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About The Douglas independent. (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 23, 1884)
THE . IIIDEPEIIDEIIT IS ISSUED .SATURDAY MORNINGS, BT THE Douglas County Publishing Company. THE IIIDEPEirDElTT HAS THE IN EST JOB OFFICE IN DOUGLAS COUNTY. CARDS, BILL HEADS, LEGAL BLANIS, One Tear - - . - - $2 60 Six Months -160 Three Months ----- 1 00 These sxe ths terms of thoM paying In sdranoe. The Jxdipesdest offers fine inducement to sdrertisens. Terms reasonable. And other Printing, including; Large aM Heayj Posters ami Showy Ham-Bills, Xeatly sn4 expeditiously executed AT PORTLAND PRICES. VOLJ IX. EOSEBTJRG, OREGON, SATURDAY, AUGUST 23, 1884. NO. 20. THE llOUflL J. JASKULSIC, PRACTICAL latcliater, Jeweler ana Ostician, AIL WOBK WARRANTED, Dealer la Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, Spectacles and Eyeglasses. and a ruix LIKI or Cigais, Tobacco & Fancy Goods. Th only reliable Optomer in town for the proper adjust ment of Spectacles ; always on hand. Depot sf the Genuine Brazilian Pebble Spec tacles and Eyeglasses. Office First Door South of Postoffice, ROHEBUIM. OBECiOST. LANGENBERG'S Boot and Shoe Store ROSEBIB6, OKO.V, On lackian Street, Opposite the Post Office, - Keeps an hand ths largest and best assortment of . Eastern and Han Francises Bssts and hoes, Gaiters, tSllppers, And aTerything in the Boot and Shoe line, and SELLS CHEAP FOR CASH. Hosts and Shoes Made to Order, and Perfect Fit Guaranteed. I use the Best of Leather and Warran all my work. Repairing Neatly Done, on Short Notice. I keep always on hand TOYS AND NOTION8. Musical Instruments and Violin Strings a specialty. I,Olli.LAXC;EXnERG. DR. Nl. W. DAVIS, 33 DENTIST, ROIEBURG, OREfiOK, Office On Jackson Street, Up Stairs, Over S. Marks & Co.'s New Store. HAHONEY S SALOON, Nearest the Sailroad Depot, Oakland. J AH. MAIIOXEY, - - - Proprietor The Finest Wines, Liquors and Cigars in Louglas County, and THE BEST BILLIARD TABLE IN THE STATE, KEPT IN PROPER REPAIR. Parties trareliiig on th railroad will find this place very handy to visit during the stopping of the train at the Oakland Depot. Give m a call. JAS. MAIIONEY. JOHN FRASER, Home Made Furniture, WILBUR, OREGON. UPHOLSTERY, SPRING MATTRESSES, ETC, Constantly on hand. FURNITURE. I have the Best STOCK OF FURNITURE South at Portland. And all of my own manufacture. Xo Two Prices to Customers. Residents of Douglas County are requested to give me a call before purchasing elsewhere. ALL WORK WARRANTED. DEPOT HOTEL, Oakland, Oregon. RICHARD THOMAS, Proprietor. This Hotel has been established for a num ber of years, and has become very pop ular with the traveling public. FIRST-CLASS SLEEPING ACCOMMODATIONS AUDTHK Table lupplied with the Best the Market affords Hotel at the Depot of the Railroad. H. C. STANTON, DEALER IN Staple Dry Goods. Keeps constantly on hand a general assortment of Extra Fine Groceries, WOOD, willow'and glassware, ALSO CROCKERY AND CORDAGE, A full stock of SCHOOL DOOKS. Such as required by the Publls County Schools. All kinds of Stationery, Toys and Fancy Articles, IO SUIT BOTH YOUNO AND OLD. Buys and ells Legal Tenders, furnishes Cheeks on Portland, and procures ,-" Drafts on San Francisco. SEEDS! SEEDS! v SEEDS! ALL KINDS OF THE BEST QUALITY. ALL ORDERS Promptly attended to and goods shipped with care. Address, HAGUEXT at BEXO. Portland. Oregon. Origin or the Term. , Inter Oi.eaiu It is generally supposed that the term "dark horse is of American origin But Tuackeray used it in his "Adven tures of I hilip, before it bacinie cnr rent in tip's country, and in exa tly the sense that we employ it. " Well, blets my soul " 1 hilip is made to uay, re- foirin r to some mysterious ta'k, about a candidate for the house o! commons. "he can't wean me. Who is Lo.-e he has in his stable?" the dark OTTLE GIFim Dr. Frank Ticknor. Oat of the focal and foremost fire, Oat of the hospital's walls as dire; Smitten of grape-shot and gangrene, (Eighteenth battle and be sixteen!) Specter, such as you seldom see, Little Giffia of Tennessee. "Take him and welcome," the surgeons said; "Little toe doctor can help the dead r . So we took him, and brought him where The balm was sweet in the summer air, And we laid him down on a wholesome bed Utter Lazarus, heel to head I . . We watched the struggle with bated breath Skeleton boy against skeleton Death. Months of torture, how many such 1 Weary weeks of the stick and crutch. And still a glint of the steel-blue eye Told of a spirit that would not die. And did not; nay more, in Death's despite The crippled skeleton learned to write: "Dear Mother,'' at first, of course, and then "Dear Captain," inquiring about the men. Captain'i answer? 'Of eighty-fiTe Grain and I are left alive." -Mi, , ! Word ofToom from the war one day: "Johnston is pressed at the front," they say. Little Uimn was up and away; A tear his fii-st-as he bade good-bye, Dimmed the glint of his steel-blue eye. "I'll write, if spared I" There was news of the fight, - , . But none of Giffin he did hot write. I sometimes f aucy that were I King Of the princely Knights of the Golden Ring, IV ltb toe song of the minstrel in mine ear, And the tender legend that trembles here, I would give the best on his bended knee, 1 he whitest soul of my chivalry, For Little Giffin of Tennessee 1 SUNDAY NICHT IN CHINATOWN. Things In Mott Street Which Strike the Stranger as Enigmatic. New York Sun. One of the liveliest places in New York on a Sunday evening is the lower part of Mott street, from Chatham up to Park. It is lively with a life that i3 an enigma to the stranger. From nightfall till nearly midnight the sidewalks, the stoops, and the steps leading to the basements swarm with Chinamen. It seems as though all the Chinese in; the city were gathered there. The building3 on each side of the street are occupied almost ex clusively by Chinese tenants, who are shy of inquisitive sightseers, and keep their blinds and shades pretty closely drawn. The street is never bright with lights, but its nearest approach to brightness is on Sunday eTenings. Then it has a kind of holiday appear ance. There are two or three buildings in the upper stories of which festivities of tome kind appear to be going on. Strange noises come from the windows noises like the clashing of cracked cymbals, the piping of toy fifes, and the clatter of unstrung snare drums, x or all that can be heard in the streets, these ridiculous noises are made sol emnly and for some grave purpose ; no sound of the human voice reaches the ear. The rooms in which these things are going on are brightly, lighted. All the stores are open and rows of China men, standing around, line the walls. The stranger can look through the window of a basement and see a Chi nese barber shaving one of his country men. The victim winces, but takes his punishment as something which must be endured. Almost without exception the China men are Cantonese. Nine-tenths of them wear the dress of their native country. Square-crowned felt hats seem to bs considered the correct thing. Jn some of the stores the mer chants are so different from the other Chinamen that they seem like repre sentatives of another race. They are the solid men of Chinatown. ihey look as the mandarins on tea chests would look if draped in the less elabor ate garb of commercial life. Their clothing is of fine texture, and it was evidently made with great care. Long ago the Chinese abolished buttonholes the tailor's friend, as the moth is the furrier's friend. A curiously constructed "frog" and catch serve as buttonhole and button. Fashions do not change, cloth fabrics are lasting, and the rich Chinese merchant s outer garment endures for years upon years. These autocrats of Chinatown are seldom seen outside their pla es of business. An agreeable combination of spicy odors pervades the atmosphere of their stores. The Chinamen who make a holiday of Sunday night seem to be very much occupied. The swarms around the doors are engaged in interested talk. The men hurry out of basements and disappear in the entrance! Lorn stoops. Evidence of the Chinese ad miration for labyrinth ne arrangement is shown at nearly every basement door which leads not into any room, but into a narrow passage that runs parallel with the sidewalk. YY ithin the door the view is cut off by a turn in the pas sage. Some of these places are gam bling rooms or opium resorts, or both combined. There isn t another place in New York where half as many persons can be seen about on a Sunday evening, where it is not possible to find the side entrance to a bar-room ajar not far away. The stranger naturally falls to conjecturing what the attraction can be that thus draws so many Chinamen to Chinatown, and occupies them till mid night. There are alwavs curiosity seekers strolling up and down the sidewalks The Chinese do not appear to see them. Hoodlums co through the street in small mobs, and the Chinamen bear the infliction philosophically. Now and then a couple of young women with faces of wax-like pallor, hurry along the sidewalk. The stranzer says to himself that they are opium fiends, going to hit the pipe at some joint. Ten to one they are shop girls go ng home from a stroll on the Brooklyn bridge. , " Be!slan Literary Prize. Paris Figaro, The king of the Belgians has regu larly offered every year for the last ten years a prize of f o.UUU for the best work on some subject of general inter est, the greatest latitude of choice be ing allowed the candidates, provided the work came within the sutl'clently comprehensive category of oeuvres d'intelligence." During the whole ten veai s the prize has only been awarded once. Marguerite da Yalois : Hypocrites hide their defects with so much care that their hearts are poisoned by them. ON A COLD TRAIL Chicago Tribune. A tall woman leading a child by the hand alighted from a Western train three days ago at the Union depot on Canal street. Her complexion was brown, her cheeks were high and pro jecting, and her hair was jetbi k. She was plainly dressed, and probably the most expensive article of attire she wore was her large, brown Tarnished straw hat surrounded by a purple feather. As she looked around the station wonderingly, and her little boy at her side clung half frightened to her dress, it was easy to see she was a stranger to Chicago. Approaching one of the men around the depot, -"he asked several questions, shook her, head gravely once or twice, and then with downward head, as if she were in tears, led her boy slowly up the stairway to Canal street, where she stood for a few minutes gating alternately to all points of the compass. , That seems to be a kind of hard case, said the depot-hand whom she had been questioning. "She has come with her boy all the way from Pawnee City, JNeb., and if it hadn t been for the kindness of the other passengers on the cars she would have been dropped somewhere on the road long before she readied Chicago, because she started without money or ticket, and, I dare say, for that matter j the pair hadn't a morsel of grub be tween them. Yon see, this is how it is. She is a half-breed In dian, and married a white man a la borer on the railroad: "When the man's job was finished he deserted her and her child and left her penniless. She learned from some of the other labor ers that he had gone off to Chicago, and without knowing anything about Chicago, except that it was a pretty big village somewhere in tho east, she silently went home, dressed herself and her boy, and boarded the first tram to this city. I he conductor was telling me all about her. When he asked her for her ticket she looked scared and said she hadn't any, but if he wouldn't take her along to Chicago she and the boy would just step out and walk walk, mind you, to Chicago from Nebraska. AY ell, this kind of staggered the con ductor, who began to question her. She sa d she was going to find her husband, whose name was Thomas, and that she didn't expect there would be any dif ficulty in finding him, as he would probably be working among the other laborers on the new track at Chicago. You tee, she thought Chicago was some village where the railroad was going to be laid for the first time. Well, the conductor, a kind-hearted fellow, didn't like to turn her off the cars and he went among the other passengers and told them how the squaw, as he called her, was going to take a walk to the 'village of Chi cago' to find her husband, who had sKippea out ana leit ner aione witn a boy. The word was passed around and in half an hour Mrs. Thomas had not on'y her fare paid, but a few dollars over to get her food on the trip and still leave hr some money to get along with in Chicago for a day or bo anyhow. For two days she sat in the car, speaking to nobody and staring blank in front of her, and it wasn't until the third that she ventured to ask the conductor if she wasn't going out" of her way and mightn't have passed Mr. Thomas on the road. There goes the 'squaw' and 'papoose' now, along side the fence up there, concluded the depot-man, "and I expect they'll have a time of it before they chance upon Mr. Thomas in the streets of Chicago." The same night the guests of a small hotel on South Canal street were thrown into consternation by singular awakenings, and at breakfast next morning they exchanged stories about their experiences towards the witching hour of midnight. One said that he was sound asleep in bed when he found himself grabbed by the feet. By the dim light he thought he beheld a giant i-jgging at tne oeaeiotnes ana heard a A i il lis n i sepulchral voice saying: "louaremy husband; you come with me. An other said that in his room there were three fellow.s sleeping, when all of sudden they were awakened by being pushed and hauled about. They sat up simultaneously and asked. "What in thunder is the mat ter?" and a voce replied, " which of you mans is my husband? All in turn condemned the specter roundly for its intrusion, and it glided away with a kind of grunt ; but a few seconds afterwards they heard a series of yells, and the clerk of the hotel came tearing down the corridor with a wild looking woman at his heels. He was in his night clothes. She caught him by the hair , and he yelled again. She pulled him under the kerosene light. He begged wildly for mercy. Gazing steadily into his face for a few mo ments she pushed him away from her with a gesture of disgust and sa d, lou aint no tne man I want." By this time the whole hotel had been aroused, and a crowd of half-dressed people came out of their rooms into the halls to see what the matter was. The tall woman with phe nomenal strides swept past them all un til she came opposite a stout-built, mid dle-sized man with shaggv black whis kers and a pair of Canton cotton drawers, who was standing in one o the doorways. Clutching him frantic ally around the neck, and then sliding down to the ground until she caught him by the knees, she called out: "Oh, Thomas, I got yon! I knowed I'd get you, Thomas I Oh, Thomas, don't never leave your poor wife and baby no more your poor babv, Thomas your poor little baby, Thomas!" In the meanwhile the man addressed as Mr. Thomas recovered from his first astonishment, gave a whistle, and then said in a tone of the most ineffable dis gust, WaL IH be doggoned! Shoot me if 'taint the suaw !" Next day Mr. Thomas and his wife and child took tickets back to Pawnee City. It appears that after leaving the Union depot Mrs. Thomas wandered southward a long distance, asking peo ple here and there whether they could tell her where Mr. Thomas was. She happened to meet an elderly man to whom she told, in pathetic broken Eng lish, the story of her desertion; and he, though impressed with the ap parent hopelessness of her search, resolved . to accompany' her to some of the hotels in the neighborhood, as he knew the locality to be a great resort for railroad men. He examined hotel-book after hotel book for the name of Thomas, and at last he found one which did contain that signature. After asking the clerk some questions about Mr. Thomas and communicating the results to Mrs. Thomas she never said a word nor moved a muscle, but went up to the desk and engaged a room for the night. Shaking hands with her friend, she and her child went to the room she had paid for and remained there so quietly that the clerk had forgot ten all about her until he was roused at midnight and chased down the corridor by a woman whom he took to be a veritable maniac The half breed lady from the west had taken the usual "method of corn eriig her hn3- band by arousing every man in the house until she found the one she wanted. In her simple way she had argued that Mr. Thomas, caught with his day-clothes on, might run away and leave her again, but that Mr. Thomas, cornered in his night-clothes, would be a very different person to deal with : and she was right, for he neither attempted to run away nor to deny that he was the missing husband and father. The Unconscious Flirt. (W. M. Donnelly in Texas S:f tings. The unconscious flirt is a frank, gen erous, warm-hearted girl ; young, im pulsive, and with little knowledge of the world. If she likes you, she lets you see it very plainly. She does not love you, nor has it ever entered her head to marry you. You are a man ot the world, and at once, not understand ing the girl's simple nature, you con clude that she has either fallen in love with you, or is a most consummate flirt. bo she is a flirt, but one of the uncon scious kind. Another unconscious flirt is the girl who wants to convert you. She is sc earnest, so pleading ; her soft blue eyes look so tenderly into yours, as she lava her hand upon your arm and urges her cause, that, if your heart is free, it is in serious danger. A third variety of the unconscious flirt is she who blushes and looks down when she meets you. She draws her hand from yours hurriedly. Her voice falters when she speaks to you, and if left alone with you by any chance, she makes some excuse to get away. And yet you sometimes catch a tender ex pression m her eyes as she looks at you, that proves it is not dislike that causes avoidance. You dray your own con clusions, and are perhaps led to love the girl unawares. Then comes a pro posal, followed by refusal, bitterness of heart, and disappointment; and for ever after you regard the girl as a flirt. The simple fact was, she had been told, or in some was led to believe, that you were in love with her. She liked you, but would not marry yon, and hence her avoidance and the pity you mistook for love. Ills First Offense. Texas Sil tings. "Guilty or not guilty?" asked an Austin justice of the peace of a colored culprit, who was accused of stealing a whole line lull of linen. "Dat ar 'pends on you, jedge. Hit's for you to say." " You must either plead guilty or not guilty. I have nothing to do with it. "Yes, you has. If you is gwineter let me off with nuftin but a reprimand, like you did las time "Well, suppose I do let you off with a reprimand, as I did last time?" in dat case i pieads ' guilty to six snirts, ioau puiy sups, ana about a dozen udder pieces." "But I'm not going to let you off so easy. "Den, ef yer is gwineter sock it ter me, I'll gib a li'ar one ob de shirts, and we will try this case by a jury. "All right. I'll enter a plea of not guilty. This did not seem to suit the culprit very well, for he spoke up : "I say, boss, I don't keer to put de court and de sheriff to trouble on my account. Jess lemme off ag'in wld a repriman', as you did las' week, on ac count ob hit being my fust offense, and I'll plead guilty ter five chickens I pulled las' week, an' a hog I stole las' winter, an' a pair ob shoes from de store, and a wood-pile I'se gwineter haul oil to-night." Europe's Slow "Pauper Labor." St. Louis Republican. A man will accomplish t wice as much in an average lifetime, in this country, as anywhere in the Old World and this is true of men in all positions, the lawyer in his office, the physician in his chaise, the mechanic in his shop, and the operative in the milL An American workingman who re cently returned to Pittsburg from a visit to England expresses his surprise at the comparatively small amount of work done by laborers in that country, They move slowly and leisurely, they take their time about everything and seem never in a hurry all in striking contrast witn the herce, unsparing vehemence ith which men pursue their vocations in this country. There is no doubt that Americans overdo them selves. They accomplish as much in side of 50 years of age as Europeans ac complish inside of 70; and if life were measured bv the amount of work done, our people are the longest lived in the world. One reason for this is the im mense amount of work to be done in this country, and the comparatively small number of skilled persons to do it. Landor : A little praise is good for a shy temper. It teaches it to rely on the kindness of others. The mince pie graceth the festive board, Masking its juices rare, And the mouth of our baby waters the while lie vieweth tne treasure there. Tbe doctor smileth a wan, sad smile, And heaveth a crocodile moan ; And the marble man goeth into bis yard And polisheth up a stone. And the undertaker mournfully asks: "What will his measure be?'1 While tbe sexton labels a spot "reserved" Under a willow tree. New Orleans T'-nes-Democrat THE GERMANS OF PENNSYLVANIA. In the Magnificent ValleysFamily Names of the Old Stock. . "GatbV Letter. In Pittsburg and its vicinity are about 30,000 Irish, 15,003 English and 4 ), 000 native Germans. Pennsylvania is the great prolific hive of . tbe well-mixed American races. The natural increase of the German-derived people iu that state is enormous, and con sidering the number imported at a compara tively recent period, they have probably in creased much faster than the New England stock. ' The Pennsy vania Germans only be gan to arrive at the beginning of the eighteenth century, and they continued to come till the beginning of the Revolutionary war. The New England races came in from the first third of the seventeeth century, and they had numerous centers of population and interest at that time much superior to Pennsylvania. The Germans were fortunate enough t" get into the magnificent valleys of Pennsylvania and to understand the cultivation of the lime stone, and so they hare slowly advanced on ward by natural lines, keeping down the val ley into Maryland and Virginia and overflow ing it into the lap of Maryland, and taking up the smaller limestone valleys toward tbe main Allegheny, and this old class of Ger mans, unlike the more recent Germans, who came in during the intestinal commotions of Germany, adhered to the southern side in the war. Atzerodt, one of the assassins with Wilkes Booth, was of tbe old stock, and al though he spoke broken English, was born in this country. I think Iraboden, one of che Confederate generals, was also of this blood. It is both refreshing and depressing to look into these old German towns of Pennsylvania and see how like Europeans they take up their little pursuits, find meat for living in the small range of their experience, and pre sent an extraordinary contrast to the more energetic races we have. Among the names you will recognize as characteristic of this old stock are Heintzelman. Ritteuhouse. Bookwalter, Hartranft and Menhelenberg. In the higher ranges of professional life and in the highest honors it is seldom that old Germans of unmixed blood are found. I think that not one of them has ever been on the supreme bench, though Justice Miller probably derives his name from an old Ger man family. Abraham Lincoln is believed to have bad some of this stock in him, and if so, it would account for bis mingled steadi ness and humor. Tbe acquisition of money is very characteristic of this race, and, though not many of them b9come famous in finance, they are generally a well-to-do race. Bog Trains In Idaho. Cor. San Francisco Chronicle. During the day of my arrival 1 saw a few men sweating under the labor of pulling two sacks of flour on a toboggan, and several dog trains. These dog trains are amusing, if not admirable, as means of transporting freight. They are made up of Indian dogs, collies, mongrels, scrub yelpers, Newfoundlands, and mastiffs, with now and then a buadog. The driver goes behind and urges them on with snowballs, now and then finding it necessary to go forward and make a lazy cur work up to bis collar by giving him the bight of a packing-ropa. Poor brute! Probably it is his only bite of any kind for many hours. I asked one dog-team man what he fed to his dogs, and he sa'd: "Tallow and Indian meaL "Are they trained?" "No; we pick up all sorts of dogs and work them in very soon by putting a good dog on the lead." "Do they never balk?" "No: dogs is the biggest fools in the world, while they is the sagaciousest animals. Why, when them dogs near about pull their toe nails off comin' up a steep bill, they bark out their delight when I go up and pat them on the head and call them 'good dog.' Horses nor no other animals won't be fed on such taffy. Why, these dogs will s' -id it to be custed for miles and then be tickled to death at a pat on the bead." So he rattled on about the doga. The mer chants say the dog teams spoil goods like the mischief. They are nil the time tipping over and rolling them around. " The latest method of packing bas been developed to-day. Two fellows came into camp with two sticks and a crosspiece, upon wnicn were puea Hour sacks and bacon, tbe ends of the sticks rest ing upon the shoulders of the carriers. The days of the toboggan are pretty much ended, There is snow enough, but it is not evenly enough distributed to be of any use. The toboggan has loomed up during this Coeur d'Alene excitement, and has found its way into literature to a remarkable extent The men who have been most intimate with it will cuss the toboggan for the reniai- - of their lives. The Mexican People. Cbas. A. Dana in N. Y. Sun. The population of Mexico is commonly estimated at nine or ten millions No census has been taken, but this estimate is probable not exaggerated. The great mass of the inhabitants are Indians, and in race and habits they are similar to the Pueblo, Zuni, and Navajo - Indians of New Mexico and Arizona. They are generally small in stature, sober, honest, industrious, temperate and intelligent. A more valuable peasantry can scarcely be found. Their virtues are their own; their vices are of European admixture. School education, has done little or nothing for them; but of late years efforts have been made to establish schools f jt their benefit They seem very capable of being instructed; and if, as we trust, there is a bright future for Mexico, it lies in the development and education cf the native race. The ruling classes in Mexico are mainly of Spanish and mixed blood. The late Pre sident Juarez was a pure Indian, but the number of educated people with nothing Spanish in their origin, must be very small indeed. Among the civil and military func tionaries the Spanish element appeirs to predominate; and the political usages of the country are decidedly Spanish in their nature. Sport at Waslilugton Chicago Times.) vV aslnngtoo, it seems, can be made just as much a paradise for the sportsman as it is for the statesman. The Potomac, forty miles below Alexandria, is famous for its ducking shores. From the middle of November till the 1st of May canvasbacks, redheads, black beads and whistlewings feed on the wild cherry beds which line the shores. The great forests of Stafford Countv. Va.. are alive in tbe fall with wild turkeys, and the bot torn lands alonz the river with quail. The bass fishing of the upper Potomac can't be excelled. The finest woodcock ground in the world the glades of Garrett county, Mary' land is withiu a few hours' ride. A fair day's sport is a dozen brace of as fine birds as ever delighted the eye or tickled the pal ate of an epicure. Blackwater, a day's ride from Oakland, Md.. is the greatest trout stream south of Maie. mark Twain's Revenge Inter Ocean. . Mark Twain now proposes to plague the inventors of the autograph April-fool hoax bv Rnblisbinsr in a narrmhlet all the i-pniiesta. i with caricature portraits of the senders, and bnel Diographicai essays, lor which the sharp pen of Twain will be dipped in a mix- , lure ot vitriol ana vinegar. Kisning a Senortuu Perral (Mex.) Letter. "Senorita, I kiss your feet, a diosl This is the parting salute contained in a note just finished to a vouncr Mexican riend. Of course I do not intend to kiss her feet, but it is the proper caper here, and I have conformed to it. Why should I kiss Zenobia's feet, even meta phorically ? True, I would, and perhaps have, kissed her hand and lips, her fore head, cheeks, and probably the back of her neck, but, although Zenobia is a sweet girl, I must be excused from os culatory; contact with her pretty foot, dressed j in a high-heeled and arched- instepped gaiter. Like all the Mexican girls, she is rather slouchy about her hosiery, and 1 happened once to have observed that her white stockings were not of the very cleanest, and hung in bids over the tops of her gaiters in stead of being braced up. The appear ance reminded me of a collapsed con certina, and the dear girl fell 30 per cent, in my esteem. - . By the way, the senoritas have but a faint idea of kissing the art which so ew possess the capacity of extracting the most available ecstasy and I one day offered to show a dark-eyed, raven haired jronng lady how los Americanos performed the act. She laughingly agreed it is unnecessary for me to say that the male members and duenna were out of the way and I advanced upon her; my left arm .encircled her waist, extending over the right shoulder downward; my right arm, bent at the elbow, afforded my hand an oppor tunity of accumulating her dimpled chin. Gently holding back her head and throwing a -look, or rather a rapid serie. ot looks of unutterable nothings into my eyes, 1 gazed clean through hers for a moment, and then, with a ong-drawn breath I tapped her lips. It was a revelation to her; she quivered visibly, j but, instead of returning my kiss, she broke away from my embrace and ran off to lock herself up, fright- ened, pleased, but astounded. I was satisfied that I had done myself and country proud, although, to be candid. it was merely a mechanical operation with me, done for the sake of effect, as did not really care for the girl. I think she remained in maiden medita tion for two days, but at last I saw her, and she told me, with a deep blush, that she w'shed she had been born an American, to be kis ed like that. Dynamite In Europe. (New York Tribune. Dynamite, in fact, has put a tremend ous power in the hands of individuals, and has reinforced all revolutionary and seditious tendencies enormously, mak ing mere folly and fanaticism seriously dangerous, and increasing the natural bent of all lawless movements to gather strength as thev go on. And while a philosophy which discerns the fatuity of international quarrels has become widely diffused, the international pre parations for future fighting (at least in Europe) have never been so extensive; so that government? engaged largely in elaborating machinery for wholesale slaughter find it difficult to present the usual front desirable to the people who uphold the right of private warfare. What measures can be adopted to meet these important changes is as yet undetermined. Governments are be wildered, and show their perplexity only too plainly. And though the use of dynamite for the furtherance of po litical or other ends may be shown to be futile, it is evident that pure reason will not control those who resort to it, but that in this as in many other cases, the sight of means to do ill deeds, makes ill deeds done." The indica tions are that the new problem forced upon the world by the fertility of modern invention will give it serious trouble in the future. Not Afraid of "Shake." Chicago Herald "Train Talk." "My husband and I are going straight through to San 1 rancisco, said a mid' die-aged lady to a chance acquaintance on a Fnllman car. "We mean to make our home there in the future." "San Francisco!" ejaculated the other; "I wouldn't live in San Francisco for any thing. I think it is a perfectly awful place to live, xou don t know what minute you are going to have a terrible earthquake. My husband wanted me to go there, but I wouldnt go a step. Aren t you afraid i" . sio m the least. Whv, it makes me shudder to think of it, and I don't see how you can be so calm when yon are going where you are likely to have your house shaken down over your head." "My dear madame, replied the middle-aged lady, with a smile, "if yon had lived twenty years in the ague swamps of Michigan, as have, yo. wouldn't be afraid of any of the little one-horse shakes they have out in California." Learning; Wisdom. - Detroit Free Press. A Peasant who had Seven Daughters wearing out sole leather for him went to the Cave of a Wise Old Duffer, and besought his Advice as to how to bring them up. ; "Marry them off as soon as Possible, and yon can then Break np Housekeep ing and go Boarding among them. After a few Months the Father Re turned to the Cave and his phiz had such a Lonesome Expression that the Wise Man cried out: "Ah. vou must follow my Advice to learn Wisdom ! "The Trouble is that I did follow it, but instead of having seven places to board around at I have seven Soi in-law to board on me." Moral However, the Peasant had the Wisdom. Puzzling to Naturalists. Chicago Times. Milne-Edwards, the naturalist, is giv ing in Pans an interesting exhibition o submarine plants and animals found during his exploration of the Mediter ranean. He took soundings to the depth of 19,685 feet, and brought np some of the most remarkable organisms ever seen, i They are said to have puzzled the most accomplished natu ralists, some of them being of such nature as to make it difficult to classify them either as belonging to a botanical or zoological species. The dredgings were on a large scale, samples of rock weighing over 200 pounds being some times brought np. WORKING THE HOSPITALS. Scheme of a Burial Company's Agent Quick Sales and Small Profits. Chicago Herald "Meddler." A man with a decided stoop in his shoulders and a pair of before- the-wax saddle-bags walked into the oXce ol the warden of the county hospital and asked to see the captain, "lou mean the warden?" inquired the young man at the desk. "The man that runs the whole b'.ldin' is what l mean, answered tne visiter. "I don't know what new-fangled name you may have for him." ion want to see Mr. McUarigle. then." "If that's his name, that's the man." In response to a shrill whistle up a tin tube, which caused the visitor to make a tighter grip on his baggage, Warden McGarigle came in. "Is this him ?" asked the visitor. "I want to see you. privately." The warden led the way Into his private oaice and the visitor began to open the luggage. Cost much to run a hospital : in quired the curiosity, who began to fish in the bottom of the saddle-bags. The warden grunted. "Sick folks lot's rouble, j ain't they ever s'ck so's yon couldn't I hold up your head ? Lver hang out of the bed and feel as ef you wanted to tare up the floor and throw it out of the window?" . "You are very impudent. Now, what are you driving at what have you got in them saddle-bags ?" "Crampers ; dead sure shot." "Crampers? What is a cramper?" "Tell you, now that we are ac quainted ; I'm an agent for a new burial company that s just been organized. You know that competition is the life of trade quick sales and small profits a nimble shilling is better'n a slow sixpence three aces beats two pair. beer Aow, what we want is dead men. Want 'em bad, too. Got to have him in the business w're in. Mighty poor show so far. But here here's a cramper. We-raise ni; they are our own, and are the a Ivance agents, lou take one of these crampers, size of this, and cut it into slices the sicker the man the smaller the slice. Man eats it, thinks : it's a wafer dies ; there's lemme see three times four are twelve, and three times three are nine, and one you had lett over makes ten, and four that I forgot to count, that makes 10b don't it. Well, one of these cramp ers that we give way in Peory harvested us lOo think of that ! Of course, you understand we give you these cramp ers on condition that the company gets to furnish the burial case. We thought we'd work the hospitals first give you fellows first show. This is the first hospital I've been to in the city." That s a new name for it, laughed the warden, "that's a cucumber." " We call em crampers; they do the business. don't ; they ? But I see it's no use of wastin' time with you. You look to mo like a man who didn't believe in dyin' whi.h way do I get out?" Devotees Burled Alive In India. M. D. Conway's Letter. At last I approached a village, whose name was given to me as Daharwanga. It must be four or five mues from Alla habad. Having passed through it I came to a sort of a common, where I ot out of my carriage and walked. I ad not mo' ed far before I came upon a human head lying in my path on the ground. Starting back I perceived that this painted and ashen head, though its eyes were closed, belonged to a living man, the rest of his body being buried in ; the earth. A small tent had been raised over another head farther on to keep the sun from beating upon him. Scenes like thete began to multiply. I came upon several naked bodies, apparently decapitated, their heads being buried and the gravel smoothed flat over them. There were a number of children in this situation, stretching out their hands and evi dently expecting gifts. So li tie re spect, however, did their voung com panions feel for those infant devotees that they sometimes put bits of tin or flint t tones in the hands, which were promptly thrown away. I came to a point where a young woman was just burying a child ap parently her own up to the' neck. She indicated to me her expectation of pice for that performance, which, how ever, she did not get. I perceived that I was in some comparatively unil lumined spot which supplied a habitat for the fatal self-burials once so fre quent in India. The feeling stole over me gradually that in this uncanny Daharwanga "these half-buried children might, not sa long ago, have been really decapitate 1, even if a severe vig ilance might not discover some horror of the same kind now. Last Stage of Boyhood. The Providence Journal says of the high opinion held of himself by tbe boy who has reached 1G, the last stage of boyhood : There ia no question of which he has not a confident and all-disposing judgment. Why, if we were all lb'f there would be no need of congress nor of the supreme bench. We should each know it all. In religion his opinions are equally decidve. But do not under stand me, my friends, that in making fun of the boy, at this or any other period of his life, I mean to deprecate or discourage his aspirations. Far from it. I would not give a penny for the boy of 16 who did not try to be a man." Cared Ills Throat. ISanitarian. A gentleman was suffering from an ulceration of the throat, which at length became so swollen that his life was de spaired of. H's household came to his bedside to bid him farewell. Each in dividual shook hands with the dying man and then went away weeping. Last of all came a pet ape, and shaking the man's hand went away also with its hands over its eyes. It was so ludicrous a sight that the patient was forced to laugh, and laughed so heartily that the ulcer broke and his life was saved. A Bad State of Affair. Theodore Cuyler. Thousands of young men really have no home, except the parlor of a boarding-house, and no domestic property, except a trunk up in a third-story bod room. : "