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About The news-review. (Roseburg, Or.) 1948-1994 | View Entire Issue (March 23, 1950)
2 Tli Newe-Revlew, Reseburfl, Ore Thurs., Mar. 23, 1930 " I DON'T MIND THTT SO - "'' MUCH, BUT lOU SEE (WHEN V , IT'S HIS WEEK. TO WASH J 33 7 HE'Lt HAVE THE PISH X S PAN OVER. THERE. J V ANPA MOPPIN" JOB . -"" . WHV KAOTHEKS GET 6RAV cZTf&'S. OUT OUR WAY ly J.R.WiUlom WESTERN AUTO SUPPLY CO. Wt celebrate our twenty fifth year of successful retailing with the full knowledge that this suc cess is the result of your goodwill and patronage. Combination Offer CUP and SAUCER -it. 0nJi" Wklte war. 10-m. tup with rMnf Mvcr. itrkv Ml pric Cos pltt Mt IS. 20c Vo!u 2 for 15' )SilverAnniversarySpecial! "CORONADO" 8 Cubic Foot REFRIGERATOR REGULARLY A SUPER VALUE A7 $2195 NOW Full 8 cubic foot capacity new 37-lb. eye-level freezer chest 12 V square feet of shelf area new, silent de luxe locking unit on door The famous "Zonemaster" for finest uniformity of air flow and humidity control. V $5.00 DOWN falvt for feature compare the "Coronodo" with my order make n the market coifing man dollart mort. 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(At.it Mftg UhS eli tab.). 1.79 Plus Tax fi-W- i-JJJ Stephens and Cass St. Phone 97 Welter Kiernan Tells Some 'Rules' For The Successful Teller Of Jokes Br HAL BOYLE NEW YORK. P When a men writes 12,500 jokes year, be feels he ought to know why a thing is funny or not. "But there, are some thing you Just can't explain," said Walter Kiernan, a radio humoriat who figures he has turned out some 75.000 gags in the last six years. "Take the "K" sound, for ex ample. For aome reaion it is the funnieat sound in the language. No one knows why. But all you have to do ia aay Brooklyn or Hoboken or Kalamazoo or Keokuk and people start laughing. "The first laugh Jack Benny ever got on the atage came when he stepped out and said, 'My name is Benny Kubeliky' which ia his real name. But the audience died laughing." Unfortunately, a jokeimith can't Just keep laying "Keokuk, Keo kuk, Keokuk" like a flattened trainwheel. He haa to go on to other thinga to earn his yuka Rulo-Of-Three Joke "Another atandby in the trade is known ai the rule - of - three Joke," said Kiernan. "For inatance, if you say 'the ia not only pret ty . . . she is not only wealthy but she ia alio stupid well, a certain percentage of people will think that remark is mildyl fun ny. The sequence builds up- to an anti-climax." Always popular also ia the "rule of oppoiites" or "upside -down Joke." Example: Instead of say ing, "drink is the curse of the working man," you turn it around: "Work is the curse of the drink ing man." There are dozens of similar tricks, but Kiernan doesn't be lieve anybody can become a suc cessful humoriat merely by follow ing formulas. "It can't really be taulht at all." he aaid. "It s just an attitude of mind. I doubt if aome of the best gagwriters even can read. Jt isn't ciscuuai, cenainiy. Kiernan, a pleasant, easy-going man of 41. shows little of the strain that afflicts many laughter merchants. He doesn't have an ulcer, one hallmark of success in this clan, nor does he support a staff of psychiatrists. This may be because be special bea in what ia called "throaway humor," casual pies sin tries aim ed at stirring chuckles instead of the explosive yuks which are the goal of high-pressure boff artista, such as Milton Berle. Shorter Time, Herder werk During a 70 - minute morning broadcast, interspersed with phon ograph records, Walter generates s minimum of 30 low-pressure wise cricks on news of the day, and tosses them off spontaneously. But it takes him an hour-and-a-half of hasd writing to develop and whip into pattern the 20 gigs be picks into a five-minute ABC network program. "You can't write them by a formula," he said. "But after a few years you find you can write them by reflex. Onejoke sets the stage for the next one. "I munble out loud as I write, because the material haa to sound right ss well as read right." Unlike many comedians, Kier nan doesn't keep a card file of jokes. "When you've used a Joke, it's better to throw it away," he aaid. "You can't keep yourself alive long trying to keep old jokes alive." He avoids dialect jokes, atom bomb Jokes ("It's too serious to joke about"), or deformity words such ss blink drunk, blind date, Tea Exemptions For Veterans Art Listed SALEM, Msrch 23 .W Sts!t income taxes don't have to be paid on most benefits resulting from war service, and men on active service get a $3,000 exemption, the state veterans department aaid today. The department listed the follow ing items as tax exempt: ' Payments by the Veterans ad ministration to veterans or their survivors, GI insurance death pay ments and dividends, bonuses paid by other states, unemployment, ed ucational and training benefits, ter minal leave and mustering-out pay, government paymente to de pendents of personnel on active duty, and disability . retirement pay. Military retirement pay for length of service is taxable, as are payments to national guards men for weekly drill. National guard pay for summer fielda campa ia tax exempt. ' Argentina averaged 260 oounds of meat per person in 1948, Uru guay ZZ7. The cardinal is the official bird of seven states. cock-eyed or cross-eyed. "Anyone who hss a deformity doesn't think it's funny," said Kiernan. What ia his funniest joke? He doesn't know, but the one copied most often by other humorists was his story of how he made an elec tric blanket by using some wiring from an old toaster but had to give it up, "because it started popping me out of bed buttered on both aides." "Everybody seemed to pick that one up," aaid Kiernan wryly. "They were all being thrown out of bed covered with marmalade or toasted on both legs." CL Why is Dtrtch 8oy House Paint fiki i witch ief? A. It's extra protection for your biggest investment... your home! d Why is Dutch Boy Quick dryinc Enamel like 1 suit ol armor T A. 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