never
met, and from close friends.
The wise bride plans her pre
wedding schedule to allow time
each day for acknowledging and
recording wedding presents ns
they arrive. As each package is
opened, it should be listed im
mediately in a record book. Be
sure to include a description of
the gift, the name and address
of the donor, the store from which
it came, the date it arrived, and
the date your thank-you note was
mailed.
which Wax Aunt Susan?
If you expect to receive a lot
of gifts, it’s best to attach a num
ber corresponding to the listing
on each one—then you’ll know
which silver candy dish came
from Aunt Susan.
Thank you notes should be writ
ten in blue or black ink on a good
grade of white or off white folded
notepapcr. The bride’s name or
monogram may be engraved on
the notes but her married name
or initial should not be used
until after the wedding. Deco
rated notes and those with "Thank
You” or "Mr. and Mrs.” printed
on them should not be used for
thank-you notes.
The important thing to keep in
mind when writing your thank
you notes is that each person re
ceives only one— no matter how
many you write. Kach one should
sound as warm and personal as
you can make it. This is much
easier to do if you write a few
each day.
Don’t Sound Stuffy
One way to keep your thank-you
notes from sounding stuffy is
to picture yourself face to face
with the person you’re writing to.
You wouldn't say, "I am very
grateful for your most exquisite
gift” to anyone in person, and
such stilted language should nev
er be used.
Don’t be at raid to sound ex
cited. Most people — especially
older ones — love being praised
because of the unique gift they
selected. Refer to the individual
gift and th<> use you plan to
make of it- -ax much as possible.
If it happens to be a "mystery”
gift, with a purpose even Ein
stein would declare obscure, you
can mention its color or material.
It is much more gracious to ex
press appreciation for a specific
"piece of blue glass” or "silver
container" than for a vague "love
ly gift.” But it’s best not to be too
specific if you are not two hun
dred per cent sure of the in
tended use of the gift.
Try to put one thought besides
"thank you" in each note. A per
sonal touch, such as a comment
about the wedding, an invitation
to visit, or a reference to your
new apartment, should always be
included.
Duplicate gifts—whether exact
ly like or only faint replicas —
pose special problems. Although
it is an accepted practice for
brides to exchange duplicates
(even Amy Vanderbilt and Emily
Post smile on the procedure) no
one likes to think their gift was
one of the ones that was "ex
changed.” ff the gift can be re
turned without the giver being
aware of it, go ahead—but you
should keep it so Aunt Ellie won't
be hurt when she discovers her
silver icebucket is missing from
your new home. Whatever you
do, don’t even think of mention
ing duplication or exchange in
your thank-you note Those select
few who are not offended by ex
changes are most often the ones
who send money.
Damage*! Gifts
Damaged gifts should also be
handled with great care. If you
receive one from a local store,
return it on the sly for replace
ment If it comes from an out-of
town store, write a letter of ex
planation and wait for their in
structions. Be sure to ask them
not to mention the damage to the
donor. Some brides who failed to
make such a request were most
embarrassed to learn that the
stores involved did contact the
donor after thank you notes with
no mention of damage had been
mailed.
In short, try to make all of your
thank-you notes sound as sincere
ly appreciative as those for your
first and most welcome gifts. In
the long run, it's the gesture of
giving that's important—not the
gift itself
Headed for Divorce
Man's View of Marriage
By STEVE GREEN
There are probably those who
will say an article on divorce has
no place in the Spring Bridal
Edition but when you consider
that Oregon and California have
the highest divorce rates in the
nation, any prospective bride
should consider herself a prospec
tive divorcee, too, and plan her
first marriage accordingly.
First of all, a girl should con
sider exactly why she’s getting
married. If you were to ask one
of the unfair or opposing sex her
reason, she most likely would re
spond with three classical reasons
—love, happiness, and duty. The
latter of the three could mare
appropriately be termed s<‘cii"ity
but like nationalism, that’s a word
that we like to find substitutes
for. So we’ll call it duty.
Bride Divorcees
Practically all prospective bride
divorcees (in'this sense, the two
words are almo :;t interchangeable) :
think they’re in love. Amb-ose
Bierce defines the word lave a;
“a temporary insanity, cursable
by marriage.”
Bierce goes on to say that this
disease, like gout, is prevalent
only among civilized races livin '
under artificial conditions; bar
barous nations b-cathing pure ah
and eating simple foods enjoy
immunity from its revenges.
So we can readily see that any
marriage based on love — esp'“
cially those that spring from a i
University community — are
headed for the rocks. For what is
more artificial than the atmos
phere that surrounds a university
community? (and Oregon slab
burners and pulp mills certainly
; are not very conducive to pure
air).
Polluted Atmosphere
Once married, half the battle
is lost already, for the new
bride moves out of the artificial
university into the reality of dirty
diapers, no more monthly checks
from home, a disagreeable part
ner . . . and more dirty diapers.
Before she knows it. the love dis
ease is cured. The only thing re
maining is the polluted atmos
phere.
The second factor as you re
member, was happiness. Pfierce
defines this as “an agreeable sen
sation arising from contemplating
the misery of another.”
The prospective bride-divorcee
can take consolation in the fact
that her friends who don’t mar
ry are really more miserable than
:;he. for they will never know
the joy of supporting a husband
while he finishes school. They
won't have the opportunity of
coining home to a cozy “love-nest"
after nutting in an eight hour
shift as a waitress and being
greeted by dirty dishes, laundry,
and 3 husband who can’t wait to
get out of the house so that she
can take care of the brat.
Tile more she sees the “misery”
of her independent friends, the
more she might be inclined to
think the grass is greener else
where. And that’s a requirement
I for a prospective divorcee.
Thirdly is the factor that really
does make for a successful mar
riage. Security, or duty as we call
i it in this case, is that which
impels us in the direction of
profit along the line of desire.
A marriage that is founded on
duty is usually successful if the
prospective bride-divorcee has the
foresight to choose a rich hus
band, for then everything else
fails, money can practically al
ways keep two people together.
But if the husband gets wise to
the fact that all he is is a meal
ticket, this could lead to a di
vorce, too. Presuming, of course,
that it is the husband, not the
wife, who has the money.
Divorce Court
From this, it is easy to see why
the prospective bride-divorcee is
practically headed down the aisle
of the divorce court as soon as a
ring is clamped on to her finger.
So during her first or “exeri
mental” marriage she should plan
for the second and the interim
period between them.
In choosing an area to live, the
prospective bride-divorcee should
pick a state wncih has strict di
vorce lav.'s (alimony, child sup
port, etc.). There is no reason
whv she should have to go to
work during the interim period.
When acquiring household
good and furniture, buy things of
good lasting quality. Chances are
the bride-divorcee will get most of
j it in the divorce settlement.
| Of course, the cardinal rule is
; don’t buy anything engraved! If
, the divorcee’s initials were C.H.
! in her first marriage, for instance,
it would be very awkward to use
; silverware with those initials en
I graved on it in the second mar
riage. Someone might think she
lifted it from a hotel. Besides,
it will be worth more if she
wants to pawn it.
Plan Children
If you must have children,
it might be best not to have
them until you are sure that the
experimental marriage will work.
Children always complicate a di
vorce and you might have trou
ble trapping a second husband if
you have an established family.
But above all, remember the
poor slob has a legal obligation to
support you, the bride-divorcee;
and when you decide to unload
him, don’t let him get out of it
cheap. If he has to work harder
to pay alimony it will probably
be good for him. Besides it might
even help to stimulate the econ
omy.
To the fellows who may be
reading this, don’t be too dis
appointed. No matter what hap
pens, you don’t have a chance
anyway. There are only t w o
kinds of women: plain women in
a wicked league with the devil,
and attractive women with wick
edness, a league beyond the
devil.
Etiquette. States
Bride Always
Gives Wedding
May the groom’s family give
the wedding?
Regardless of the wealth of the
groom's family or the modest fi
nancial means of the bride's
family, it is a rule of etiquette
that the bride’s family give the
wedding. This maintains the dig
nity' and independence of the
bride’s parents, whose preroga
tive it is to give their daughter the
kind of wedding they can afford.
The only case in which an ex
ception can be made is when the
bride has no family.
How about wedding gifts dis
played?
A bride should show her appre
ciation for the gifts given her by
placing each one in a position of
greatest advantage. Very valu
able presents are better put in
contrast with others of the same
quality — or entirely different in
character. Colors should be care
fully grouped and pieces that jar
when together should he placed
as far apart as possible.
The bride’s mother is the first
to select her gown. She should
shop promptly and tell the mother
of the groom the color of the fab
ric and style of the dress chosen.
At a formal daytime wedding,
both mothers may wear either
long or short cocktail dresses. Only
after 6 p.m.—the arbitrary hour
set for formal evening ceremonies
—should they wear traditional
evening dresses.
Shoulders should, of course, be
covered at the church.