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About The Oregon daily journal. (Portland, Or.) 1902-1972 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 25, 1904)
THE OREOOH SUNDAY JOUKWAL. PORTLAND. SUNDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 15. 1901 Cki immie (Oopjrrlght 104, by Hwirl w. tm- D KHK I Just on tins I tuti and cant net. A silk dtor. a Ud, a bonnet Be-? Mr. Paul haa tola of 'am. but hta Jap valat grabs 'am off of air. Paul aa fat aa day fata a little on da blink, and I never fata a look-in on a Ud of da kind. - It's a tunny tins about dat Jap and ail of 'am dat he'd raddar wear a allk Ud dan hear of anoddar walloping of Cory Pat McCann by Fujamame. Mr Paul's valat baa a nam of hie own dat would loo every toot In your head to try to amy, so, I oaJla him Toklo to eave dentist' bllla. Wall. Toklo. ha sraba off all da allk dlcara dat Mr. Paul ealla in. and what he don't wear hlmaelt he paaaaa out at a profit to de odder Jap valeta he run wit. bo i never gets a chance at em. But I taught I had a cinch on on d odder day. Mlaa Fan Hi ah glvea a mualo gala -whafa datf mualcaleT Well, If dafa de name of da abow let It go at dat, but I alwaya taught It waa a mualo gale. It'a mora Ilk It Anyway. Miss Kunnle aha give ona of 'em, and dere waa profeah all over de houae singing Dutch opera, and flaying awaltaar tlnga on the piano till wondered wddr we waa on da Nort river or da Rhine. What' a de matter wit American mualoT I waan't da only ona who waa asking dat question, for after de forn protean had aung all da Leber Augustine dere waa In dr box of tricks, and da long haired piano Charlie had knocked de wire out of da machine, and day had all got delr good little check for Ions sreen. and son off for delr frank fortara and beer, de gents get togedder In de smoking room, and saya dat for da real ting In music d aons of Broad way beat any band dat ever com over from Cher many. Mr. Paul says he had da greatest American songster on da etage ' right dere; and IX da genta wanted to haar de real article he'd try and oblige. Day all saya "Burl" and "Hear. har!" and Mr. Paul atop me pulling de plugs from pints, and says. "Chamcs." h aaya. "oblige d company wit your original 1 plaintive narrative opus obllgato in ix flats and four sharps, entitled, 'When de Day's work Is Done.' " gay, dat's d sons I usd to Bins to me own kiddle, aa wall as to mile Mlaa Fannie, when de nolaa couldn't got de sand man to come. It'a all right to put klda to Bleep wit, but dat Isn't d effect It has on grown-ups I'd alng It to you now, only da cope would run me In for creatine: a dlstolbance. Dat I de way de wolds goes If I hasn't told you before: "Wan morning asrly Oi arose. And Ol Duta on ma wolklng close, And where In de wolld dy' tlnk I goea tin. un. un. To a Hundred and Nlnety-slxt et reet." Dan d song goes on to tall how d (ally haan't de price of a ticket to rid back horn In d Nlnt ward Dy nuuwoy or Elevated, ao ha walks home, and when he gets dere It'a time to start back again; and ao all de time ho lan't wolk lng he's walking to wolk and back, and never getting a chance to t, drink or so to bed. he savoa Rll his wagoa until he seta enough to buy a brown stone front and run for alderman.. Well, say, sftr about de fort verse, when d genta waa next to da chorus, and could alng It In time and tuna, wa were having more of a music gal dan day had upatalra In de mualo room, and mora fun. too. I knows dat de gents had a good time from de sis of d tip day yielded up to me; end right dere wss where I aeen a silk, dicer floating my way. I had more dan d pric all right but I didn't got da Ud. When I sees Duohess after da ball waa wrr. aha aaya "Wss da house on fir down In de smoking room, or waa dere only murder?" - "On your way,' woman I" X says, "It was me singing.'' "Indeed?" she aaya. hoisting her eye brows, "I taught It wa a riot." "De genta didn't tlnk ao, smarty." X say. "How do you know?" she saya "Dey may said polite tings to you, but dy couldn't been amused by a diatolbance of the peace." "Couldn't dey!" I says, getting hot In de collar. "Well." says t "do you call desa tings polite remarks, or ar dey long green? Is deae tings proof dat your husband can outalng any Cherman apleler dat ever com over on a ten dollar eteerase ticket, or not ? Maybe I waa only dlatolblng da peace, but if I waa, somebody elae paid de fine." Dat's what I said, being stuck on meaelf. I'll never be anytlng but a farmer. If I live to be aa old aa one of Sir. Depoo's youngest stories. Duchess, aba kind of felt for d long green I waa making auoh a front wit, aha kind of annexed it. and ah kind of sunk It In her Jeans snd dat was da finish of It for yours truly. "I'll keep thU, Master CheemS." she say "Ton sre so foolish a young man dst you are not to be truated wit money. I suspected dat you waa making tips down dere when I hears your vole going up, up. to do Harlem, ao I just El-j-a-sWl Ira S3 m "Up. Up. Up. Faaa eil WISDOM Jollied you to make you show de atuff gave you a coin talk to make you flash de goods, ao I oould get my pretty hands on em. 80 foolish a person, one to aay flim-flammed out of bla tlpa. muat not be let to keep money; ao your dear wife win hold de stakes for you till you get wise aa wise aa your wife." If man waan't so easy mad a fool of by a woman he would have an eas ier Job proving how much wiser, dan woman ha I If I had kept all de tips Duoheaa haa touched ma for. If 1 had salted away half of de boodle I haa loat to dat woman because I geta chesty when aha la only getting wis, I'd hav a bank roll so big dat it would be a shame to own It. I sup pose dat de reason dat a man la made to tlnk dat he la wlaar dan woman Is to make It aaaler for woman to wolk htm. Woman len't built to wolk very hard, and as she has mostly to wolk man, da good Lord mad him ao easy to wolk dat It seems queer ahe lant ashamed to toln such an easy trick. But I waa solng to tell you about me fren de Jap valet. Dat mug apends moat of his time rending a book by Billy no, not BlUy, but an odder Em arson named Ralph Waldo. I don't tlnk he waa In de minstrel line like Billy anyway, when de Jap give me on of his books to read I didn't see no good endman Joke In It. It waa funny, all right; but Toklo tell me dat It wasn't meant to be funny. . "What 1 It, dnT" I aks him. "It's phlloa'phy," ha saya. "What kind of a film-flam gam la dat?" I says. "It's a speculation on d nature of ting," he saya right off de reel, like h knew what de wolda meant. "You didn't hav to read no book to do datT" I aay "Tings," I aaya, "la tlnga, snd dey stays tings wedder you speculates - on 'em or buys 'em right out and puts 'em In saf deposit. Anyway, It's a farmer's gam to specu late. 1 JL beard Whisker aay dat de only way to do la to pay for what you get; put up no margin, but par de whole price, and den you don't care If de market for de tings goes down. All dat you has to do I to wait for It to go up sgaln. Tlnga muat go up sometimes, or dere would be no plqe for 'em to go down to. Don't specu late, Toklo," I says to him, - for h Is good sort snd I like him. "Take an American's advlcs and don't specu late, no matter what dl mug Emerson saya. Don't take d bait In your moot while da bait la s till on de hook. Take do bait off de hook and den It will taste better, and you wont' gat such s sore mout." Tou mistake." aaya Toklo "De ting dat phllos'pher speculate about or on la not material tings, not real tlnga, not ttnga wit substance." . Oh." I aaya, "I tumble now. Ohosts, h? Wen. I has known mugs dat speculated on ghosts, and dey Is da easiest trends I has to locate- dey Is all In de bughouaa now. In ds 'aylums T Cut It out, Toklo. Tou Is a good boy and can drink a glass of beer Ilk a real American. Cut out de ghosts, or you'll he seeing ting dat lan't dere. Have nottlng to do wit phll oa'phy, If data de game. Opium Is eas ier, snd you hav de smoking of It. I'll loan you a copy of Billy Emerson's song- book. It'll do you more good, and when you hav lolned da wolda I'll teach you d tune and we'll gave a concert to de help." Toklo looked like he would go an oddar round wit me and see could he HI1NJIV to a Hundred and Ninety-Slat THE WISDOM OF WOMAN AND OF PHILOSOPHER . . i get his Ideas Into me capo, but I dis couraged him. "It's no use. Toklo, me boy," I saya to him. "I know what you are up against now, only I didn't know its polite name was phlloa'phy. In America we call on kind pip dream and anodder kind cranklam Dey is all de same ting. Also, Toklo, dey lead to d same -kind of wuxxl nea Cut it ail out. It come from a bad liver. Tou ar not taking enough exercise, me . boy. Put on two over coat and come wit me for a 10-mlle fast walk down de Poat road. No body on eart ever speculated on de nature of tlnga while he was In a good sweat from open-air exercise. Dere Isn't a man In d bughouse in de wolld dat ever rode horseback or played golf or sawed wood regular. Tings dat isn't real wasn't made to be speculated on. Walk around a block to get rid of seeing a ting dat can't be aeen. Dey may be all right for mug dat can aee double, but for plain sober taxpayers de wolst ting dat can happen Is to snarl up his linking machine about tings dat isn't" "But." says Toklo, butting In, "If w do not study phllos'pby, how can we know what Is?" "Tut!" I saya. Tou phllos'phers are not trying to find out what is; you ar rubbering to find out what Isn't. Dat way to de bughouse!" WISDOM'S Prom the Philadelphia Bulletin. It la well to take time In thinking be fore making accusations. There Is a species of treason in carry ing water on both shoulders In a love affair. Woman take fright easily over a lover's compliments to another of the fair sex. In every man there is a disposition to do the grand where women ar con ccrned. Bom women aay nice thing in 1 way that bring a feeling of pride as well as satisfaction. When one man sneers at another It Is fair to presume jealousy is at the bottom of it It hurts a woman's pride to have an other woman share with her "a man's attention. Many men dellsht to play the heavy awell In a uniform that la gaudy and cheap. A woman who oan us her eye with effect 1 a dangerous rival When a man regards himself as lrre ststlbl It is time to do some quiet thinking and aelf -abnegation. oodd's CTjsiious nana From the Spectator. An tnte-restlng book might be written on the aubject of Curloua Defenses. On excellent Instance la supplied here In what waa known aa "Codd'a Puxzle Codd was defending a client accuaed of stealing a duck. He set up seven de fenses: (1) The accused bought the duck snd paid for It; (2) he found It; (3 It waa given to him; (4) it flew into his garden: (I) It was put Into hla pocket while ha slept. 6 and T ar not recorded; but an amicua curia aug gested that there never wss any duck at all. The accused was acquitted, not "be cause they chose any particular de fense, but becau they did not know which to choose, and so gav the pris oner the benefit of th doubt." wKm m in Street." Inventive Cranks From th New Tork Herald. HE patent office 1 th great re pository of Ideas, an Index to American genius and invention. Among the archives of the of fice ar found the beginning of almost everything which today goes to make up th sum total of national greatness aa a people of advanced ideas. Among th thousand and on lines of business carried on by the government, th patent office stands almoat alone as a paying inveatment Nearly S4.000.000 Is credited to it on the books of the treasury earnings above expenses of th office and every dollar represents the confidence with which some genius was willing to back up his idea Moat patenta fall to pay th coat of th patent This I for various reaaona first the amount of money required to exploit them: second, lack of business ability In getting the thing properly Be fore the public; and, lastly, their gen eral uaeleaanea During the .Spanish war a man from New Jersey Invented a cannon and aent It to an attorney with an application for a patent The Invention consisted of on cannon Inside of another, and Inside of the second wa a projectile, and In the end of th projectile ware a large number of hole Ilka a gatllng gun. The Idea of the Inventor waa to fir the second cannon out of the first. After It had gone aa far aa It would without falling. It would explode a chars of powder and start the projectile on It way, and after this had gone a far aa it would without falling it would In turn explode lta charge of powder and send the bullet contained In It rifle hole on their mission of deatructlon. In thia way the Inventor said the distance would be wonderfully Increased. The Idea waa new, and under the law patentable, but the war waa short and the Inventor did not press his claim, and It went by default Another patent Is th invention of a woman. When th drop-frame bicycle cam Into use sh waa shocked by the exhibition of hoalery and devlaad means to prevent It. Her Invention conalated of a pair of wing, on on each aide of a bicycle. , These contained rlba like thoae of an umbrella, with webbing of om fabric atretched between. Application for a patent wa made and the patent granted. The appliance never came into us Th perpetual-motion crank still flourishes Every day of th year on bob up and lnvadea th patent office The government require a fee of tit to accompany each application, and thla fee is not returnable, and at th same time the office may call for a working model. Uere la the anas which wrecks the hopes of the Inventor. If th work ing modal la not forthcoming, the In ventor la out hla tit, besides th fee be haa paid his attorney. An invention made by western man which he considered of great utility, was a waablng machine. Tubs and wash boards are common things, but he was the flrat to think of aawlng a barrel in two, put a washboard in one half and call it a "washing machine." Ha made application for a patent and received one upon the combination of half barrel and a washboard." A middle- aged man called upon a patent attorney aeveral yeara ago, and after a ahort talk he was turned over to a draughtsman, who was instructed to reduce to a draw lng the Idea of the new arrival. He ex plained what he wanted, but would not tell the purpose of hi Invention. When all was ready he began by saying: "Now draw a line across the paper like this" indlcatlang with hta finger "now ona here and one there; now put a circle In mere and a cogwheel In there." He con tlnued In this way till the draughtsman began to aee what he waa after, and In an unguarded moment said: "Why, this must be a perpetual-motion machine. The Inventor was startled and began to tremble from head to foot. Cold per spiration broke out on hi face. Td he fori to the floor In a faint HI Ufa se cret had been discovered and all waa lost. When he recovered from hla faint his mind waa gona He waa finally aent to hi home by the authorities, and has not since been heard from. An apparatus to prevent collision of railway trains was once patented. A clttsen of th United 8tata, with facill ties for observing speed of railway trains, muat be deficient In hi knowl edge of physic and the laws of momen tum and inertia who will waate hta time In devlaing such an apparataua as de scribed In patent 386.403. . ima npparatua consiata or a telescope plow extending 20 to to feet in front of the engine It is designed to ettwslr th peed of th colliding trains by com pressing th air in th teleacope exten alone and at th same time turning off the ateam or reversing the engines Another scheme of utter ualasness waa patent No. (to, granted In ISSs. Thla device conalata of a aerie of rail way train superimposed upon another until rive trains ar piled upon each other, all running In th same direction at th rat of 20 mile an hour. Th Inventor asserted that it would be easy to obtain a speed of 100 to 200 miles an hour. It took a eltlsen of Canada, however to Invent on of th greatest combina tion articles. This Invention Is a com bination grower's package, grater, allcer. mouse and fly trap. It would be very handy to use on of then Inst rumen fa during th day as a fly trap, and dur ing the night to catch mica. In the morning on could put It In a pall of hot water and kilt the mica, empty them out and alio the potatoes to fry for breakfast. This msn found two other men who were willing to put up the cost for a two thirds Interest In the inven tion. Patent No. 805,102 waa lasued Sep tember It, 1884, for an illuminating de vice for frightening ratee and mice. Thla Invention constate of a etatu of a cat described by the Inventor aa fol lows: "Referring to the drawings. It will be seen that I hav shown th figure of S oat cut out of cardboard and painted to present an attractive appearance, tbe cat being ehown In a Bitting posture, with its head turned toward the right and Its eyes directed toward and watching an object near by. Over this painted figure I apply several mats of Illumi nating paint, ao that It will shine In the dark, and I then perfume the figure with oil of peppermint, which Is obnoxious to rats snd mica and will serve aa an ex terminator. - The eyea of the cat are covered with thick coat of phosphorus, so as to shine out more brilliantly than th body of th figure. To the back of th figure is S swinging flap, arranged to fold tint against the back or swing outward to rest on th stand or floor so sa to sup port th figure In an upright position. "The operation and advantages of my Invention will be readily understood from the foregoing description taken In connection with the drawing " A patent waa Issued In 184 for a "grave signal." Thla apparatus waa In tended to be planted In th grave and give notice tO th outside world that th person burled was alive All on had to do whan h found himself hurled alive was to take th coffin end of the pip In hla mouth snd blow with all his might and keep if up until It attracted atten tion. Patent No. 4,t00. Issued in 188R. was never exploited. This Invention consist- i ed of a funnel-shaped attachment to s kevhole. and was of undoubted utIHty i under some circumstance The device j Poker a 7 It'll (From the New Tork Bun.) E HAVE a Red Star poker pack in Bosobo. If a stranger dropped Into the club casually between boat he might think that the battalion here waa a - quiet and churchgolng aggregation, because he would see th members shooting crap St a nickel a throw or throwing poker dice half an hour for th drink But these paatlmea are only the gambols of the wild beasts In their dan. Whelp cannot rob whelp. Therefore. In time of peace, a Bogoboan quite when he wins or loses 10 pesos. Mexican, and the party apend the proceeds In win for the bunch. But whenever a boat I coming in you can haar th whirring noise of sharpen ing claws. Th pet whelp ar getting ready to show their visitors what one brother officer can do to another. Aa a rule, the home crowd wlna. In fact, aa a very general rule. Hardly a stranger drops In on a tranaport with out being hospitably . wined and dined by some kind-hearted member of the pack, and then bslng scientifically shorn of ail the cash he can be brought to eonaent to loae between dinner and 6 o'clock In the morning. There are reaaona why thla la excus able In Bognbo. In the flrat place. It la in the Philippines, and In the Philip pines a man may do a lot of thlnga that he would cut another man for doing at home. In the second place, th members of th pack need th money. A number of humorou tradition exist among the pack. On la about a Junior subaltern who arrived on hla way to Join hla regiment Th senior subaltern had known him before, so hs asked him to dinner, and- over the cor- f dials mentioned poker. "Do you have a game down here?" the Junior aaked, knocking off tbe ash of hla cigar with the wsary air of a man of the world. "Oh. a little gam" anawered the senior casually. "I don't like these cheap Uttle games They're no aport. They're not poker," replied the Junior In a auperlor way. "Oh. I guess you'd find this crowd brlak enough If you'd urge 'em," the aenlor said. "In fact I heard a couple of them before dinner wondering whether a youth of your tender yeara could play any kind of a gSm at all." "Well, I won a hundred and forty in Zambo a couple of nlghta back. I think I can afford anything you run here abouts. If any of your heavy aporta want to play, I'm willing to ait in with them." 80 they played, and the Junior left hie hundred and forty and two months' pay besides behind him. "It was s shame," the senior remarked to his admiring wife. "Ha didn't know nuts about poker. But we really needed the cash, and, besides. It will do him good." There I another story that la not ao pleasant about a member of the civil government who waa filled with mixed drinks until he waa quite maudlin and waa then invited Into a game, where he contributed the pay check and all th money he had in hla clothea to the pack. But this la not spoken of generally, and st that time, besides, th creditor at home war getting unusually dlsagree Sble. Vet. In spite of such contributions, th dlnero slips away somehow, even in Bosobo, and It chanced that one day a boat arrived with letters for two of the pack from the adjutant-general of the army, directing the full and Immediate settlement of certain tailore' and mer chants' bllla forwarded, after ffequent fruitless personal applications to the war department for official action. The gentlemen concerned were prop erly indignant but they were also cramped for funda. While looking about for Some meana to raise caan very promptly they met In th club a captain of engineers who had come in on th boat and wa to stay on shore over night. Thla engineer was a rural looking chap, with eyes t hat were about aa animated aa thoae of a burro enjoying its evening hay. Hie khaki was mussed and stained and there was dandruff on hla collar. When the debtors aaw hire ho was sitting abaent-mlndedly on a corner of the pins pons Uble, making calculations In a note book. They lntroflueea tnem aelvea. and ordered drinks. The engineer took ginger all for hie. "I see." he remarked, "that you have a pleasant club, with ample equipment for all clasaea of amuaement." He In dicated the pool and billiard and ping pong tablee with a gesture. Yea. anawered tne commisesry. a man needs ail the fun he can get her" A certain amount of recreation la moat advlaable In the tropica, not only beoauae of lta mental advantsgea, but also on account Of its physical fits," returned th engineer. was designed to sastst one to find lost of moving keyhole, and was especially valuable to a man who arrived horn at 2 o'clock to find that his wife had moved tha keyhole several Inches out of its usual position. th Nw Tork World. An attempt will be mad thla winter to amend th Interstate commerce law in an effort to break up the green-gooda business. It Is proposed that telegrapn and express companlea b prohibited from handling message or parcels con nected with bunko gsmes. green goods or lotteries. All. of these ar already excluded from th mall. Notwithstanding all th publicity; It haa had. th green-goods industry con tinues to flourish. Like the wire tapping, mining stock, gold-brick, lost treasure and similar swindles. It lives on the cupidity of the swindled, and Its aafe workings depnd on th shame facednees of tha victim and hla unwill ingness to let his neighbors know the kind of a man he I A man who la himself honest la pro tected by that very fact from all such forma of swindling From the New Tork World In aeveral mining counties of Penn- aylvanla the local authorities ar at tempting to seour legislation that win fasten the expenee of paupers and criminals upon th coal companl Which brought them to the neighbor hood In both the anthracite and the soft-coal regions ' there are many as sault robberies end murders, for which the county treaeurles hav to pay. Th majority of th Inmates of the county hospitals, poorhouaea and Jails ar In jured er discharged men from the mine The legislation proposed t to re quire th corporation which bring th man to the county to give surety for him in somewhat Ilk manner to the bonds required from foreign steamship companies, me argument is maoe in. both the sarety or in miner ana in general public Interest demand that reasonanie care anouin do exercsca iu selecting th employ in tne Philippines Tbe commissary kicked the aubaltern'a foot under the table. "Yea." he aald. "we find It ao. hankers after excitement a lot senior A man There'a no doubt of that "Up at Ban Jo," remarked th engi neer, "where I have been engaged In th construction of a road, tha officers have bean ao hard preased for amuaement that they have each evening gathered about the mess table after aupper and played cards until far Into the morning. I confeaa that I often deaired to enter Into the game myaelf, but my work wa of auch a nature that I waa uaually obliged to apend the major portion of tha evening In solving mathematical or topo graphical problems." "Do you play cards?" aaked the com missary, with carefully concealed eager ness." "I have alwaya had a predilection for oarda, I muat confeaa. Evan when quite a child I waa enthusiastic about casslno and other simple gam. Later, I took a decided fancy to whist, and of late bridge has been strangely attractive to ma" "Did you evr try poker?" "I have, but not to any extent. It aeema to me a game of great possibili ties, and on that furnishes much ex citement. "Suppose we try a little game tonight? There are three or four of ue here who play a bit What do you say? There la nothing elae to do in the evenlnga. Tou can dine with me. and I will try to get In enough to fill up later." So that night there gathered about tha aenlor aubaltern'a round green table the pack and the engineer. The engineer's cheeks were already flushed with wine, and the glass at hla elbow waa unobtrusively kept always filled by the senior aubaltern'a boy. The pack drank a great deal of aoda with very little Scotch. Tha engineer drank a great deal of Scotch with very little aoda. Tha highly educated boy took care of that And after all. If a gen tleman doeo not ask otherwise, la It not only proper hospitality to warm the cocklea of hla heart with the strongest drinks possible? Out of respect for the engineer's timidity the gam began with a 5 cent ante and a quarter limit. Th engineer handled hla cards with the same ease with which the baboon at the soo han dles his knife and fork. He bet In th strangest fnshlon. and drew to such Incomprehensible thlnga as three little cards for a flush, or broke a pair of aces to fill an Inside straight. He waa childishly eager and alwaya told every one what he had dona and what he had failed to do. The Scotch wa plainly getting the best of him. Tet he waa winning alowly. The pack, however, did not appear to mind that. Gradually the game hit up, until by 1 o'clock the limit waa off, and the ant was up to C dollar, tip to this time, th engineer had been gaining. He cleared off the first unlimited pot, and that put him 193 ahead of the game. He ennounced then that he was tired and that he wanted to quit. He thought the liquor was going to his head, he aald. But the pack would not hear of auch a thing. They never broke up until t o'clock. The mere Idea of an officer and a gentleman stopping at that hour of the night when he waa ahead was aomethlng they could not understand. 80 their tired victim stayed. Th chip flew faat and furioua. Th pack sank deeper Into their chairs, carefully hiding their hand from each other, and drink ing nothing at all but aoda. The prop erly educated boy kept Increasing th proportion of Scotch in th engineer glaaa. Tha engineer was getting more flushed and more excited every minute. Tet every now and then he won eome how or other. He seemed to have -the most Infernal lack. ' The pack hung to him hard Snd fast, knowing that at last h must com down, but by 2 o'clock he was still fifty ahead. By 8 he was aeventy-five, although In the meantime he had once alid forty behind. But at 4 he waa twenty out HI hand shook ao that he picked up hla chip with difficulty and hi eyes war badly bleared. Th pack saw plainly that th time had come. "Let's have five 110 Jacks snd quiet," the commissary aald. "A right"' agreed the engineer, shov ing out four blue chlpa. "Hold up there. That's too many." aald the commissary, puahlng three of them back. "Sure." murmured th engineer, sleep ily The senior subaltern dlt. The pack picked up their card, but tha engineer sank back In hla chair with hla eye shut leaving his hand on the table. "Wake him up there." ssld the senior subaltern, roughly. From th Nw Tork World IHCRE I every reason to believe that primitive man had a thick and abundant head of hair, and that thla natural clothing of th scalp la diminishing among civilized peo ple and wUl end by disappearing alto gether, which would certainly not be advantageous from an esthetic point of view. The cause of this disappearance of the hair, according to the doctors, must be aought in the very conditions of civilisation and In tbe customs it has Introduced. One of th cuatoma espe cially hurtful to the hair Is the bat and, above all, the masculine bat; so we see man's hair suffer more than woman' The hat produnea baldness by two dif ferent methoda. Flrat by creating about the head an atmosphere which I fatally wurm and molat, and which prevents th penetration of th ray of light that ar so fatal to bacteria; the hat make for the microbe a sort of improvised hot bed, which 1 extremely favorable to their development and It I known that mlcrobea play an Important role In th production of baldness. If it had been deaired to foster th existence of mi crobes capabl of living upon th scalp or in th hair, a mor favorable mean for thatr protection and multiplication than th hat could not hav bean found. Again, th hat, holding lta place upon th head aolely by pressure, exert s second pernicious Influence upon the scalp; it compraaae the arteries and the veins; It Impedes th circulation of th blood, end consequently the nutrition of the organs which produce th hair. It la therefore doubly desirable that the reign of the hat should cess In the case of men for with woman th hat la so light a thing that It can exert only a trifling proportion of th ravage It la responsi ble for In men and that this garmant should he renounced or replaced by some less Injurious artlcl A a matter of fact, men would be very healthy with here head The hair would be etrength ened and would aerve ss a hat; It would only be nceaary to protect the head agalnat the rays of tbe sun In summer In order to prevent sunstroke. It I rue the public Imagines that It would catch cold nor easily, but thla la mtataka A draught alone Is not enough to give cold; s mlerob Is absolutory How Hats Cause Baldness j Th highly educated boy shook U sleeper by the houMr. . - .- "Whatah matter?" naked th engla "Oh. my bett-i He reached uncertainly for his ptls of chips. "No. no." ssld the commissary, testily. "Look at your hand" The engineer clutched hla cards and stared at them vacantly. "I open," aald th commissary, "or twenty-five." "Twenty-five more to draw cards," aald tha captain of Company B. ehovlng a pile of blues out on the table, The ordnance officer stayed. "What do you do?" the senior eub altern aaked the engineer sharply The engineer surveyed him with re proach. "I come In." he aald. laboriously. "Then put In your fifty dollars." The engineer picked up a pile of chips and dropped them In the center of tbe Uble. "Hold on. that's s hundred." "Don't care. Let 'er ahtay. I ratee -hie Br The aenlor subaltern scowled, but came up with hla hundred. He had three queens on the deal. The others stayed nervously, not liking th situation. Bom of them had to lose anyhow. Th commissary drew two card. Th captain of Company B stood pat Th ordnance officer took one and filled a flush. The engineer slipped back In hla chair with his cards on his lap. "Wake up that drunken fool," said th senior subaltern angrily. "Damn him. he has put thing In a pretty mess here!' "EhT" he aald. "How many, cards do you want?" "Cardan?" "Tea, cards. How many?" The engineer looked qulxsloally at Wg hand. "I don't know," he aollloqulsad. "Hv I got to take any?" "No, of course not Don't you want snyT" "Well, you ml give m' on for luck.'" H dropped s card on th table. Th aenlor subaltern dealt him another, which th engineer .let lie untouched, face downward by his chips. "The dealer takes two." said th senlos subaltern "It's your bet." Th commissary counted out five chips. - "I bet fifty." he remarked. "I raise that twenty-five," aald th captain of Company B. Again the ordnance officer stayed. .The engineer pushed out ten blue) chip. "Raiah It." he muttered, "that much. The senior subaltern glared st him and saw It The commissary raised twenty-five more. Th captain of Com pany B saw that So did th ordnance) officer. The engineer straightened up in hist chair. "8hntlmn." h said. "I she that an' I raiah t $800 gol '." He reached unsteadily -down In his pocket and drew out a banknote for that amount which he deposited among th chips. "1 Jood heaven, man, you haven't evgta looked at your draw! Ar you eraxy?" cried the senior subaltern. "Don't do that!" "No. 'M not craahy. Guesh may b m a little drunk. I raiah 600 though.- "But there Isn't a man here haa 800) left." "Never mind Put In what you'v got." snapped the senior subaltern. "We'll have a show down and each man . . - , ,K a.SM ftkA ha, 1. M line, , uiisuu. IUI tut. niir..n "A'righ," said the' engineer. "Put up your piles," gentlemen." The pack ahoved In all they had. There was a heap of nearly 13.000 on the table, "I have four I'll' sees " remarked th engineer blandly, laying hla hand down, face up. on th table. A shivering groan ran through fh Anybody beat thatr ssked th BBS, Th senior subaltern looked from face) to face. "Take the pot." he said hoarsely. The engineer scooped in the pile with both arm. "Nothing in th world." he remarked cheerfully," has euch a sobering effect on s man aa seeing four sees come up on the deal. I feel quit able to proceed with the other four pots, gentlemen. Do you ear to go on? Not Thn t shall cash in." Th aenlor subaltern counted out bill for th chip. Not a word wss said by the pack. "I must get aboard now." remarked the engineer, pleasantly. "I am glad te hav met you. I have heard of this game before. In fact I have a young cousin in the civil service who dropped some months' pay her on sight He especially recommended you ss a highly entertaining aggregation. I wish you a) very good night gentlemen." asary. From the hygienic point of vlw there are fewer Inconveniences In going with th head bar than In carrying about upon It a hothouse for microbes. A TO QTJAUXT OF From the Chicago Tribune. Many people Imagine that a brews shelled egg Is better then ore with whit shell. This Is purely Imagination, and tha only way to test th rtchnee of aa egg la to break it and look at th yolk. The deep orange yolks sre th beet and tha pale yellow ones the poor est. City hens or those which sre badly fed and whose runs snd roosts sre poor ly ventilated snd badly cleaned lay tha pale yellow egg Thoae which live in the country lay the rich orange ones, as do aU wild birds. Anaemic egga con-' tain leas Iron than rich ones, and are fer less nutritious; but there Is only ens way to teat an egg's quality, and that is to break It oiling Point of Wa From the New Tork Harold. Water bolla at different temperatures, according to the elevation above sea level. In London water boils practically at 212 degrees Fahrenheit; In Munich. Germany, at 30H degrees, in th City of Mexico at 200 degree, and la th Himalaya, at an elevation of 18,oe -feet sbov th level of th sea. st ltd degree. The difference are caused by the varying preeeur of th atmos phere at these point. In London the), whole weight of the sir hs to be over come la Mas too. 7.000 feet sbov th sea. there is 7.000 ft Use of at mo. pher to be resisted; consequently beat I required and selling takes St s lower tesapsratur The amaUsst li world is that en hous stands, for at lew water only 80 feet in diameter At high the of the llghUSwSS. wwt a diameter f only a little ever Is completely covered kg wejatw J