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About The Dalles weekly chronicle. (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1947 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 30, 1891)
The Weekly Chronicle.! THE PORTAGE RAILWAY. THE CONCURRENT RESOLUTION. A GRANDFATHER TO HIS WIFE. The Bill m Introduced by Senator Wat- kins for the Construction or the same. FRIDAY, - - LOCAL AND PERSONAL. the dalles, .... - - orego N A Biix, for an act to authorize and empower the governor, secretary of state a rA atatt tronjanrpr rf the fitatA of Ore - JAN. 30. 1891 son. and their successors in office, for, on. and in the name and behalf of the state of Oreeon. to build, construct, oper- ate and maintain a portage railway be tween the hiehest and lowest points of the navaeable waters of the Columbia river at the Cascades, in Oreeon, and be tween the highest and lowest points of the navagable waters of the Columbia river between The Dalles and Celillo, in Oregon, and to build and construct all necessary switches and approaches thereto, and to equip, run, operate and perpetually maintain the same, and to sue for and condemn private property for all necessary purposes in any way connected therewith, and to charge and collect freights and fares thereon, and to appropriate mpnev tneretor. Be it enacted by the LegMatire Assembly of tlie State of Oregon: Section 1. That the governor, secre tarv of state, and state treasurer of the state of Oreeon. and their successors in office be, and they hereby are constituted a board of portage commissioners, with full rower and authority to do and per form all the acts and things hereinafter mentioned, for, in, and on behalt ot said state, and in its name, to-wit : First. To build, construct, run, equip, operate and maintain a portage railway between the nigneat ana lowesipomis oi the navigable waters of the Columbia river, at tne uascaaes, in uregon ; ana also between the highest and lowest points of the navigable waters of said river between The Dalles and Celilo, in uregon, as in tneir juugnient shall be sufficient to meet the demands of transportation at those noints : movided. that said board shall have the right to determine which rail way shall be hrst built. Second. To build and construct all necessary wnarves, swiicnes ana ap proaches to the same : to purchase and provide said roads with all necessary engines and rolling stock, and to pur chase all needful, convenient and neces sary supplies for the successful construc tion, operation and maintenance of the same. Third. For and on behalf of the state, and in its name, to purchase all neces sarv land or rights of way, and for and on behalf of the state and in its name, to condemn by suit or action all neces sary or needful lands or rights of way in the same manner as is proviaea Dy tne laws of this state for the condemnation of lands and rights of way by other cor porations for public use. Fourth. To employ all such aid as may be necessary to build, construct, operate or maintain the same Fifth. To do and perform all other acts necessary or expedient for the sue cessfnl construction, operation or main tenance of said roads, Section 2. Said board shall commence to build.V construct, run, operate and maintain said roads as soon as there are any available funds under the provis ions of this act Section 3. Said board of commission ers, for the purpose of reimbursing the state, and for the purpose of running. operating and maintaining said roads, are hereby authorized and empowered to charge and collect freights and lares on said roads, to be fixed and adjusted by the board ; provided, that all property, or prisoners, or troops, belonging to, or under the control ot the state ot uregon, shall be transported over said road free of charge. Section 4. It shall be the duty of said board to keep suitable books in which shall be entered a correct statement of all freights and passengers transported over said roads, or either of them ; of all moneys paid out, to whom paid and for what purpose ; of all monevs received and from what source ; of all property owned by the state, for the purposes aforesaid, and such books -shall at all reasonable hours be open to the inspec tion of any person. Section o. .Before any person em ployed by said board shall enter upon the discharge of any duty wherein or whereby he shall have the custody or handling of any money, he shall be duly sworn, and execute a bond to tne state of Oregon, to be approved by said board, in any sum not less than two thousand dollars, conditioned to the effect that he will faithfully and honestly discharge the duties of his trust, and account for and pay over all money received by him, or coming into his possession or control. Section b. - It shall be the duty of said board to report to the legislative assem bly of this state biennially everything done or performed by them under this act. Section 7. The freights and fares charged and collected by said board shall be used in running, operating and maintaining said roads, and the surplus shall be paid into the state treasury. section s. That there be and is hereby A Celebrated Case at the Vogt Grand next Tuesday. . Mr. And. Winans and sister Mrs, .Oiler of Hood River are in the city, W. F. McGoven is confined to hia room with an attack of inflammatory rheuma- tism. lne u. K. s JS. Vo. are leveling up ' and putting new ties on the tracks in the shop grounds. Several of oar citizens are at Salem, and wfll give their attention to the portage railroad bill. Wild flowers are plentiful in the . sheltered nooks on the bluff. Not a bad showing for the latter part of January, The property owners on Third street, between Union and Lincoln, are filling and grading it up to correspond with the other parts of the street. Messrs. James Benson, of Goldendale, Robert Rand and John Parker, of Hood - River and E. Husbands, of Mosier, are in the city. A light, but steady and apparently general rain set in Friday last. It was needed by our farmers and is more than welcome. For a lame back, a pain in the side or chest, or for tooth-ache or ear-acne prompt relief may be had by using Cham - berlain's Pain Balm. It is reliable, - For sale by Snipes & Kinersly. Messrs Mosier and Davenport of Mosier, both old timers who came here in the early fifties are in the city to day, and .honored our sanctum with a visit. The land office will no doubt do plenty ' of business in the next few months, There will not be a rush as there was two years ago, but the business of the v office will probably be doubled. Mr. J. H. Mosier Wednesday, while signalling a train fell on the platform, dislocating his shoulder and injuring his right leg. Mr. Davenport reduced, the dislocation and Mr. Mosier while confined to the house is getting along nicely. For a cut, bruise, burn or scald, there is nothing equal to Chamberlain's Pain Balm. It heals the parts more quickly .1 A! iV 1 1 mail Buy uuier uppurauvn, snu unless the injury is very severe, no scar is left, ror sale by Snipes & Kinersly. Garden seeds are exposed for sale in the groceries, and are being sold too, Gardens are being prepared and the hardier vegetables planted. Making garden in January in this latitude seems preposterous but it is nevertheless true, Mr. Robert Mays returned from Salem this morning, and informs us that the appropriation for a ' portage railway at the Cascades is going to meet with con siderable opposition in the house and that it will require attention if the bill is to pass. If you want to get the news before it gets stale subscribe for the Chronicle It will cost you only fifty cents a month to Lave it delivered by the carrier, and it is brimful of news, wisdom and locals, Read it for a month and you will find that you cannot do without it, Several persons applying to locate forfeited land were compelled to take out their first papers in order to do so, though some of them were already naturalized. All those who have their papers should bring them, as it is abso lutely necessary that they be produced The farmers from each side of the Col umbia report the late rain has extended all over the country and should no more rain fall until spring the ground would still be in good condition for the plow, and the early sown grain. The grass is growing finely and already the hills be gin to look green, which is an ' unusual . thing for January .- The latest news from the steamer Baker is that she is standing the severe gales of winter splendidly and up to date has not been injured by ice floes. There is strong probability that if the. present weather holds the management will be unable to decide when winter quits and . spring commences, and she will have to lay up all summer. J. G. Downie has sold his residence near the Christian church to John Cum mine, ana nas announced to have an auction sale of his household goods next Fall Text of the Instrument Introduced in the Senate by Mr. Watfclns. Whereas, The Columbia river, the largest river in the United States ex cept two, is obstructed at the Cascades and The Dalles, for a short distance only, rendering navigation thereof im possible at these points ; and Whebeas, Said river is the dividing line letween two great commercial states, the State of Washington and the State of Oregon, for a distance of three hundred miles; and Whereas, A large scope of productive country in said states larger in area than the states of Delaware, New Jersey, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Vermont, New Hampshire and Massahusetts combined, is dependent upon a single line of railroad to carry all of its vast products to the seaboard and market; and Whereas, In consequence thereof the inhabitants of such territory are now and for a long time prior hereto have been subject to extortionate freight rates and cnarges ; and Whereas, Such line of road is now and has been for at least one year past wholly unable to speedily carry or trans port any considerable amount of the products of said territory, even at the rates charged ; and Whereas, In consequence thereof large quantities of products raised in such territory have been stacked up for months along the line of said road for hundreds of miles, exposed to the elements, awaiting shipment and trans portation; and Whebeas, By jeason thereof great loss and damage has resulted to the produc ers of said section and the development of said states have been and are greatly hindered and delayed thereby ; and Whereas, The locks at the Cascades will evidently not be completed at the present rate of progress for at least fif teen or twenty years, and after they are completed the obstructions in said river at The Dalles will still remain ; and Whabeas, It is possible to success fully builcUand operate portage railways around said obstructions, at no great ex pense, and open up said river to naviga tion for hundreds of miles into the interior at once, to the great and inesti mable advantage and benefit of both states equally ; and Whereas, The Legislative Assembly of the State of Washington is now also in session, now therefore, be it Resolved, By the Senate, the House concurring; l hat there be a joint com mittee, composed of two Senators ap pointed by the president of the senate and three representatives appointed by the Speaker of the House, to meet and confer with a similar committee to be appointed by the Legislative Assembly of the State of Washington, concerning the feasibility, advisability, probability, and propriety of the two States jointly taking hold of and acting together in the construction and operation of portage railways around said obstructions . in said river. Said committee to report to this Legislature at the earliest possible moment the result of such conference; and be it further Resolved, That the Honorable, the Legislative Assembly of the State of Washington be, and it hereby is respect fully and earnestly solicited, requested and invited at as early a day as possible to appoint a similar committee to confer with said committee concerning the matters and things above stated, and for the purposes aforesaid. Such com mittees to meet at such place or places as they may agree upon. And be it further Resolved, That the Secretary of this State be, and he hereby is requested to at once prepare a copy of this resolution and certify the same under his hand and seal and transfer the same to the Legis lative Assembly of the State of Washing ton for their consideration. ' When, to the first fair flush of happy youth, I looked with loving eyes upon thy face. It seemed to me I there could Cad, in truth. The perfect type of beauty and of grace. And as the beus rang out their gladsome chime That day when we were wed, I did not dream That ever, with the mellowing of time. Could that sweet face of thine more lovely seem. Yet, as I see thee now thy crown of white; The glory of the motherhood; the lines Upon thy brow and cheek, marks of time's flight, The many sweetnesses thy life combines Uethinks that in my youth my judgment erred: Despite thy beauty, seeming so benign. This heart of mine has never been so stirred As by the loveliness that now is thine. John Kendrick Bangs in Harper's Weekly. A BACHELOE'S STOEY. BOAT RAILWAY BILL. Present oaturaay. tie will also sell a good cow and ' a quantity of straw. Mr. Downie has concluded to move to The Dalles, and he will be missed here as he has ' been a good citizen and a public spirited man. uoiaenaale aenhnal. - Mr. George Morgan and Col. Nevius have opened an office next door to Bettingen's hardware store, and are prepared to fill out papers and prosecute claims before the land office. Both gentlemen have been clerks in the land office, and are thoroughly posted on all matters pertaining to land office busi ness. The question has been asked, "In what respect are St. Patrick's Pills bet ter than any other?" Try them you will una, in at tney produce a pleasanter ca thartic effect, are more certain in their action, and they not only physic but cleanse the whole system and regulate tne liver ana ooweis. f or sale at 25 cents per box by Snipes & Kinersla. Ed. W. Bingham, who was secretary of the ' Ballot Reform League, writes from Salem, that if the people want the Australian voting system adopted they will have to make their representatives in the legislature know it pretty forcibly, as there is great danger of the bill being killed by having riders put on it. Since Jay Gould has gained possession of the Union Pacific all the white section hands have been discharged and Chinese emyloyed in their places. At this point sixteen white men were employed at an average wage of $1.80 per day. This put in circulation here about $750 per month, which is about $725 more than shows up from the chinamen. Some folks object to convict labor, but for all practical purposes convict labor is no worse for the public than Chinese labor. -The state derives the benefit from the former. the Chinese six companies from the latter and business is not benefitted by either. A prominent physician and old army surgeon in eastern Iowa, was called away from home for 8 few days ; during his absence one of the children contracted a severe cold and his wife bought a bottle of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy lor it. lney were so much pleased with the remedy that they afterwards nsed several bottles at various times, He said, from his experience with it. he regarded it as the most reliable pre paration in use for colds and that it came the nearest being a specific of any medicine he had ever seen.' For sale by Snipes & Kinersly. ' . appropriated out of the general fund of the state of Oregon the sum of sixty thousand dollars from any moneys not otherwise appropriated, for the uses and purposes aforesaid, and the secretary of state be, and he hereby is, authorized to draw his warrant or warrants upon the state treasurer for said sum, or any part thereof, when directed to do so by the board. Section 9. Inasmuch as there is great necessity for said portage railways im mediately, this bill shall be in full force and enect from and after its passage, At the Academy yesterday. The exercises at the Academv vester. day afternoon passed off very pleasantly and reflected great credit upon all the participants. At the close, .Principal In sails spoke of the purpose of the school to the satis--. . i 1 1 - i i i , i , , utn wmi noimng uui tne Dest worx ana invited all friends of the institution not to wait for some special exercises, but to visit classes snd see the ordinary wcrk. lhe programme is given below : 1. Song, America: The School. Recitation, Sandalphon: Miss Anna Taylor. Composition, Memoir : Miss Kona Ruch. Song, Village Bells; The School. Composition, Clouds: Mr. Li men Lee. Recitation, Legend of Bregenz; Miss Luella HcFarland. Composition, Kindness: Miss Katie Martin. Song, Merry Bells: The Young Ladies. Declamation. Mann ion and Douelas: Mr. Albert O'Leary. Composition, A scene from the DesChutes. Miss Emma Roberts. Composition, Cats: Mr. Nello Johnson. Solo with violin accompaniment: Miss Iva Brooks. Recitation, The Statue of Clay: Miss Mavbel Mack. Composition, The Trials of the Student: Mr. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11, 12. 13. 14. Clyde Bonnev. Song, Hear f)om Bells: The School. Recitation, The Legend Beautiful; Miss Ettie Rowe. Declamation, The Independence Bell: Mr. Balfe Johnson. Song, The Red White and Blue: The School. A Chestnut. A Portland special in the Philadelphia Press says : "The citizens' committee, comprising members of the board of trade and Oregon board of immigration, nave raisea a guarantee of ?iuu,uoo for the purpose of starting a democratic daily newspaper in Portland. This guar antee has been given to t rank S. Gray, formerly manager of the New York Mail and Express. The new paper will be tne "rortiana Tribune." Mr. Gray will bring with him an able corps of news paper men from the east. The first number will be issued about March 1st, next. Real Estate Transaction. Jane A. Erwin to Seymour C. Friendly, lots 39 and 40, block 3, Erwin and Wat son's addition to town of Hood River. $15. Same to Otto Mangold, lots 41 and 42. block 3, Erwfn and Watson's addition to the town of Hood River. $15. Band. J. M. Huntington & Co. announce that they are prepared to make out the necessary papers for parties wishing to file on so called railroad land. Aonli. cants should have their papers all ready before going to the land office so an to avoid the rush and save time. Their office is in Opera House Block next to main entrance. Complexion of the Bill In Con gress. Washington, Jan. 24. The Oregon delegation to-day received a communi cation from William Armstrong, a mem ber of of the legislature, asking them to suggest to the legislature what course it should take in reference to the improve ment at The Dalles.' The letter stated that this request was made at the sug gestion of the legislature. The delega tion, after consultation, agreed that each man should write his own individual views. Senators Uolph and Mitchell, being in entire accord, have mailed their opinion, which is as follows : In our opinion there is no chance for the passage of a boat railway bill in the house so amended as to provide for a portage railroad. We do not think con gress will enter upon construction of portage railroads. We do not think a portage road would be an adequate or satisfactory relief to commerce, even could congressional aid be secured for such a road. The commencement of a boat railway, or of a canal and locks, or any other permanent and adequate im provement, would be indefinitely post poned. We believe that at the next session we will be able either to secure an appropriation in a separate bill of an amount sufficient to construct and com plete a boat railway, or otherwise secure a sufficient appropriation in the river and harbor bill to make a substantial commencement of the work of a boat railway. We have exerted and shall continue to exert our best energies, in connection with efforts for appropria tions for other river and harbor im provements in different sections of our state to secure an appropriation for an adequate and permanent improvement at The Dalles of the Columbia. We be lieve after a thorough investigation that the boat railway is, under all the cir cumstances, the proper permanent im- Erovement. we shall feel instructed, owever, in the matter by any resolution psssed by the legislature on the subject, and do not feel at liberty, as the deleg ation is divided in opinion, to make any recommendation as to what the legis lature in our opinion ought to do, further man may be indicated by the foregoing. Should however, the legislature adopt a resolution, fa oring a portage road, the contingency ought to be provided for in the event of the house refusing to consider the pending bill, or should con gress reruse an appropriation tor a por tage road, that the delegation will not feel instructed at another session from attempting to secure an appropriation for a boat railway, both by a separate bill and by an appropriation in the river and harbor bill." The natural accumulation of money is a great deal more rapid than the average person imagines. The legal rate of in terest in New York state is 6 per cent, per annum. If $10,000 were pnt at 6 per cent, interest, and if the interest were compounded semi-annuAlly, the eccum nlation at the end of - twenty-five years would be $43,800. Many of the fortunes in America are the result of investments in lands and enterprises. The country is growing very rapidly, and the increase in the value of land keeps pace with the growth. JXew lork World. I was a bachelor, not wealthy, but contented and happy. 1 am still a bachelor, contented but not happy. This is the difference between Thomas Growler of a month ago and the same person today. But one short month ago 1 thought nothing of matrimony. I smoked my pipe in comfort at my lodg ings (in the city of Canterbury)-or sewed refractory buttons upon my clothing without a thought of any female to take that employment ont of my hands. But I was one day seated in the beauti ful grounds of the Dane John, watching the children drinking at the fountain, when a shadow fell upon the path. It might have been the shadow of coming events, but upon looking around I per ceived that the substance was a very beautiful young lady, with roguish blue eyes that might have been the head quarters of fun and good humor, looking at me from a frame of golden ringlets. Now, you need not imagine that I, sober gentleman of 40, was in love with a girL Nothing of the kind. She was at least 30, and a ragged little boy who stood near, whose tongue I loosened with a piece of silver, told me that she was a widow, who owned a small farm outside the town, and that her name was Mrs. Faber. He also informed me that her brother lived with her and managed the property. Upon the following morning I greatly surprised my friend, Harry Powers, by praising the Widow JFaber, and request ing an introduction. He gazed at me a moment in speechless astonishment, and I think that he really thought of knock ing me down with Webster's Dictionary and calling for assistance. But Harry was engaged himself, and soon compre hended . the state of affairs. So he dropped the book upon the table and in vited me to a picnic which was to take place in the woods in a few days, where I should meet the lady and be intro duced. I immediately purchased a new suit of clothes, a beautiful wig and a pair of tight boots, and when the morning of the festival dawned crowded myself into the broadcloth, put on my wig, and after much preparation and strong lan guage had been wasted managed to squeeze my feet into the patent leathers, where they felt as if incased in red hot iron boots. At the picnic I received the promised introduction, and had the pleasure of es corting Agnes all day. She talked with me, and we attacked the eatables in company, investigating the interior of pigeon pies and dissecting chickens to gether. I was happy all day, and when at parting she invited me to visit her I believe the tightness of my waistcoat was all that prevented my heart from bursting its bonds. My feet prevented me from sleeping that night, but I was willing to suffer in such a cause, and 1 bore it without a murmur. One day I hired a horse and gig at the livery stable, and started toward the farm to carry Agnes to a party at a neighboring town. She wa already dressed when I drove up, and looked beautiful in a new bonnet and shawL We were very comfortable, and our con versation was very interesting. 1 was advancing rapidly in her good opinion. and was beginning to think seriously of popping the question, when the horse stopped suddenly as if turned to stone. We both tumbled suddenly forward with a low bow, ana my companion s lovely nose came into sharp contact with the dashboard. - I immediately jumped out to see what was the matter, but everything about the horse appeared to be all right, and 1 again climbed into the gig and prepared to start. But the horse obstinately re fused to move. 1 coaxed and nattered, but he would not be persuaded. 1 thrashed him with the whip until my wrist ached, but he remained immova ble as a statue. At last i snarpened a hedge stake, took my seat, gave the reins to my companion and gave him a tremendous blow. I hardly hoped to see him stir, but he did, and started with a leap that almost threw me on my back. I immediately seized the reins, but his determination had taken another chan nel, and he would not stop. I tugged at the reins and shouted, "Whoa!" but he held the bit between his teeth and rushed along the road like a runaway comet Agnes screamed ana i roared as we dashed by the farm houses with the speed of a locomotive. The horse's heels splintered the dashboard at every leap, and the bright shoes twinkled like small stars in dangerous proximity to our eyes. Finally the wheels struck a tree, the horse stumbled and the next moment I was lying upon my back in the road. Feeling like an exhausted bellows Ire gained my breath and picked myself up after a while, bat what a situation! Agnes lying upon the grass, with torn clothing and disordered hair, while her chignon was rolling along the pathway pursued by a terrier. The horse stood quite still and gazed calmly upon the ruins. I was without hat, covered with dust. The boys shouted boisterously, and the com pany, who perceived that we were unin jured, laughed. I could have jumped into the river to hide myself, and I en tertained serious ideas of running away, but I thought better of it and assisted Agnes to arise. It cost me a heavy sum for the wrecked gig. I was scratched and discouraged. Agnes had turned the cold shoulder and I was in despair, but I wrote her a letter explaining matters and begging to be again taken into favor. I was overjoyed to receive an encouraging reply. She forgave me and would not give me up, but her brother was very angry and would not permit her to see me. If I would come upon the following evening to the farm I could reach her window by means of the grapevine, and we could think the matter over. This letter cheered me up wonderfully, and when the clock struck 9 upon the following night I walked gayly to the farm, passed around to the rear and per ceived a white figure at the window. A large dog, which was fastened in a kennel under the window, threatened to raise an alarm, but a few words from Agnes quieted him. I clambered up the vine and was soon at her side. I was so hap py that the grapevine might have been the ladder to paradise. Agnes was for giving and lovely, and we conversed for half an hoar without a thought of the lower world, I was calmly gazing at the farm which would soon be my own when I heard the door open. Upon turning I saw the ob noxious brother standing in the doorv way, with a very suspicious whip in bis hand. He looked angry, and I imme diately comprehended his purpose. It was not in human nature to remain quiet, and when he sprang, toward me with an angry howl I answered with yell, and springing through the window began slipping down the vine. I would no donbt have made a master ly retreat, but I was but a few feet from the top when the brother cut the fasten ings with his knife, and the vine and myself fell together. Unfortunately dropped upon the roof of the kennel. The roof, not being able to hold showers of fallen humanity, gave way, and tumbled directly into the jaws of the bulldog. The jaws, with a howl, fast ened upon my leg, and for a moment there was a terrible battle between us. At last the dog unfastened to take fresh bite, and I took advantage for the moment to get away; but my enemy again fastened upon my coat tails, and as I could not drag dog and kennel over the fence I was unable to move. The dog pulled one way and I the other, and for a while the issue was very doubtful, but I caught a glimpse of one of the farm laborers advancing with pitchfork and gave a desperate jerk. was too much for the strongest of cloth. and, leaving the torn portion in the dog's possession, I bounded away toward the barnyard fence. But I discovered in time that I was charging upon the couched pitchfork of the servant, and, turning quickly to the right, took a flying leap over the garden walL Unluckily I at tempted to fly without wings; my feet caught in the stones and I turned somersault into the garden. Instead of falling upon the grass dived headforemost into a straw bee hive. The beehive wtent over on the ground and I followed; but the bees were the first to pick themselves up. and when 1 arose upon my feet there was a whole colony ready to settle upon me. They swarmed in my hair, and crawled under my clothing until I was frantic. The more 1 stamped and beat and raved, the more they stung me. At last I gave a stamp of tremendous force; my tight patent leathers burst, and just as my feet protruded at the sides 1 stepped in the overturned hive. I might as well have stepped in the fire; the little tor mentors stung my feet, and 1 danced likeaa bear upon hot plates and for the same reason. I was still wildly beating the air, when I perceived all the farm servants, whom my shouts had aroused, charging in body. They shouted "Thief," and flour ished their weapons and 1 began to think of leaving that neighborhood in a hurry Bnt I was determined upon revenge. 1 could not be stung any worse than was; so 1 grasped the hive that stood upon the bench and hurled it into the crowd 1 had the pleasure of seeing it drop upon the brother's head like a huge hat, and to see the individual throw it off and roll upon the ground in anguish. I never derived so much pleasure from hearirfg a person swear before. I could hear my pursuers breathing hard near me, and expected every mo ment to feel the spikes of the pitchfork behind, when 1 stumbled over a stone and fell headlong into the river. The men behind, unable to check themselves. followed, and the next moment we were all struggling in the water. It was not deep, and was the best acci dent that could have happened to me, as it rid me of the bees. I soon arose and scrambled up the steep bank, where 1 stood to look around. In one place a head appeared above the water; in an other a pair of feet kicked in the air. without any visible owner. Hats, pitch forks and men were mixed in a confused heap, while all plunged and puffed like a shoal of porpoises. Although I was smarting with pain the scene was too ludicrous to be gazed on with a sober countenance, and I laughed until I could roar no longer. But when 1 reached my rooms I did not feel so well. I knew that I had lost Agnes forever, besides the heavy sum for the gig and the new suit. My face was swelled for many days, and I could not leave the house. To be sure, some of the neighbors had witnessed the battle, and when it was shown how I had punished them I was quite a hero among my friends. Praise, however, did not replace the missing money, and Agnes would not speak to me in the street. So I was wretched. I am now a confirmed bachelor, and I look with a thankful heart upon the chaos of bootjacks and boots in my room without the least desire to change my condition. I look upon all widows as attractive destroyers, and my experience has been such as to confirm my hatred of the sex. Of course all who think dif ferent are welcome to be fettered, but if I was to choose between . hanging and winning a widow I would select the least of the evils, and patronize the ex ecutioner. - Agnes is still a widow, and her brother is married and 1 hear, with grim satisfaction, that he is henpecked. New York World Excessively Polite. It is well tor be always polite, but there are times when it is better to be natural than to attempt the elaboration of social courtesies. The safest rule in any case is to be simple and do the obvious thing; this will not only be most sincere, but will often save one from appearing ridic ulous. " A gentlemen who wished to give pleas ure to a young lady of his acquaintance, A-'iss Mott, arranged a boating party in her, honor. The guests were chosen with her approval and everything was done to her liking. Unfortunately the wind proved treach erous, and about the middle of the day the party found themselves becalmed on a sea which rose and fell in the long ground swell that is sure to prove too much for all but experienced sailors. It was not long before most of the party were ill, Miss Mott being one of the first to succumb. She lay in a wretched heap ou the deck of the yacht, refusing to be moved, her hair in disarray and her whole appearance that of' unutter able misery. "I am so sorry that you are ill, Miss Mott," the host said. "When I wish to give you pleasure again I will not pro pose a water party." With a supreme effort Miss Mott raised her ghastly face, about which the hair straggled, wet with the sweat of agony. An attempt at a smile showed itself on her white lips. Oh, I am having a perfectly lovely time, she said feebly. The earnestness with which she spoke was too much for the gravity of her companions and, sick or well, they burst into a laugh, which so overcame Miss Mott that she fell to weeping bitter tears. Youth's Companion. Tipping is Economical to Oinen. Systematic tipping of waiters pays. A tap here and there by the occasional pa tron or restaurants is simply generosity. The regular tipping of one waiter at one restaurant, however, is great economy, When the waiter is sure of the tip the service is much better, and there are possibilities in an a la carte order which only the well trained and well tipped waiter knows. ' , Go to your regular restaurant with a friend, and if your purse is small order a one portion dinner. There will be a few extra oysters, a larger tureen of soup, the roast will be in two generous slices. just enough for two throughout. Now give your waiter a double tip, and the next time you ask a friend to dinner you win be treated like lords. New York Telegram. i HE LOVERS LITANY. Eyes of gray a sodden quay. Driving: rain and falling tears. As the steamer wears to sea In a parting storm of cheers. Sing, for faith and hope are high; Kone so true as yon and L Sins the Lovers1 Litany: "Love like ours can never die!" Eyes of black a throbbing keel. Milky foam to left and right; Whispered converse near the wheel In the brilliant tropic night. Cross that rules the southern sky. Stars that sweep and wheel and fly. Hear the Lovers1 Litany: "Love like ours can never die!" Eyes of brown a dusty plain Split and parched with heat of June; Flying hoof and tightened rein; Hearts that beat the old, old tuna. Side by side the horses fly; Frame we now the old reply Of the Lovers' Litany: "Love like ours can never dier Eyes of blue the Simla hills Silvered with the moonlight hoar; Pleading of the waltz that thrills. Dies and echoes round Benmor. "MabeV "Officers," "Good-by," Glamour, wine and witchery On my soul's sincerity "Love like ours can never die I" Maidens, of your charity Pity my most luckless stats. Four times Cupid's debtor I Bankrupt in quadruplicate. Tet despite this evil case, An a maiden showed me grace, Four and forty times would I Sing the Lovers' Litany: "Love like ours can never dier New York Herald. HOHTH DflLtLtES, Wash. wThe Largest in the West. The New Boot and Shoe FACTORY. Fnrnitire Ifj. Wire Works. Man- (Meal NEW BRIDGE. Several Fine Cottars. fleai Railroad Interstate Investment Co., 72 Washington St., PORTLAtfV Or. O. D. TAYLOR, THE DALLES, Or. In the last two weeks large sales of lots have been made at Portland, Tacoma, Forest Grove, McMinnville and The Dalles. All are satisfied that North Dalles Is now the place for investment. New ufactories are to be added and large improve- I ments made. The next 90 days will be im portant ones for this new citjv Call at the office of the Or -: DEALERS IN Queer Contents of His Brala. . Alliance, Box Butte county. Neb., fur nishes a case for surgeons and scientists to study over. Sunday Adelbert Higby, a hoy, 16 years of age, residing in that place, was out hunting with a rusty old shotgun. The gun exploded, striking the hoy in the forehead just above the right eye, crushing the skull. Through the aid of a companion who was with him the lad was taken home and Dr. W EL Smith was summoned. At 6i g'at of the wound the doctor was surprised to find the boy alive, but judge of his amazement when, probing the wound, he found an old rusty screw that had been in the stock imbedded fully an inch and a half in the brain. Further probing brought to light two pieces of the boy's hat brim and four pieces of the skull bone, the largest of which was nearly the size of a silver dollar. In the operation the doctor also found it neces sary to remove about half an ounce of the brain itself. It is something no surgical authority has recorded as possi ble. Bnt here it is proved. The injured boy has been conscious ever since the accident, and nnless blood poisoning sets in he stands every chance of recovering. St. Joseph News. Siapie and Fancy Gfocenes. Hay, Grain and Feed. Cheap Express Wagons' flos. 1 and 2. Orders left at the Store willjreceive prompt attention. Trunks and Packages delivered to any part of the City. ! Wagons always on hand when Trains or Boat arrivei. No. 122 Cor. Washington and Third. Sts. Grandall 6V Baroet, The Kindly Mastiff Spoke for Ber. That was a fine passage between the executive of Kentucky and the wife of the condemned man, who went to Frank fort Friday to ask for a pardon. She had presented her papers and sat breath less while the arbiter of her fate perused them; and, as she waited, a mastiff, the playmate of the governor's little son a beast not given to strangers uncoiled himself from the rug, where he had been lving, and came up in that friendly way which only dogs know how to affect. with perfect sincerity, and, seeing sus pense and pain in the agitated features of the poor woman, he put his paws gently upon her knees and began to lick her hands. The governor finished the papers, and the petitioner was. about to speak when the grim old soldier said: "It is not necessary, madam; the dog has spoken for you, and straightaway signed the document which was to re lease a dying man from prison and en able him to go to his grave from his own home. Louisville Couner-J oumal. MANUFACTURERS AND DEALERS IN FURNITURE CARPETS. Undertakers and Embalmers. NO. 166 SECOND STREET. H. Herbring. Dealer in The Path of Storms. A method is now on trial at the mete orological office at Stockholm which seems likely to throw some light on a subject which hitherto has been attend ed with much uncertainty, namely, the determination of the path taken by storms. From the telegraphic weather re ports tables of the density of the atmos phere have been constructed, and other data have been collected which have been embodied in special charts. These charts are found to give much more reliable clew to tne movements and origin of cyclones than the usual method of the comparison of isobars and isotherms alone. The latest investiga tions show that storms move in the di rection of the warmest and dampest air. parallel to the lines of equal density leaving the rarer air to the right hand. New lork Commercial Advertiser. FANCY.GOODS AND NOTIONS, v CLOTHING, HATS AND CAPS, Boots and Shoes eto. PRICES LOW AND CASH ONLY. FISH St BHRDON, ' DEALERS TlsT Stoves, faraaees, rjanges, PLUMBERS' GOODS, PDMPS, c A Bed Noah. ' The Messiah craze among the Indians of the north, west and northwest re vives interest in anything that pertains to the queer delusions and beliefs that have been rife among the different tribes for the past century. It is remembered now that in 1883 the Sanpoels, a small tribe in what was then Washington ter ritory, became greatly agitated over the teachings of an old chief who professed to believe that another flood was near at hand. He said that the Great Spirit had commanded him to collect tribute and i -i i i. il.i t j . :,3.i I oulm u i ui wuuiu uu-w whieh ha e n0 and Warranted to giv e Entire Satisfaction or Money Refunded, waves. His great canoe, 112 by 288 feet. i 6 j a still to be seen in an unfinished condi- , ' , ,'. . . m. . n tion near oneof the tribntaries of thai UUlJltJi i&UUM ttllu WflSMllfillill oUctilS, MB UilllCS, UfCPIL uommDia. at. Liouis ttepuDuc. We are the Sole Agents for the Celebrated Trinpl Baiip ani Bamona Cool Stove, Eighty Days for Eighty Oaths. Park Wilson, a well known character about town, was sent to jail by Justice Hansman, at Chambersburg, Pa., Dec. 10. for eighty days for swearing eighty profane oaths. Under the Pennsylvania bine laws act of 1794 the penalty for profane swearing is sixty-seven cents for each oath, or in default of payment thereof one day in jail for each oath. Wilson would not pay a fine of (57.30 for the oaths indulged in Saturday night. ; so he went to jail for eighty days. A conviction under the blue laws is a very rare occurrence in Pennsylvania. Balti more American. A Feat In Photography. Washington commandery, Knights Templar, Hartford, have made arrange ments with a photographer to take an immense composite photograph of the members of the commandery. There will be between three and four hundred in the photograph, the front ones being about three-fourths size. The picture will be oi by 101 feet. It will take about a year to finish it, and the cost will be $ 1,000. When completed the photograph will be placed in the commandery room. Boston Transcript. It is said that Marshal Prim was dis gusted with his portrait on horseback painted by Henri Regnuult. and asked the artist why be had made htm look like a coal heaver. The painter packed np bis canvas and left for Paris. Prim was as sassinated and Begnanlt ,was killed by the Germans before 'Paris. Now the artists are so fond of the picture that there was a sensation the other day be cause it was temporarily absent from, its place in the Louvre. A Serious Laughing Matter. While laujhinz heartily Mrs. John Patterson, a colored woman of Brazil, Ind.. runtnred the optic nerve ot one eye, producing instant Diinoness in max organ. Physicians say that not a similar case is recorded in medical anils.--fat-Louis Globe-Democrat S I. C. NICKELSEN, DEALER IS STATIONERY, NOTIONS, BOOKS AND MUSIC. Cor. of TIM and fashinston Sts, - The Dalles, OreiOR. : For the Best Brands and Purest Quality of Wines and liquors, go to: J. O. MRCK, Ul?ole5ale : liquor : Dealer, r" 117 SECOND ST. THE DALLES, OR. D. W. EDWARDS, DEALER IN Paints, Oils, Glass, Wall Papers, Demra- tioiis, Artists' Materials, Oil Paintings, Clromos an! Steel Est mm - Mouldings and Picture Frames, Cornice Poles Etc., Paper Trimmed Free. Zioture Framesi Mado to Order.. 276 and 278, Second Street, . - - - The Dalles, Or.