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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 20, 1903)
TOPICS OF THE TIMES. A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER. ESTINQ ITEMS. Commeata aad Criticisms Baaed TJpo the Happenings of the Day U is tori cal mad Nawa Notes. Apparently It Is the open season In Macedonia for almost everything. It sometimes happens that the wom an who is disappointed in love isn't disappointed In marriage. It Is announced that Alaska's great need Is wagon roads. We thought cli mate was its principal lack. It is quite probable that a speedily forthcoming theatrical venture will be "Ths Van Wormer Brothers." Thus we see that if an editor says something severe about you in his pa per, and you kill him. it is a case of self-defense. David M. Parry will go right ahead solving the labor problem unless he can be diverted to the Mary and Ann controversy. Another "expert" has discovered the secret of determining sex at will, and Nature will laugh him to scorn as she has all his predecessors. , - V.lV. mits you to violate the law with Im punity so long as the responsible offi cials raise no objections. The Sultan of Turkey has levied a heavy war tax. Thought the old bird hadn't even a pluckable pin feather; but Abdul knows how to use tweezers. Even though the "government sci entists prove that people eat too much. It will be a difficult task to effect a reformation unless hard times return. Oh, horrors! We spend more on chewing gum than on missions! Ah, font by keeping some jaws busy, other wise than in talk, we do the best kind of mission work. Capital punishment might restrain crime if all murderers were put to death, but no. such execution of the law is to' be expected while human nature is what is Is now. An investigator with a microscope and a large stock of patience has fonnd out that there are 200 kinds of mos quitoes. Some men are never happy except when they are digging up tron ble for other people. As safe blowers have learned to use electricity to promote their ends, the nimble pickpocket may acquire the art f the X-ray operator to locate the de sired purse. In the progress of science the wicked are not without their share. The Shah of Persia still has some very old-fashioned notions. For one thing, he Insists on doing his own offi cial poisoning when he wishes to put any of his loving subjects out of the way. Some crowned heads are so fussy over these things. ? '! One hundred and fourteen miles an hour was the speed attained by an experimental train on a new military railway in Germany, and it is hoped to run a train at the rate of two hun dred miles in the same time. As pre paredness for war means avoidance of It nowadays, this indicates the Ger man disposition to hasten toward peace at a pretty rapid pace. '""- The agreement between Great ; Bri tain and France for a treaty of ar bitration of commercial and political differences is the most important vic tory , for the arbitral principle since the establishment of the tribunal of The Hague. Particularly Is this agree ment noteworthy because effected be tween traditional enemies who for centuries have been at war. Americans have occasion to regret on excellent feature in British ad in';.i: -Oration. Under the system long i:i u.e by that government diplomacy is a profession. Men start at tiie bot tom as attaches or consuls and go up by promotion or merit to the highest place, which is ambassador. This se cures in the service officers who are acquainted with many countries, who peak many languages and have the kill In diplomacy acquired by experi ence. It is Tar different from our eatch-aa-catch-can system, which of fers no . career either in consular . or diplomatic service. The reluctance with which some per sons took up the duties of life when, the holiday season ended has reminded a correspondent that at the beginning of September the men of the Scotch shipyards sometimes resort - to the sporting method of a "toss-up" wheth er they shall return to work or not A brick is thrown Into the air. If it stays up the men go back to the yard.' If the brick comes down the holiday is extended. To tired persons who be lieve in "luck" and govern their lives accordingly, this experiment can al ways be depended upon to yield satis factory results. The frequency with which dangerous cranks seek to gain access to the presi dent should put an end for all time to those senseless public receptions at Which the president is expected to stand up and let hundreds of - people file in and shake his hand. This de generate survival of the royal levee baa long been an outrageous nuisance. It has been used as an advertising card for Washington excursion business and parties of tourists have been taken to Che receptions by a guide and put In line to shake bands with the president, Our president is not a king or a show piece of any' kind, but a republican magistrate, with important public bust ness to attend to, and nobody ought to have access to him for the gratl ncatlon of idle curiosity. yew trade movements of recent years have been more notable than the increased demand of our none for the productions of the tropics. From the United States is now bringing In four times as many pounds of coffee, Bugarandriceas it did in 1870, twice as much' tea, five times as much india rubber, and twenty-six times as mucli i silk. Improvements In transportation 1 have enabled this remarkable develop ment to take place. Better steamship facilities, perfected cold storage appliances- and the canning Industry have brought within reasonable price many fruits which were formerly too expensive for general use. Even ban anas, which are easily transported, sold for eight cents each in country stores in 1870. A Harvard professor relates that when he was a . student In college he used to welcome an in vitation to dine with a certain famlly because they served bananas. Many other tropical products now abundant ly used were the luxuries of a genera tion ago. Their lowering cost on one side and the increased means of the American public on the other have re sulted in an extraordinary Increase in their use. Sugar and other articles, which only a few years ago were em ployed sparingly in many frugal house holds, have become so cheap that there is now little restraint on their use. Similarly, there has been a great in crease In the use of wheat and kero sene oil by the people of the tropics. "Very fittingly have the British made botanical gardens a chief object of Interest in many of their tropical cities, like Singapore, or like Kandy in Cey lon. The familiar household names of their luxuriant trees and shrubs re mind the visitor of the new depend ence of the modern world upon the pe culiar growths of the perpetual, sum-J mer. In New York a woman with three children walked the streets searching for a home. They found lodging in a basement, and were told to "move on" by the landlord. Her character was all right She had references. The children were the ordinary kind of boys and girls healthy and noisy. She bad money. She couldn't pay for a palace, but she was ready to settle in advance for a modest apartment. The children were not wanted. They were the obstacles, Impediments, fiat nuisances. That is why the landlords said, "Move on." It is why they say "move on" in other cities. It isn't right If our boasted civilization has reached a point where a place called home has children blacklisted, it Isn't home at alL If a boycott on the little folks is to be a part of life in a flat then flats are by no means a bless ing. This a world of averages. You have got to put up with some things that you do not like, and you should accept the noise made by the neigh bors' children gracefully, and thank God that they can laugh and shout and romp and be happy. The man or woman who is grouchy because of chil dren isn't right There must be some thing wrong inside. The life that doesn't Include Joy in the reflected hap piness of boys and girls is a narrow life. Don't blame the landlords too much. They didn't bar children be cause they are naturally hard-hearted. Grumpy men and fretful women com plained that other people's babies were a nuisance. The -gruff old 'bachelor refused to find any music in the merry laugh of a child, and few women found dogs better company than chil dren. It is business to supply a de mand, and so the landlords of .count less flat buildings rubbed their' hands and said to mothers and fathers of fine families: "Very sorry, but we can't rent to you because of your broods." Once upon a time France discouraged children. It was the great est mistake ever made by a nation. France has not recovered f rom ' the error; to this day,- Perhaps she never will. Isn't there danger for America in flat regulations .that provide that "hi children need apply." Tragedy in Punctuation. n:t. gj "was after, Longed for fashion's swim. But she said, with laughter, She cared 0 for him. ? he propounded. Caused no exultation, ' Then became dumfounded At her ! 'Twas like heaping : Fire burning hot. For he'd staked his soul on Marriage with a . Soon he made a for - Nearest exit gate, Found he had no cash for ' ; Dinner that he 8. Quickly she relented, Wrote that she'd be hia, Told him she repented In ( ) - ,- Now they're living double, Happy, strong and well; . It seems the cause of trouble Was a deadly j Philadelphia Telegraph. Beds and Bedsteads. Bedstead originally meant "the bed's place." The truckle-bed was the first advance on the bench, ' and then the tester suspended from the roof. Then came in the Arabian bed a name, per haps, derived from the Crusades. The four-poster came from Austria in the fifteenth century. The late Queen Vic toria always carried her bedstead about with her, and so did the nobles in the Middle Ages. The coverlid, or counterpoint, whence comes counter pane, was often splendidly embroider ed. Yet the beds at this time were often only sacks of straw. Feather beds came from France In the four teenth century but- straw was In gen eral use long after. Blankets of wool were not introduced by Blanket of Bristol, who made them, for the word m the sense of a coarse woollen fabric existed before. Tb Latest Aaarealat Sear. (Sketched on the Foot -ball Ground.) -Pick-Me-TTp, She Ada has married one man out of a thousand. He Well, how many did you expect her to marry? Ethel I didn't know that your Aunt Dorothy was married. Reggie Well, she is. I guess I know, 'cause I went to her funeral! LIpplneott's. She lost her head when be proposed, but he, a trifle bolder, made search Tor it distractedly, and found it on his shoulder. Philadelphia Record. Rooney Where did ye git th black eye, Moike? Clancy Why, Tim Do lan's just back from his honeymoon an' 'twas me advised Tim t git mar ried. Judge. v "Don't you think that woman's clever?" "Clever! Why, she's so clever she can make all her clothes without other women knowing it!" Brooklyn Life. She I trust, Jack, our marriage will not be against your father's will. Jack I'm sure I hope not It would be mighty hard for us if he should change it Town and Country. N Chlmmy How much fer dat dia mond ring in dere de big one? Jewel er1 Four hundred dollars. Chimmy Say, Mag, would yer sooner hev dat er a plate uv ice cream? Snapp He's got a scheme for mak ing money that seems to be all right in theory. Skrapp Huh! All men with theories are fools. Snapp Indeed? Thafs your theory, is it? Philadel phia .Ledger. Briggs It's too bad about Winkle and the girl he's engaged to. Neither of them is good enough for the other. Griggs What makes you think that? "Well I've been talking the matter over with both families." Life. "This is a pretty time of night for that girl next door to be playing the piano!" remarked an Indignant lady to her husband. "Oh, she's no respec tor of time! Yon can tell that from the way she's playing!" rejoined he. Husband? Where did you get that sideboard? Wife At an auction, for $100. Husband Awful! I could have bought the same thing for $50. Wife Well, I wasn't going to let that wom an across the way outbid me. Brook lyn Life. He The astrologer described you exactly and said that I should marry you. She Don't you think it was a waste of money to consult him? He Why? She I could have told you the same thing myself if you had asked me! . " Man Dressmaker Well, what now? Apprentice I have discovered a way to make a woman's dress so that she will look like a hump-backed baboon with bat's wings. Man Dressmaker Glorious! It will become the rage. New York Weekly. "It is her proud boast that she has never heard an opera in her life." "You must be mistaken. She isn't a Puritan. at all, but quite a gay society girl." "That's just it. She never goes to the opera except as one of a box party." Philadelphia Press. He (as they were seated in a quiet nook near the links) Are you quite sure we have never met before this season? She Yes; quite positive. H And you haven't a sister? She No; why do you ask? He Well, I'm posi tjve I hugged that blouse before, some where. "Aren't there some jealousies in your progressive euchre club?' "No, in deed," answered young Mrs. Torkins; "when we buy prizes we are always careful to select things that no one really wants, so that the winner will not be an object of envy." Washing ton Star. Mr. Kidder Ah, how-der-do, doctor! If you have a few minutes to spare I wish you would, come over to my house and chloroform my youngest boy. Dr. Price What is the matter with the. lad? Mr. Kidder Oh, his mother wants to comb his hair. Har per's Bazar. Creditor "See, here! Now that you've come in, for some money, why don't you pay my bill?" Slopay "Cer tainly er I beg pardon what is your name?" Creditor "Zlegler." Slopay "Sorry, but you'll have to wait I'm paying, my creditors! in alphabetical order." Philadelphia Press. "No," said the fair proprietor of the refrigerator heart, "I cannot be your wife, but I'll be a slater to, you." "Thanks, awfully," rejoined the youth who was left at the poet. "If there is one thing I need more than another it ia an elderly " sister to - look after me and prevent me from making a fool of myself." Chicago Daily News. A girl about five years of age was wandering around the other day, when a policeman espied her, and asked, "Where you going, sissy ?"-"Going home." "Where is your home?" "I can't find it" "Can't you? Then I'm afraid you are lost." "Oh. no. I ain't!" she promptly replied.' "I'm right here but home is lost I wish you'd be good and find it for me." Aunt Jane They tell me you took fifty dollars of Mr. Young's money at the card table last night. I did not know that you ever gambled. Nephew That. wasn't gambling, auntie. Young was quite elated at the hand be held," and I bet with him merely to give him a lesson not to trust too much to appearances.- Aunt Jane Oh, that was it, was It? I thought you wouldn't be so wicked as to gamble. BostonTranscript. Toothsome Coal. . A stroller through a big department store in the shopping district was as tonished to come upon a generous hod of anthracite standing on a counter. "Mercy me!" she ejaculated; "selling coal right here in the middle of the store?" Looking farther she saw a sign, "$300 a ton; good to eat; not to burn," and discovered itwas candy. New York Times. ' " When a woman is no longer able to make a man jealous she may a well five It up as a bad job. ' CHURCH SHIPPED BY FREIGHT. Here Is one of the greatest curiosities In church architecture.. The edifice stands in Elchwald, Bohemia, the idyllic health resort near Tepllfcz Schoeneau, which is the property of the millionaire Princ e Clary-Aldringen. During a visit last year in Venice be saw the beautiful church of the Ma donna dell' Orta and was so charmed with its architectural perfection and artistic excellence that -'he commis sioned the Venetian architect, Pietro Bigaglla, to have an exact f ac simile of the sanctuary constructed, and in Venice. The various parts of the build ing were made of Veronese marble and Italian plaster, carefully numbered and packed in thousands of boxes. These were' shipped to Elchwald, where an other architect was employed to super Intend the putting together of all the parts according to the original plan. The freight am the-boxes and the cart age from the depot to the church site CHIEF JUSTICE ALVERSTONE. Hia Vote Settled Boundary Question in America1! Favor. The settlement of the Alaskan boun dary dispute in favor of the Americans is due to Lord Chief Justice Alverstone, who voted with the Americans for all the points claimed by them except two. This has been a bone of contention be t w e e n the two countries for many years and would still be unsettled but for the agree ment between Am- aiverstonk. bassador Herbert and Secretary Hay, signed In January, under which each country appointed three commissioners. "" Those of the United States were Elihu Root, Senator Lodge and ex-Senator George F.' Turn er, and the representatives of Great CAflADMtH aouHDAKVUne.ClAlK&O. 1 I j Britain were Lord Chief Justice Alver stone, Sir Louis Jette. Lieutenant Gov ernor of Quebec, and A. B. Aylesworth. . -Under the terms of the treaty it was not possible for the commissioners to transfer Dyes, Skagway, J niveau of any other American city from Amer ica to British jurisdiction. But it did lea ve ' opeBA the -question -whether the. British could get to tidewater. This had always been the Issue. The treaty went at some length Into the claims of both countries, but the main points were based on the .meaning of Articles III. and IV. of the Anglo-Russian treaty of 1825, or, in other words, whether the line of demarcation, in ac cordance With the terms of the treaty, was to be drawn thirty marine miles from the coast of the Pacific ocean or from the headwaters of the Lynn and other canals Into the Canadian interior. The British concession of agreeing to three commissioners on each side with out an umpire or referee was offset by the willingness of the'. United States to bold the deliberations of the com mission in London nnder the presiden cy of Chief Justice Alverstone. .The commission held Its first formal meet ing in London September 3, and dis posed of the entire question in a little more than two months. By the decision of this tribunal. Lord Chief Justice Alverstone voting with the Americans,' the United States gets all the territorylt has always claimed. The Portland canal, which is an outlet from British Columbia, Is given to Can ada.' - Lord Alverstone, whose decision has not met with favor in Canada, is the head of the highest judicial tribunal in England, and has been since 1900. For twelve years prior to this he was! At torney General. , We should think that the wird "love" would strike married people much like a whiff of cooking after one has had too much breakfast. ' v '- ;- - - ' Sari- ttHt r cost nearly $50,000. The cost of mate rial and the wages paid to architects and builders runs, over $300,000. The prince's fad is a costly one, but to his critics who aver that he could have saved at least $150,000 he replies that he considers the extra amount well spent for art's sake, and that he be lieves he could not have secured an exact counterpart of the Venice cbui'ch in any other way. CONCEIT OF THE SOMALI. Hia Good Opinions of Himself Are the Subject i of Ilia Songs, Perhaps the most remarkable charac teristic of the natives of Somaliland is their unbounded, preposterous conceit. Englishmen who know their language have been appalled by It. When water ing his camel or his horse the Somali encourages the animal to drink by chanting to it in a monotone. It is at such moments of extemporary effusion that the man shines in all his glory. The subject matter may be the experi ences of the day's march, the virtues of the animal beside him, the charms of his latest wife, or his own prowess in some bloodless tribal raid. By great good fortune the following literal trans lation of one of these chants or songs came into my possession, and I insert it without any comment: "Will you see a man ? Then behold me! I am a Somali, as perfect in size and form as Adam was after God had a breathed into him his immortal soul. Look bow beautiful my curly hair Is, and how majestic I look when wrapped from head to foot In my snow-white or Jungle-colored i tobe, although there be sometimes only one pie (a small piece of money) tied to It. My house is the desert, and I am born a free man. Free as the windt ; I know-neither king nor master. I am as Adam was, my own master and king. In the jungle I tend my camels and sheep; my only labor is to watch them feed. In ray kerrier, my wife, my dear . slave, does all th? manual work, while tending my off spring, and woe to her if she forgets to prepare my evening meal. The jedal (whip) shall then have its turn to make her remember for next day A In such,, a state is any man happier than I?" Golden Penny, - The Iron Pillar or Delhi . The famous iron pillar of Delhi , is a solid shaft of wrought iron, 16 inches in diameter, and of a length that is variously reported.' ' The tolal length is from 48 to 60 feet underground and above, including a capital of 3V feet. The pillar contains about 80 cubic feet of metal, and. weighs about seventeen j tonsv The metal Is, of course, charcoal iron, made directly from ore in small' billets; but how it was welded up no one can tell, as no record exists of any ' early method of dealing with great masses of wrought iron. An inscrip tion roughly cut or punched upon the column states that Rajah Dhara sub dued a people in the Surdbu. named Vahlikos, and obtained with his own arm an undivided sovereignty on the earth for a long period.! The "date of the inscription has been referred to the third or fourth century after Christ, but on this authorities are at variance. After a man gets a nice home, he is usually compelled to leave it for sev eral months in the year, and live at a poor hotel at some mineral sprinir. A . . . . ....... t GO O D 4. PriJi fAt"inf 4,il,.t.."M"I"l"M"i"l"l H -i r Some time before the Civil War, and while he resided in Southern Illinois, John A. '-Logan once found it neces sary to doubt the veracity of a mau considerably older than himself, and told him so. "Don't you call me a liar, sir," said the man, excitedly; "I have a reputation to maintain, and I mean to 'maintain it if I -have to do it at the point of a pistol." "Oh," Logan is said to have calmly retorted, "That won't be necessary. You maintain your reputation all right every time you tell a lie." A colored barber thus explained to Senator Hoar his reason for resigning from a " certain African church: "I jlned that chu'ch en good faiths and de fust yeah I give $10 to'ds the stated gospel, an' all de chu'ch people calls me Brudder Dickson.' De second yeah me biziness fell off, en I give $5; en all de chu'ch people de.V call me Mistah Dickson.' De third yeah I feel so pohly dat I don't give nuthin' t'll for preaching', en all de chu'ch peo ple dey pass me by en say, 'Dat ole niggah Dickson. After dat I quit 'em." A well-known professor, having boarded a few weeks' with a farmer who was in the habit of taking a few summer guests into his house to help pay the rent, decided to spend his va cation there again this year. In noti fying the farmer of his intention, he wrote: "There are several little mat ters that I desire changed, should my family decide to pass the vacation at your house. We don't like the maid Mary. Moreover, we do not think a sty so near' the house is sanitary." This is what he received in reply: "Mary has went. We haint had no hogs sence you went away last Sep tember." Rudyard Kipling once visited the late Cecil, Rhodes at Lekkerwijn, one of his fruit farms at Paarl, South Afri ca. One morning. Rhodes went round his farm before breakfast, leav ing his guest, who was not so ener getic, behind. Time went on, and Rhodes did not appear. Hunger sqon roused Kipling to action, and in a short time he was very busy on his own account. As Rhodes returned he found his trees bearing a new kind of fruit in the shape of placards, in scribed in huge black letters with "Famine!" "We are starving!" "Feed us!" etc. On reaching the front door he was confronted with the following, in still larger type: "For the Human Race Breakfast tones the mind,. In vigorates the body. It has sustained thousands; it will sustain you. See that you get it." Then in the house, on every available wall, he came across other mysterious placards, in more and more pathetic appeal: "Why die when a little breakfast prolongs life?" Larg er and larger grew the type: "It is late, it Is still later," leading at last Into the little breakfast room, where he found Kipling reading his paper in peaceful innocence, but very hun gry. It did not need much ingenuity to guess the author of these broadsides. TRIALS OF THE NEWCOMER. Lucky If He Kacapea Harsher Fata Than a Nickname, The instinctive attitude toward strangers of people in self-contained communities, in which there is but lit tle coming and going, is one of hostil ity, says.the Londou Globe. Traces of this feeling a survival, surely, . from the days of the tribal or village com munity are still to be found even in many places where the immensely in creased facilities for intercom munica tiou have broken up and almost abol ished the old isolated modes of life. There are still old world rural parts where tboso who come from or belong to other districts are generally styled "furriners." But this is really a sur vival of modfcievalisni. . v Connected with the old hostile atti tude toward the outsider is the custom, which is found all over the world, of du!bing the . newcomer, whether to country or town, or profession, with a nickname, humorous or satirical. In the far West of America or Canada he who comes : fresh from the East or from Enrojie is a "tenderfoot." Orig inally, no doubt, the name was almost literally true. A backwoodsman, or frontiersman, is a tolerably tough and hardened individual, and a newcomer from more civilized parts would prob ably find he deserved the name of "tenderfoot" before he had been long on the tramp. But, of course, the epi thet soon gained a wider application, and became a label for a fresh, arrival of any "kind: ' Another western name of like meaning was "pilgrim." In India for many a long year the newcomer has always been known as a "griffin," usually. . shortened to "griff"; but no one has yet been able to explain the origin of the term. In the Malay peninsula newly im ported Chinese coolies are known as "sinkeys," but why we cannot say. Australia, of course, has its own nick names for the newcomer. When he arrives fresh from the old country he is a "new chum" or a "lime juice" and usually bears the marks of his new ness thick upon him in the shape of bis clothes,- the topics of his talk, and the like. If he goes inland or up the country, as the Australians would say, and settles down on a sheep or cattle station, so as to get practically ac quainted with the work on a large run, and thus learn the details essential to successful sheep or cattle farming, he is known' at first as a "colonial experi ence" or a "jackaroo." The application of nicknames is not confined to fresh immigrants in any country or colony. The habit is found In existence in many other directions. In military slang a recruit is a "rooky," and many other occupations have par allel nicknames for the novice, the raw hand, the greenhorn who is not necessarily, a simpleton. "Greenhorn" Itself was used in the seventeenth cen tury as a name for a raw recruit when "greener" is commonly used in London at the present time among sweating employers as a term for newly arrived foreigners in search of worl. who are : - -V ' - r ' ; just the materia to serve the sweater's purpose. - .' At English universities, again, the undergraduate in his first year has been known for centuries as a "fresh man," which recent Oxford slang, with its idiotic love for making "er" a uni versal termination, turns into "fresh er." Across the Atlantic freshman is similarly used, while a vsecond-yeai-student is dubbed a "sophomore," a name unknown on this side. At German universities men rejoice in a variety of strange names. In one of the chapters of Longfellow's "Hy perion" the reader may make the ac quaintance of the Nasty-Foxes, other wise freshmen; Branders, or second term men; mossyheads, old ones and. princes of twilight. Most of them sound delightfully meaningless, which, is one of the recognized beauties of cant terms. THE CANALS OF EUROPE. This Means of Transportation Rc gaining Long-Lost Prestige. "In nearly all the commercial coun tries of Europe," says United States Consul Ilossfield In an official report. the canal seems to be regaining its. long-lost prestige. Germany has ex pended during the last ten years hun dreds of millions of marks for the con struction or artificial water courses, and Austria will expend during the-, next nine years no less than 325.000,- 000 crowns f$fiT QTiVOOO fnr n lik mm pose, while Italy seems to be deter mined not to remain far behind in the improvement of inland navigation. ' "About two years ago the Italian, government, appointed a commission ta. investigate and report upon the advis ability of establishing a system of na tional waterways in the northern part, of the kingdom. This commission rec ommends the establishment of a net work of inland water courses of a total length of 2,112 miles. This great work can be achieved the more easily be cause northern Italy has already 1,677 miles of navigable rivers and canals and these can be connected with each other by a system of auxiliary canals of a total length of less than 434 miles. The commission estimates the total cost of the proposed improve ments at $22,774,000. ; "The main line of the proposed sys tem would be a canal connecting Venice with Milan and Turin. Another canal would connect Milan with Bo logna and a third Bologna with Venice. It is further proposed to open an in land water course from Venice to the Austrian frontier, for which purpose the rivers Stella, Corno and Ausca could be utilized. . "An improved system of water high ways would be a powerful stimulus to the farms and factories of northern Italy, enabling manufacturers to col lect their raw materials and fuel with less labor and expense, and opening more distant and more profitable mar kets for both industrial and agricul tural products. "It Is worthy of note that some of the canals which it is proposed to make use of in this national system of waterways- were constructed nearly 500 years ago and that one of them is known to have been equipped with lift, locks as early as 1497." GROUSE IS A CLEVER BIRD. It vadea the Hunter by Tricks that Display Its Intelligence. It has 100 tricks of defense. It will sometimes lie still until the hunter is. within a yard of it, then soar straight upward in his front, towering like a woodcock; again, it will rise forty yards away, and the sound of its. wings. is his only notice of its presence. It Avill cower upon a branch under which he passes, and his cap will not be more than a foot below it as he goes, and though it has seen him approaching, it, will remain quiescent in frightful fear until his back is turned. It will" flush then, and when he has slewed himself hurriedly around he will catch only a glimpse of a brown, broad wing far away. Wounded and falling in the open.' it will be found if it is found at all with the telltale speckles of its breast against the trunk of some brown tree against which its feathers, are indis tinguishable, and the black ruff about the neck of the male will be laid against the darkest spot of the bark. Often it will double like a fox; often, as man draws near, it will spring noise lessly into some spruce and hide until he passes, dropping then to the ground and continuing its feeding; often, too It will decline to take wing, though unhurt, and will run fast for a half mile so fast that the most expert woodsman will be unable to keep pace with it. This it will do ouly on leafy ground and never when snow would betray its tracks. Outing. Origin of "Mrs. Grundy." In Morton's-clever comedy, '"Speed -the Plough," Farmer Ashfleld, at table with his jug and pipe, is talking to. his wife on her return from market "Well, - dame, welcome whoam. What news does thee "bring vrom mar ket?" "What news, husband? What I al ways told you, that Farmer Grundy's wheat brought five shillings a quarter more than ours did." "All the better foor he!" "Ah! the sun seems to shine on pur pose for him." "Come, come, missus, as thee has not the grace to thank God for prosperous times, dan't thee' grumble when they be unkindly a bit." "And I assure you Dame Grundy's butter was quite the crack of the market." "Be quiet, wool ye? Always ding dinging Dame Grundy into my ears; 'What will Mrs. Grundy say?' 'What will Mrs. Grundy think?' Canst thee be quiet; let her alone, and behave thy self pratry?" Answers. The Ancient Sages. ' . "After all, it's the wise man who can change his opinion." "But the wisest men simply can't do it." "Why not?' "Because they've been dead for year." Philadelphia Press. Ancient and Modern Volcanoes. There are about 350 volcanoes on this earth that have performed in mod ern times. There are many hundreds more that have long been extinct.