Ye Frosh Edition
Editor ..
Managing Editor ...
Sports Editor.
Chief Night Editor
Stooges .
. Gordon Ridgeway
...Lyle Nelson
.Ehle Reber
.Bill Rentz
Pat Erickson, Dorothy Burke,
Spike Babcock
Reporters
... Doris Murphy, Muriel Beckman,
Sadie Mitchell, Waldemar Updike,
Evelyn Kirchofer
. Jean Crites, Jack Fariss,
Adelaide Zweifel
Night staff
The Oregon Daily Emerald, official student publication of the University of Oregon, published daily during the college year
Oregon Unday8’ Mondays» hoMay* and final examination periods. Entered as second-class mail matter at the postffice, Eugene,
BURKE'S BALLYHOO!
By DOROTHY BURKE
news from here and there—campus activities, high
lights and what have you . . . i’ll take chocloate
. . . still there’s no percentage in that sort of thing.
the expenditures of the university of minnesota
last year being $10,000,000 . . . think of how many
term papers you could have typed for that ... or
better still, for only one millionth of said amount
. . . which leads us to the fees trouble at the uni
versity of Washington — compulsory or optional,
that is the question . . . but after all, a fee’s a fee
no matter how you look at it. (no, i didn’t say
“foo”).
but where do you think you are—corvallis ? . . .
you guessed it — dick jurgens arid the frosh glee
. . . but the university of idaho goes us one better
and brings in maestro rodger pryor for none other
than their frosh glee . . . still think we got the
best of the bargain . . . never did like mustaches . . .
* ❖ s£c
oh, oh, here’s one that should be in crick’s col
nmn(?) with apologies to rogers . . . wonder how
it slipped in here ... oh well, here goes . . .
thursday—cooler,
friday—cooler,
Saturday—pardoned by the governor
(thanks nelson).
# ❖
back again to the Indiana daily student paper
which boasts a psychologist—usher who says prac
tical psychology is the first requisite of a theater
usher—the man who comes charging in with all
the assurance in the world, says he, wants to sit
half way down in the middle section—those who
hesitate and glance hurriedly about pick either
the extreme front or back seats . . . must be a
theater with no balcony . . . the same school has
a psychology prof who says dreams are of two (2)
count ’em (dedicated to “wolf” jermain) types—
those of an illusory nature and hallucinations . . .
still think r. benchley has the right dope on this
dream deal in latest masterpiece—“after 1903—
what?”
must add a word of greetings to fellow sufferers
of the daily northwestern—the frosh members of
the staff who took over the paper may 11 . . . may
we say—we feel for you . . . ridge thinks an 80-mile
jaunt for the entire staff for a squirrel hunt would
be appropriate about the time of publication of
this edition—by the neophytes of the press . . .
❖ * *
the university of Washington again . . . having
an annual tug of war between the chem engineers
and the pharmacists for the sole reward of a girl’s
kiss for the captain of the winning team . . . wonder
what kick the rest of the team get out of it—oh
well ... ** * *
seems our much ballyhooed “stage door” play is
being adopted by our Willamette neighbors who
are offering it as their junior class play . . . which
reminds us that our pals just north of here are
sending their cow college cuties in for cow milking
in a big way this week ... all for the sake of a
contest though . . . still, if some farmer’s looking
for a wife ...
$ m $
and, as we hate periods . . . they’re always putting
an end to things . . . we’ll just quote this little
epic from west point’s “pointer” . . . “mother is the
necessity of invention,” said the coed as she
crawled in the window at 3 a.m.
Drury-Porter
Nuptials Soon
Miss Laury Drury, daughter of
Mr. and Mrs. Allan B. Drury of
Medford will be married to Norris
Kent Porter, son of Dr. and Mrs.
E. H. Porter also of Medford,
June 11 at a ceremony held at the
St. Marks Episcopal church.
Miss Drury is a member of the
1938 graduating class and is af
filiated with Kappa Alpha Theta,
and Phi Beta Kappa. Mr. Porter
graduated from the University of
Oregon in ’35 and has been in
Alaska the past two years.
DEAN LEAVING
Hazel P. Schwering, dean of wo
men, will leave Monday for Pen
dleton as a delegate to the Oregon
Federation of Women’s conference.
She plans to return Thursday even
ing.
Dean Orders No
Picnics Tomorrow
As examinations are but a short
time, away, no organized picnics
are to be held Sunday, was an an
nouncement made by the dean of
women’s office Friday.
Subscribe for the Emerald and
get up-to-the-minute news of the
campus.
Nine Ride to Death Over California
This Lockheed passenger plane, built at a cost of $80,000, crashed on a flight to Las Vegas, Nev.
Apologetica lly Yours
By PAT ERICKSON
“A Beeg Train Robbery”
or
“The Case of the Vanishing
Male”
or
“While the Mice Are Away
the Cat Will Play!”
Here, friends, we embark on
a dizzy whirl of pinch hitting for
that noble bunch of literati,
those dear old friends and sever
est critics—none other than the
regular Emerald columnists,
God bless ’em!
To begin with, our humblest
apologies to—
Clare Igoe
To arms, little freshmen!
May your now timid feet patter
ever more boldly over the
campus of venerable Oregon!
My heart once quaked with fear
And oft, but oft. I’d shed a tear
My very first year.
Here now the freshmen attempt
a mighty task—
PUTTING OUT THE EMER
ALD!
Good luck my friends,
You’re almost sophomores now!
Alyce Rogers
“God hates a coward, try our
hamburgers.” — San Shop, Mc
Kenzie highway.
Bob Pollock
Gatha round, my children,
while pappy tells a story. Never
will I forget the time I captured
a German spy ring, single hand
ed, up near Bremerton, Wash
ington. I dressed in an Indian
suit (that was the summer I
was fourteen) and pretended to
bang away with my little toy
gun at their log cabin in which
later was found a 16-inch
mounted cannon all set to blow
the United States navy ship
yards to bits. The spies, there
were two of them, came running
out, and thinking me to be a
harmless little fellow let r&e tie
them up with ropes I’d brought.
All the time I told them I was
a. big Indian chief and they were
playing a game with me.
Click, click, as soon as I had
tied them, and whistled my sig
nal, you could hear the click of
the army guns of the United
States marines who were run
ning through the woods, ready
to take prisoners the men I had
bound. What a sight!
Paul Deutschmann
Good evening Mr. and Mrs.
Emerald staff, and also the ex
iles in the sports department!
International repercussions re
sounded tonight from an out of
the way incident in Sarawak,
when the foreign minister of
that country stated publicly
that he could imagine ' nothing
more nonsensical than an ele
phant hanging over a cliff with
his tail tied to a daisy.
Taking exception to this re
mark, the 450-pound third
assistant under secretary to the
Skitish foreign minister has in
sisted that Skitish imperialism
has been threatened, and that
the majority of his nation must
be defended.
We of the United States must
look at this matter squarely. If
we don't we probably won’t see
it at all.
is * *
Glenn JIusselrooth
Squib of the week (Thanks
giving week):
“Oh, cranberry sauce!”
Now you’re talking turkey.
❖ Jj* Ji#
“Frequency of Brake Ite-Lin
ing in Ten Ton Trucks,” by Lena
Ginster.
This novel has just been re
leased from the censor’s office.
It has an acid biting flavor that
will delight all true truck lovers,
especially when you get the au
thor's full intent of picturing’
how these noble vehicles wheeze*
up and down hills carrying
back-breaking loads.
The author herself spent con
siderable time as a lady true K
driver in Russia immediately at'-*
ter the revolution, and so speak f
from experience. This book ban
our hearty recommendation for
the whole family, down to, and
including, the ice man.
Next week's review: "Dirty
Work on the Boarder."
* $
Martha Stewart
Today, I see, is a beautiful
day. Today I shall go shopping.
Aw, now the sun has gone be
hind a cloud Blit my mind in
made up. Today is a beautiful
day, therefore I shall go shop
ping.
Why insist on shopping* to
day ? Are there not many mow
days in which you may shop to
your heart’s content? Ah, no,
alas. Shopping, with me, is no.
ordinary pastime, and besides I
saw a.luscious new pink (edit
ed) I simply must have. It’s not
often that a pink (also edited)
seems luscious to my jaded*
young eyes. I want a luscious
new pink (still edited).
Therefore the sun must shine!
I am going shopping today.
Elbert Hawkins
Led by husky Joe Doakes,
known as the “Sage on the East
ern Oregon Brush,” Oregon’s
football nine is rapidly moving1
into top position for a chance
to play a New Year’s game in
the a 11- state Wash Bowl com
petition.
Encouraged by their smash
ing defeat in the recent clash
with New* York university at
the famous Pipe Bowl game two
years ago Thanksgiving, the
Ducks are quacking for blood
and will stick it out, says Coach.
Oklahoma Toliver, if it takes
all summer, or something.
^JraWlSJtalaCillaCilCilCJCyCiJCilCilCiJfilEiEJCiJCL'I
FRESHMAN EDITION, Co. Adv. Mgrs.
Majeano Glover
Rojand Rodman
(2r^jtJjcJj(uJD!J[iili3iHlciJteIEJfiIEiciiEiEiSISJ2JSI@J5,i:
Today’s
Emerald
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Consequently they deserve
your support!
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PATRONIZE THEM
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