The nugget., May 31, 2017, Page 17, Image 17

Wednesday, May 31, 2017 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
17
Commentary...
How to rock the roundabout
By Kim Hapke
Columnist
As the roundabout project
comes closer to completion
I wanted to say a few words
on the project. My motivation
stems from an enthusiasm
for the project which I have
found to be unmatched and
also as your resident naturo-
path, a few words on a public
health concern.
First, my enthusiasm,
which stems in part from me
residing “left” of many of the
local shops in town. This left
is often executed in the sum-
mer as a right turn, then a left,
left, left and finally a right
again before I can get out of
town. The idea that I can now
turn right out of some places
and boomerang around the
roundabout to head home fills
me with such a level of joy I
am now questioning some of
my other life choices.
My enthusiasm has roots,
too, in my constant fear of
making mistakes. It is nearly
impossible to make a mis-
take in the roundabout. Miss
your turn? Unlike in life,
the opportunity will be there
again. Indeed, I expect to
meet my soul-mate this way,
by missing my turn, going
around again, deciding we
have enough milk till tomor-
row, thinking I left something
important in town, remem-
bering it was my kid, and
slowly becoming aware the
car in front of me has gone
around at least four times,
too. A wedding between two
such indecisive souls seems
unlikely, but if there was
such a thing I would want it
to make use of the symbolic
meaning of the circle-unity
and have the wedding in the
center of the roundabout.
Unlike some, my enthu-
siasm is not dimmed by fear.
People have tried to make me
fear the roundabout — hav-
ing me picture trucks stall-
ing and blocking traffic for
miles, or envisioning folks
incapable of understanding
what a roundabout is and
sailing through the middle of
it. It used to be outside my
comprehension that someone
could not know what some-
thing was when its name is
such an apt description of
itself. (It’s a circle! And you
go around it!) But so many
things have been outside my
comprehension lately that I
am now truly aware of what
a finite resource it is.
So, the reason for my lack
of fear is not naïve trust in my
fellow human, but the simple
fact that I have faced some-
thing MUCH WORSE. A
few years ago the department
of transportation in my home
state of Minnesota graced
the freeway exit a quarter
mile from my parents’ house
with a two-headed wonder
— a double roundabout! Two
roundabouts linked together
figure-eight style to accom-
modate two freeway exits,
two freeway on-ramps, a
frontage road, and two other
roads. Just for the hell of it
they added a bike lane to the
whole thing. If you are won-
dering why you have never
heard of this it is because
Minnesotans are a modest
people.
Now Minnesota is not
nearly as flat and empty
as people who have never
been there assume it is, but
it still is a place where one
can drive long distances and
not have to go around any-
thing. So this double round-
about came as quite a shock
to most people’s systems.
Minnesotans are by nature
stoic, so I can tell you that a
look on a newbie’s face gave
away what a huge leap this
feature was to the general
population. For those of you
who don’t know what expres-
sion to put on your face the
first time through our round-
about I offer two prompts:
1. You are the captain of a
ship entering a mighty storm.
You have just watched a ship
break up on the reef in front
of you. The crew is depend-
ing on you. Plus you don’t
want them to know you can’t
swim. You take a firmer
grip on the wheel and
enter the heart of
the storm.
2 . Yo u
have just
had a
glimpse
of some-
thing ineffable.
It is wonderful,
it is terrible. It may
be the face of God.
Whatever happens, you
will be profoundly changed.
The car is carrying you
deeper into the mystery.
Most of the Minnesotans
emerged stronger from this
experience, as did I. I did
promise a cautionary tale,
though, in the interest of
public health. There has
been only one accident in the
double roundabout. A per-
son entered the roundabout,
missed their turn and pro-
ceeded to rectify their mis-
take by BACKING UP their
car to the missed turn. This is
in direct violation of round-
about protocol and indeed
of natural law. And just like
when the law of gravity gets
flouted, the winner was not
the flouter. He was instantly
and soundly rear-ended. Not
too badly. It’s a roundabout!
Things happen slowly there,
but just like in life, you can
never go back.
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