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About The nugget. (Sisters, Or.) 1994-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 9, 2019)
Wednesday, October 9, 2019 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon In the PINES By T. Lee Brown Whose truth? After I used the term <my truth= in a column, a reader sent thoughtful feedback: <I9ve heard this in the news and on TV ads in vari- ous forms 4 their truth, my truth, her truth, etc.,= Lisa wrote in an email. <I9m being honest here that my first emotional response is kinda angry& I9m wondering if you can educate an older, maybe more traditional lady like me on what the younger folk mean when they use 8my truth.9= Since she also wrote, <I absolutely loved your col- umn today! Well said!= she totally had my attention. (Insert smiley emoji here.) It seems to me the term <my truth= describes some- one9s personal story and the feelings they have about that story, in a situation where the story is unwelcome or socially out-of-bounds 4 where stories similar to it have been ignored, sup- pressed, and repressed for years, sometimes millennia. It comes out when people like the storyteller4who share a certain gender, race, ability, or some other charac- teristic4haven9t had much leverage in society. Real risk is required, in addition to vulnerable self-revelation. A more powerful person could express themselves without worrying that they9d lose their job, lower their social status, or inspire violence against their person. <I have a story, I have feelings, and I9m scared of expressing them4but I9m gonna do it because I9m tired of people like me hid- ing in the closet!= When you get to that sensation, you9re getting to my-truth territory, particularly if the storyteller comes from a group of peo- ple who9ve been trapped in closets, corsets, or ghettoes for centuries. Imagine a woman in the early 1960s revealing that she can9t stand being con- fined to a homemaking role and subservient to her hus- band. She might find her family shunned from local activities, the kids not invited to birthday parties, their dad hassled at work. Similar snubs still happen today. And studies show that women who express their feelings and opinions are routinely perceived as shrewish, denied promotions at work, lose elections to men. The message is pretty clear: shut up, ladies. My original column men- tioned a male executive at a business dinner, discussing female employees and saying dismissively, <Too bad about the hormones.= The industry in question was the dude- dominated world of heavy equipment, and gathered around our table at the steak- house were several white men in positions of power, plus me. Would that executive9s comment count as a my- truth? After all, he was airing what he truly felt. I9m gonna say: Nope. He spent his life being able to say stuff like that without repercussion. As a white, cisgendered, male colleague of mine men- tioned recently, many men may feel under attack when their society starts changing and they9re asked to think about what they say. As a white woman who9s spent decades slowly getting a clue as to how much privi- lege comes with my skin color, I acknowledge their discomfort. <Whoa, I used to be able to say whatever I wanted, and now I can9t do it without getting pushback,= might sometimes count as a my-truth. If our steakhouse table had included Becky 4 the only parts-woman I ever saw in anybody9s shop or ware- house 4 talking about the harassment she suffered in her job for decades, that9d qualify as more than the average story or opinion. She9d be telling her truth. The lone female diner who actually was at that steakhouse did not express her truth, as described in my previous column. Writing to you here in The Nugget about my shame and frustration, years later? That9s my truth. I9ve followed many oth- ers9 truths in these pages: local folks dying of cancer, nurturing their beehives and Scottie dogs, surviv- ing assault and transforming their trauma. The willing- ness to share each other9s intimate, meaningful stories is something I enjoy and respect about The Nugget and our community. Is there any risk involved? Sure. I9ve been subjected to gossip, scorn, and petty sabotage because of what I write here; I9ve heard such talk about other columnists, too. One friend of the liberal- progressive persuasion said, <I9m worried that people are using you as a scapegoat.= Well, that9s how it goes. 15 If I tell my truth, I have to accept the consequences of not shutting the heck up like a good girl. The phrase itself, <my truth,= has garnered a smarmy, trendy feel. Lisa9s response to it is understand- able. After typing it so many times for this column, I may retire it from my vocabulary for good. But I do think the term is struggling to express something important: The truth isn9t a tall, unassail- able tower. It9s more like a swooping flock of birds, swirling and hunting and migrating, separating and coming together again. Our perspectives on real- ity are formed by our fami- lies, personal experiences, belief systems, and the media we consume. If our flock is to share a collective truth, perhaps we must first bear witness to the individual songs of birds long silenced. Dan & Julia Rickards invite you to visit Clearwater Gallery Saturday, October 12 at 10 a.m. “Adventure on Wonderland” — Rainier National Park Complimentary print of Dan’s newest painting to the fi rst 150 people. Dan Rickards will be at the gallery on Saturday at 10 a.m. to individually sign each print until they have all been given away. Limit one per family, please. Clearwater Gallery will be off ering special framing package pricing and a limited giclée edition on canvas in conjunction with the new release. We look forward to seeing you. 303 W. Hood Ave., Sisters • 541-549-4994 • theclearwatergallery.com • danrickards.com
