Oregon Emerald Published daily during the college year except Sundays, Mondays, holiday! and final examination periods by the Associated Students, University of Oregon. Entered as second-class matter at the postoffice, Eugene, Oregon. RAY SCHRICK, Editor; BETTY BIGGS SCHRICK, Business Mgr. G. Duncan Wimpress, Managing Editor Jack L. Billings, News Editor John Mathews, Associate Editor UPPER BUSINESS STAFF Advertising Managers: John Jensen, Cecil Sharp, Shirley Davis, Russ Smelser. Dwayne Hcathman Connie Fullmer, Circulation Manager. ■L.01S i^iaus, *_iassineu /\uvcrusmg man* ager. Elizabeth Edmunds, National Advertis ing Manager. Member Pissociated Colle6iate Press ALL-AMERICAN 1942 UPPER NEWS STAFF Lee Flatberg, Sports Editor Marge Major, Women’s Editor Mildred Wilson, Feature Editor Janet Wagstaff, Assistant Editor Joan Dolph, Marjorie Young, Assistant News Editors Represented for national advertising by NATIONAL ADVERTISING SERVICE, INC., college publishers’ representative, 420 Madison Ave., New York—Chicago—Boston —Los Angeles—San Francisco—Portland—Seattle. • • # MexUneU Note J^EITHER “rain, snow, sleet, nor hail” can stop government mail carriers in their daily job, but the mile and a half walk to town, the long mile and a half hike home become in creasing “bottle necks” to students who would mail their laundry package. Packed laundry bags collect on chairs, in closets awaiting a campus mailing depot as yet unnamed, un opened. Shirts that now last four days instead of the usual one are a problem to those who stop to think before tramp ing on the three-mile trek. A few of the figures: Daily average of laundry bags alone, jmailed in past years, has been 60. This figure mounts to a more staggering 360 a week, 4320 a term, 12,960 a year. If each student mailed his own lone laundry bag, total walked miles in one day are 180, in one week 1080, in one year 38,880. The 38,880-mile total for the year is more than once around the world—a long walk in a war year even to mail essential laundry bags. * >k * r I \HE fact that clean shirts are getting low, as well as other A-l priority clothes, turns increased attention on meeting of the Co-op board today to consider a new postoffice plan. The new possibility: Set aside space on balcony of the Co-op'store to weigh and stamp parcel post packages from .3 to 5 o’clock each afternoon; work handled by two men stu dents taken to postoffice by them for charge of approximately five cents per package. The plan includes C.O.D. and insured mailing through Railway Express. Money orders might be handled later. Two students have volunteered for the job. The costs compared to those of a regular contract postoffice station are minor. Student problems, except in the less seri ous case of money orders, would be solved. If the plan is adopted, loss of shoeleather will once again be limited to shorter walks between campus classes, increasing shirt shortage will no longer be a student problem. ^alhuuf, . . . "Y’ESTERDAY afternoon the student affairs committee ap proved a plan of entertainment for the Thanksgiving week end. It included a closed Wednesday evening, church Thanks giving morning, an afternoon post-intramural football game, a dance Thursday night (10:30 permission), a closed Eriday night, and a closed Saturday night. There will be those among us who will say, “1 don’t care what they say, that sure isn't much of an enticement to stay down at school. I'm going home anyway.” They will point out that they haven't been home since the Washington game and their laundry is getting short. They will cry because there is no campus entertainment on Friday and Saturday eve nings. Some will say that they arc going to stick around until Friday morning and then go home. >)* JJOWEVER, there will be those among us who will say, I’m going to be home in a few weeks anyway. I don't need any sugar-coated weekend to make me realize that dur ing these times if a student body rushes home it throws a vital problem in the paths of those who are trying to gear our transportation systems to the war effort.” They will say, it’s about time we were thinking a little about something other than our own selfish interests. Let’s prove by our actions on the weekend of November 26 that the Oregon student body can be counted on to give up a little of their pleasure for the good of the common cause.—J.W.S. We've Wondered Too ® Have you ever said as an open er to a conversation with a little boy, “Nice weather we’re having today, isn’t it, Johnnie?” only to have him reply, “Nice weather we’re having today, isn’t it, John nie ?” Most people know enough of human frailties not to judge the boy too harshly on one attempt, so we try again. “Is Aunt Fannie coming over for dinner tonight?” The answer comes back, “Is Aunt Fannie coming over for dinner tonight?” It wouldn’t be so bad, but the brat has to use the same tone of voice too. This time we wrinkle our fore heads fiercely and say, “That isn’t a very nice way for a little boy to act.” As soon as the words are out of our mouth, we realize that we stepped into a sucker move for he immediately retorts, “That isn’t a very nice way for a. little boy to act.” This stops the conversation for a while while we reconnoiter. Finally we turn and say, “I am a very insolent little boy.” He im mediately retorts, “I am a very insolent little boy,” whereupon we laugh very heartily, “Ha Ha Ha,” whereupon he laughs very heartily, “Ha Ha Ha.” After that we sink back into our shell. Eventually we sneak up on the child verbally and pop a question fast-like, “What did you have for dessert last night?” Unwittingly the child answers “A hig piece of pumpkin pie” where upon we repeat,- “A big piece of pumpkin pie,” and where are you? The more energetic will continue doggedly repeating ‘‘A big piece of pumpkin pie,” but eventually your voice gives out, cr someone comes into the room and you know who would give up first should someone come into the room. (A child has no inhi bitions.) Upon the intrusion of someone like that, you reassume your dig nity and walk out of the room saying, ‘‘Why were children ever born.” |D' ‘‘Why were children ever born." —J. Wesley Sullivan. AT ^-v-\ SEGOnD GLflnCE NIGHT SHIRK There was a young man from the Amazon Who had trouble putting his pajamas on; When the going got tough He called his bluff And put his Grandma’s on. ARTICLE ONE: Tonight things start to pop the Beck with way with a radio program and rally that’s guaranteed to be one of the funniest yet. Those who think that the affair Down Front By BILL LINDLEY When John Barrymore finally left a world of which he had long ago grown tired few mourned his death, for it had been too many years since the great pro file had fallen from his glory. If John left the world a fallen star, he gave to future genera tions a daughter intended to take his place. And Diana Barrymore already seems to be taking over the stage and screen so recently vacated by her father. ' “Between Us Girls” is Diana’s picture all the way, despite the attempts of Kay Francis and Rob ert Cummings to take it away from her. Producers, eager to show off her talents all at once, have given her roles in one pic ture ranging from a twelve-year old girl to an aged Queen Vic toria. Story: Diana Barrymore re turns to her home after the suc cessful run of a play to discover that her mother is thinking of remarrying. Afraid that her age will give away her mother’s, she dresses up as a girl of twelve. When friend Robert Cummings takes her out for a soda and she gets the wheel of the car it looks as if her plan will fall through, because she is arrested and the police doctor recognizes her age immediately. She is faced with the prospect of her mother’s hu miliation, and of her own. . . . Rating: Obviously the plot does not give this picture its high en tertainment value. Without Di ana Barrymore it might have been an average "B” picture, but the Barrymores carry on, and continue to give the public the great performances which they expected of them in the past, and will expect of them in the future. A tabulation lists the valuation of fraternity and sorority chap ter houses at $153,124,000. will be confined to the stage alone will be disappointed for ev erything seems to happen at once. Emcee Earle Russell had a re hearsal yesterday afternoon, grouping his new talent with the gags and situations that the en tire rally is built upon. The re sult then, after Beckwith’s crew finished, is two jumps ahead of anything ever put on here before. We’ll give 50-50 odds that it'll be a road show, to those who own one. ARTICLE TWO: We know a girl that we’d like to date for a blackout, but she is still carrying a torch. ARTICLE THREE: President Wintergreen arrives today . . . Thought someone would like to know that Tl«3» Hallock’s voice was heard in the wee sma’ hours over KGW Tuesday night casting the usual caustic remarks over the mike . . . “Wake Island” is the first sincere war picture since “All Quiet on the Western Front.” ARTICLE FOUR: Is obviously missing, so read Article Two twice. ARTICLE FIVE: A friend of ours actually swears that this happened. He was calling the Tri Delts and when central connected him, he said, “May I have the Delta Delta Delta number?” Central snapped back, “I heard you the first time.” Then there are those two Kappaz chatting over cigarette stubs and cokes. One remarked that her boy friend is “just like Rudolph Val entino.” “Really?” asked the other. “Yeah, not as good look ing, but just as dead.” ARTICLE SIX: Then there was a certain sorority freshman who had just received her first cam pus flowers. “My, what a lovely corsage” a member prompted as she unwrapped it. The pledge, now enraged, shot back, “I’ll have you know that my figure is nat ural” ARTICLE SEVEN: The differ ence between a Scotchman and a canoe is that the canoe usually tips. ARTICLE SEVEN COME ELEVEN: Heard the one about the sophomore coed who swal lowed her gum and felt Wrigley all over? (Please turn to Page seven) Nuf Sed By CHAS. POLITZ We have engaged Pine Knot No. 4 (lat. 48 N, lqngit. 82W) on Mac court floor (for Saturday night. Admiral Nimitz is loaning us a periscope fort the occasion. Big Blow Togo 'will declare a truce and attend ...with the Ore gon State student body, if UO class cards are not required. Hear C. B. (forj Boo) Del^h is flying north to sketch the crowd for his next^' picture, “The Great White Massacre.’’ Johnny Mathews is no doubt wondering if George Carey will try to get Ziggy Elman too. The Phi Delts want to know if T. D. wears a rubber band to hold his shirt up. ’ * * file Jack Billings was skipping classes legally for the first time in his years-old life this week. The infirmary had him, until the nurses positively Refused to go on acting as Emerald copy boys. Here’s hoping Johnny Bubalo, baseball’s only ambidextrous to bacco-chewer, and orig of the swellest guys on the campus, is up and around afore you can say Mejez . . . Merzek , . Ei^ol Flynn. i fiJ) Chromium-plated star-and-sic kle to sports ed. Lee Flatberg for his new and highly advanced def inition of the Russian proletariat. Telegram just received from Karl Marx’s grandmothter on her un cle’s side reads: “COMRADE, sdoeghehtoghdds, DEAR COMRADE| soroeitnezrid kw, BRAVE COMRADE!”’ Who is the California man (from OAC) givijjjg -Hen hall queen, Betty Clark^ the rush? Heard while swimming the mud puddle channel between Oregon and Deady, “I’m transferring to (—) university neit term where our frat has a bar |p the chapter house, and no lights for house dances.” Name u£on request— for a price. G. Dune Wimpress, the Emer ald’s "Don’t bother me on the tel ephone” managing ed. has been having woman trouble (unusual him). He didn’t know if that was his Sig Ep pin Helen Holden was wearing, or “in-the-army” fraternity brother, Lloyd Man ning’s; so he got his pin back just to make sure she wasn’t go ing steady with him while wear ing Lloyd’s brass. Do you get it? You’re not the only one. Fourth Delt to plant a pin in the Theta garden is Dave Zilka— on Nancy Sullivan. * * * SAE “Lube” Strohecker isJA a daze over Alfafee Phyllis WhS^ ting, ’tis sed. Hear “Lube’s” key board thumpings at the Beta house dance really showed; as did (Please turn to page seven)