Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Athena press. (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 6, 1907)
He Toned the Joke. A well-known professor often became bo interested In his subject that when the noon bell rang he seemed quite oblivious of the fact and kept the class for several minutes. Certain restless spirits among the students decided to give him a gentle hint, 60 they bought an alarm clock. The clock, set to alarm at precisely 12 o'clock, was placed on the profes sor's desk. As was anticipated, he be gan his lecture without observing the clock. But when the noon hour struck, the alarm went off with a startling crash. Even those not In the secret appre ciated the Joke. There was a round of applause. The professor smilingly waited until the alarm and the ap plause ceased, and' then said : "Young gentlemen, I thank you for this gift I had forgotten It was my birthday. An alarm clock Is something my wife has needed for our domestic for a long time. It Is a very kind re membrance on your part." Then he went on with the demon stration which had been interrupted by the alarm, and the students were never quite able to satisfy themselves wheth er the professor understood the joke or not. A Warning, Three little boys in a rowboat, And only room for two Boat upset and they get wet, And didn't know what to dol One cried : "Oh, my mamma !" Then waded straight to shore. The other two did likewise, And I saw the three no more. Bo to a Goose. It is sometimes said of a timid per son, "He looks as If he couldn't say Bo to a, goose." Did you ever hear how the expression originated? It may be found, perhaps, In the story of Bo, a great captain and a fierce one, who was son to Odin, in the mythology of the North. His name was used by his Boldiers to frighten the enemy? They tell a good story of Ben Johnson, the poet,' in connection with the "Bo" say ing. He was Introduced to a Lord Somebody or other, and the nobleman was so much surprised at the homely appearance of the poet that he said: "What? Are you Ben Jonson? You look as If you could not say Bo to a goose!" "Bo!" said Jonson, making a bow to his lordship. Dandy and Laddie. Dandy and Laddie were collie dogs and brothers, and they were owned by brothers, too, farmers up In New Hamp shire. Their farms adjoined and the farmers pastured their stock in com mon. The dogs visited each other fre quently and were great friends. One day, when Laddie was gnawing a bone at Dandy's, a pet kitten belonging to Dandy's family came near, and Laddie snapped at her. Dandy Instantly flew at hla throat, and they had a hot fight before they could be separated. It Is aald that neither dog never crossed the boundary line between the two farms after that Laddie daily drove his flock of sheep down the lane until he reached the dividing wall, where Dan dy solemnly took charge and drove them to pasture. At night uanay brought bacle the sheep, and Laddie would be waiting for them at the reg ular place. Not once, after their fight did they take the slightest notice of each other. Cocoa-Vat Clock. In Malay, the natives used to keep record of time in the following way: Floating In a bucket filled with wa-t-r thpv traced a cocoa-nut shell, hay ing a small perforation through which by alow degrees, the water found ita wax inside. This opening waa to pro- portioned that It took Jnst one hour for the shell to fill and sink. Then a watchman called out; the shell was emptied and they began again. Such trifles as minutes and seconds were not heeded on the peninsula. J raney any one asking the time in Malay and being told that the cocoa nut shell was half full ! There wag a young girl of Malay, Who inquired the time of the day. Said the watchman : "Well, well, By my cocoa-nut shell, TIs half-after noon, I should say." Smart Willie. "It is said that Mr. Wilkins Fired his house that he might get The insurance that was on it," Mamma said to pa. "And yet," Chimed in Willie, young, untutored, "'Twas a foolish thing to do. If there was insurance on it. It has all been burned up, too.".' LINCOLN'S ASSASSINATION. The Long Mght of "Black Friday" In the War Telegraph Offices. I remember the long night of Friday, April 14, that black day, In our coun try's history when the hate and cruel ty embodied In four years of bloody civil war culminated In one stroke of madness, aimed at the. life of one who himself had only "charity for alt," with "'malice toward none." . Although I was on duty in the cipher room that evening, I have no. distinct remem brance of anything that occurred prior to the moment when some one rushed into the office with blanched face, say ing: "There is a rumor below that President Lincoln has been shot in Ford's Theater." Before we could fully take In the awful import, other rumors' reached us, horror following fast upon horror; the savage attack upon Secre tary Seward, and the frustrated efforts to reach and kill Vice President John son, Secretary Stanton and other mem bers of the government. As the suc cessive accounts crystaljzed, a fearful dread filled our hearts, lest it should be found that the entire cabinet had been murdered. An hour of this awful suspense, and then we received word from Ma J. Eckert, who. had gone quick ly to Secretary Stanton's house In K street, and from there with the Secre tary to the house on 10th street, oppo site the theater, to which the President had been carried after having been shot by John Wilkes Booth. This mes sage merely assured us of the present safety of Stanton, while confirming our worst fears concerning the President. A relay of mounted messengers was at once established by Maj. Eckert, and all night, long they carried bulletins In the handwriting of Secretary Stanton addressed to Gen. Dix, New York City, which, were at once given to the press and sent over the wires .throughout the country. , As these bulletins were spell ed out In the Morse telegraph charac ters our hearts were stunned and yet seemed to be on fire. The awfulness of the tragedy hushed us into silence. As the hours slowly passed, hope revived fitfully as some sentence offered faint encouragement that the precious life might, perhaps, be spared to complete Its chosen work; but at about 7:30 a. m., April 15, the tension gave away and we knew that our beloved President was gone from us forever. PRETTY EPISODE OF THE BOEDEK Opera . Singer En Rente to Mexico Charms Oillclals with Her Voice. Miss Matilde de Lerma, the singer who is to be the star of the next grand opera season at the Arbeu, has been in Mexico for the past three days with her mother, In strict incognito, aceord- t A- 1UA lr,1Vl Jill Tl T I .1 f.l 1 .1 ,ug i ( She came from Madrid via New York , . j t i j I auu luw- "v American metropolis. She hurried to II ! .... ,. ,un XTatlnnnl Vi n rr fhdf jueiu.0 , luc .., i-.--a she was late, as her con ract requested her to start from Spain In the last week of July. She was the victim of thieves in her trip over the National. She did not wife any one and she found herself alone and, helpless in a : foreign country, which she never had . visltod before. At Laredo, on the Mexican border, her baggage was Inspected and the of-1 flclals wanted her to pay duty on her j jewels and furs. She claimed that she posltion or happens to be an humble was an opera singer in this country for working Woman. Mothers are frankly only a few weeks and that the duty w,mng t0 adm)t tueir personal mortlfl. was unjust. The official did not give catlon8 over thls mtLttet, and quite as much credit to her claim, because opera , frank,y expreM Tneir indignation at singers seldom travel alone. The mat-1 the posltlon thelr daughters have plac ter seemed difficult to solve, when Miss thgm ,n and are aghast at the de Lerma started to sing some high pr0gres3 made ln the evolution of this notes, going up as far as A sharp, and unloveIy flnd unnatural characteristic. every one present in iae eutuou ap plauded her. The officials were con vinced in this way that Miss de Lerma is a great singer. And Indeed she Is. Though still in her 20's, she Is considered the great est opera singer of Spain. Last November she was asked by King Alfonso of Spain to appear at the royal palace for the purpose of being introduced to Queen Victoria. Miss de Lerma says that she was really charmed by the grace and distinction of the. queen. She sang before her and . was presenteu wuu a uroocu vi diamonds, which she considers one of her most valuable Jewels. Soccess. The Youth Yes, I'm ln business foi i Kf T rtnn'fr Rwm tn h nha tn ' Iiijueii, uul - meet with any success. The Sago No- body ever meets with success, young man. He must overtake It but 6 0ne bHf w, do A Nam. to Salt th. c a. maQy washings. As soon as the turn--Why do you can your dog Ham- oven are removed take to wash- ' I 1 .lAmrtAr, a rift Artnn Ttsi 1 ( tr a.4 let?" "Because be is a Great Dane," Bai tlmore American. ; A man can afford to love an enemy 4a m nttle water. Blnae them thor wnoa he u a a doormat " What'a a Popular Woman f A woman can not be said to be truly attractive or popular unless she is loved and admired by the members of her own as well as the opposite sex. She must be welcomed by all, old and young, male and female, or she can not be called an attractive woman without reservation. She must be herself, her best self, at all times and with all people; she must think and act for herself, and ex press her own opinions, rather than try to copy some person she may admire, or who is admired by the icrds of crea tion. Individuality, when combined with polite manner and tact, Is always at tractive. A woman's happy. Infectious laugh Is better than medleln' r ad vice, and her cheery presence is al ways welcome as the sunshine. A girl, to be truly popular, never says mean things about other girls, think ing that the men will like her better, and she doesn't try to monopolize the attentions of all the men at once, but Is willing to let other girls have their share of admiration and attention along with her. She doesn't mope and re treat, within herself If there are no men about to advise her, but she cheer fully sets about making the best of mat ters without them, and making such companions as she has happier and brighter for her presence. If she has a grievance she keeps it to herself, for a woman with a grievance Is very soon voted a bore. The weep ing, fainting, sad-eyed young woman is much out of style nowadays, not only In novels, but Inj real life, and the hap py, healthy, Independent, cheerful and sunny girl has totally eclipsed her In popularity. Exchange. Frock of White Linen. This cut depicts a smart p: o1 - frock of white linen. The skirt was trimmed about the lower part by a 'unfile four-inch baud, piped with wash- ,. tI . , , able black linen at. the top. the bod- ice had a little yoke of real Irish lace and was trimmed with bauds piped j d n f orna. of whUe braW Mothers, , For several years past in families of all grades the old-time respect, con sideration and deference due from daughters to their mothers has been noticeably diminishing, says the New York Sun. This fact remains uncon tradicted, whether the mother ns a woman ronresents the highest social Night Cap Newness. You never saw such sweet night caps, one a kind of mob ln Valen ciennes, with pale blue ribbon, writes a feminine spellbinder in London Truth, in a poem on petticoats and similar fascinations. Upstairs there are rooms full of the quaintest lamp ehade8 cushions of every shape and , rvoivlnz bookstands in Dalnted velvet or brocade( a little chest of drawer9 with fronts falling down, maklng lt ea8y t0 get at things wltnout maklng hay of everything- else n the drawers. Laundry Economy. The small accessories of dress may ! easily and quickly be laundered ln one-8 room, Have a bar of blue laun dry soap, which answers the purpose - Hnpini. . weii HS clean.! snrt the soiled handkerchiefs. By the time one is ln her easy clothes the soaped articles are ready for their dousing ougsly and stretch on window pane or mirror, smoothing out every wrinkle. The turnovers are stiff enough by tlils method of drying without starch. In addition to a clean turnover and hand kerchief each morning one may have a clean knit vest and stockings by washing and hanging on towel rack the evening before. If after rinsing one will run her hand to the toe of the stocking and stretch it as she draws her hand out it will look as well when dry as if Ironed. - ROIITHTF- Abi Dr. Albert Murphy, of Rochester, says soup is one or tne worst inings known for the digestion, and should never be given to children. Germans, who seldom Bit down to the dinner table without soup, will scarcely agree with him. He Is also opposed to spaghetti, which he says Is without nu tritive qualities and Indigestible, and attributes the poor health of the Ital ians to their love for this dish. A mother has discovered that . the baby often cries because It is worried with the bit of lace about the neck of its little dress. The delicate skin of the baby was almost tortured be fore she discovered that it was fhe prickly lace that made the trouble. For the baby's home dresses she has now only briar stitching around the neck and sees to it that not a drop of starch Is put In the little garment. Feminine Snapshots. A duck of a girl can make a goose out of any man. A brother Is a home-made mirror that never flatters. A kiss by any other name wouldn't rhyme with bliss. The world is the shop where we get our manners manicured. Popularity is largely a matter of getting the right press agent. The girl who smokes cigarettes Is not the one who figures In a bache lor's pipe dreams if he knows It. The lamp of learning can't light up a cottage like the caudle of content ment The dollarless man Is still a mil lionaire if he hath not been robbed of his dreams. Experience is life's queer merchan dise that we buy with gray hair and shattered Illusions. ' She that stints her heart to feed her brain will sooner or later die of soul starvation. The jealous wife shouldn't try to lay the ghost of her husband's first love. No man remembers any woman that long. Feather Hatpins. Quite the daintiest, prettiest things Imaginable are the feathered hatpins that have arrived recently from Paris. They are shown in endless variety. Humming birds offer themselves as particularly charming and adaptable, owing to the varied character of their plumage, and there are also some dear little peacocks in realistic colorings, and a distinguished note Is shown ln black crows. So fascinating are these feathery hatpins that they almost amount to trimmings. Mad Spots. Mud spots may be removed from white or washable material by launder ing. Black or dark cloth, however, may be freshened by being rubbed with a raw potato cut In halves (another rem edy that is sure to be at hand), first, however, removing as much of the mud as po'sslble with a brush ; the potato is to remove tbe stain left by the mud, and not the mud Itself. Machine oil marks on dainty white or colored goods should be dipped in benzine. The Copenhagen blue Is the delft blue. Bands of open work are used on many skirts. Navy and royal blue are looked upon as fashion leaders. Blue will certainly be In high favor this fall and winter. The silver and dark mouse gray will be especially fashionable. The shawl wrap is, of course, deeply pointed In the back, while the lease A and flowing sleeve Is formed without cutting. Black will be a conspicuous note in both trimmings and fabrics. Brown will be a favorite russet, Havana and leather shades. The mannish or English-looking tail ored suit is wonderfully smart. Copenhagen blue and nattier blue or old blue are both high-style shades. The Bordeaux reds and a beautiful deep American beauty shade will be worn. The coppery browns and the deep mahogany tones will be exceedingly modish The fabrics show Indeterminate ef fects and beautiful iningllngs of soft. dull shades. The Regency wrap, ample and pic turesque, and the somewhat modified Empire shape prevail. Worth Is showing the Chinese cut ln cloaks without sleeves, which have only long slits for armholes. Many of the new wraps are quaint and old-timey,y reproducing , those In Vogue during the reign of the lovely Empress Eugenie, , , Hat Sense. The woman who has set herself the task of living up to every whim and vagary of La Mode, is finding lt no easy matter to keep pace with tbe autocratic dame, whose moods Just at present are most erratic. In the mil linery she has executed what may, in truth, be called a volte face. The backward tilt, apparently, was merely a temporary aberration, which has speedily given way before the more aristocratic attractions of a firm set on the head. As a matter of fact, this is a perfectly natural poise, the sweep ing back of the hair affording a grace ful side view. New Belts. The new models make the wearing of belts necessary, and the more un usual the bolt the more attractive the whole result, those illustrated show ing several, of colored embroideries on various materials, that blend charm ingly with the buckles. The latter are of Oriental workmanship, and" the belt ings are either Japanese or Chinese handiwork. Sketch 1 is suitable for a person in mourning, and Is of richly fn0ng , vwa their things are sp'lled embroidered black silk on the order I j.j ruther leave that to somebody of taffeta; the buckle Is oblong in 1 elB0 shape and of hand-carved, shaded "Destruction of household furniture oxydized silver, with design of Iris , B0,n(,thlng the female mind ain't con and leaves. Sketch No. 2 shows a BtrUcted to accept peaceable. It jest hand-embroidered white grass linen, ln nn.t! cherry blossom design, In width two J ..Y'ou njwnys Btand by, boys, and and one-half Inches; the buckle with 'kjr tno wotm.n folks when there's large turquols matrix cabuchon center, ' ,jnngnr . that's your duty but when it's set in hammered green gold of quaint ov(,r dwn.t you bo ashamed to dodgo shape and turnings, the ends studded ,fim nut.kj -piiat ain't duty, maybe, but Illustrates a piece of antique Chinese embroidery ln curious shades of blue and gold on a pale yellow green silk ground. The ends toward buckle finish 0 with tapering straps of navy blue leather and the oval buckle is of dull green-gold plate, heavily chased. Sketch 4 shows red Japanese leather with an embossed design of plums in green and gold, finished to appear an tique. The buckle Is of frosted gilt and the leather part is lined with white silk. Deantlfr the Fingernails. After cleaning hands and finger nails and thoroughly drying, dip the tips of the fingers Into good talcum or other white powder, so that plenty of lt Bhall flnd Its way under tho nails. Get rid of loose powder with an orange stick, and what adheres will form a pretty, white rim, which adds greatly to the nail's appearance. Besides, dirt will not accumulate quick ly under nails so treated. An Onnce of Prevention. A woman removed thick ink stains from an Axminster carpet by putting on it a paste of buttermilk and starch, letting it remain two days and wash ing off with cold water ; a second ap plication was allowed to remain three day, and then every vestige of the stain was removed. Milk can be lined Instead of the paste, but on the whole It is Just as well to be careful with Uw.lnk bottle. TRUMPET CALLS. Aam'a Hon Soonds a Warnlaa Not to the Unredeemed. w lieu a man treats ' his mule better tlnn he does his wife, tha devil likes to hear him talk la church. When our ene mies are God's en emies, we are not ln a losing fight Every crown the world gives has thorns in it. The man who Is not a friend will often need one. The fire and the gold never quite understand each other. Whoever does a wrong thing to-day will do two to-morrow. A golden opportunity never ituoeks at the same door twice. A lie can go around the world while truth Is putting on Its hat When you go away from home don't forget that God Is everywhere. The man who walks with God will keep step with everything good. If angels had to live with some men there would be more fallen ones. You can't tell much about the sizo of a man by the size of his grave stone. It is not hard to believe in Chrlt when we see his face ln the lives of those we love. If the Lord had no more mercy on men thnn they have on each other, the world would have been burned up long ngo. I HIS FIRST FIRE. "First fire I run to with the lnjlne after I jlned the company was to the Widow Pickett's," murmured old Ill ram Pettlgresv, settling, himself more easily on tbe bench before the new en gine house. He liked to recall the fact that he had been a fireman himself once, In the old volunteer days. "A blind fire 'twas, all smoke and no flame," he went on, "and Mis' Pickett svns nwtiy, and didn't get back till jest's we'd got it out. "A hnrd fire twas to handle, but we made a good job of lt, and I was stand ing triumphant in the middle o' tho parlor a ' puddly, trlckly, Btreaky, smeary, smoky ruination of a place lt looked surveying the scene, when she come ln. "I s'poso maybe I did look a mite satisfied ; anyways, she thought I did, and she was a terrible hlgh-spereted woman, and wa'n't pleased with the idee. ...... "First thing I knew she flounced up to me in a tantrum, and wanted to know what I mount, wetting' down hor ; walls and sp'llng her furniture when' the fire hadn't teched 'em, and It wa'n't anyways neceswary. "Her voice kept rising higher and higher, and at last says she, 'Did it to make trade for your pa's store, I'll warranty you young booby ! but If ever I buy rag nor stick of him ngnln I'll bo whipped! You go home and tell him so, and tell him he's got an idjit for a son there!' And if she didn't box my ears 'fore I could wink, and start to box 'em again, but I run for It "Yes, sir! I run for lt; and I run right to the chief and resigned out of tho comp'ny, too, only he wouldn't let mo, not though I told him I'd jlried to fight tiros and not to bo fit by females. "I'll own I've boon a bit narvla about women ever since. I don't mind shooing em out or carrying 'oni out, socially lf tl.v falllt: lld (.'t fuss; but as to The Auto Habit. Some delver bus found In :he Bible what he believe to be a hint of auto- J 'ffl-l..ft-i4-jitvistSlln4l-rf-itISMtt ( mobiles, h ,s a l or tne vision 01 " iJiiionuno. concerning the burden of Nineveh. In the account given by this seer of the military array of the Modes and Baby lonians against Nineveh occurs this verse : "The chariots shall rage ln the streets, they shall jostle one against the other in the broad way, they shall seem like torches, they shall run like the lightning." If that doesn't de scribe a street full of motor cars what docs? Then again, a variant of tho word "Jostle," which tho original lie brew will, it is said, bear even better, Is "pass swiftly, without particular puriose, to and fro." Isn't that thu automobile habit? Animal Voices. A cow will moo about an octave; a dog will bark a fourth or fifth of an octave ; a horse's neigh Is a descent oa the chromatic scale, while the donkey will bray In octaves. No donkey has ever yet given evidence of proficiency In the atudy of voice production. Willing to Follow Directions, "I want you to keep the patient iso lated for a few days." "All right, doctor; shall we put tbe ice at the back of his b ad or on top? Baltimore American. Every man has a moral right to keep