Thank-You Notes Bride s Responsibility
The weeks before your wedding
will be like Christmas every day
—except that you won’t have to
give any presents in return. The
bride’s only responsibility is to
acknowledge the gifts as they ar
rive, sending a handwritten note
of appreciation for each one—in
cluding those from relatives of
your fiance whom you’ve never
met, and from close friends.
The wise bride plans her pre
wedding schedule to allow time
each day for acknowledging and
recording wedding presents as
they arrive. As each package is
opened, it should be listed im
mediately in a record book. Be
sure to include a description of
the gift, the name and address
of the donor, the store from which
it came, the date it arrived, and
the date your thank-you note was
mailed.
Which Was Aunt Susan’s?
If you expect to receive a lot
of gifts, it’s best to attach a num
ber corresponding to the listing
on each one—then you'll know
which silver candy dish came
from Aunt Susan.
Thank-you notes should be writ
ten in blue or black ink on a good
grade of white or off-white folded
nctepaper. The bride’s name or
monogram may be engraved on
the notes but her married name
or initial should not be used
until after the wedding. Deco
rated notes and those with
"Thank You” or “Mr. and Mrs.”
printed on them should not be
used for thank-you notes.
The important thing to keep in
mind when writing your thank
you notes is that each person re
ceives only one—no matter how
many you write. Each one should
sound as warm and personal as
you can make it. This is much
easier to do if you write a few
each day.
Receive Only One
It is difficult to make them
sound truly appreciative if you
try to write several dozen at
once. In fact, if you postpone
them until after the wedding, you
may find it harder to relax during
your honeymoon if you have a
mound of unacknowledged gifts
on your conscience.
One way to keep your thank
you notes from sounding stuffy is
to picture yourself face to face
with the person you’re writing to.
You wouldn’t say, “I am very
grateful for your most exquisite
gift” to anyone in person, and
such stilted language should never
be used.
Don’t be afraid to sound ex
cited. Most people — especially
older ones — love being praised
because of the unique gift they
selected. Refer to the individual
gift—and the use you plan to
make of it—as much as possible.
If it happens to be a “mystery"
gift, with a purpose even Ein
stein would declare obscure, you
can mention its color or material.
It is much more gracious to ex
press appreciation for a specific
“piece of blue glass” or “silver
container” than for a vague "love
mmmmi lid PNintiHimnmim
By BONNIE CHANG
ARNESON HEATHER
Karen Arneson of Ann Judson House announced her engagement
to Jerry Heather, a graduate in political science who is on a fellow
ship to Syracuse University, on Jan. 6. Miss Arneson is a graduate
in music from Lakeport, Calif. Heather is from Sacramento, Calif.
The wedding is planned for August.
DOSTER KIMSEY
The engagement of Alice Doster of Ann Judson House to Vic
Kimsey was announced at a candle passing on Feb. 14. Miss Doster
is a sophomore in elementary education from Springfield. Kimsey is
a 1965 graduate and is presently ar, architect for Mercer Steel Co.
CAMPBELL MEAD
Jill Campbell announced her pinning to Stephen Mead at a candle
passing on April 4. Miss Campbell is a sophomore in English residing
in Highland House. Mead is a freshman in business administration
who lives in Campbell Club. Both are from Banks, Ore.
DAVENPORT•MEUSER
Carolyn Davenport’s engagement to John Meuser was announced
on Jan. 24 at a candle passing at Ann Judson House. Miss Davenport
is a freshman in elementary education. Meuser is a junior in educa
tion at Northwest Christian College. Both are from Mill City, Ore.
CARTER - McALPINE
The engagement of Sharon Carter to Bob McAlpine was announced
to friends on April 13. Miss Carter, an off-campus student, is a junior
in elementary education. McAlpine, a member of Theta Chi, is also
a junior majoring in English. Both are from Salem.
GARTRELL•ROTH
The engagement of Lea Gartrell to Rod Roth was announced
recently. Miss Gartrell, a secretary for Ward Insurance Agency, is
from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Roth, is member of Tau Kappa
Epsilon, is a graduate in political science who will receive his
master’s in June and will become an Air Force intelligence officer.
Brides Always Ask
May the groom’s family give
the wedding?
Regardless of the wealth of the
groom’s family or the modest fi
nancial means of the bride’s
family, it is a rule of etiquette
that the bride’s family give the
wedding. This maintains the dig
nity and independence of the
bride’s parents, whose prerogative
it is to give their daughter the
kind of wedding they can afford.
The only case in which an ex
ception can be made is when the
bride has no family.
How are wedding gifts dis
played?
A bride should show her appre
ciation for the gifts given her by
placing each one in a position of
greatest advantage. Very valu
able presents are better put in
contrast with others of the same
quality—or entirely different in
character. Colors should be care
fully grouped and pieces that jar
when together should be placed
as far apart as possible.
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ly gift.” But it’s best not to be too
specific if you are not two hun
dred per cent sure of the in
tended use of the gift.
What one bride thought was n
"tall vase” turned out to be an
umbrella stand.
Try to put one thought besides
"thank you” in each note. A per
sonal touch, such as a comment
about the wedding, an invitation
to visit, or a reference to your
new apartment, should always be
included.
Duplicate gifts—whether exact
ly alike or only faint replicas—
pose special problems. Although
it is an accepted practice for
brides to exchange duplicates
(even Amy Vanderbilt ami Emily
Post smile on the procedure) no
one likes to think their gift was
one of the ones that was ’‘ex
changed." If the gift can be re
turned without the giver being
aware of it, go ahead—but you
should keep it so Aunt Ellie won't
be hurt when she discovers her
silver icebucket is missing from
your new home. Whatever you
do, don’t even think of mention
ing duplication or exchange in
your thank-you note. Those select
few who are not offended by ex
changes are most often the ones
who send money.
Damaged Gifts
Damaged gifts should also be
handled with great care. If you
receive'one from a local store,
return it on the sly for replace
ment. If it comes from an out-of
town store, write a letter of ex
planation and wait for their in
structions. Be sure to ask them
not to mention the damage to the
donor. Some brides who failed to
make such a request were most
embarrassed to learn that the
stores involved did contact the
donor—after thank-you notes with
no mention of damage had been
mailed.
If a broken gift was mailed by
the donor, check to see if it was
insured. If so, it may be returned
with a note of explanation so
that the giver can collect the in
surance and make the replace
ment. Don’t mention damafte of
an uninsured or other non return
able Kift. or the donor may feel
obliged to send another.
In short, try to make all of your
thank-you notes sound as sincere
ly appreciative as those for your
lirst and most welcome gifts In
the long run, it’s the gesture of
giving that’s important not the
gift itself
SOLID COLOR sports Jackets rate high on the men’s fashion list
for spring. Bill ('amp, a senior in sociology, models one from his
personal wardrobe.
At
Hoffmans
choose your pattern
from the china
most preferred by brides...
i_e: ini o>c
MANSFIELD is graciously at
home in any period, enriched
with bands of pure 24 K gold.
5-piece place setting $19.95.
BROOKDALE wears a delicate
bridal wreath of hand-applied
orange blossoms between
platinum bands. 5-piece place
setting $25.95.
Brides-to-be are cordially invited to come in and register their
selection of china and silver with us. There’s no obligation.
873 WILLAMETE
344-5415