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About The Douglas independent. (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885 | View Entire Issue (July 5, 1884)
THE niDEPEIIDELIT HAS THE FINEST JOB OFFICE IN DOUGLAS COUNTY. CARDS. BILL HEADS, LEGAL BLAMS, And other Printing, Including Isrie and Em Posters M Sliowj Hand-Bills, Neatly and expeditiously executed AT PORTLAND PRICES. u " UuiJ m n l i ta .. r i I III Douglas County Publishing Company. y eJJ One Year - - - - - - $2 50 Six Months ... ... 1 60 Three Months - .... l 00 1 These are the term of those paying In advance. The Independent offers fin Inducements to advertisers. Term reasonable. VOL. IX. ROSEBURG, OREGON, SATURDAY, JULY 5, 1884. NO. 13. THE IITDEPEITDE1IT ' IS ISSUED ' , SATURDAY MORNINGS, Br THE TfeS TITO raiTO 11 In HI I 11 &j mm I I II l s .- ti J. JASKULEK, PRACTICAL Watctaater. Jeweler ani Optician, ALL WORK "WARRANTED. Healer in Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, . Hpectacles and Eyeglasses. AND A FULL USE OF Cigass, Tobacco & Fancy Goods. Tht only reliable Optomer in town tor the proper adjust ment of Spectacles ; always on hand. Depot of the Genuine Brazilian Pebble Spec tacles and Eyeglasses. Office First Door South of Postofflce, RONEBUItG. OREGOX. LAITGEITBEEIG'S Boot and Shoe Store B08EBIJBG, OBECiOX, On J&ckson Street, Opposite tne Post .Office, Keeps on hand the largest and best assortment of Eastern and Kan Francisco Boots and Shoes, Gal tors, Slippers, And everything in the Boot and Shoe line, and SELLS CHEAP FOR CASH. Hoots and Shoes Made to Order, and Perfect Fit Guaranteed. ' I use the Best of Leather and Warran all my work. Repairing Neatly Done, on Short Notice. I keep always on hand TOYS AND NOTIONS. .Musical Instruments and Violin Strings a specialty. LOUIS LAXdIEXBEltG. DR. HU. W. DAVIS, S3 DENTIST, ROSEBUB6, OREGON, Office On Jackson Street, Up Stairs, Over S. Marks & Co.'s New Store. I.IAHONEY S SALOON, Nearest the Bail road Depot, Oakland. J AH. MAIIOXEY, . . . Proprietor The Finest Wines, Liquors and Cigars in Douglas County, and THE BEST BILLIARD TABLE IN THE STATE, KEPT IN PROPER REPAIR. Parties traveling on the railroad will find this place very handy to visit during the stopping of the train at the Oakland Depot. Give me a call JAS. MAI10NEY. JOHN PHASER, Home-Made Furniture, WIL.BUK, OREGON. UPHOLSTERY, SPRING MATTRESSES, ETC, Constantly on hand. FURNITURE. I have the Rest STOCK OF FURNITUTtK Bouth f Portland. And all of my own manufacture. No Two Prices to Customers. Residents of Douglas County are requested to give me a call before purchasing elsewhere. ALL WORK WARRANTED. DEPOT HOTEL, Oakland, Oregon. RICHARD THOMAS, Proprietor. This Hotel has been established for a num ber of years, and has become very pop ular with the traveling public. FIRST-CLASS SLEEPING ACCOMMODATIONS AND THE Table supplied with the Best the Market affords Hotel at the Depot of the Railroad. Ha,C. STANTON, DEALER IX Staple Dry. - Goods. Keeps constantly on hand a general assortment of Extra Fine Groceries, WOOD, WILLOW AND GLASSWARE, ALSO CROCKERY AND CORDAGE, A full stock of SCHOOL BOOKS. Such as required by the Public County Schools. All kinds of, Stationery, Toys and Fancy Articles, i TO SUIT BOTH TOUJiQ A!D OLD. Buys and Sells Legal Tenders, furnishes Cheoks on i'ortiano, ana procures Drafts on San Francisco. SEEDS I SEEDS I SEEDS! Ml KINDS OF THE BEST QUALITY. ALK, ORDERS . Promptly attended to and goods shipped with care. Address, II At II EX Y A UBNO, Portland. Oregon. Cannot Be Caricatured. Alex. E. S: weet in Texas Sittings. I admit the artists hive male frantic efforts to caricature the dade. but that is where the dude ha3 the advantage ot him. ne is so ridiculously absurd that lie cannot ba caricatured. It is impossible to burlesque a burlesque, or caricature that which is already a ;ari cjitnre. No caricature of the dude is half as amusing as the dude himself. lie is the only living creature that can uot be caricatured. THE FISHER'S DAUGHTER. F. ti. Stauffer.) The fisher's daughter walks the sand, She shades her brow with nervous hauJs, And gazes out beyond the strands. A wierd-like light the pale moon flings ; The gulls have folded up their wings; The caves give back resonant dins. The wavelets kiss her brown, bare feet ; She waits her father's step to greet. Was ever face more fair or sweet? A cabin s'ands on the nearest height, Within the window burns a light, A star upon the brow of. night. What speck is that? A snow-white sail? His fishing smack outrides the gale. What cry is that? His welcome hail, v A cheering sound above lha roar, The keel grates on the rocky Shore God's hand has kept him safe once more. Perhaps because of pray'r, you said? He lays his hand upon your head You wonder why you feel afraid. His wife sleeps on the sloping lea ; His only boy was lost at sea; There's no one left to him but thee! THE CRATER OF VESUVIUS. One of the Most Snblime Spectacles ' on the Faee of the Earth. St-. Louis G!obe-Imocrat. Dr. C, L. Gootlell, at the First Con gregational church, describes his visit to Vesuvius last month as follows: Leaving your carriage at the mountain railway you enter the car. The ascent is very steep and at one place almost perpen licular. The road makes no curve. The i car moves rapidly, and in ten minutes ycu are within less than a half-hour "a walk of the crater, lou mount a chair, and four stalwart mountaineers bear you through smoke and steam, midst the rumbling of the volcano and the melted lava, to the very edge of the bowl, in which, as in a mighty cauldron, the fiery mass seethe3 and rocks aud thunders and foams. It is terrifically grand. The mount ain seems filled with surging fire that rises up every half minute in awful ex plosion, throwing up colnmns of smoke dark as midnight and streaked with lurid fire. This melted matter falls back wit'i crashing, fearful sound, lodg ing in part on the edge of the crater. Before you are recovered from one stunning sensation another explosion breaks on you, iv ore overpowering than before, the steam coming up through every crevice at your feet, and the whole summit is enveloped in cloud. I he red lava, as it is thrown high m air in massive form, seems heated in the furnace of A ulcan, and as it falls back down into the boiling sea of liir the s'ght is no more terrible than the noise is astounding. The crater seems fike a mighty pit of liquid fire thrown np in burning waves from side to side, scorch ing, blistering and tearing all before it. Jtiow can the mountain endure such a strain? How can the eye bear such blinding brilliance of vast masses of fire ? The crater is two miles in cir cumference, and you must make the circuit. The terror of the upheaving fire, and shower of ashes and smoke and stones, does not abate. The trembling of the mountain strikes terror into strong nerves. 1 ou remember the tragical d; ath of the elder 1 1 ny nearly 2,000 years ago, and the thou sands that have been destroyed since. The explosions continue to deafen you. You remember the lone citv of Pom peii where you have spent the morning, and you decide not to spend the su ai mer there. It is the mod; sublime scene I ever witnessed. Nothing before ever made so deep and trexendous an impression It is the most acti e volcano m the world. Smoke never erases to float off from it as a long pennant from the head, and the crater never fails to show fire to those who visit it, and it may be seen almost every light from Naples. But on this bright day in March it spoke with a tongue of fire and a blackness of darkness nevtr to be forgotten. Its words were red hot boulders and I it? periods were ribbons of crimson. A Journalist's Opinion of the Stage. Leander Richardson.! Theae axe stage scandals. There are a good'many of them. The person who is familiar with the profession can scarcely 't down to write about half a do :en pie employed in the theatri cal r without having called to bis lid a do. en instances which convinces him of the rottenness of fcta re surrounding;. I don't think any ne who has followed my writings for anv length of time, and lived through the terrible ordeal, will acuse me of being particularly prudish, and therefore 1 ought to be heard when I sav that if I had a daughter, and she went on the stage, I should feel just as badly about it as though she had adopted another calling with a worse name. It is not that the stage itself is i otten so much as it is that the calling gi es opportunity for rotten things to approach it. i Boys and girls, I have been fooling around theatres for a long time now, and I know em fore and aft. Counsel your children and your friends to go to the theatres as spectators as oiten as they liKe, out never get stage- struck. ; Mrs. Langtry and Mr. Del for J. 1 Chicago Te.-;.' Congressman Belford, of Colorado, said that Mrs. Langti y was the hand somest woman who trol the American continent, in acknowledgment of which Mrs. lantry sent Mr. Belford -a mag nificent medallion portrait oi herself inclosed in an elaborate velvet case stndded with diamonds, pearls, ener el Is and rubles, with a note expressing her conviction that Mr relfordsre mark was the highest compliment ever taid her. She also asked for a lock o his hair to be placed in her album de voted to such mementos contributed by her most notable fr.'en Is, the prince of Wale?. Gladstone. Sir Charles Dilke Lord Lome, Bradlaugb, Bright, Sreneer. Mill, and other eminent per sons. Of course. Mr. Belford had to comply, and a lock of bright-red hair was remitted to Mrs. Langtry, with a felicitous note. - West Canadian Journalism. fRat Porta sre Progress 1 ' I still support my reputation by pub lishing a newspaper, and my family by sawing wocd. ANCIENT VIOLINS. Doctor's Test of the Superiority of His Cherished AraatL "Uncle Biil" in Chicago Herald A collection of old and celebrated violins is an exhibit in the Bartholdi statue show. To a casual observer thoy look ordinary and uninteresting. There are nine of them, and they are in a glass case that bears no label calculated to arouse enthusiasm. Ninety-nine vis itors in a hundred pass them t by con temptuously. "And they deserve it," said a bystander when this disregard of the treasures, was commented on. "There is no greater nonsense in the whole range of ancient violins. The very men who go into raptures over an old specimen can t tell you why or how it differs from the workmanship of the present day in the same line. ". ; "Ah! but think of the associations " urged an enthusiast, Dr. S. B, Tuthill, of Brooklyn. "Lookt at this Amati a geraijrfe specimen, with an authenticated history. It is more than 200 years old. Cardinal Ottibeni played it along about 1700. From the pomp of Catholic cere monial music making, it was transported to the court of England, where Handel himself accompanied its solos with a harpsichord. George III. drew a bow across it at the end of its first century. Thus it went from the hands of a pope to those of a royal profligate. After ward, it became the property of Ole Bull, who used it a great deal in his concerts, and left it to his widow." All this was pooh-poohed. Even Dr. Tuthill's own exhibit, another Amati. commanded no respect, though polite ness protected it from ridicule. Three countrymen came along. Two only gave a glance at the violins, but the third stopped at them. His remarks dis closed him as a fiddler; but he, too, was devoid of appreciation. He guessed he'd put his own fiddle into a glass box when he got home, and charge 50 cents to look at it. The doctor was nettled. "He is a Philistine, like the rest of yon," he said, "but I'll let him be a judge whether or not there is any extra merit in my Amati. He shall play it, and decide the question without influ ence." It was a morning hour, and the Academy of Design, in which the exhi bition is held, had only a score or so of inmates. The doctor removed his violin from the case. It is in almost constant use, and needed only a few scrapes and screw-turns to be ready for the trial. "I believe you play, my friend ?" he said to the countryman. "Oh, I only fiddle a little at home," was the diffident reply. A little urging, however, and he took up the valuable fiddle and its compara tively worthless bow. You can readily guess what he played. "Money Musk," of coarse ; and with that peculiar, rythmic swing that sets one's foot to snuffling almost uncontrollably to the figures of an imaginary reel, no matter what may be the critical opinion of the execution. There was no denying it. The rich, full, sweet tone was better than the average cf the sounds given out by violins. "Well, what do you think of that?" the doctor asked. "That's the best fiddle I ever drawed a bow across," was the reply; "what's the price of it ?" " Five thousand dollars." The precious instrument was for a moment in peril, for the fiddler seemed about to (1 rop it in surprise. A Xcw Departure in JLiteratnre. Cincinnati Enquirer Interview. "It will not be very long before the first writers of this country will sell their pens to advertisers. Just now more attention is paid to the newspaper and other ads, to space and style of type used; but I see indications that before long the matter itself will receive first attention. Tho idea is being worked by some houses now, who pub lish a few lines of interesting matter, with a taking heading, ahead of their ads.; but their ventures are only the pioneers, lou mark my words, the advertising columns of your newspapers will presently be filled with stories and poems from the first pens in this and other countries, which will hold the reader's attention to the end, and still be advertisements." "Do you think, then, that Alfred Tennyson would write an advertisement for a clothing house ? . "I do. He sold some verses on 'Spring' to an eastern juvenile publica tion la t month, not because he cared for the journal at all, but merely be cause they desired the verses as an ad vertisement and were willing to pay him a stiff price for them. Why, one of our Cincinnati soap manufacturers has the first artists in this country at work turning oat picture advertisements for him, and artists as a class are quite as proud as literary men. When the time comes the new departure will put money into the pockets as well of the advertisers as the writers. Her Financiering; Chicago Tribune. Mr. Vereker had occasion to leave home for a couple of weeks lately, so he signed a dozen blank checks and left them with Mrs. Vereker that the house keeping might not come to an untimely end during his absence, and that the old lady might have wherewithal to console herself during her grass-widow hood. When V ereker returned the other day t e found a notification from the bank that his account was over drawn. Considerably exercised he called Mrs. Y.'s attention to the fact. "Here, my dear, voa must have been spending money like m ater while I was away. I find my account is overdrawn." "O, that's impossible," replied the lady; "I have several of vour checks on hand yet." -- ITonld Jnt Suit Him. Exchange. "I sh'd jes' like ter see the teacher wollop me once," remarked Jimmy Tuff boy at the table the other evening. "So would I " sdJ Tuff boy pere. "Mind you, I shall not care if the teacher thrashes you within an inch of your life, that is, if you deserve it." 'Well, I shall try to deserve it," muttered Jimmy under his breath. "If I can deserve it without gettin' it, that will I jes' suit me. Itlexlcan "Freedom of the House.' Chihuahua Letter, j -j w Arrived at my host's house he greeted me most cordially, assured me again and again of his friendship, and j con ducted me to a school-room to see his daughters. There were five, all pretty, the eldest lovable. They ranged in age from 8 to 17 years. They stood in line, in schoolgirl fashion, as if about to make a recitation. Blushes 1 suf fused their countenances, but they cast at me many a coquettish glance. The father looked at them a moment proudly and then introduced me, after whichhe astounded me by telling me I must make a choice of one of his daughters for betrothal to her. I thought he was joking, and made some remark in pleasantry, when he repeated his statement, and demeaned himself so gravely the while that I was j con vinced he was in earnest. I scarcely know how the scene termi nated, for I becama ver confused and did a great deal of unnecessary talking, just as a young man doe i when partly intoxicated he thinks of some plan! for pleasure that his better sense bids him to forego; but I think I lied to the gen tleman by telling him I had a wife; and children. The next day he informed me the betrothal was an act of courtesy toward an ultra-favored guest, j was extended to highly distinguished per son as a rule, and signified nothing more than that the person so honored had the "freedom of the house." The granting of this privilege is indeed an honor, for no one but a near relative to a Mex:can woman may, unaccom panied by a near relative, enter any part of an aristocrat's residence where the females of the household resort. Even the parlor, therefore, is saered from intrusion unless one be accepted on the intima'e footing accorded one betrothed, who then : becomes as a brother. Should he violate the trust reposed in him, nothing on earth would be more contemned. His punishment would be sure, and his life ifould be the price of his wrong. A Poisoned Grave-Robber. Chicago Times. A prisoner in the jail at Louisville has a curiously deformed nose, which is the result of grave-robbing, a business in which he was engaged. Several months ago he entered a cemetery with the pur pose of "snatching" a "stiff" for a med ical college. The "subject" he ex humed was slightly decomposed, and in removing the corpse from the grave to the wagon, Gaddy got some of the poisoned blood on his hands. He was careless aud in a hurry, and didn't take time to clean his hands. He had not gone far before he did someth'ng to cause an abrasion on the nose. Thought lessly he touched the wound with the poisoned blood on his finger3. From the contagion septicaemia ensued, and Gaddy 's nose became a physical wreck. Elephants in Pasture. Chicago Herald. The Malay style of feeding elephants has certainly the merit of simplicity. When the day's work on the farm is done they are turned out into the jungle to find their own food ; and so they go rambling about all night, pulling and tearing away at any tree or shrub they fancy. When morning comes the drivers, tracing them by their own apparent marks, put the driving-hooks over their ear3 and lead them off to work. Elephant? seem to graze in a forest quite as contentedly as cattle in a pasture. Their ability toTscramble up and down apparently impassable places is wonderful, and a recent traveler through that land says that he has seen them break the branches off : coffee trees in order to fan away the flies. It Reminded Illm of His Mother's Cooking. Philadelphia Call. Mr. B. These biscuits remind me of mother's. Mrs. B. Well, I declare! Have you gone crazy? Mr. B. Cra'.y, my dear? Of course not. Mrs. B. Well, I never expected to hear you say that any of my cooking resembled your mother s. She was a wonderful cook. I have no doubt, for you have said so a million times. Mr. B. Yes, she certainly was. In fact there wai only one dish that she ever f riled in. Mrs. B. What was that? Mr. B. Biscuits. . Concerning Food. Atlanta Constitution. Sugar is a constituent of every arti- ole of food. Children could not live without it ; it is fattening, but its im moderate use destroys health and appe tite ; it is heating, and live starch con sists only of carbon aud water. Insects called sugar mites inhabit brown sugar. Articles needed by the body for fat and heat making are sugar, fat, butter, oil, and molasses. For muscle, lean meat, cheese, oat meal, beans and peas. 1 or brain and nerves, unbolted spur, bar lev, eggs, verv active fishes and birds. Green vegetables, fruit and berries furnish the acid and water needed. Richard's Tar and Feathers. f Chicago Herald. J One of Bichard Cctur de Lion's or dinances for seamen was "that if any moT ti'oto tnlron with tliAft and Tu1ffirv. and thereof convicted, he should have his head polled and hot pitch poured Upon his paie, auu upuu mas me feathers oi some pillow or cushion shaken aloft that he might thereby be known as a thief, and at the next arri val of the ships to any- land be put , a - itr. forth of tne company 10 sees ms ad ventures without all hope of return unto his fellows. Only When the Wind Blows. Scientific Journal. A flower has been discovered in South America which is only visible when the wind is blowing. The shrub belongs to the cactus family, and is about thrse feet-high, with a crook at the top, giv ing it the appearance of a black hick ory cane. When the wind blows a number of beautiful flowers protrude r i-i i! -i . . 1 i ,1 irommiie lumps on me siaiK. Longfellow : Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrow which the world knows uot, and ' oftentimes wo call a man cold when, ho is only sad. MAKING BUSTS IN WAX. A Work Requiring Time and Pa tience -Interesting Details. Nevr York SunJ The bust made in clay reproduces the full outline of the head, with the hair and beard as worn. After the bust is finished the parts representing the hair and beard are shaved oft", and a plaster of pans cast of the bust is taken. Into this mold the white wax, especially pre pared to enable it to resist heat, cold and dampness, is poured. It comes out a pale indication of how the subjet-t would look if every spear of his hair was plucked from his head and every sprout from his face. Th s object is then taken to the hair shop, where the artist who was present at the sitt ng di rects the nice w ork of providing the wax bust with hair that shall not take away all tracea of resemblance to the original. Natural hair of the eact shade is selected, crray being inter mixed if required. Each hair of the head, beard and eyebrows is inserted separately with a needle-like instrument. lhe work requires time and patience. For the beard coarse hair of the re quired shade is prepared, and curled if necessary. The shaven chins and cheeks of the dark-haired men are "pinked" with a small sharp instru ment, black coloring matter is sifted on, and the faco is wiped. Onlv the par ticles of black substance in the little holes remain, and the face has the ap pearance of having been closely shaven. The glass eyes, carefully made in imi tation of the original, are inserted, and the eye-lashes put in. The artist who attended the sittings paints the wax head. Ihis is a work of considerable nicety, for there is great diversity of complexion in persons of types that would present very little diflerence to the unprofessional eye. Few fair per sons could exchange complexions with out greatly altering their appearance. The same is true of dark persons in about the same degree. As in making up wees for the stage, it is desirable to magnify the most distinctive charac-teristie--to make a pale person a little paler,- to give a florid person a little more color; to make a person of dark complexion a trifle darker than in life. Otherwise the public would not find present in a satisfactory djegree the characteristics which they have ob served and have remembered as being distinctive, and have magnified in their remembrance. The hair is cut and the whiskers are trimmel under the direction of the art ist. Care is taken to cut and trim down to the dimensions shown in the photographs and sketches. A Very Strange Disease. British MedicalJournaL The recent bereavement in the royal family will naturally turn the attention of the medical public toward the consti tutional affection to which the illustrious deceased was subject. There is no dis tinct mention of haemophilia in any classical or mediaeval writer. Haepmhilia, as a rule, attacks the males of a family, and leaves the females exempt ; but genealogical records show the strong tendency which this disease possesses of dissemination into other families by intermarriage; sisters of "bleed ers" marrying have been repeat edly found to become the mothers of boys who were "bleeders" like their uncles, and of girls who were nob "bleeders," but who bore male "bleeders" after their marriage, and fe male children who perpetuated by mar riage the disease from which they were personally free. A similar kind of perpetuation of a disease common in males through fe male members of affected families, has been observed with regard to Duch enne's pseudo-hyper-tropic paralysis, diabetes insipidus and color blindness. The pathology of hemophilia, or the hemorrhagic diethesis, is still obscure. Dr. Percy Kidd, in one case, detected a peculiar appearance in the muscular coat of the arteries of a child aged 6, who died in the Ormond Street hospi tal, in 1877, of hemorrhage from the mouth after having been a bleeder" for four months. Whetl They Sneeze. Chicago Journal. A great many persons say "Godble:s us," when they sneeze. The follow ing explains the origin of the practice : "According to the rabbinical theory it was originally ordained that men should sneeze but once, in that act, possible only when the time of death had come, giving up the ghost. Lut the pa n- arch Jacob, feeling that such a sudden call allowed no time for the settlement of worldly affairs and for preparation for the hereafter, prayed for exemption from the rule, and in answer to his prayer was allowed to sneeze and not die. The change was regarded as a great benefit, and 'all the princes of the uni verse, when they heard it, ordered that for the future sneezing should be ac companied with thanksgiving for the preservation of life and earnest wishes for its prolongation.' Hence the cus tom which has prevailed among all nations of uttering some form Of sa lutation on the occasion of the act. A very common ejaculation among old English people on sneezing is 'God bless us!' which generally sounds more humorous than reverential under the circumstances." Paper Towels for Surgeons. The Polyclinic states that the use of paper towels in cleansing wonnds has been found very satisfactory, bponges have always been regarded w;th sus picion by surgeon, as it is so difficult to keep them in a perfectly , purified condition. But the paper towels are to be used once only, and as they cost only from $6 to $7.50 per 1,000, are avilable in the sick-room. They are from Japan, and the pale colors with which they are decorated are ; found to be un objectionable. When It Strikes Him. (Norristown Herald. Herbert Spencer's lucid remark that an incidental force falling on an ag' gregate containing like and unlike units, segregates the like units and sep arates the unlike, never stEiies a young man so forcibly as when a tailor refuses to trust him ior a new spring suit. Cables and Their Cost. . (New York Herald. The cables at present in use, with their cost, are : Anglo-American, four cables, cost $33,000,000; Direct United States, one cable, $7,000,000; Pouyer Quertier, one cable, $3,400,000; Gould's American, t wo cables, $13,000,000. The cable lines leased by the Western Union therefore represents a cost of $64,400, 000, or $8,050,000 each. For tlm ex penditure thev have four old cables, laid in 1869 1872, 1873, and 1874, and four newer ones, laid in 1880 ' and 1881 respectively. In order to pay per cent, on the capital invested, the Western Union companies require $3,320,000 net earnings per annum. The joint companies have to pro- vfde a renewal fund for very old cables, whereas the new company will re juire very little for years to come. The joint companies have to support four boards of directors, four oSice ' staff and other machinery amounting to O' er $1,000,000 per annumVT ,1 rf The volume of cable business cn a tariff of one shilling per word has been estimated at 30,000,000 words per annum, Allowing to the joint com panies 20,000,000 words, their revenue would be $5,000,000 f their working ex penses being, sav, $1,250,003 and their renewal fund Sl.500,000, their net earnings would be only $2,250,000, or 3J per cent, on the capital. A new company with two cables, doing the re maining 10,000,000 words business at a shilling tariff could earn $2,500,000. Allowing working expenses of $280,000 and a renewal fund of the same amount, this estimate (which has been made by The London Pall Mall Gazette) would leave a net profit of nearly $2,000,000, or over 25 per cent. on the capital. Charles Reade's Grave. Luii'lou Time. Charles Beade vrts buried in the same grave, side by side, with a lady who, together with her husband, had been an almost life-long friend of his, and to whose memory he erected a marble tomb with the following inscrip tion, composed by Mr. Beade himself: "Here lies the great heart of Laura Seymour, a brilliant artist, a humble Christian, a charitable woman,, a loving daughter, sister and f fiend, who lived for others from her childhood. Tend erly pitiful to all God's creatures, even to some that are frequently destroyed or neglectel, she wiped away the tears from many faces, helping the poor with her savings and clothing the sor rowful with her earnest pity. When the eye saw her it blessed her, for her face was sunshine, her voice was melody, and her heart was sympathy. Truth could say moie, and sorrow pines to enlarge upon her virtues; but this would ill aseord with her humility, who justly disclaimel them all and relied only on the merits of her redeemer. After months of? acute suffering, borne with gentle resignation, and with sorrow for those who were to lose her, not for herself.she was released from her burden and fell asleep in Jesus Sept. 27, 1879, aged 59 years. 'Blessed are the merci ful for they shall obtain mercy' (Matt, v. 7). This grave was made for her, and for himself , by Charles Keale, who ;e wise councillor, loyal ally and bosom friend, she wa for twenty-four years and who mourns her all his days." Mrs. Seymour was in her time an actress of me celebrity. Among the Trapplsts. Kentucky L'jttcr.l " -Writing of the Trappists of Gethse- mane, ivy., a correspondent says: When a Monk die "No useless coffin incloses his breast, but, wrapped in his circular, with his cowl drawn over his head as in life, he u buried. Each grave is covered with myrtle and has a black wooden cross bearing the name of the cell's dusty inmate. At the foot of each grave is a little stool, where the father who conducts you kneels to pray for the soul of the departed. At the end of the row is a new, open grave, which will receive the next body, and which constantly helps the father to "remember death." There are no qualifications for the Trappist order. Any man who will obey the ruleSg-may stay seven years, giving his labor to the community and his thoughts to Gol, and if he does not like it then he may withdraw. If he concludes to stay he takes the pert etual vow. The sin-skk and the weary are all here. Few desert, while many have been for years buried to the world and its little convulsions. Somo of them do not know who is president, and the echo of Guiteau's pistol-shot died at the outer walls. The abbey contains a fine library of religious works, among which is a Bible printed at Lyons in 1532." Two Snobs and Two Dukes. Lond n Truth. J There was a story about the late duke of Baccleuch which went "the round of the newspaper." some years ago. He and the then dufc of North umberland found themselves in a car riage going northward with a com mercial traveler, v The conversation was general between the three. At Ainwick station the duke of NorthunV berland got out, and was borne away in a showy equipage. "That must be a swell," said the commercial traveler. "Do you know who it is?" "The duke of Northumberland." replied his grace of Buccleuch. "And they say," ex claimed the traveler, "that our nobiiity is haughty! ;Wby he talked to two snobs like you and me as though we had been his pals I" Giving Himself Away. YonkiMj S afo'sniao. "Where were you last Sanday, Rob bie?" asked the teacher of one of the brightest scholars in her Sunday-school class. i "My mother kept me home." "Now, Bobbie, do you know where little boys go to when they play truant from bunday-school i "Yes, ma'am " "Where?" "They go fishinT exclaimed the boy, letting the whole feline family out of the paper envelope. Struck a lien. At Augusta, Ga., the other day, light ning struck a hen that was setting on a nest of eggs, 'l he poor biddy was com pletely roasted by the fierce heat and picked clean. A CORNER ON ICE. Hinging the Various Chanses on a Pall ef Cold Water. Dttroit Free Pross. , The first man to strike the corner where the porter had thrown a pail of water over the flag-stones and produced a glare of ice, was an insurance agent. He slid to the right, clawed to the left, clutched at a sunbeam, and went down with the exclamation : "Hanged if I don't P He rose up to jaw and threaten and collect a crowd and almost lick " somebody, and he went away stirred up for all day. The next man was a tailor tall, spare and solemn. His toes all of a sudden turned out, his left leg was lifted, and he spun once and a half around before he went down with the remark : "I Inew 'twould happen !" He got up to hurry along out of sight, and it wa3 easy to see that he had cal culated on about so many falls for the winter. The next was a fleshy man with a smiling face and an air of good nature. He didn't lose any time going down, and when he struck he realized that he had hit something. And yet what he said was: "Is it possible!" He got up slowly, forced a grin as the boys chaffed him, and looked back three times to make sure that he hadn't made a hole which would prove a man-trap for other pedestrians. The next was a bank clerk with a pencil over his ear and a preoccupied mind. He was swinging his right hand and rushing ahead when he suddenly saw billions of stars shining in the morning sky. His first thought was that somebody was celebrating Fourth of July ; his next was to scrabble up and search for an asylum where he could hunt up his collar button and splice his suspenders. Not a word escaped him until he was a block away. Then he remanked : "At six per cent, it would be $854.17." The next man was a strapping big fellow with an ulster on and a red silk handkerchief hanging out of a pocket. He began a short of shuffle as he struck the spot, increased it in a minute to a "breakdown," and finally went down with a whoop that was heard half a block away. He was up in a moment. Diagonally across the street he saw a man in an express wagon. The boys called to him that he had lost hi3 rod handkerchief, and that his nose would sadly miss it, but he would not wait. He strode across the street and up to the wagon, and as he hauled off and hit the driver a stinger on the ear he growled out : "There, hang you! That's makes us even!"" "What even!" shouted the victim as he rose up and adjusted his cap, but the other was gone. A Cheap John Utilizes the Slachin ery of a Court of Justice. San Francisco Post. When the defendant took the stand his honor said : "Prisoner, you are charged with hav ing removed the goblet from the hand of the Cogswell statue, substituting a pair of two-bit suspenders, with a pla card calling attention to your establish ment across the way." "Well, shudge," replied the offender with an ingratiating smile, "of gorse I vants to get along in peesness." -"After which," continued the court, sternly, ' 'you substituted a lot of neck ties for the suspenders, and attached to the other hand a lot of bills referring to your new stock of gum shoes and hair oil." "Dose hair oil is fust rate, your honor," said the defendant. "I vould like to sell you a pottle." And yesterday, continued the court, consulting the indictment, "you ob structed the thoroughfares and created a disturbance by placing a paper collar and a plug hat on the statue in ques tion." . "Dose blug . hat is cheap at $4, shudge. Moses Levy sharges fife und a halef .vor dem same kind," returned the trader cheerfully ; "I beats dose f el lers ef ery dimes." "And at night," went on his honor, "at night it appears you placed in the figure's hand a transparency containing a further advertisement of your wares. Now, this is most improper and repre hensible." "Dot's right, shudge," said Mr. Solo mons, delightedly. "Bitch into me off you blease. Spheak loudt, so dose noosbaper vellers gan hear you," and he smiled benignantly upon the report ers. ;V "Qxe&t heavens," thundered the. court, as a frightful idea struck him. "Is it possible you have the mendacity to use the machinery of this court as an ad vertising dodge?" "Dot's it, dot's it, shudge ?" exclaimed the Cheap John, rubbing his hands ex ultantly. "I swore oud der gomplaint myself." Better Than Water. Detroit Free Press. "Understand that you had a fire at your house yesterday," said a gentle man to his friend Col. Snagwell. "Yes, house caught fire." "Suppose the firemen did ' effective work?" "No, they didn't get there in time. "You threw water very promptly on the flames, eh?" "No, didn't use any water." "How did you put it out?" "Went out." "That's singular." "Not at all. The other day I bought a load of kindling wood from a country man. I had it cut up and stacked in the kitchen. When I saw the fire burn ing in that direction I felt pretty safe, and I was not disappointed, for when it reached the kindling wood it went out." . The tiarcest Oleander. Chicago Times. Probably the largest oleander tree in the world is near Spanishtown, Fla. It covers a space of ground thirty-six feet in diameter; from the ground to the tip of the topmost limb is twenty-five feet; at the surface of the ground the trunk is divided ; into twenty or twenty-five separate stems, the group being at least five feet through, and one single stem is,- by actual measurement, fourteen 1 inches thick.