Suddenly it's final week... I
(Continued from fuif/c 2)
who whh an expert at outlining-.
From bim, Pythagoras learned
how to outline his notes, outline
the text, combine the two, out
line this, condense neveral times,
underline the most important
parts, until he arrived at one
forget the word 'FLUNK'?”
"By Jove!*' he said to his
friends, "I have outlined and
condensed and compressed my
notes and the text, and I have
arlved at one word. What If I
forget the word “FLUNK”?
“Then you will indeed,” said
the friend.
Still unsatisfied, and fretting
about his very first final, Pytha
goras consulted other friends.
"One advised to practice shift
ing his eyes to left and right. An
other told him to learn Morse
Code with a trustworthy class
mate. Other friends suggested
that he take a rabbit’s foot into
the test, that he hire a proxy, or
(most unthinkable) that he
simply study, and go into the
exam armed with only a pen, a
bottle of ink, and a shot of
brandy.
Back In his office, Beowulf
Ontology was autographing
copies of his doctorate disserta
tion. and brooding about the
final, too. "Sacre bled,” he
thought, "How can I give a
decent t1 in St! Manners when
those damned students obviously
know more about it than I do?”
How can I ever arive at a nice
bell-shaped final grade-curve,
with 40rv C’s, and 1'/, A, and
59r; F’s?" He decided to consult
hi . colleagues.
"Live ’em a multiple-choice
teal with no right answer*,"
said one. “Announce that it’s
an open-l>ook test the day of the
final,” advised another. “Hire
the Physical I’lant to mow the
grass outside your classroom
during the test—the noise will
ruin ’em." chuckled unother.
“Write the test in Sanskrit"
and "Smear grease on the pages
of the test-booklets so their
bail-point pens won’t write,"
wore two other suffgestlons.
The day of the Final arrived.
Pythagoras Snafu name In like
a lamb to slaughter, festooned
with cheat-sheets and ponies.
He had one secret weapon, how
ever.
Prof. Ontology strode Into the
room, signalled for the lawn
mowers to start up outside,
turned up the heat in the room
and closed the windows, and
handed out the tests, whieh were
divided into 250 true and false
questions and 4,750 multiple
choice questions, lie leered fiend
ishly at the olas*.
Pythagoras took one look at
the test, pulled out his pen, and
finished it in 15 minutes. He got
an A.
His secret weapon?
He guessed.
.etter to Editor...
(Continued from pai/e 2)
sition. We do not want to Justify
our collaboration with the Jap
anese but what we wish to point
out i« that the Dutch should not
have the moral right to accuse
us of having collaborated with
their enemy, when they did not
treat us properly. Our collabora
tion with the Japanese was only
a natural reaction as a result of
the bitterness we had suffered
under the Dutch colonialism.
(4) Our relations with the
Dutch is a tragic case in the
history of international rela
tions. Why, if the Philippines
could have good relations with
the United States; why, if India
can get along pretty well with
the British; but why the Indo
nesians should have such bitter
excitmq!
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[ feelings against the Dutch ? The
Emerald readers have the free
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themselves.
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