Oregon
Emerald
Published daily during the college year except Sundays, Mondays, holiday! and final
examination periods by the Associated Students, University of Oregon.
Entered as second-class matter at the postoffice, Eugene, Oregon.
RAY SCHRICK, Editor; BETTY BIGGS SCHRICK, Business Mgr.
G. Duncan Wimpress, Managing Editor Jack L. Billings, News Editor
John Mathews, Associate Editor
UPPER BUSINESS STAFF
Advertising Managers:
John Jensen, Cecil Sharp, Shirley Davis,
Russ Smelser.
Dwayne Hcathman
Connie Fullmer, Circulation Manager.
■L.01S i^iaus, *_iassineu /\uvcrusmg man*
ager.
Elizabeth Edmunds, National Advertis
ing Manager.
Member
Pissociated Colle6iate Press
ALL-AMERICAN 1942
UPPER NEWS STAFF
Lee Flatberg, Sports Editor
Marge Major, Women’s Editor
Mildred Wilson, Feature Editor
Janet Wagstaff, Assistant Editor
Joan Dolph, Marjorie Young,
Assistant News Editors
Represented for national advertising by NATIONAL ADVERTISING SERVICE,
INC., college publishers’ representative, 420 Madison Ave., New York—Chicago—Boston
—Los Angeles—San Francisco—Portland—Seattle.
• • #
MexUneU Note
J^EITHER “rain, snow, sleet, nor hail” can stop government
mail carriers in their daily job, but the mile and a half
walk to town, the long mile and a half hike home become in
creasing “bottle necks” to students who would mail their
laundry package. Packed laundry bags collect on chairs, in
closets awaiting a campus mailing depot as yet unnamed, un
opened. Shirts that now last four days instead of the usual
one are a problem to those who stop to think before tramp
ing on the three-mile trek.
A few of the figures: Daily average of laundry bags alone,
jmailed in past years, has been 60. This figure mounts to a
more staggering 360 a week, 4320 a term, 12,960 a year. If
each student mailed his own lone laundry bag, total walked
miles in one day are 180, in one week 1080, in one year 38,880.
The 38,880-mile total for the year is more than once around
the world—a long walk in a war year even to mail essential
laundry bags.
* >k *
r I \HE fact that clean shirts are getting low, as well as other
A-l priority clothes, turns increased attention on meeting
of the Co-op board today to consider a new postoffice plan.
The new possibility: Set aside space on balcony of the
Co-op'store to weigh and stamp parcel post packages from
.3 to 5 o’clock each afternoon; work handled by two men stu
dents taken to postoffice by them for charge of approximately
five cents per package. The plan includes C.O.D. and insured
mailing through Railway Express. Money orders might be
handled later. Two students have volunteered for the job.
The costs compared to those of a regular contract postoffice
station are minor. Student problems, except in the less seri
ous case of money orders, would be solved.
If the plan is adopted, loss of shoeleather will once again
be limited to shorter walks between campus classes, increasing
shirt shortage will no longer be a student problem.
^alhuuf, . . .
"Y’ESTERDAY afternoon the student affairs committee ap
proved a plan of entertainment for the Thanksgiving week
end. It included a closed Wednesday evening, church Thanks
giving morning, an afternoon post-intramural football game, a
dance Thursday night (10:30 permission), a closed Eriday
night, and a closed Saturday night.
There will be those among us who will say, “1 don’t care
what they say, that sure isn't much of an enticement to stay
down at school. I'm going home anyway.” They will point
out that they haven't been home since the Washington game
and their laundry is getting short. They will cry because there
is no campus entertainment on Friday and Saturday eve
nings. Some will say that they arc going to stick around until
Friday morning and then go home.
>)*
JJOWEVER, there will be those among us who will say,
I’m going to be home in a few weeks anyway. I don't
need any sugar-coated weekend to make me realize that dur
ing these times if a student body rushes home it throws a
vital problem in the paths of those who are trying to gear our
transportation systems to the war effort.” They will say, it’s
about time we were thinking a little about something other
than our own selfish interests.
Let’s prove by our actions on the weekend of November
26 that the Oregon student body can be counted on to give
up a little of their pleasure for the good of the common
cause.—J.W.S.
We've Wondered Too ®
Have you ever said as an open
er to a conversation with a little
boy, “Nice weather we’re having
today, isn’t it, Johnnie?” only to
have him reply, “Nice weather
we’re having today, isn’t it, John
nie ?”
Most people know enough of
human frailties not to judge the
boy too harshly on one attempt,
so we try again. “Is Aunt Fannie
coming over for dinner tonight?”
The answer comes back, “Is Aunt
Fannie coming over for dinner
tonight?” It wouldn’t be so bad,
but the brat has to use the same
tone of voice too.
This time we wrinkle our fore
heads fiercely and say, “That
isn’t a very nice way for a little
boy to act.” As soon as the words
are out of our mouth, we realize
that we stepped into a sucker
move for he immediately retorts,
“That isn’t a very nice way for a.
little boy to act.”
This stops the conversation
for a while while we reconnoiter.
Finally we turn and say, “I am a
very insolent little boy.” He im
mediately retorts, “I am a very
insolent little boy,” whereupon
we laugh very heartily, “Ha Ha
Ha,” whereupon he laughs very
heartily, “Ha Ha Ha.”
After that we sink back into
our shell. Eventually we sneak
up on the child verbally and pop
a question fast-like, “What did
you have for dessert last night?”
Unwittingly the child answers “A
hig piece of pumpkin pie” where
upon we repeat,- “A big piece of
pumpkin pie,” and where are
you? The more energetic will
continue doggedly repeating ‘‘A
big piece of pumpkin pie,” but
eventually your voice gives out,
cr someone comes into the room
and you know who would give up
first should someone come into
the room. (A child has no inhi
bitions.)
Upon the intrusion of someone
like that, you reassume your dig
nity and walk out of the room
saying, ‘‘Why were children ever
born.” |D'
‘‘Why were children ever born."
—J. Wesley Sullivan.
AT ^-v-\
SEGOnD GLflnCE
NIGHT SHIRK
There was a young man from the Amazon
Who had trouble putting his pajamas on;
When the going got tough
He called his bluff
And put his Grandma’s on.
ARTICLE ONE: Tonight things start to pop the Beck
with way with a radio program and rally that’s guaranteed to
be one of the funniest yet. Those who think that the affair
Down
Front
By BILL LINDLEY
When John Barrymore finally
left a world of which he had long
ago grown tired few mourned
his death, for it had been too
many years since the great pro
file had fallen from his glory.
If John left the world a fallen
star, he gave to future genera
tions a daughter intended to take
his place. And Diana Barrymore
already seems to be taking over
the stage and screen so recently
vacated by her father.
' “Between Us Girls” is Diana’s
picture all the way, despite the
attempts of Kay Francis and Rob
ert Cummings to take it away
from her. Producers, eager to
show off her talents all at once,
have given her roles in one pic
ture ranging from a twelve-year
old girl to an aged Queen Vic
toria.
Story: Diana Barrymore re
turns to her home after the suc
cessful run of a play to discover
that her mother is thinking of
remarrying. Afraid that her age
will give away her mother’s, she
dresses up as a girl of twelve.
When friend Robert Cummings
takes her out for a soda and she
gets the wheel of the car it looks
as if her plan will fall through,
because she is arrested and the
police doctor recognizes her age
immediately. She is faced with
the prospect of her mother’s hu
miliation, and of her own. . . .
Rating: Obviously the plot does
not give this picture its high en
tertainment value. Without Di
ana Barrymore it might have
been an average "B” picture, but
the Barrymores carry on, and
continue to give the public the
great performances which they
expected of them in the past, and
will expect of them in the future.
A tabulation lists the valuation
of fraternity and sorority chap
ter houses at $153,124,000.
will be confined to the stage
alone will be disappointed for ev
erything seems to happen at once.
Emcee Earle Russell had a re
hearsal yesterday afternoon,
grouping his new talent with the
gags and situations that the en
tire rally is built upon. The re
sult then, after Beckwith’s crew
finished, is two jumps ahead of
anything ever put on here before.
We’ll give 50-50 odds that it'll be
a road show, to those who own
one.
ARTICLE TWO: We know a
girl that we’d like to date for a
blackout, but she is still carrying
a torch.
ARTICLE THREE: President
Wintergreen arrives today . . .
Thought someone would like to
know that Tl«3» Hallock’s voice
was heard in the wee sma’ hours
over KGW Tuesday night casting
the usual caustic remarks over
the mike . . . “Wake Island” is
the first sincere war picture since
“All Quiet on the Western Front.”
ARTICLE FOUR: Is obviously
missing, so read Article Two
twice.
ARTICLE FIVE: A friend of
ours actually swears that this
happened. He was calling the Tri
Delts and when central connected
him, he said, “May I have the
Delta Delta Delta number?”
Central snapped back, “I heard
you the first time.” Then there
are those two Kappaz chatting
over cigarette stubs and cokes.
One remarked that her boy
friend is “just like Rudolph Val
entino.” “Really?” asked the
other. “Yeah, not as good look
ing, but just as dead.”
ARTICLE SIX: Then there was
a certain sorority freshman who
had just received her first cam
pus flowers. “My, what a lovely
corsage” a member prompted as
she unwrapped it. The pledge,
now enraged, shot back, “I’ll have
you know that my figure is nat
ural”
ARTICLE SEVEN: The differ
ence between a Scotchman and a
canoe is that the canoe usually
tips.
ARTICLE SEVEN COME
ELEVEN: Heard the one about
the sophomore coed who swal
lowed her gum and felt Wrigley
all over?
(Please turn to Page seven)
Nuf Sed
By CHAS. POLITZ
We have engaged Pine Knot
No. 4 (lat. 48 N, lqngit. 82W) on
Mac court floor (for Saturday
night. Admiral Nimitz is loaning
us a periscope fort the occasion.
Big Blow Togo 'will declare a
truce and attend ...with the Ore
gon State student body, if UO
class cards are not required.
Hear C. B. (forj Boo) Del^h
is flying north to sketch the
crowd for his next^' picture, “The
Great White Massacre.’’
Johnny Mathews is no doubt
wondering if George Carey will
try to get Ziggy Elman too.
The Phi Delts want to know if
T. D. wears a rubber band to
hold his shirt up. ’
* * file
Jack Billings was skipping
classes legally for the first time
in his years-old life this week.
The infirmary had him, until the
nurses positively Refused to go
on acting as Emerald copy boys.
Here’s hoping Johnny Bubalo,
baseball’s only ambidextrous to
bacco-chewer, and orig of the
swellest guys on the campus, is
up and around afore you can say
Mejez . . . Merzek , . Ei^ol
Flynn. i fiJ)
Chromium-plated star-and-sic
kle to sports ed. Lee Flatberg for
his new and highly advanced def
inition of the Russian proletariat.
Telegram just received from Karl
Marx’s grandmothter on her un
cle’s side reads:
“COMRADE, sdoeghehtoghdds,
DEAR COMRADE| soroeitnezrid
kw, BRAVE COMRADE!”’
Who is the California man
(from OAC) givijjjg -Hen hall
queen, Betty Clark^ the rush?
Heard while swimming the mud
puddle channel between Oregon
and Deady, “I’m transferring to
(—) university neit term where
our frat has a bar |p the chapter
house, and no lights for house
dances.” Name u£on request—
for a price.
G. Dune Wimpress, the Emer
ald’s "Don’t bother me on the tel
ephone” managing ed. has been
having woman trouble (unusual
him). He didn’t know if that was
his Sig Ep pin Helen Holden
was wearing, or “in-the-army”
fraternity brother, Lloyd Man
ning’s; so he got his pin back
just to make sure she wasn’t go
ing steady with him while wear
ing Lloyd’s brass. Do you get it?
You’re not the only one.
Fourth Delt to plant a pin in
the Theta garden is Dave Zilka—
on Nancy Sullivan.
* * *
SAE “Lube” Strohecker isJA
a daze over Alfafee Phyllis WhS^
ting, ’tis sed. Hear “Lube’s” key
board thumpings at the Beta
house dance really showed; as did
(Please turn to page seven)