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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (March 3, 1950)
Mechanical Genius 'Must'
In Carson Coed's Life
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I live in Carson “Collegiate
Heaven’’ Hall, where men clamor
when someone says “open-house,”
and “Elevator” is the password.
Maybe the reader would like to
know what goes on in the campus
skyscraper, and how the co-eds
manage with science-at-their-fing
I used one of the modern ma
chines there once. Just once, be
cause most of the apparatus is
monetariar.—the machines eat
DIXIE LAND NIGHT
DANCE TO THE
• • •
mostly quarters and dimes.
The machine I chose was the
dryer—electric it was. The direc
tions said “Put in the clothes. Put
in the quarter. Wait.’’ So I did—
All the clothes came out recog
nizable except the two-way stretch
variety, which convinced me that
I would have to give' up my diet
or quit using the machine. This
was no problem since I didn’t have
I have seriously contemplated
going to the University of Iceland
spring term—and majoring in re
But Carson offers other short
cuts to comfortable living. There
are kitchenettes equipped with all
the devices for whipping up a late
Saturday breakfast—which is what
I decided to do.
Neglecting my egg long enough
to answer the telephone, I returned
to the smoking kitchenette. For
breakfast I ate scrambled ash and
two aspirin. So now I just wash
my hair in the kitchenette.
Science is a wonderful thing.
Everybody seems happy but me,
and even I get a kick out of riding
on the elevator. I’ve decided that
it takes different things to make
different people happy.
Next term I’m going to move
out under a rock in the Quad and
take “Principles of Back-To-Na
Last Feature Page;
More Spring Term
This is the last feature section
of the term. The amusement
page, inaugurated this year, will
be continued in the first Friday
Emerald spring term.
“Out of the Bottle by Cork,”
a regular feature of tho section
written by Cork Mobley, will
reappear at that time with a dis
cussion of how to have fun play
ing cards. Other contributions
will include “The Wise Old Owl”
column, an expose of the Oriental
Art Museum by Barbara Jere
miah, and Jack Landrud’s “Sosh
Desperately needed for the
section—short, witty features
and those side-splitters that
called for another one at Tay
lor’s yesterday. Contributions
and suggestions may be placed
in the “feature section” envelope
on the Emerald quonset’s front
She used to be the Belle of the
town but somebody tolled on her.
to go out?
For the best in
go to the "club."
— Delightful Dancing —
South Jasper Road and watch out for the logging
Turn right at the Sign
Gas Inspector Investigates Stench;
Finds Answer in Chemisty Lab
By BILL FRYE
In addition to being Emerald
Flunky First Class, which entails
bowing three times before upper
staff members and singing Irish
lulabies around the shack with a
licorice stick in my mouth, I was
recently commissioned as Gas In
spector with an S.D. rating (stench
The balmy breeze that greeted
me as I left the shack in quest of a
story however, forced a quick re
By -JACK liANDRUD
Taking the spotlight this week is
Alpha Xi Delta Alice Diehl who
did what most girls dream of do
ing by eloping with Coast Guards
man Bill Hubbard!
And the Pi Phi’s are boasting a
hot front porch after two pins were
picked up last Sunday evening;
Jane Carlisle claims Jerry Moshof
sky’s ATO badge, and Bonnie Birk
emeier is setting the pace for her
freshman sisters by winning the
jools of Fiji Ralph Kisley.
Sigma Kappa Margaret Gregg
climaxed her weekend by accepting
the hardware of Don Detnering of
Getting engaged like mad over
at the Alpha Gam abode are Ida
Pack and PiKA Phil Jones, and
Joan Jarvis and DU Bill Seal.
Delta Zeta Gloria Kraft picked
up some new jewelry in the form
of PiKap Joe Jensen’s crest, as did
Alpha Gam Frances Caldwell from
Sig Ep Hugh Berket.
From Carson Hall: Donna Til
lotson recently agreed when Sar
gent Fred Liddell of Ft. Lewis
popped the question, as did Eleanor
Heydenburk with Bill Dunn of
DZ Beth Thompson is losing
sleep as she puzzles over who sends
her a mysterious single flower
And now—what you’ve all been
waiting for—“The Eligible of the
Each week this column will pre
sent one of the local ladies who is
back in circulation and is “Elig
ible.”) This week it’s Susie Seley
of Kappa Kappa Gamma!
Sue is a pert freshman from Cat
lin School in Portland. Sparkling
brown eyes and hair set her out
as one full of mischief and excite
ment. Although only a yearling,
Sue is already busy in activities as
a member of the Emerald ad staff
and social chairman of her house.
So lets get with it, guys— The
Kappa phone number is 4-1423!
Add to the Weak Excuse Depart
ment: Delt Bob Gitner explaining
to Alfafee Joan Lokken, “Honest,
I’ve lost my pin!”
DICK POWELL, EVELYN
“STORY OF SEABISCUIT”
ERROL FLYNN, ALEXIS
JOHNNY STOOL PIDGEON
treat back into the Emerald quon
set. I gasped a warning to the
unsuspecting staff, then conked
There I was, flat on my back.
Finally, through watering eyes, I
made out purple ' chimpanzees
squatted on the ceiling. They were
working physics problems on blue
books with orange polka-dots.
Golly my! Was this a cheap
drunk or were the Aggies hep to a
A few minutes later I felt the ed
itor's No. 12's against my bridge
work. To this bit of encouragement
he added a gas mask and threw me
out the door with a demand that I
return by Junior Weekend with a
story on the phenomenon.
The campus, I noticed, was
shrouded with a light veil of smoke
about the color of an avocado seed.
The aroma was terrific. (I say
aroma because only an uncultured
sophomore would refer to it as a
“stink.”) It smelled like a mixture
of peppermint schnapps and burn
ing telephone receivers.
With a taste in my mouth like
a bird’s nest, I carried on. Evident
ly Webfoots are a hardy lot be
cause I saw several tripping around
the lawn near Hendricks Hall with
their shoes off muttering and drool
ing over the Pioneer Mother.
Naturally this aroused my curi
osity because it’s not every day
that people walk on the grass.
When I inquired about the absence
of foot-wear I was informed that
this new gas had magic curing
power and letting it ooze between
one's toes “would kill athlete’s
It was remarkable to watch the
stuff in action. I didn't notice any
dying athlete’s feet but toenails
were dropping off like philosophy
students in an 8 o'clock.
Inside the Chemistry lab I in
terviewed Dr. Otto Schmell. The
good doctor was noticeably fatigu
ed from his long hours in the lab
experimenting with the new gas.
His eyes looked like seedless golf
balls and his complexion had the
hue of a dirty mustard spoon.
But he had the answer!
“Ethyl mercaptan, produced by
the interaction of sodium hydroxide
and sodium sulphide, which is used
in the generation of wood pulp and
emitted from Weyerhaeuser’s, had
intermixed with hydrogen sulph-.
ide whicji was being used to give
campus foliage its regular spring
Dr. Schmell claimed a new gas
was formed in the process which
he called pyoodalophyanide, or,
“pyoo” for short.
I nodded my thanks, because I
couldn't even wheeze any more, and
started back to the shack ten weeks
ahead of schedule.
Now I don’t have to bow three
times to upper-staff members—
just Sing Irish lullabies while chew
ing on a licorice stick.
889 K. 13th
Worried About What
You Should Do Over (
That s No Problem If You Go to the Park.
You'll Enjoy Dancing to the Music of Kurt
Kenon, His Trombone, and Orchestra.
Featuring Gene Zerones and Joyce Carey.
• • •