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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 13, 1902)
HAMKIN RECORDER. | POLLY LARKIN. [ FREAK ADORNMENTS. Strana* Household Oruunieul« 'I'hnl May He Seen I Knslaud. Kellie people have a queer sense of Maliy are the strange household and garden adornments scattered u|> and justice, it Meui» to Polly, and without down the English countryside. In a stopping to think what a colt flag i at Ion Sussex village Is part of a garden pal they can fan from a tiny spark they ing made wholly out of the swords of rush blindly ahead and do not come to swordfishes. The lady who owns the their senses until aftei the mischief is gurden got the strange paling from her done. We hadau instance of this kind brother, who hail originally sported It a few days ago when two young men, in the tropics. Near Leeds is a summer house made prominent in society and s|M>rting cir wholly of buttous of every Imaginable cles, undertook to puuish a certain ed kind, and in the same county Is a itor In ihiscity for publishiugan article room the walls of which are adorned in his weekly pa|>er referring in an un entirely by the ribbons of cigars, near complimentary maimer to a young soci ly 20,000 of these being represented. ety lady who was a friend of one of the From garret to basement in the large avengers of her good name. He was bouse of a Leeds mineral water manu not related to her and not a suitor for facturer Is a gigantic scrapbook, ev ery notable theutrleal poster of the lust her hand, but the young lady's father twenty years being pasted on the being away, he t<s>k upon himself after conferring with his friend, to avenge walls. A north country banker living near the young lady by punishing the ed Waketteld lias a great dining room the itor. The whole thing was cowardly, whole of the walls of which are the as cowardly as the article which did wooden and Iron doors of eminent cas uqt mention any mimes but made the tles and historic buildings, uud nt Lis lilt of unsavory news so plain that “all card, In Cheshire, Is a loom that con tains hundreds of plrture frames made who ran could read” and know to whom of every imaginable substituée, from the item referred. These two coura leather to tigers’ bones, one frame be geous ('.') men telephoned to ihie editor ing placed within anol lier according to and arranged to meet him in his own size so that the whole surface is cov house, where his wife and little ones, ered with frames. who believed him ali that w as good and lu Liverpool Is a room that of a lovely, were there to witness the terri dentist whose grandfather occupied the same premises that contains many ble scene. When he had received them mirrors and pictures the frames of graciously and turned his back to hang which are made entirely of sharks' up their hats he received a cowardly teeth. Near Birmingham a mannfiie blow from liehhid, and the heavy blows turer has a study that Is lined, even to came thick and fast; then when the the roof, with nothing but chains of assaulted man turned and ran blindly vurlous thicknesses and padlocks of up the stairs they tired shot after shot different sizes, rearson's. at him, mangling his hand and finally bringing him to his knees while his DON’T GET TOO FULL. wife stisid at the head of the stairs a witness to the terrible scene. Then the A Leaaon That May Be Learned From cowardly avengers tied. The wounded the Habit** of the Bees. man was carried to his room without "Don’t stir up a beehive unless .. know It Is a rich one,” said an apiarist knowing the reason for the punishment to a visitor at his bee farm. he had received, and the men gave "1 think that 1 would leave them themselves up to the law, which deals alone altogether,” w as tile reply. "They gently with culprits in their station in have too angry a buzz about them to life and were at once released on hail. win my confidence." « « « « "You are not used to them, that's What have these hot headed men all.” said the beeimiu. “For example, these ldves are full of honey, and if 1 succeeded in doing on is-half of the puff u little smoke into the floors so ns young lady? They have fanned the to sort of suffocate the sentries I can tiny spark of unsavory gossip into a con topple a hive over, handle the bees flagration that cal) never lie quenched. like so many beans, clean the honey Ninety-nine out of a hundred 'would combs ami carry them off. The bees won't barm me.” And. to prove Ids have never seen the article referred to words, the speaker performed Ids ex in this weekly paper. Its circulation periment and came back to Ids friend is not so extensive, and liesides, no mime with a smile and several heavy combs was mentioned; and while some few of honey. readers might have known who the “If those ldves had been nearly article referred to, the majority would empty,” said the apiarist, "I would not have given it a second thought. It have been lucky to have esca|ied with would have been far better to have let my life. The tenants of a poor hive it pass, and while it would have been sting to kill.’’ “That’s strange,” said the visitor. humiliating to the young lady and her “1 should tliink that they would de friends, the effect of the insulting arti fend their hoards with especial Jeal cle would have stsin died out. It would ousy, and the more they have the hot have been u nine days' wonder, proba ter they would tight.” bly, to some who could read between "The reason Is,” said the beeman, the lines, but comparatively few would "that when alarmed the bees tty to Inive known who the objectionable arti their storehouse and gorge themselves. When full of honey, a bee can't bend cle referred to. Now the world knows of it. Every city, every little town, Its body and sting.” "Which should lie a lesson to us," hamlet ami village where the news is said the other. “Don't get too full.”— devoured in newspaper form, knows of New York Tribune. the whole proceeding from A to Z. They will read of the complete vindication of A Piinctiml Bird. the young lady referred to in the scur What tempts the little humming rilous article, but that does not stop the bird that we see in our gardens to wagging of ever-ready gossipers’ nimble travel every spring from near the equator to as far north as the arctic tongues. In place of doing a kindness circle, leaving behind 1dm, ns lie does, the young lady’s defenders have man for a season, many tropical delights? aged to do the greatest injury. They He Is the only one of many liiimndng have fanned the spark that would have birds that plucklly leaves the land of soon smouldered away into a raging gayly colored birds to go into volun furnace sending its smoke and rain of tary exile In the north, cast of the Mis dirty cinder» to tlie tour points of the slsslppl. How it stirs the imagination compass. They have advertised the to picture tlie solitary, tiny migrant, a mere atom of bird life, moving above offending paper to the extent that per the range of human sight through the sons w ho were nev r interested enough vast dome of the sky! Borne swiftly to glance at it liefore have not rested onward by rapidly vibrating little until they secured a copy. They are wings, he covers the thousands of wondering who the next unfortunate miles between his winter home and Ids will lie to lie attacked. They have suc summer one by easy stages and ar ceeded in getting themselves into |a rives at his chosen destination, weath most unenviable predicament. They er permitting, at approximately the same date year after year. -Country have almost wrecked a home. The man might have richly deserved punish Life In America. ment, but his family, who were not re sponsible, should have lieeli shielded. The Woman and Iler Face. Once upon a time a woman had a Of what shall it prolit them? quarrel with tier features because they » » » » made ugly faces at her when she Polly does not for n moment justify looked in the glass. Site scolded and the editor of this paper, or any other for Scolded, but it all did no good Finiilly she sat In front of tier mir that matter, in publishing these un ror, and with rouge, jsiwder and black pleasant little scandals, particularly pencil went deliberately to work to when they are made out of the fantastic show her face how wrong it was and weavings of a deceased brain that loves succeeded. evil rather than good. But there should After a time she smiled a smile of intense satisfaction, and her face Is*, ami is, a lietter way of dealing with such people than by Inking the law smiled pleasantly back at her. Moral.—It Is better to make up than into your own hands and giving world to continue differences.—New York wide publicity to affairs which the less Herald. said the lietter. If the avenger feels that he must make the ugly and un The Worm In the Cheat n ut. A physician explains how the worm called for offense a personal matter, let gets into tlie chestnut. When the nut him Is- manly alsiut it and not seek a is still green, an Insect comes along mini's own home that at least should and, hunting a warm place In which Is* sacred from intrusion from the out to have its eggs hatched, lights upon side world, and let him rain his blows, the green chestnut and stings It. At not on an unsuspecting man's bend the same time It deposits some of Its from the rear, but make the attack eggs In the o|>enlng tints made. The Isildly and let him know wlint has chestnut begins to ripen, and at the same time the eggs are hatching. Tlie culled forth the punishment. Editors insect selects chestnuts as a place for who allow news reflecting on any depositing its eggs ns being tlie best one's character, particularly a Indy, to adapted place by Instinct. The floury appear in their paper, should lie in matter In the nut turns to sugar, and cluded ill the list of stri-et lepers, those augur contains cnrlion, which produces me.i who stand on the street corners heat. killing time by making uncomplimen tary remarks when a lady is so unfor Smnll In u Double Sense. “Afterall,”remarked Smithers,yawn tunate as to have to pass in their vicinity. All richly deserve punish Ing, “It is a small world.” "It has to be,” snapped Smuthers, ment, but the problem of how to d< ill “to match some of the people In it.”- with them ciinnot lie solved by one or t'lnilnnntl Commercial Tribune. two angry men trying to sweep them ofl the face of the earth by a shower of Accounted For. leaden pellets. It can Is* done without Dime Museum Manager — What Is the unpleasant notoriety and just as that peculiar smell? effectively. The Living Skeleton — The rubber « « « « skin burned his Anger lighting a ciga For weeks past the fences ami bulle rette.—fudge. tin Isiards have been gayly decorated with the attractive show bills of Buf Every man should profit by his own falo Bill's Wil<l West Klmw. Polly mistakes, but most of us would prefer got a good Imffglit into the small Imy’s to profit by the mistakes of others.-- character from tlw~e highly colored Philadelphia Record. and very interesting pictures. On the same fence or bulletin ls>ard were adver tisements of the ditleielit theaters and tine pictures of Henry Miller, Margaret Anglin, Florence Roberts and other actorsand actresses, and thrilling scenes from "A Mormon's Wife,” “Camille,” and other plays which were lieing given at the theaters. Every one of them was more or less mutilated by the small isiy so as to make them unsightly, but Buffalo Bill’s posters were without a blemish or a scar. “How do you ac count for that?” asked a friend, |Miint- iug to the mutilated pictures and then to the Wild West Show’s advertise ments. “That is easy enough,” I re plied. “The pictures of Buffalo Bill’s show are simply works of art to the boys, bigaml little. It appeals to them and arouses a Ixiyish enthusiasm that cannot lie quenched until he goes to the big show himself. He is in full sympathy with every scene and he makes a study of every beautiful horse, every rider depicted in the pictures, and to them Colonel Cody, or “Buffalo Bill,” as he is called, is the biggest and most important man in the United States, lie is their hero, and if these posters remain where they are for weeks, they may lie defaced by the elements, but by the small boy, never. » » » * “Young Housekeeper” wants a gisid recipe for apple jelly. Well, Polly is not much of a jelly-maker, but 1 be lieve u pint of juice to a pint of sugar is considered a gissl rule by one of the best housekeepers in the land, and then Isnl until it stands tlie test when drip ping from the spoon. HUMOR OF THE HOUR Fuinilliia Sacred Vow«. Tnffold Knutt went around to the kitchen door of the farmhouse and knocked. A large framed, rawboned woman eaiue to the door, w-lptng her hands on her blue gingham apron. “Ma’am,” be said plaintively, “kin ye give a pore man a bite of sometlilu' to eat?” “I reckon so,” she replied, eying him keenly, "if you want to ’arn It. My Imslian’ Is over in that field, harvestin’, anil lie’s payin' a dollar and a half a day fur hands. You go ami ast him, and you'll git work quick enough.” "Ma’am,” he rejoined, with a look of pain In bis face, “me gran’father worked hisself to death farmin', an' I promised me dyiu’ mother I’d never work on no farm as long ns 1 lived. I don’t durst to go back on that promise. But If there's anything else”— "Can you split wood?” "Yes'm, I kin split wood 'nougli fur a tire If you’ve got a ax.” “Split it up right size fur kindlin’?” "Yes'm.” "Break it up about so long, so’s to make It tit the kitchen stove?” "Yes’ m.” "And carry it in?” “Yes'm.” “Well, 1 ain't got no wood I want split, and I promised my dyln’ grnn’- niother I’d never feed no dirty, lazy, good fur nutliin’ tramp nohow. If you ain't out o’ this yard in fourteen sec onds, I'll set the dog on you. Are you goin’?” “Yes’m,” meekly replied Tnffold Knutt. backing out.—Chicago Tribune. Smoked Ont. BRIEF REVIEW. Bird Dogs. Rending denotes that a dog is follow ing» trail toward the birds by their fcot- scent, as a man, in an analogous man ner, might follow a flock of sheep by watching their tracks. Drawing de notes that a dog is approaching birds by tlie scent in the air as a man might fol low a flock of sheep by the long line of dust hovering over and around the trail. Drawing is consider« <1 u much superior manner to reading. It is commonly marked by greater accuracy, quickness of execution and dash of manner. Pointing is the stop which the dog makes when he has definitely located the birds, or when he thinks he has done so. It is the preliminary pause to accurately determine the where- alsiuts of the hidden birds before he springs to capture. If he misjudges and springs in tlie wrong direction all his ipains and labor come to nothing. In his training, he is encouraged to point, lint is prohibited springing, so that after a time he makes his point ami holds it stanehly. If by any act, will ful or otherwise, he alarms the birds and they take wing, it is culled a Hush.. If the dog, when going up wind on the game, Hushes the birds he commits an error. If under certain circumstances he Hushes when going down wind the error may he excused oil the ground that lieing up wind of them it was im possible to scent them and therefore im possible to know of their presence. Dealer—How did you like the last ci gars that I furnished you? Customer — First rate. After three days my mother-in-law packed up and left. At tlie Circus. "And now, ladies and gentlemen;” said tlie lecturer, "you are about to witness the most thrilling spectacle ever presented in the arena. 1 would request that you kindly maintain si lence and refrain from applauding un til the act is concluded. Seuor Reek- lesslo will now ride the man eating au tomobile three times around the hip podrome track!”—Baltimore American. A Green Caddie. Madge —You went over the links with Hurry Huggard. He plays an ex cellent game, doesn’t he? Blanche—Doesn't he, though? Why, 1 Negro Population. actually believe that we'd have been The rapid increaseof theslaves under engaged If the stupid caddie bad only the excellent hygienic surroundings of known Ills business.—Judge. the old plantations produced quite Mini»- Returns. enough of them and to spare, without "Are your sou's literary efforts pro bringing in any more. It is an estab ductive of returns?” asked the Inter lished fact, owing to the hygienic con ested visitor. dition of the old plantation», that if the "(Hi. yes, Indeed,” replied the proud rate of increase of the negro for the lirst mother. "Scarcely a day passes that hundred years of slavery hail been something does not come back.”—In maintained up to the present time, we dianapolis News. should now have a population of 26,- Too Much Risk. OOff.tXX), and yet there are now barely "That boy next door said he’d het he !»,IMM),(XMI in this country, with an equal could lick me with one baud tied be number in our newly acquired territory. hind bls back." At present there is no Southern city "Of course you took him up?” where the negro birth rate equals their "Naw, 1 didn’t. He said he’d have to Jo the tying.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. death rate. Feed of Cattle in Hawaii. Hundreds of horses and thousand» of cattle in the Hawaiian islands never takea drink ot water. They live on the lipper altitudes of the mountain», where thecattle run wild from the time they are liorn until they are sent to the slaughter house. Except possibly for two or three luonthsiu the rainy season there are no streamsor poolsof water tn any part where the cattle reach, but everywhere there grows a recut,ent, jointed grass known by the native name of maninin. This is both food and drink. An EncliHiitreNN, “Oh, my!” exclaimed the pretty type writer. "I’m afraid I’m a wretched speller.” "Ah. no!” sighed her enamored em ployer. "You are mistress of all sorts of spells.”—Ohio State Journal. HI* Plaint. Brown — What was Jones kicking about? You’d tliink he never got what lie wanted. Smith It's worse than that. He says he never gets even what lie doesn't want.—Detroit Free Press. A nt Id put Ion. Dr. Zellia, a professor at tlie Vienna University, who is exploring Pale tine in behalf of the Imperial Academy of Sciences, has discovered the walls ami gateway of the ancient temple of Solis mon in the neighlsirhood of Janohaha, In Samaria. Maybelle—Did you know that there Is a “.lack the Kisser” at large in this neighborhood? Maude—Ob. Isn’t that lovely! I must Bid out liis haunts.—Ohio State Jour- Ml. Another Yenr. Hurry — Don't you remember that when we were engaged last summer The oldest piece of writing in the we cut our Initials on that tree? world is on a fragment of a vase found Marjorie oil. Hint's a cbes nut.— In at.Nippur. It is an inscription in pic dianapolis Sun. ture writing and dates +51)0 years lie- Tbonuhta of Winter. fore ('hirst. The University of Penn- Winter time a-comln'; »ylvunia has obtained it. Oh, dal snow en sleet! The Japanese eat more fish than any o her people iii the world. With them meat eating is a foreign innovation, confined to the rich, or, rather, to those rich people who prefer it to the nation al diet. The lower class of the Japanese em ploy hardly any other material than paper for theirclothing. Where wages are excel diugly low clot h is all inqsis- silile extravagance. Hoecake In de ashes, En hoeeake hard ter beat I Col' win' crecpln’ cross de hill; Eros' soon tailin' gray; Heah dem dogs a-barkln’; Ketch dat coon 'to' day! Winter time a-comln'; Oh. dat snow en sleet! Possum In de oven, En posium hard ter bent! -Atlanta Constitution. Willing to Help. "You hate wounded me.” lie sadly »aid as he rose from his knees— “wounded me bo deeply that I »hull The Jericho of to-day is a collection never”— “Walt.” »be said, picking a book off of w retched cabins inhabited by a pecu the table. "Let me see what 'First Aid liar people, unlike any others ill Pales to the Injured* says to do In such a tine. ________________ case ns yours.” man who Is not »1 rung enough Io A Fault Finder. thdil should I»1 allowed to go Scott fri-e. "You were always a fault tinder.” growled the wife. "Yes. dear.", responded the liusbaud A man who shows nervousness in w ar meekly. "I found you." should not Is* interfered with. NEW SHORT STORIES QUICK WORK WITH A SHARK THE WOODCOCK. Where Does It Hide llitrina the Molt« Seaxou f Mr. CarucKie aud the Slick Due. Philanthropy, that darling of his heart, lately played a pretty trick on Andrew Carnegie. A few mornings ago, says the New York Times, he and another gentleman his secretary, pre sumably — left the Carnegie house In Fifty fourth street mid stepped to ward a carriage st ¡ding at the curb. They had mo ed but a few paces when, coming from nowhere In par ticular, a wretched, ragged woman In terrupted their advance. "God bless you, gentlemen,” she said, holding forth her hand. Iler voice was irresistibly pathetic. Unbuttoning his coat. Mr. Carnegie drew a coin from liis waistcoat pocket mill, without glancing at It, handed It to the woman. The carriage door was Opened, mm Mr. Carnegie placed one foot on tlie step. Then he drew back In deep thought apparently, lie turned quickly to the woman. "Here, my g<s«l woman,” lie said, fumbling In another pocket, "let me have tlie money I Just gave you.". For a moment tlie woman regarded him with eyes anything hut pathetic. Tlii'ii. opening her hand, she glanced at the coin which he hail given to her. “Oh. it's a keepsake, is it?” she ex claimed boldly. “Yes. It is nothing to you." "It's nothing to me, but it’s every thing to you. What’ll you give me for it?” Mr. Carnegie surrendered to ills un dignified predicament. "Very well," lie answered, though visibly annoyed. So. handing the woman a bill, he re ceived tlie keepsake in exchange. “She's a slick one, that,” said a Uni MILITARY. DISPLAY. versity cluli cilbby, wlio had observed An Ainnsinic Hit of Routine In ■■ Sew the incident. “She hangs round here Y ork Hotel. every day, and I'll bet she knew who There Is no better place to mark the she was up against.” increasing line of military display ami maneuvers than tlie lobby of a large Wnuted Full Credit. hotel. Tin- colored help in particular Questionable escapades of diplomatic are great soldiers. In one of the Broad fortune rest lightly upon tlie shoulders way hotels uptown the colored hall of South American presidents and gen men are changed al noon. Tilings were erals, according to a story recently re quiet in the lobby ut that hotel today, lated by Dr. David J. Hill, first assist for the clerks and bookkeepers were ant secretary of the state department. deep In their books, and the loungers The revolution in Venezuela had been were nil sitting peacefully on the so fas when the steady tramp, tramp of what sounded like a regiment of infan try broke the stillness. The regiment consisted of six col ored hallmen in blue and brass, with an especially resplendent mulatto in a more gorgeous uniform walking ut the head of the procession, says the New York correspondent of the Pittsburg Gazette, lie lined Ills six Ulen in trout of u bench liefore the desk, looked them over sharply to see that they were "■ yes front” and hissed ’Atten tion!” Then as In- clapped his lumds once the six men hinged their legs si multaneously mid drooped into their seats like a row of wooden soldiers. The mulatto wiped his brow with u highly perfumed handkerchief, glanced at the head clerk for approval mid as the first man responded with n jerk to tlie cry of "Front!" went to the main doorway to look ut the sunlight of Broadway with the air of u successful major general. The whole perform ance was excruciatingly funny, but 1 mu sure that mulatto would have com mitted assault ami battery on any one who dilred to laugh. It Is during the months of August and September that the mystery of the woodcock's life begins. This Is the molting season, when the bird changes its plumage before begiunlug its Journey southward. At this time it leaves the »wiil|)ps. Where does it go? That is a question widt h 1ms nev er yet received a satisfactory answer, ultImugh each s|sirtsman and natural ist has his own opinion, anil many tine spun theories have been advanced. Some say that tlie birds move toward the north, some that they seek the mountain tops, coming Into the swamps to feed only after nightfall; some that tiny seek tlie cornfields. and there have been many other such theories. Probably the truth lies in a mean of nil these statements. I think it prob able Hint the birds know the loss of their feathers renders them to a eer tain i xtent helpless and more exposed to the attacks of their natural enemies, and they therefore Lave the more open swamps and hide in the densest and most tangled thickets. It is certain that they scatter, for nt this season single birds lire found in the most un usual and unexpected places. Years ago when shooting In Dutch ess county, N. Y., I knew one or two swamps, which we called molting swamps, where in August we were sure to find a limited number of birds. These swamps were overgrown with rank marsh grass and were full of patches of wild rose and sweetbrier. If we killed Hi» birds which we found there, we were sure In a week or ten days to find their places tilled by about the same nnnila r. Outing. Tlie Wax Insect. Trees afford the birthplace and cra dle of the wax insect, scientifically culled fossils pela. In the early spring the bark of the boughs and twigs be comes covered with brown pea shaped scales, which cun be easily detached mid which, when opened, reveal the flowery looking mass of minute ani mals, whose movements can Just be detected by the miked eye. Ill May mid June, however, tlie scales are found to contain a swarm of brown creatures with six legs mid two an- teniae each. Some of the scales also contain the white bag or cocoon of a small black beetle, which, if left undis turbed, burrows Into and consumes the scales. The Chinese say that this beetle eats the little wax insects, and it appears certainly the case that where the intrasite is most abundant the scales fetch a lower price in the mar ket.- < 'ha m Iiers’ Journii 1. All In the Family. They were discussing the factors which make for success in the world, when the knowing young man said: “There's nothing like force of char ncter, old man. Now, there’s Jones. Sure to make bis way in the world. Has a will of his own, you know.” "But Brown lias something better in his favor.” “What's that?” "A will of Ills uncle.”-Stray Stories. Where He Ml»«e*l It. "All,” lie said as they were exploring among the rocks back of the hotel, “here is 'Lovers’ lane.’ Let's go through.” "That deep place there, where it Is Mo dark, with the steep, rocky sides?” “Yes. Come on.” "I’m afraid you would kiss me if we were down there alone together.'' “No, honest!” "Well, then we may as well remain up here.”—Chicago Ileeord-Herald. More Tlinn He Could Stand. "After you have taken this medi cine,” said the physician, “give your self n hot water hut!’ and go to bed at once.” "Gosh, doc!” exclaimed the shaggy lialrcd patient. “Can’t you make it a mustard plaster or something like that? 1 always kiteli cold when I take n bath! ’—Chicago Tribune. SiicceNM. Success, like a trolley cur. Is liable to strike ns unexpectedly. When It does, we want no fender and guarantee there'll be no suit against the couipn ny.- Ida Young Cliff. "The Kanakas of the Hawaiian Is lands have about as much fear of the huge sharks that infest the Hawaiian waters as we have of one-month-old fox terrier pups,” said a naval officer who recently returned from the Asiatic station by way of the islands. “One morning a couple of months ago, when our ship was lying in Honolulu harhor, a big banana barge, propelled by three muscular, tine looking, nearly nude Kanakas, puffed akfligside of uh to peddle the fruit among the men for ward. Just ns they got the barge close to the ship the three Kanakas began t jabber excitedly In their igueer, musical language and to feel of the edges of the knives suspended by lanyards around their necks. "The eyes of those Kanakas were keener than ours, and they had seen a big shark asleep directly beneath the lighter, the water being so clear dowu that way that objects can be seen through It to a great depth. It didn't take those three giant muscled Kana kas more than ten seconds toj^ ultle out of their few clot lies. TliW»tliey removed the strings from their long kulves, grns[H‘d the knives In tlielr right hands, stepped gently over the side of the lighter, hung to the gun wales of the lighter with tlielr left hand» for a inoincnt or so, and then, altogether, they gave that queer diving wriggle to their legs in which they are so expert and disappeared from the surface. We couldn’t see them going down oil account of the commotion and consequent bubbles they made in the water. "Within about ten seconds after they disappeared the bubbles that came to the surface began to take on the hue of blood. “ ‘That about settles one Kanaka, If not the whole three of them,’ said we oil the gangway. The next thing we saw was a gigantic shark thrashing tlie water crazily on the port side of the lighter and incarnadining the sea within a radius of fifty feet with Ita blood. Then tlie three Kanakas came up. all In a bunch, like a trio of Jacks- In tlie-box, with contented smiles en their faces. The shark thrashed around for live or ten minutes, and at the end of that time he was as dead as any, salted mackerel in n barrel, the entire length <>f him. The three Kanakas bad tackled him altogether as he slept, had driven their knives into his vulnerable parts, and liefore lie had a chance to puff himself together he was ns good ns dead. It was as workmanlike a Job of going after big sea game as ever I saw.”- Philadelphia Times. Soelely nnd Coiiipnnion*hl|>. The privilege of having some one with whom we may exchange a few rational words every day, as Emerson phrases it, is the choicest gift in life. We are rich In soi'let.v and yet poor In companionship. In the overflow of chatter we are starved for conversa tion. Social life is so largely an affair of representation, it inclines so largely to tlie spectacular and to what its chroniclers designate as “social func tions.” tlmt the element of conversa tional intercourse is almost eliminated. Vet. primarily, Is not that tlie supreme object of all friendly meeting? When we reduce to first principles tjiis com plex thing called living, do we not go to our friend solely to talk with him? Do we not Invite him solely that we may exchange ideas and compare views on subjects of mutual Interest? Still, ns things go, people meet all “BEG PARDON, Sill,” HE SAID 1CII.Y, “llt’T through a season in the midst of groups IT WAS $5,000,(Kill.” and throngs at dinners, receptions, en under discussion. Speculation was at tertainments of all kinds—without ex that time rife as to whether or not changing one word Hi tlie way of true Castro would be driven out of Vene intercourse.—Exchange. zuela. Dr. Illll cited the cnse of former Sn-lft AV a* a Dunce at School. President Blanco, whose adininis ra Not only philosophers and divines, tion was overturned after he had. ac but some of tlie most trenchant satir cording to common report, richly feath ists and brilliant humorists were dull ered ids nest. Blanco was strolling on enough as boys. It has been said of a boulevard in Paris. A passing pe Swift in Ills best days that “lie dis destrian arrested the pace of ids coin played either tlie blasting lightning of pa n ion. satire or tlie lambent and meteorllke "See that man? lie stole $3.000.000 caricatures of frolicsome humor.” And when his government was over yet tills vigorous disputant was consid thrown.” ered a fit subject for a fool’s cap at Quick as a flash Blanco turned. school. Afterward at tlie Dublin uni "Beg pardon, sir,” lie said icily, “but versity “he was by scholars esteemed it was $5.000.1MH».”—St. Louis Repub a blockhead,” who was denied liis de lie. gree on his first application and ob tained it with great difficulty on the Wliy the Boys l.amdied. second.—London Standard. . The late Frank 11. Peavy, the so called "elevator king" of Mi linen pel Is. A I.arue Department. on whose life an insurance cuinpany Mr. McBride was showing bis wife paid a policy of $1.IMK».O(IO, was a great tlie workings of our national congress. friend of tlie Minneapolis news! oys Tlie Detroit Free Press represents her and never missed a elm nee to aid them. as putting to her spouse this intelli One Sunday afternoon he arranged to gent question: address them in St. Mark's church, "But where is the framing depart and one section of the edifice was well ment?” tilled with the little fellows who had “Tlie what?” responded to his Invitation. He spoke "I read in tlie papers that laws were on thrift and dwelt long ami earnestly framed In Washington,” she explained. on the evils of gambling. To einplui size liis remarks he wound up with an The Reni Test. anecdote and pointed his moral with: Ilardup —I tried to sell those dia “I'll bet a dollar none of you fellows’ monds I bought of you uud was told would do like that, would yon. boys?" they were not genuine. He was quite at a loss for a inouient Jeweler—Did you sell them? to account for the roar of laughter I lint Ilardup Yes. for almost nothing. greeted this remark, but win n liglr Jeweler Wi ll, you go back and try came he joined in tlie laugh ns liearilly to buy them, and you will find out that | ns the rest. they are genuine.—New York Weekly. One lloy'a Worth. When Horace Mann made a famous speech for the dedication of a building that had cost many thousand dollars devoted to the reformation of bad boys, he said, “L* all this which lias been spent upon tills building results in the reformation of one Imy, it Is tnorey well spent.” Somebody said to him, “Mr. Mann, do you tliink one boy Is worth nil tlmt money?" He replied, “Yes, if it Is my boy or your boy.”— Primary Education. Three Kanaka* Wenl Down aad Got Him While He W a* Asleep. i : I I I Took Him I.lternlly. Aii IiiipoMNlble Condition. A short time ago a printer brought to Dan Daly for Inspection n proof of n new poster, which, after tlie nuiiin r of Its kind, announced tlie actor a “the distinctively original e .inei! an. Dan Duly.” Mr. Daly did not fully approve of it “I wish you'd leave out that 'dis tinctively original’ business. I'd much rather have It simple 'Dan Duly.'” iv said. “Very good, sir.” The next week Daly saw tin1 tir t of Ids new bills In position. Ills reqir t had been carried out to the letter. I 'le poster announced the coming engnf o ment of “Simple Dan Dale." “You say you can't afford to hire a clerk. Why don’t you get your wife to do your typewriting?” “Iinpossllili'! Sli<> wouldn’t submit to any dictation.”—Richmond Dispatch. An Indication. Fenr* I.onK Drawn Out. Diggs Rounder Is quite ill. Biggs Indeed! His wife naturally Ims grave fears about him, 1 suppose? Diggs Yes. hi fact. I tliink her fears extend lieyond the grave.— Exchange. A woman Is not real old fashioned unless she makes a salve for neighbor hood use for cuts, bruises and burns.- - Atchison Globe. Looking Abend. Doseleigh Why do you insist upon Bertha —I guess it's going to be ii the new pastor being a fat man? match between Maude and Charley Deacon Broadnlsle—Because fat men Constance—So? Bertha—Yes. Maude today spoke o> are generally winded. his stuttering as a slight hesitancy In the enunciation of words. — Boston Speaking of perfect linppiness, ever Transcript. notice a boy carrying a pup?—Atchison Globe. Grew Too Fant. Little Tommy when told that he was growing fast answered: "Yes; too fast. I think they water tne too much. Why. I have to take a bath every morning!”—Exchange. The man who loudly announces be fore marriage tlmt he Is going to be master is the »nine who after marriage pulls carpet tacks with bls teeth.— Baltimore News.