Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Bend bulletin. (Bend, Or.) 1903-1931 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 16, 1922)
nKNI) nUMJCTTN, IIKM), OttlCOOW THUtWDAY, VKUHVAHY If), 102 : 1 : , , , . , SAYS PARTIES FAMOUS WRITERS OF HUMOR GOT IT Americans Who Made Their Names I I I , , - , WaHIHM I '' III. M , .1 : JUST AS PURE , Celebrated Were Ecsentlally Men of Hlohett Character, AS PREACHERS SCHOOL BOARD HEAD DEFENDS DANCE PULPIT ATTACK MET Htiilrmi'iilM Matin In Kcnnon Hy llev llciiril HcnrliiK Hludrnt Oilmen Not llnx'il (hi I'ml, Hi- Iiiu'h (.'lly Hiipi'Hnltnili'iit "Local school ilii ii con urn Just ns . pure ii h uiiy primchur who over raiiiu t Itiinil." Thin wiin tliu reply in nil u liy J.. M. Komi, chairman nf thu Iloml school tmnril. In charges hurled liy Ituv. I'. II. Heard, Baptist preacher, In it sermon Humluy iiIkIiI Id tint ef fect Unit thu school iluncu Iiiih hail ii disintegrating effect upon thu mop ulit of many lluml girls. "Tim wuvu of sentiment against 'Janx which In sweeping over thu country, In u good t III hk. I bollovo," lon said. "A to nur lurat school dancing parlies, hownvnr, t know them In ho thoroughly iropnr af fairs. They a ro characterized hy real dignity uiul polso." Trutli (JiiOHtloiiitl Statement miulii hy Ituv. Ileunl, regarding lloiiil student dances, aru '9 not based on fact, City flchoul Bu pc rlntohdunl H. W. .Monro declared, Hoard's remarks on itnncInK woro given In thn course of n nurmoii on tho subject "From thn Hall Iloom to I loll," In which Im assorted that school clillilrun aru holug forced to itunco hy school authorities. ' Hcliuol or class dun con nrn given H In response to thn demand for nodal uctlvltleii In lha Ufa of Ilnnil'ii youiiK people, Superintendent Moorn said. "In my 20 years of experience In school work, I havn never known of a satisfactory subntltuto being of fercil," lie added. "No onn In forced to tlniicc." Ho mentioned that tho student dances nro under faculty supervision. "They nrn Rlvon In n decent and or . derly manner, to tho boil of my knowledga, ho snld. Tho superintendent characterized tho pulpit attack an "n cheap method of drawlni! nttcntlon to tho pastor nnd church." LUMBER PRICES FIRM, IS NOTED OltDHItH HI.OWI.V l.CKi:.KI.(l. 0 mtr imni'iTKiv ami m:. MA.NI AUK 8TII.li VIIITUA1.KY IIALAXClXd, HUUVKV HIIOWK. Thoro In nothing spectacular nhout thu liimtjur market at prosont. Op lern aru slowly Incrcuslug, hut to ditto production and order' practic ally hnlancu. Thorn In n striking dlf foror.cu In thu situation of this year uiul that of last year, howovor. At prosont lumber prices nro firm with vory llttlo "illstroan stock" offered, according to tho Amorlcan Lumbor, "In 1021, however," Thol.umborman nuys, "prlcoH woro receding at this tlmu nnd production was upon a vory scanty basis. In fact, for tho first hIx wooks of 1922 orders nnd production, ns u wholn, nro almost twlco us larKo us for tho first six wooks of 1921. It Ih not difficult to underHtnnd theroforo why tho mnr kot Is firm nnd bids fnlr to remain In this condition. "In thn south wlntor storms have played u consldornhlu part in hold' lug down production. On tho I'acI flc const whllo thoro Is still somo Ion shortngu, tho situation In roctlfy Iiir Itself. An Important phnso of tho situation on tho wost const, how- over, Is thu continued heavy movo mont of lunihor by wntor to Callfor nlii nnd Atlantic const ports (ih woll oh ubroud, For oxumplo, during tho Inst wook for which flRiirus urn iivnlliihlo 47 par cent of now busi ness booked wan for futuro water delivery." They Do Not Twinkle. Stnrs do not really twinkle. They nro Immensely distant suns, and tho light goes out from them us evenly mid ns steadily us llifht Roes out from tho sun that shines on tho world nnd tho other planets of nur small system. Tho light of these dlstnut suns, which wo rail stun, does reach us In n Hush Idk or twinkling wny, but tho fault, If It Ih n fault, Is duo to tho atmosphere which surrounds tho llttlo orb ou which wo live. NOT REALLY WOMAN'S FAULT Tlme-Honored Joke That She Is Al ways LnW for an Appointment le Explained. "The Woman's Side of tho Story" this should Im called, From limit In tint beginning tliu liniiKhty mnln has InvflKhcd against (ho once so much meeker half, and nlovit nil for her hiihlt of heliiK lull'. She was never tale oecnslnmilly or off and on, or even most of the time. You could nlvii)s count upon her Muk late. Home said It depended on the promptness with which you arrived, her tardiness being proportioned thereto, Hut these wern slander ever. No, she wuh late without exception, And he hmi her reasons. "Man's natural habitat," say dene vli'vo, "Is the street curlier, Ihe curb stoiiii club, Woiiinn's Is the home. .Man lares. Woman Is stared at. Man lilamllshes, Woman blushes. A mull ran stand on the curb for an hour or more without rmhiirriissment. Hut a woman Is conspicuous, no matter where she Is nnd n veritable cynosure when alone. In fact, I don't think It's loo much to say that nothing Is noticed so gulrkly ns nil attractive timl unescorted woman. That I why, when she makes nn enencement to meet you at u stated place, she Is sure to be at least tlfleen minutes late. It Is nil due to her dread of belinc compelled to wait anil Is) stared nt. Oh, of course, we love In b adiolied. Hut that's different. And snfer." FEW WALKERS IN AUSTRALIA In That Rsipeet Country le Much Like Our Own Weit of Some Yeare Ago. There wns once n say Trench hu morist. Max O'ltell, who nrrlved In Australia on n hot day nnd strulicht wuy declared thnt the chief occupa tion of the people was holding up lamp Mnts, The abhorrence which pursued that I'nrlslnn would pale be side thn IndlKiiatlon which would overwhelm the limn who dared to de clare thnt the Auitrnllun Is conserva tive, nnd this In spile of the persist ence of the RnlvanlzH Iron roofs of enrly Queensland, the determination with which the black bowler hat still clinics to proRresslvn heads In IMtt or (leorgo street. Sydney, nnd the universal rule from Ooktown to Kalcoorllc of the good oh) must beef. All of which Is Intended to prepare us for the story retold In the Sydney Morning Herald, the widest read nnd most conservative Journal In nil Aus tralia, of tho young Hngllshman In Holf Ilolderwood's novel who wns In vited to visit n New South Wales sta tion seventy jenrs ngo, and Innocently resolved to walk pnrt of the wny nnd se the country. After mnny uphappy misunderstandings reflecting on his right to Im nt large, the visitor bor rows a horse and becomes respectable. Thnt story would be In keeping to day, with the exception thnt the motorcar nnd the nlrplnne would have partly replaced the horso. How Dlack Cats dot Bad Repute. The origin of tho suirstltliius aver sion to blnck cnts Is believed to dnto hsck POi) years to the Kevrnnes moun tain district or France. At thnt time ono Wllllnm, abbot of n monastery be side the river Hcroult, nnd before then a warrior In the Crusades, decided to build a bridge ncross the swift, moun tain stream. Hut ns fust ns the foun dations for tho piers were put down they were swept nwny by the torrent. He persisted for n Io:ir time nnd final ly decided that his Inck of success wns duo to Interference by tho devil. 'He Is supposed then to bnvo Invoked tho Rvll Ono nnd made n compact with him by tho terms of which the abbot vyould complete the bridge, but tho first animal to cross It would be long thereafter to the devil. So It came about, nnd the first animal to cross the bridge wns n blnck cut Fly Has Natural Trap. A pocullur trnpllke uppendaRO, cnlled , mask, ennbles the young dragon lly to cupturo the mosnulio wriggler on which It feeds. Tho mnsk consists of Jointed, nrtlculnted arm thnt Is attached to the under sldo of the head. At tho extremity of this arm Is tho innsk proper, which consists of two. folding pnrts like hands, cuch of which Is provided with n row of small 8hnrp teeth on Its outer edgo. Vhen a tiny Insect passes within reach of tho young dragon tly It suddenly thrusts out the mnsk, grasps the Insect within It nnd hacks It Into tho mouth. When this organ Is not In use It folds hack over thu head, covering It llko n mask. Tho young dragon lly lives In ponds nnd stromas; nnd nslt Is very slow- moving, this trap Is Its salvation. ' 8weet Odor. s Sweet nnd aromatic odors bnvo al ways been In request among mankind. Hasten! nations especially have ever been noted for their Intense love of perfumes. Somo years ago J'rofessor Tyndall showed that sweet nnd aromatic odors were cooling to room In other words, their presence bars out heut-rnys of tho sun, allowing those of light chlelly to enter. An thcr-Hiruy of perfume, kept up for a fow minutes In n summer room too hotly heated by tho sun, has almost n muglcal effect In cooling Its ntmos phere, for tho reason nsslgned by Doctor Tyndall, It hns Just been dis covered Unit odors nnd perfumes nro also an antiseptic that Is to say, pro tective ngalnst epidemic diseases In u very high degree. I 1111 Nye," our own IMgur Wilson Nye, leaped Into fame whllo writing humorous sketches for tho l.urnmle Ilooiiicrmig, of which he whs editor, The iinine of "Hill Nye" wns bestowed on him by his olllco assoclafcs, His book, "Haled Hay," was very popular for a time, but, llko much humorous writing, Its popularity was ephemeral, "Illll Nye" wns much loved by all who knew him. Il was considered "the grrnlcst American liar," 'Wllllnm. T. Adams wns Ihe noted "Oliver Optic," who wrote more than a thousand stories. Ho died much mourned by young renders, for whom most of bis hooks were written. Under the name of Artemus Ward, Charles F, Ilrowne iimdo n worldwide reputntl'si ns a lectmer and humorist. He wns an lulmltnble wng; his humor was Irrespresslhti! nnd kept all about Mm In it constant stale of merriment. He was the first writer to adopt phonetic spelling. He died In mill. "Jill 1'erklns" wns contemporary wllh "ArtemiiH Wnrd," and It wns Witrd who bestowed the nom de plume upon him. .Melville 1). London was es seutlnlly a "funny mini," but not truly a humorist. He was it gentle, kindly man and oiu; who loved his fi-ltows. Henry W. Kbnw was the "Josh Hill ings" of humor nnd homely phi losophy. He wns kicked Into fame by Me "ITssn on the Muel," which netted Mm fIJV). his first money earned In literature. He traveled and lectured extensively on "The I'robabllltles of Life; I'erlmps Italn, I'erbnps Not." He snld: "There's cheats In nil things; even plr.en Is ndulleniled" He wns n delightful man nnd neve" did n mean thing In bis life, and never had an enemy among good men. "Josh Hill ings" died of apoplexy In Monterey, Cnl. TEST FOR WRITERS OF PROSE One Who Can Describe Clearly Proper Way of Tying Knot Is Master of Language. Hopes more than any othcr'subject are, I think, a test of n man's power of eximsltlon In prose. If you can des crlbo clearly tho proper wayW making this or that knot, then you are a master or the Hngllsh tongue. You re not only a muster you nre a sign, n portent, a new discoverer, nn exception numns your rellow men, a unique fellow. For no one yet In this world surely has attained to lucidity In this most difficult branch or all expression. I And over nnd over again In the pas sages of those special books which tnlk of ropes, such language ns, 'This Is n very useful knot und Is made as follows: a bight Is taken In the stand ing port nnd Is then run over right bnndedlyH that Is with tho sun, then under the running part, and so through both times nnd hauled tight by the two ends." Hut If any man should seek to save his life on n dark night In n sudden gust or wind by this description he would lose It. He would drown. Take tho simplest or them. Take the clove hitch. Wrlto a sentence In English which will expalln (without b picture) how to cast n clove hitch. I do not think you will succeed. II. nclloc In Ihe New Statesman. A Note by Wordeworth. Trensurcs nru never exhausted; only, sometimes, there Is n painful dearth or treasure seekers. Not long ago u book buyer, rummag' big In n second hand store nt Oxford, unearthed n copy of Coleridge's ntographln I.lterurln, which he bought for $1.31. A little Inter, examining his purchase nt bis hotel, he round on a blank pugo spmo notes Initialed "W Ilereroncc to tho Ilodlelan library re venled thnt tho notes wero by Words worth. Ho sold the book bnck to the dealer tho same day for 12 ($0O) which to the truo book lover will be the only painful pnrt of the story. A curious Illustration or tho en hanced value thnt nn autograph gives n book Is to bo round In a volunio that turned up at Dobell's, London, not long since. It cost Thomus Orny Is Od (.11 cents) which tho poet no doubt thought denr enough. Ho wroto his nnmo In It, however, nnd now It fetches 4.10 (22.K0), From tho LIvIur Age. Ho Was Stumped. Hack In nn Inland town In Illinois In tho enrly days there wns n Justice of tho pence who wns very nearsighted. Ono sinner day ho mado out some sub poenas to ho served on witnesses, nnd doted off. A tly lit In his Inkwell, .ex tracted Itself after some dllllculty, nnd crawled onto ono of tho subpoenas. Tho constnble, who wns something of it practical Joker, picked up tho paper, nnd pointing to tho tly trucks, snld "Judge, whnt Is thnt numoj" The Judge held'tho pnper closo to his eyes nnd squinted nt It for u row min utes. Then scratching his head In ver ploxlty, he nuswered : "Looks like my handwriting, nil right, hut darned If I can make out the name." Wall Street Journal. The Lure of Office, "Senntor Snortsworthy snys the greatest hardship or public llfo Is tho fact thnt It keeps him nwny from his homo town nnd his old friends." "Mnybo so, but I notlco when elec tion tlm? draws near the senntor nets like a man who would be glad to make the kcparutlon' permanent." Ulruilu. ham Ago-IIeruld. eatnnn u m wtkhhh tt ro CHILD FEEDING IS EXPLAINED I'OOl) HAIIITK (!' IXI'AXTS CAS m: msiLY coxtuomjKii, HAYS KXI'KUT IX ADDHK-SS TO MOTIIKHS. Lectures and demonstrations' on subjects of vital Interest In the homes of Dend nnd Deschutes county nro being glvon hero this week liy ex perts brought to Ucnd for a series of meetings at Kpworth hall In con nection with Fnrmors' Week. That child feeding Is a matter of knowing what, when, n,nd how to reed, was emphasized Monday nf ternoon by Miss Margery Smith, nu trition specialist, In an address to mothers. She stated that a child Is born trlthout food or healtji habits, which can bo acquired at the desire or tho parents. Miss Smith will lead a discussion on dlot for school children at 2 o'clock Saturday afternoon at the hall.. Miss Esther Cooloy, O. A. C. cloth ing specialist, gavo a hat frame demonstration at 10 o'clock yester day morning In Epworth hall. In tho afternoon the trimming of sev eral types of hats will be demon strated., This work Is preliminary to a millinery school to bo held dur ing the first week In April. On Friday morning nt 10 o'clock thero will bo a demonstration of a foundation pattern, and in tho afternoon- Miss Coolcy will discuss color and dress design. INTEREST CHICKEN RAISERS IN SHOW Although unablo to enter exhibits at tho Bond Poultry show. Hay V. Constable, Prlnovillo fancier, will aid In nrouslng Interest in that city In tho coming competition. In a let ter to tho poultry show committee. Constnblo states his hollof that a winter show will do much to stimu late tho poultry business. Philadelphia Diamond Grid Ford Special! A Storage Battery, Built Especially for The Ford Car The Solid Composition Rubber Case, grooved in bottom to fit carrying rod, eliminates all possibility of racking, and assures longer, more satisfactory service than the old style wooden case See This Ford Special Before Buying KING BROS. For Tire or Battery Repairing, Let The Kings Serve You" PASTOR SCORES SCHOOL DANCE; BLAMES CHURCH FOR FAILURE TO OFFER YOUTH OTHER AMUSEMENT School dancing was described as "one or the most damnable thlnes that is being forced upon tho young people of Uend" by Rov. F. II. Heard of tho Baptist church In his sermon last night entitled "From the Ball Hbom to Hell." Many Bend girls, said Beard, havo met their downfall through the school dance. School officials who provide no other means of amuse ment aro "copartners with the dovll," he said. "Bend Is dance crazy," he declared He stated that he felt sure that minor girls are attending public dances unaccompanied by their par ents. Beard prefaced his remarks by saying that he had visited dance halls In all sorts of places, both high and low, and found the same conditions. Thero are many forms or dancing, he stated, some or them harmless In themselves, but leading to a de sire to Indulso in tho grosser forms. The modern dance is the dance of death, he said. "There Is no Justification for tho modern dance in the Bible," ho de clared. "The dance was a religious act, Indulged in by women only. CHARTER RECEIVED FOR SISTERS CLUB A charter for the Try Sewing club, of Sisters, one or the standard clubs ot tho state which has completed the work outlined, has been received at tho office ot tho county school su perintendent. The charter bears the signatures of Secretary of Agricul ture Henry C. Wallace, Stato Super intendent J. A. Churchill, Extension Director Paul V. Maris of tho Oregon Agricultural college,, and H. E. Sey mour, state club leader. ?jB5?i while dancing .as amusement was condemned." "Music and motion do not mako wrong right," said Beard. "I know that liberties are taken with part ners In the dance, particularly by young people. The close cmbraco necessary In the danco Is never right except between relatives. "Murder has often resulted from Jealousy caused by the Improper re lations or the dance. No man seeks his wire in the ballroom, and no man cares to danco after he is married, nor wants his wife to dance. The parlor dance Is as bad as the public dance." He quoted several emin ent dancing masters to the effect that the foxtrot and one step must be abolished, to avoid a national law against dancing. Only 10 per cent of tho people of America dance. Beard quoted one dancing master as saying, in refuta tion of the Idea that ho was taking the unpopular aide. Churches are making it hard for the dance, the same man had said. "I do not blame the young peo ple," said Beard. "Tho church peo ple are as much to blame as anyone else if they do ' not provide other amusement to take the placo of the dance." WILL PASS ON NAME OF LAKE IN MARCH Renaplng of Lost lake has been again postponed. A letter received by the Bend Commercial club from C. S. Sloan, secretary of the National Geographic board, in regard to the club's request that the name of Lake Bend be authorized, states that the board had Insufficient tlmo to con sider the question at Its February session. The matter will be brought up at the regular March meeting la Washington, D. C. oa UN