Butane, Eagle Pleased by New Frosh
TWO UNIVERSITY fveahmen get the “wortl" from faculty atlvlaora. At loft in Ronald Butane, happy
over the fine prospects, and Bo* Eagle, (right) expreMea hla approval._
Students Charge
Prexy Has Failed
To Fulfill Pledges
(CoiiliitucJ from huif nnr)
is it would be taking the root
'rom over his own head.
Ghosts of the USA condemned
Carry for making them Ghosts
,f the USA.
All three factions stamped out
of Carry's piesence. claiming they
would give him no support at all
text year in the. Senate.
Miss House, said she was with
drawing her plans to make Greek
dress the campus fashion, and in
stead was planning a display in
her fashion magazine of barbaric
(synonymous with Independent)
dress.
-SDX- --
Director Injured
Quick Millions, director of the
ERP (Eugene Recreation Palace)
was injured this morning when he
fell down the recently waxed stairs
of his building. He will be unable
to return to work for several
months.
There will be a rally at 4 in the
Krp bar room.
- SDX
Not responsible for reputations
spoiled, feelings hurt, or sides
iplit with laughter due to ttiis
issue.
Wachum Says Morals
Have Gone to the Dogs
Campus morals have “gone to the
dogs" reported I Due Wachum,
caretaker of the I.O.O.F. grave
yard, in an interview today.
• In my twenty years of digging
up dirt in the graveyard I nave
seen lots of student activities," Mr.
Wachum began. "Morals of univer
sity students have grown progres
sively worse," he said.
Wachum, a combination ditch
digger and gardener, has diligently]
done his duty to keep the grave
yard n*-at and well-kept during his
many years of employment here
The cemetery, as students well
know, is a never-ending source of
enchantment, arid it has i ridition
ally been the focal-point o; many
extra-curricular activities.
A spry gentelemau, for his HO
years, Wachum leleased the results
of a survey he made "just out of
curiosity" on the sexual life of stu
dents, as seen from his observations
in the cemetery.
The patrol results of Wachum's
survey on the sexual activity of U.
i of O. students is as follows:
The numer of students doing the
1 following on the night af May 11:
Looking into each other’s eyes, 126:
Whispering sweet nothings, 103;
Hugging, 225; Holding hands, 231;
and kissing, 377. Further infornla
' tion was unavailable, due to censor
ship by the O.S.S A. (Office of .‘Ha
dent's Sexual Affairsi.
SDX
New Library Plan
To Make Big Mess
•'First come, first served in our
new, plan of giving away books,”
Marl I’. Wince, University librari
an. explained after hints that one
Eugene stor«- had started a price
war on used copies of "Up From
the Ape." “We are determined to
meet all competition head-on," he
asserted, "ev< n if we must give
away every book on the campus.
Mince noted that not enough
books hail been stolen up to this
time. "Students will have to get on
the bell,' he snorted, "It they don't
speed things up well have some
volumes left over at the end of the
: term."
In vi- of this, the library has
been instructed to help rny stu
dent desiiing use of the “take
home" policy. This policy. Mince
explained, permits the student to
back his car onto the sidewalk at
the side door, and to take anything
he can get nit. hands on.
“I don't know that we will have
any takers," Mince rasped, "but we
expect it to be a hellofa mess.”
- -1
HAVE YOU READ
The S.D.X. CLASSIFIEDS?
Classifieds may be placed any evening at the Side, Tay
lors, or Max's Place, under the table in the last booth.