The Weekly Chronicle.!
THE PORTAGE RAILWAY.
THE CONCURRENT RESOLUTION.
A GRANDFATHER TO HIS WIFE.
The Bill m Introduced by Senator Wat-
kins for the Construction or the same.
FRIDAY, - -
LOCAL AND PERSONAL.
the dalles, .... - - orego N A Biix, for an act to authorize and
empower the governor, secretary of state
a rA atatt tronjanrpr rf the fitatA of Ore
- JAN. 30. 1891 son. and their successors in office, for,
on. and in the name and behalf of the
state of Oreeon. to build, construct, oper-
ate and maintain a portage railway be
tween the hiehest and lowest points of
the navaeable waters of the Columbia
river at the Cascades, in Oreeon, and be
tween the highest and lowest points of
the navagable waters of the Columbia
river between The Dalles and Celillo, in
Oregon, and to build and construct all
necessary switches and approaches
thereto, and to equip, run, operate and
perpetually maintain the same, and to
sue for and condemn private property
for all necessary purposes in any way
connected therewith, and to charge and
collect freights and fares thereon, and to
appropriate mpnev tneretor.
Be it enacted by the LegMatire Assembly
of tlie State of Oregon:
Section 1. That the governor, secre
tarv of state, and state treasurer of the
state of Oreeon. and their successors in
office be, and they hereby are constituted
a board of portage commissioners, with
full rower and authority to do and per
form all the acts and things hereinafter
mentioned, for, in, and on behalt ot said
state, and in its name, to-wit :
First. To build, construct, run, equip,
operate and maintain a portage railway
between the nigneat ana lowesipomis oi
the navigable waters of the Columbia
river, at tne uascaaes, in uregon ; ana
also between the highest and lowest
points of the navigable waters of said
river between The Dalles and Celilo,
in uregon, as in tneir juugnient
shall be sufficient to meet the
demands of transportation at those
noints : movided. that said board shall
have the right to determine which rail
way shall be hrst built.
Second. To build and construct all
necessary wnarves, swiicnes ana ap
proaches to the same : to purchase and
provide said roads with all necessary
engines and rolling stock, and to pur
chase all needful, convenient and neces
sary supplies for the successful construc
tion, operation and maintenance of the
same.
Third. For and on behalf of the state,
and in its name, to purchase all neces
sarv land or rights of way, and for and
on behalf of the state and in its name,
to condemn by suit or action all neces
sary or needful lands or rights of way in
the same manner as is proviaea Dy tne
laws of this state for the condemnation
of lands and rights of way by other cor
porations for public use.
Fourth. To employ all such aid as
may be necessary to build, construct,
operate or maintain the same
Fifth. To do and perform all other
acts necessary or expedient for the sue
cessfnl construction, operation or main
tenance of said roads,
Section 2. Said board shall commence
to build.V construct, run, operate and
maintain said roads as soon as there are
any available funds under the provis
ions of this act
Section 3. Said board of commission
ers, for the purpose of reimbursing the
state, and for the purpose of running.
operating and maintaining said roads,
are hereby authorized and empowered
to charge and collect freights and lares
on said roads, to be fixed and adjusted
by the board ; provided, that all property,
or prisoners, or troops, belonging to, or
under the control ot the state ot uregon,
shall be transported over said road free
of charge.
Section 4. It shall be the duty of said
board to keep suitable books in which
shall be entered a correct statement of
all freights and passengers transported
over said roads, or either of them ; of all
moneys paid out, to whom paid and for
what purpose ; of all monevs received
and from what source ; of all property
owned by the state, for the purposes
aforesaid, and such books -shall at all
reasonable hours be open to the inspec
tion of any person.
Section o. .Before any person em
ployed by said board shall enter upon
the discharge of any duty wherein or
whereby he shall have the custody or
handling of any money, he shall be duly
sworn, and execute a bond to tne state
of Oregon, to be approved by said board,
in any sum not less than two thousand
dollars, conditioned to the effect that he
will faithfully and honestly discharge
the duties of his trust, and account for
and pay over all money received by him,
or coming into his possession or control.
Section b. - It shall be the duty of said
board to report to the legislative assem
bly of this state biennially everything
done or performed by them under this
act.
Section 7. The freights and fares
charged and collected by said board
shall be used in running, operating and
maintaining said roads, and the surplus
shall be paid into the state treasury.
section s. That there be and is hereby
A Celebrated Case at the Vogt Grand
next Tuesday.
. Mr. And. Winans and sister Mrs,
.Oiler of Hood River are in the city,
W. F. McGoven is confined to hia room
with an attack of inflammatory rheuma-
tism.
lne u. K. s JS. Vo. are leveling up
' and putting new ties on the tracks in
the shop grounds.
Several of oar citizens are at Salem,
and wfll give their attention to the
portage railroad bill.
Wild flowers are plentiful in the
. sheltered nooks on the bluff. Not a bad
showing for the latter part of January,
The property owners on Third street,
between Union and Lincoln, are filling
and grading it up to correspond with the
other parts of the street.
Messrs. James Benson, of Goldendale,
Robert Rand and John Parker, of Hood
- River and E. Husbands, of Mosier, are
in the city.
A light, but steady and apparently
general rain set in Friday last. It was
needed by our farmers and is more than
welcome.
For a lame back, a pain in the side or
chest, or for tooth-ache or ear-acne
prompt relief may be had by using Cham
- berlain's Pain Balm. It is reliable,
- For sale by Snipes & Kinersly.
Messrs Mosier and Davenport of
Mosier, both old timers who came here
in the early fifties are in the city to
day, and .honored our sanctum with a
visit.
The land office will no doubt do plenty
' of business in the next few months,
There will not be a rush as there was
two years ago, but the business of the
v office will probably be doubled.
Mr. J. H. Mosier Wednesday, while
signalling a train fell on the platform,
dislocating his shoulder and injuring his
right leg. Mr. Davenport reduced, the
dislocation and Mr. Mosier while confined
to the house is getting along nicely.
For a cut, bruise, burn or scald, there
is nothing equal to Chamberlain's Pain
Balm. It heals the parts more quickly
.1 A! iV 1 1
mail Buy uuier uppurauvn, snu unless
the injury is very severe, no scar is left,
ror sale by Snipes & Kinersly.
Garden seeds are exposed for sale in
the groceries, and are being sold too,
Gardens are being prepared and the
hardier vegetables planted. Making
garden in January in this latitude seems
preposterous but it is nevertheless true,
Mr. Robert Mays returned from Salem
this morning, and informs us that the
appropriation for a ' portage railway at
the Cascades is going to meet with con
siderable opposition in the house and
that it will require attention if the bill
is to pass.
If you want to get the news before it
gets stale subscribe for the Chronicle
It will cost you only fifty cents a month
to Lave it delivered by the carrier, and
it is brimful of news, wisdom and locals,
Read it for a month and you will find
that you cannot do without it,
Several persons applying to locate
forfeited land were compelled to take
out their first papers in order to do so,
though some of them were already
naturalized. All those who have their
papers should bring them, as it is abso
lutely necessary that they be produced
The farmers from each side of the Col
umbia report the late rain has extended
all over the country and should no more
rain fall until spring the ground would
still be in good condition for the plow,
and the early sown grain. The grass is
growing finely and already the hills be
gin to look green, which is an ' unusual
. thing for January .-
The latest news from the steamer
Baker is that she is standing the severe
gales of winter splendidly and up to date
has not been injured by ice floes. There
is strong probability that if the. present
weather holds the management will be
unable to decide when winter quits and
. spring commences, and she will have to
lay up all summer.
J. G. Downie has sold his residence
near the Christian church to John Cum
mine, ana nas announced to have an
auction sale of his household goods next
Fall Text of the Instrument Introduced
in the Senate by Mr. Watfclns.
Whereas, The Columbia river, the
largest river in the United States ex
cept two, is obstructed at the Cascades
and The Dalles, for a short distance
only, rendering navigation thereof im
possible at these points ; and
Whebeas, Said river is the dividing
line letween two great commercial
states, the State of Washington and the
State of Oregon, for a distance of three
hundred miles; and
Whereas, A large scope of productive
country in said states larger in area
than the states of Delaware, New Jersey,
Connecticut, Rhode Island, Vermont,
New Hampshire and Massahusetts
combined, is dependent upon a single
line of railroad to carry all of its vast
products to the seaboard and market;
and
Whereas, In consequence thereof the
inhabitants of such territory are now
and for a long time prior hereto have
been subject to extortionate freight
rates and cnarges ; and
Whereas, Such line of road is now
and has been for at least one year past
wholly unable to speedily carry or trans
port any considerable amount of the
products of said territory, even at the
rates charged ; and
Whereas, In consequence thereof
large quantities of products raised in
such territory have been stacked up for
months along the line of said road for
hundreds of miles, exposed to the
elements, awaiting shipment and trans
portation; and
Whebeas, By jeason thereof great loss
and damage has resulted to the produc
ers of said section and the development
of said states have been and are greatly
hindered and delayed thereby ; and
Whereas, The locks at the Cascades
will evidently not be completed at the
present rate of progress for at least fif
teen or twenty years, and after they are
completed the obstructions in said river
at The Dalles will still remain ; and
Whabeas, It is possible to success
fully builcUand operate portage railways
around said obstructions, at no great ex
pense, and open up said river to naviga
tion for hundreds of miles into the
interior at once, to the great and inesti
mable advantage and benefit of both
states equally ; and
Whereas, The Legislative Assembly
of the State of Washington is now also
in session, now therefore, be it
Resolved, By the Senate, the House
concurring; l hat there be a joint com
mittee, composed of two Senators ap
pointed by the president of the senate
and three representatives appointed by
the Speaker of the House, to meet and
confer with a similar committee to be
appointed by the Legislative Assembly
of the State of Washington, concerning
the feasibility, advisability, probability,
and propriety of the two States jointly
taking hold of and acting together in the
construction and operation of portage
railways around said obstructions . in
said river. Said committee to report to
this Legislature at the earliest possible
moment the result of such conference;
and be it further
Resolved, That the Honorable, the
Legislative Assembly of the State of
Washington be, and it hereby is respect
fully and earnestly solicited, requested
and invited at as early a day as possible
to appoint a similar committee to confer
with said committee concerning the
matters and things above stated, and
for the purposes aforesaid. Such com
mittees to meet at such place or places
as they may agree upon. And be it
further
Resolved, That the Secretary of this
State be, and he hereby is requested to
at once prepare a copy of this resolution
and certify the same under his hand and
seal and transfer the same to the Legis
lative Assembly of the State of Washing
ton for their consideration. '
When, to the first fair flush of happy youth,
I looked with loving eyes upon thy face.
It seemed to me I there could Cad, in truth.
The perfect type of beauty and of grace.
And as the beus rang out their gladsome chime
That day when we were wed, I did not dream
That ever, with the mellowing of time.
Could that sweet face of thine more lovely
seem.
Yet, as I see thee now thy crown of white;
The glory of the motherhood; the lines
Upon thy brow and cheek, marks of time's flight,
The many sweetnesses thy life combines
Uethinks that in my youth my judgment erred:
Despite thy beauty, seeming so benign.
This heart of mine has never been so stirred
As by the loveliness that now is thine.
John Kendrick Bangs in Harper's Weekly.
A BACHELOE'S STOEY.
BOAT RAILWAY BILL.
Present
oaturaay. tie will also sell a good cow
and ' a quantity of straw. Mr. Downie
has concluded to move to The Dalles,
and he will be missed here as he has '
been a good citizen and a public spirited
man. uoiaenaale aenhnal.
- Mr. George Morgan and Col. Nevius
have opened an office next door to
Bettingen's hardware store, and are
prepared to fill out papers and prosecute
claims before the land office. Both
gentlemen have been clerks in the land
office, and are thoroughly posted on all
matters pertaining to land office busi
ness.
The question has been asked, "In
what respect are St. Patrick's Pills bet
ter than any other?" Try them you will
una, in at tney produce a pleasanter ca
thartic effect, are more certain in their
action, and they not only physic but
cleanse the whole system and regulate
tne liver ana ooweis. f or sale at 25
cents per box by Snipes & Kinersla.
Ed. W. Bingham, who was secretary
of the ' Ballot Reform League, writes
from Salem, that if the people want the
Australian voting system adopted they
will have to make their representatives
in the legislature know it pretty forcibly,
as there is great danger of the bill being
killed by having riders put on it.
Since Jay Gould has gained possession
of the Union Pacific all the white section
hands have been discharged and Chinese
emyloyed in their places. At this point
sixteen white men were employed at an
average wage of $1.80 per day. This put
in circulation here about $750 per month,
which is about $725 more than shows up
from the chinamen. Some folks object
to convict labor, but for all practical
purposes convict labor is no worse for
the public than Chinese labor. -The
state derives the benefit from the former.
the Chinese six companies from the latter
and business is not benefitted by either.
A prominent physician and old army
surgeon in eastern Iowa, was called
away from home for 8 few days ; during
his absence one of the children contracted
a severe cold and his wife bought a
bottle of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy
lor it. lney were so much pleased
with the remedy that they afterwards
nsed several bottles at various times,
He said, from his experience with it.
he regarded it as the most reliable pre
paration in use for colds and that it
came the nearest being a specific of any
medicine he had ever seen.' For sale by
Snipes & Kinersly. ' .
appropriated out of the general fund of
the state of Oregon the sum of sixty
thousand dollars from any moneys not
otherwise appropriated, for the uses and
purposes aforesaid, and the secretary of
state be, and he hereby is, authorized to
draw his warrant or warrants upon the
state treasurer for said sum, or any part
thereof, when directed to do so by the
board.
Section 9. Inasmuch as there is great
necessity for said portage railways im
mediately, this bill shall be in full force
and enect from and after its passage,
At the Academy yesterday.
The exercises at the Academv vester.
day afternoon passed off very pleasantly
and reflected great credit upon all the
participants.
At the close, .Principal In sails spoke
of the purpose of the school to the satis--.
. i 1 1 - i i i , i , ,
utn wmi noimng uui tne Dest worx ana
invited all friends of the institution not
to wait for some special exercises, but to
visit classes snd see the ordinary wcrk.
lhe programme is given below :
1. Song, America: The School.
Recitation, Sandalphon: Miss Anna Taylor.
Composition, Memoir : Miss Kona Ruch.
Song, Village Bells; The School.
Composition, Clouds: Mr. Li men Lee.
Recitation, Legend of Bregenz; Miss Luella
HcFarland.
Composition, Kindness: Miss Katie Martin.
Song, Merry Bells: The Young Ladies.
Declamation. Mann ion and Douelas: Mr.
Albert O'Leary.
Composition, A scene from the DesChutes.
Miss Emma Roberts.
Composition, Cats: Mr. Nello Johnson.
Solo with violin accompaniment: Miss Iva
Brooks.
Recitation, The Statue of Clay: Miss Mavbel
Mack.
Composition, The Trials of the Student: Mr.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11,
12.
13.
14.
Clyde Bonnev.
Song, Hear f)om Bells: The School.
Recitation, The Legend Beautiful; Miss
Ettie Rowe.
Declamation, The Independence Bell: Mr.
Balfe Johnson.
Song, The Red White and Blue: The School.
A Chestnut.
A Portland special in the Philadelphia
Press says : "The citizens' committee,
comprising members of the board of
trade and Oregon board of immigration,
nave raisea a guarantee of ?iuu,uoo for
the purpose of starting a democratic
daily newspaper in Portland. This guar
antee has been given to t rank S. Gray,
formerly manager of the New York Mail
and Express. The new paper will be
tne "rortiana Tribune." Mr. Gray will
bring with him an able corps of news
paper men from the east. The first
number will be issued about March 1st,
next.
Real Estate Transaction.
Jane A. Erwin to Seymour C. Friendly,
lots 39 and 40, block 3, Erwin and Wat
son's addition to town of Hood River.
$15.
Same to Otto Mangold, lots 41 and 42.
block 3, Erwfn and Watson's addition to
the town of Hood River. $15.
Band.
J. M. Huntington & Co. announce
that they are prepared to make out the
necessary papers for parties wishing
to file on so called railroad land. Aonli.
cants should have their papers all ready
before going to the land office so an to
avoid the rush and save time. Their
office is in Opera House Block next to
main entrance.
Complexion of the Bill In Con
gress.
Washington, Jan. 24. The Oregon
delegation to-day received a communi
cation from William Armstrong, a mem
ber of of the legislature, asking them to
suggest to the legislature what course it
should take in reference to the improve
ment at The Dalles.' The letter stated
that this request was made at the sug
gestion of the legislature. The delega
tion, after consultation, agreed that each
man should write his own individual
views. Senators Uolph and Mitchell,
being in entire accord, have mailed their
opinion, which is as follows :
In our opinion there is no chance for
the passage of a boat railway bill in the
house so amended as to provide for a
portage railroad. We do not think con
gress will enter upon construction of
portage railroads. We do not think a
portage road would be an adequate or
satisfactory relief to commerce, even
could congressional aid be secured for
such a road. The commencement of a
boat railway, or of a canal and locks, or
any other permanent and adequate im
provement, would be indefinitely post
poned. We believe that at the next
session we will be able either to secure
an appropriation in a separate bill of an
amount sufficient to construct and com
plete a boat railway, or otherwise secure
a sufficient appropriation in the river
and harbor bill to make a substantial
commencement of the work of a boat
railway. We have exerted and shall
continue to exert our best energies, in
connection with efforts for appropria
tions for other river and harbor im
provements in different sections of
our state to secure an appropriation for
an adequate and permanent improvement
at The Dalles of the Columbia. We be
lieve after a thorough investigation that
the boat railway is, under all the cir
cumstances, the proper permanent im-
Erovement. we shall feel instructed,
owever, in the matter by any resolution
psssed by the legislature on the subject,
and do not feel at liberty, as the deleg
ation is divided in opinion, to make any
recommendation as to what the legis
lature in our opinion ought to do, further
man may be indicated by the foregoing.
Should however, the legislature adopt
a resolution, fa oring a portage road,
the contingency ought to be provided
for in the event of the house refusing to
consider the pending bill, or should con
gress reruse an appropriation tor a por
tage road, that the delegation will not
feel instructed at another session from
attempting to secure an appropriation
for a boat railway, both by a separate
bill and by an appropriation in the
river and harbor bill."
The natural accumulation of money is
a great deal more rapid than the average
person imagines. The legal rate of in
terest in New York state is 6 per cent,
per annum. If $10,000 were pnt at 6 per
cent, interest, and if the interest were
compounded semi-annuAlly, the eccum
nlation at the end of - twenty-five years
would be $43,800. Many of the fortunes
in America are the result of investments
in lands and enterprises. The country
is growing very rapidly, and the increase
in the value of land keeps pace with the
growth. JXew lork World.
I was a bachelor, not wealthy, but
contented and happy. 1 am still a
bachelor, contented but not happy.
This is the difference between Thomas
Growler of a month ago and the same
person today. But one short month ago
1 thought nothing of matrimony. I
smoked my pipe in comfort at my lodg
ings (in the city of Canterbury)-or sewed
refractory buttons upon my clothing
without a thought of any female to take
that employment ont of my hands.
But I was one day seated in the beauti
ful grounds of the Dane John, watching
the children drinking at the fountain,
when a shadow fell upon the path. It
might have been the shadow of coming
events, but upon looking around I per
ceived that the substance was a very
beautiful young lady, with roguish blue
eyes that might have been the head
quarters of fun and good humor, looking
at me from a frame of golden ringlets.
Now, you need not imagine that I,
sober gentleman of 40, was in love
with a girL Nothing of the kind. She
was at least 30, and a ragged little boy
who stood near, whose tongue I loosened
with a piece of silver, told me that she
was a widow, who owned a small farm
outside the town, and that her name was
Mrs. Faber. He also informed me that
her brother lived with her and managed
the property.
Upon the following morning I greatly
surprised my friend, Harry Powers, by
praising the Widow JFaber, and request
ing an introduction. He gazed at me a
moment in speechless astonishment, and
I think that he really thought of knock
ing me down with Webster's Dictionary
and calling for assistance. But Harry
was engaged himself, and soon compre
hended . the state of affairs. So he
dropped the book upon the table and in
vited me to a picnic which was to take
place in the woods in a few days, where
I should meet the lady and be intro
duced.
I immediately purchased a new suit of
clothes, a beautiful wig and a pair of
tight boots, and when the morning of
the festival dawned crowded myself
into the broadcloth, put on my wig, and
after much preparation and strong lan
guage had been wasted managed to
squeeze my feet into the patent leathers,
where they felt as if incased in red hot
iron boots.
At the picnic I received the promised
introduction, and had the pleasure of es
corting Agnes all day. She talked with
me, and we attacked the eatables in
company, investigating the interior of
pigeon pies and dissecting chickens to
gether. I was happy all day, and when
at parting she invited me to visit her I
believe the tightness of my waistcoat
was all that prevented my heart from
bursting its bonds. My feet prevented
me from sleeping that night, but I was
willing to suffer in such a cause, and 1
bore it without a murmur.
One day I hired a horse and gig at the
livery stable, and started toward the
farm to carry Agnes to a party at a
neighboring town. She wa already
dressed when I drove up, and looked
beautiful in a new bonnet and shawL
We were very comfortable, and our con
versation was very interesting. 1 was
advancing rapidly in her good opinion.
and was beginning to think seriously of
popping the question, when the horse
stopped suddenly as if turned to stone.
We both tumbled suddenly forward
with a low bow, ana my companion s
lovely nose came into sharp contact with
the dashboard. -
I immediately jumped out to see what
was the matter, but everything about
the horse appeared to be all right, and 1
again climbed into the gig and prepared
to start. But the horse obstinately re
fused to move. 1 coaxed and nattered,
but he would not be persuaded. 1
thrashed him with the whip until my
wrist ached, but he remained immova
ble as a statue. At last i snarpened a
hedge stake, took my seat, gave the
reins to my companion and gave him a
tremendous blow. I hardly hoped to see
him stir, but he did, and started with a
leap that almost threw me on my back.
I immediately seized the reins, but his
determination had taken another chan
nel, and he would not stop. I tugged at
the reins and shouted, "Whoa!" but he
held the bit between his teeth and rushed
along the road like a runaway comet
Agnes screamed ana i roared as we
dashed by the farm houses with the
speed of a locomotive. The horse's heels
splintered the dashboard at every leap,
and the bright shoes twinkled like small
stars in dangerous proximity to our eyes.
Finally the wheels struck a tree, the
horse stumbled and the next moment I
was lying upon my back in the road.
Feeling like an exhausted bellows Ire
gained my breath and picked myself up
after a while, bat what a situation! Agnes
lying upon the grass, with torn clothing
and disordered hair, while her chignon
was rolling along the pathway pursued
by a terrier. The horse stood quite still
and gazed calmly upon the ruins. I was
without hat, covered with dust. The
boys shouted boisterously, and the com
pany, who perceived that we were unin
jured, laughed. I could have jumped
into the river to hide myself, and I en
tertained serious ideas of running away,
but I thought better of it and assisted
Agnes to arise.
It cost me a heavy sum for the wrecked
gig. I was scratched and discouraged.
Agnes had turned the cold shoulder and
I was in despair, but I wrote her a letter
explaining matters and begging to be
again taken into favor. I was overjoyed
to receive an encouraging reply. She
forgave me and would not give me up,
but her brother was very angry and
would not permit her to see me. If I
would come upon the following evening
to the farm I could reach her window
by means of the grapevine, and we could
think the matter over.
This letter cheered me up wonderfully,
and when the clock struck 9 upon the
following night I walked gayly to the
farm, passed around to the rear and per
ceived a white figure at the window. A
large dog, which was fastened in a kennel
under the window, threatened to raise
an alarm, but a few words from Agnes
quieted him. I clambered up the vine
and was soon at her side. I was so hap
py that the grapevine might have been
the ladder to paradise. Agnes was for
giving and lovely, and we conversed for
half an hoar without a thought of the
lower world,
I was calmly gazing at the farm which
would soon be my own when I heard the
door open. Upon turning I saw the ob
noxious brother standing in the doorv
way, with a very suspicious whip in bis
hand. He looked angry, and I imme
diately comprehended his purpose. It
was not in human nature to remain
quiet, and when he sprang, toward me
with an angry howl I answered with
yell, and springing through the window
began slipping down the vine.
I would no donbt have made a master
ly retreat, but I was but a few feet from
the top when the brother cut the fasten
ings with his knife, and the vine and
myself fell together. Unfortunately
dropped upon the roof of the kennel.
The roof, not being able to hold showers
of fallen humanity, gave way, and
tumbled directly into the jaws of the
bulldog. The jaws, with a howl, fast
ened upon my leg, and for a moment
there was a terrible battle between us.
At last the dog unfastened to take
fresh bite, and I took advantage for the
moment to get away; but my enemy
again fastened upon my coat tails, and
as I could not drag dog and kennel over
the fence I was unable to move.
The dog pulled one way and I the
other, and for a while the issue was very
doubtful, but I caught a glimpse of one
of the farm laborers advancing with
pitchfork and gave a desperate jerk.
was too much for the strongest of cloth.
and, leaving the torn portion in the dog's
possession, I bounded away toward the
barnyard fence. But I discovered in time
that I was charging upon the couched
pitchfork of the servant, and, turning
quickly to the right, took a flying leap
over the garden walL Unluckily I at
tempted to fly without wings; my feet
caught in the stones and I turned
somersault into the garden.
Instead of falling upon the grass
dived headforemost into a straw bee
hive. The beehive wtent over on the
ground and I followed; but the bees
were the first to pick themselves up.
and when 1 arose upon my feet there
was a whole colony ready to settle upon
me.
They swarmed in my hair, and crawled
under my clothing until I was frantic.
The more 1 stamped and beat and
raved, the more they stung me. At last
I gave a stamp of tremendous force; my
tight patent leathers burst, and just as
my feet protruded at the sides 1 stepped
in the overturned hive. I might as well
have stepped in the fire; the little tor
mentors stung my feet, and 1 danced
likeaa bear upon hot plates and for the
same reason.
I was still wildly beating the air, when
I perceived all the farm servants, whom
my shouts had aroused, charging in
body. They shouted "Thief," and flour
ished their weapons and 1 began to think
of leaving that neighborhood in a hurry
Bnt I was determined upon revenge. 1
could not be stung any worse than
was; so 1 grasped the hive that stood
upon the bench and hurled it into the
crowd 1 had the pleasure of seeing it
drop upon the brother's head like a huge
hat, and to see the individual throw it
off and roll upon the ground in anguish.
I never derived so much pleasure from
hearirfg a person swear before.
I could hear my pursuers breathing
hard near me, and expected every mo
ment to feel the spikes of the pitchfork
behind, when 1 stumbled over a stone
and fell headlong into the river. The
men behind, unable to check themselves.
followed, and the next moment we were
all struggling in the water.
It was not deep, and was the best acci
dent that could have happened to me, as
it rid me of the bees. I soon arose and
scrambled up the steep bank, where 1
stood to look around. In one place a
head appeared above the water; in an
other a pair of feet kicked in the air.
without any visible owner. Hats, pitch
forks and men were mixed in a confused
heap, while all plunged and puffed like
a shoal of porpoises. Although I was
smarting with pain the scene was too
ludicrous to be gazed on with a sober
countenance, and I laughed until I could
roar no longer.
But when 1 reached my rooms I did
not feel so well. I knew that I had lost
Agnes forever, besides the heavy sum
for the gig and the new suit. My face
was swelled for many days, and I could
not leave the house. To be sure, some
of the neighbors had witnessed the
battle, and when it was shown how I had
punished them I was quite a hero among
my friends. Praise, however, did not
replace the missing money, and Agnes
would not speak to me in the street.
So I was wretched.
I am now a confirmed bachelor, and I
look with a thankful heart upon the
chaos of bootjacks and boots in my room
without the least desire to change my
condition. I look upon all widows as
attractive destroyers, and my experience
has been such as to confirm my hatred of
the sex. Of course all who think dif
ferent are welcome to be fettered, but if
I was to choose between . hanging and
winning a widow I would select the
least of the evils, and patronize the ex
ecutioner. - Agnes is still a widow, and
her brother is married and 1 hear, with
grim satisfaction, that he is henpecked.
New York World
Excessively Polite.
It is well tor be always polite, but there
are times when it is better to be natural
than to attempt the elaboration of social
courtesies. The safest rule in any case
is to be simple and do the obvious thing;
this will not only be most sincere, but
will often save one from appearing ridic
ulous. "
A gentlemen who wished to give pleas
ure to a young lady of his acquaintance,
A-'iss Mott, arranged a boating party in
her, honor. The guests were chosen with
her approval and everything was done
to her liking.
Unfortunately the wind proved treach
erous, and about the middle of the day
the party found themselves becalmed on
a sea which rose and fell in the long
ground swell that is sure to prove too
much for all but experienced sailors. It
was not long before most of the party
were ill, Miss Mott being one of the
first to succumb. She lay in a wretched
heap ou the deck of the yacht, refusing
to be moved, her hair in disarray and
her whole appearance that of' unutter
able misery.
"I am so sorry that you are ill, Miss
Mott," the host said. "When I wish to
give you pleasure again I will not pro
pose a water party."
With a supreme effort Miss Mott
raised her ghastly face, about which the
hair straggled, wet with the sweat of
agony. An attempt at a smile showed
itself on her white lips.
Oh, I am having a perfectly lovely
time, she said feebly.
The earnestness with which she spoke
was too much for the gravity of her
companions and, sick or well, they burst
into a laugh, which so overcame Miss
Mott that she fell to weeping bitter
tears. Youth's Companion.
Tipping is Economical to Oinen.
Systematic tipping of waiters pays. A
tap here and there by the occasional pa
tron or restaurants is simply generosity.
The regular tipping of one waiter at one
restaurant, however, is great economy,
When the waiter is sure of the tip the
service is much better, and there are
possibilities in an a la carte order which
only the well trained and well tipped
waiter knows. ' ,
Go to your regular restaurant with a
friend, and if your purse is small order
a one portion dinner. There will be a
few extra oysters, a larger tureen of soup,
the roast will be in two generous slices.
just enough for two throughout. Now
give your waiter a double tip, and the
next time you ask a friend to dinner you
win be treated like lords. New York
Telegram. i
HE LOVERS LITANY.
Eyes of gray a sodden quay.
Driving: rain and falling tears.
As the steamer wears to sea
In a parting storm of cheers.
Sing, for faith and hope are high;
Kone so true as yon and L
Sins the Lovers1 Litany:
"Love like ours can never die!"
Eyes of black a throbbing keel.
Milky foam to left and right;
Whispered converse near the wheel
In the brilliant tropic night.
Cross that rules the southern sky.
Stars that sweep and wheel and fly.
Hear the Lovers1 Litany:
"Love like ours can never die!"
Eyes of brown a dusty plain
Split and parched with heat of June;
Flying hoof and tightened rein;
Hearts that beat the old, old tuna.
Side by side the horses fly;
Frame we now the old reply
Of the Lovers' Litany:
"Love like ours can never dier
Eyes of blue the Simla hills
Silvered with the moonlight hoar;
Pleading of the waltz that thrills.
Dies and echoes round Benmor.
"MabeV "Officers," "Good-by,"
Glamour, wine and witchery
On my soul's sincerity
"Love like ours can never die I"
Maidens, of your charity
Pity my most luckless stats.
Four times Cupid's debtor I
Bankrupt in quadruplicate.
Tet despite this evil case,
An a maiden showed me grace,
Four and forty times would I
Sing the Lovers' Litany:
"Love like ours can never dier
New York Herald.
HOHTH DflLtLtES, Wash.
wThe Largest
in the West.
The New
Boot and Shoe
FACTORY.
Fnrnitire Ifj.
Wire Works.
Man- (Meal
NEW BRIDGE.
Several
Fine Cottars.
fleai Railroad
Interstate Investment Co.,
72 Washington St., PORTLAtfV Or.
O. D. TAYLOR, THE DALLES, Or.
In the last two weeks large sales of lots
have been made at Portland, Tacoma, Forest
Grove, McMinnville and The Dalles. All
are satisfied that
North Dalles
Is now the place for investment. New
ufactories are to be added and large improve-
I ments made. The next 90 days will be im
portant ones for this new citjv
Call at the office of the
Or
-: DEALERS IN
Queer Contents of His Brala. .
Alliance, Box Butte county. Neb., fur
nishes a case for surgeons and scientists
to study over. Sunday Adelbert Higby,
a hoy, 16 years of age, residing in that
place, was out hunting with a rusty old
shotgun. The gun exploded, striking
the hoy in the forehead just above the
right eye, crushing the skull. Through
the aid of a companion who was with
him the lad was taken home and Dr. W
EL Smith was summoned.
At 6i g'at of the wound the doctor was
surprised to find the boy alive, but judge
of his amazement when, probing the
wound, he found an old rusty screw that
had been in the stock imbedded fully an
inch and a half in the brain. Further
probing brought to light two pieces of
the boy's hat brim and four pieces of the
skull bone, the largest of which was
nearly the size of a silver dollar. In the
operation the doctor also found it neces
sary to remove about half an ounce of
the brain itself. It is something no
surgical authority has recorded as possi
ble. Bnt here it is proved. The injured
boy has been conscious ever since the
accident, and nnless blood poisoning sets
in he stands every chance of recovering.
St. Joseph News.
Siapie and Fancy Gfocenes.
Hay, Grain and Feed.
Cheap Express Wagons' flos. 1 and 2.
Orders left at the Store willjreceive prompt attention.
Trunks and Packages delivered to any part of the City.
!
Wagons always on hand when Trains or Boat arrivei.
No. 122 Cor. Washington and Third. Sts.
Grandall 6V Baroet,
The Kindly Mastiff Spoke for Ber.
That was a fine passage between the
executive of Kentucky and the wife of
the condemned man, who went to Frank
fort Friday to ask for a pardon. She
had presented her papers and sat breath
less while the arbiter of her fate perused
them; and, as she waited, a mastiff, the
playmate of the governor's little son a
beast not given to strangers uncoiled
himself from the rug, where he had been
lving, and came up in that friendly way
which only dogs know how to affect.
with perfect sincerity, and, seeing sus
pense and pain in the agitated features
of the poor woman, he put his paws
gently upon her knees and began to lick
her hands. The governor finished the
papers, and the petitioner was. about to
speak when the grim old soldier said:
"It is not necessary, madam; the dog
has spoken for you, and straightaway
signed the document which was to re
lease a dying man from prison and en
able him to go to his grave from his own
home. Louisville Couner-J oumal.
MANUFACTURERS AND DEALERS IN
FURNITURE CARPETS.
Undertakers and Embalmers.
NO. 166 SECOND STREET.
H. Herbring.
Dealer in
The Path of Storms.
A method is now on trial at the mete
orological office at Stockholm which
seems likely to throw some light on a
subject which hitherto has been attend
ed with much uncertainty, namely, the
determination of the path taken by
storms. From the telegraphic weather re
ports tables of the density of the atmos
phere have been constructed, and other
data have been collected which have
been embodied in special charts.
These charts are found to give much
more reliable clew to tne movements
and origin of cyclones than the usual
method of the comparison of isobars and
isotherms alone. The latest investiga
tions show that storms move in the di
rection of the warmest and dampest air.
parallel to the lines of equal density
leaving the rarer air to the right hand.
New lork Commercial Advertiser.
FANCY.GOODS AND NOTIONS,
v CLOTHING, HATS AND CAPS,
Boots and Shoes eto.
PRICES LOW AND CASH ONLY.
FISH St BHRDON, '
DEALERS TlsT
Stoves,
faraaees, rjanges,
PLUMBERS' GOODS, PDMPS, c
A Bed Noah. '
The Messiah craze among the Indians
of the north, west and northwest re
vives interest in anything that pertains
to the queer delusions and beliefs that
have been rife among the different tribes
for the past century. It is remembered
now that in 1883 the Sanpoels, a small
tribe in what was then Washington ter
ritory, became greatly agitated over the
teachings of an old chief who professed
to believe that another flood was near at
hand. He said that the Great Spirit had
commanded him to collect tribute and
i -i i i. il.i t j . :,3.i I
oulm u i ui wuuiu uu-w whieh ha e n0 and Warranted to giv e Entire Satisfaction or Money Refunded,
waves. His great canoe, 112 by 288 feet. i 6 j a
still to be seen in an unfinished condi- , ' , ,'. . . m. . n
tion near oneof the tribntaries of thai UUlJltJi i&UUM ttllu WflSMllfillill oUctilS, MB UilllCS, UfCPIL
uommDia. at. Liouis ttepuDuc.
We are the Sole Agents for the Celebrated
Trinpl Baiip ani Bamona Cool Stove,
Eighty Days for Eighty Oaths.
Park Wilson, a well known character
about town, was sent to jail by Justice
Hansman, at Chambersburg, Pa., Dec.
10. for eighty days for swearing eighty
profane oaths. Under the Pennsylvania
bine laws act of 1794 the penalty for
profane swearing is sixty-seven cents for
each oath, or in default of payment
thereof one day in jail for each oath.
Wilson would not pay a fine of (57.30
for the oaths indulged in Saturday night. ;
so he went to jail for eighty days. A
conviction under the blue laws is a very
rare occurrence in Pennsylvania. Balti
more American.
A Feat In Photography.
Washington commandery, Knights
Templar, Hartford, have made arrange
ments with a photographer to take an
immense composite photograph of the
members of the commandery. There
will be between three and four hundred
in the photograph, the front ones being
about three-fourths size. The picture
will be oi by 101 feet. It will take about
a year to finish it, and the cost will be
$ 1,000. When completed the photograph
will be placed in the commandery room.
Boston Transcript.
It is said that Marshal Prim was dis
gusted with his portrait on horseback
painted by Henri Regnuult. and asked
the artist why be had made htm look like
a coal heaver. The painter packed np bis
canvas and left for Paris. Prim was as
sassinated and Begnanlt ,was killed by
the Germans before 'Paris. Now the
artists are so fond of the picture that
there was a sensation the other day be
cause it was temporarily absent from, its
place in the Louvre.
A Serious Laughing Matter.
While laujhinz heartily Mrs. John
Patterson, a colored woman of Brazil,
Ind.. runtnred the optic nerve ot one
eye, producing instant Diinoness in max
organ. Physicians say that not a similar
case is recorded in medical anils.--fat-Louis
Globe-Democrat
S I. C. NICKELSEN,
DEALER IS
STATIONERY, NOTIONS,
BOOKS AND MUSIC.
Cor. of TIM and fashinston Sts, - The Dalles, OreiOR.
: For the Best Brands and Purest Quality of Wines and liquors, go to:
J. O. MRCK,
Ul?ole5ale : liquor : Dealer,
r"
117 SECOND ST. THE DALLES, OR.
D. W. EDWARDS,
DEALER IN
Paints, Oils, Glass, Wall Papers, Demra-
tioiis, Artists' Materials, Oil Paintings, Clromos an! Steel Est mm -
Mouldings and Picture Frames, Cornice Poles
Etc., Paper Trimmed Free.
Zioture Framesi Mado to Order..
276 and 278, Second Street, . - - - The Dalles, Or.