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About The Coos Bay times. (Marshfield, Or.) 1906-1957 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 14, 1916)
, r ? rrvw n- rtr r ' ' "r" ' 'IBf THE COOS BAY TIMES, MARSHFIELO, OREGON, FRIDAY, JANUARY 14, 1916 EVENING EDITION. 1. THREE 1 1-. . If . The Central Avenue Booster CENTRAL AVENUE, FRIDAY, JANUARY J I, U)1(J No. 70 VOL. J. ' Remington Typewriter Company L. V. .IACOHS, District Sales Agent District Sales Agent Monroe Calculator TVI'I'WHITKHS OK ALIi MAKES FOR SALE Oil ItKXT C ' N'KW OH SECOND HAND Supplies !' s !: :: :! I'l'ort Rcpulilng OFFICE :-: - 73 Central Avenue Don't forget our - Canned Goods Specials fico our Window display f tlio different brands ami varieties thai mo "o tintlcliijc a special offer on now. You t'unno( afford (o nxciloiilc this opportunity,' us a Ulg advance Ik expected in enn IlCMl goods. Wo Imwi a fairly gnniLsiipply of Fiesli Fruits ami Vegetables nutl lll receive nddltlonnlshlpmi'iits on tlio first hunts fioiu the not tit ami Miiitli. Our preterit supply lurltitlcs: HWI?r.T POTATOES " '' CAULIFLOWER (.AMIAflK . . GREEN PEPPERS CAKKOTK HRUSSELS SPROUTS SQUASH ' ' 1 ' PUMPKIN CELERY LETTUCE , If you nro not a regular patron of Tlio Sanitary (horery, give iw ij, fou tiltil orders and lef us nem ( onMiato our superior service. Sanitary Food Store SERVICE FIRST (Formerly Nushurg's CJrocory.) PHONE Ulil SECOND AND CENTRAL Bring Us Your, Repair Work If your watch isn't keeping good tlmo, brine it in-nnd wo will clean It, rcRiilato it, or jnnku whatever ropnrs nro necessary. Our cbarfics arc most rcasorinblo tyul wo guaranlco our work. If you liavo n prcclous'Stono that you want mounted or tho mounting cliangod, wo can do It.,. And if you necd..ncwJuvclcry for nuy purposo, wo nro pro-pared to servo you." ' Wilson's Jewelry Store Wo gunrnutco C8 Control Avenue. Table and Kitchen Ware Tust glanco at our window and notice tlio flno attractive China nt tho low prices, either by sots or separate pieces. Wo have .somo flno aluminum cooking utensils that mivo woik and nionoy for (ho hoiihowifo. Como in nnd let uh show you tho merits of our Kitchen ranges Marshtield Hardware Co. Tho host In tho Hardware lino, llroadwny and Central Avenue Phono 1 Advertise in The Booster Have you got -anything to hoII or swap? Do you wnnt to buy anything? THEN TRY A AD WITH US B'eeest and only NowBpapor on Central Avenue. Advertising rntes furnished with groat cheor. Simulation nooks open to nobody. " You'll Have to Take Our Word for Iti -A DON'T BE A TITEWAD Pay un )'ur back subscription , tho UooBtor nnd thus fill a ,onB felt want on our part. RAPIER ON HOT AIR AND COLD POTATOES s. it Wo nro not Jn eayo . 6 mny with our wife, next ar. . .!,? :! mi- W, A. TOYE, DENTIST Cent i . ' lrV,ng llU1S entral Avone. Murslifleld 4 i "t,,ue. Murslifleld ' j i our repair work. OTIS II. WILSON, Prop. A Good Place If you ask anyono on Coos Ray who knows tho places for a good placo to drop In to whllo away n fuw hours In tho evening, tho ans wer will bo: "THE SMOKEHOUSE" - Good billiard tables, good pool tables, comfoi'tahlo scats; tho best cigars, tobaccos and tho Into mag azines. Join the Good Fellows at The Smokehouse Central Avenuo's popular mooting placo. When In Want of Fire, Life and Ma rine insurance which insures, see SENSTACKEN the Insurance Man THE CENTRAL AVENUE BOOSTER Published Every Friday In the Inter est of Coos nny In General nnd Central Avcutto In particular. Entered nt tho Postofflco ns strictly Hrst-CIass mattorj thoro 1b nothing Sccond-dnss about Central Avcmto. Subscription Price. Your good will, and meraborsUlp In tho Booster Club OUR PLATFORM. One Stroot, Ono Flng, Ono Country, .. ..and Ono Wlfo at a tlmo OUR RELIGION. To Do Good. OUU POLITICS. More Business. REGIN THE NEW YEAH HlflHT DON'T you want to bogln tho Now Year with a clear con shlcnco? Don't you want to bogln tho Now Year with all your dots paid up to dato and with n clear pago beforo you? If so, and you owo Tlio Rooster anywhere from $10 to $15, why don't you stop into our offlco llko a man (or a woman ns tho enso may bo), and HCttlO? It will mako you fool hotter to do this, nnd mako us fool bettor nnd moro prosperous. Don't put this off, until you forget nbout it, but do it now. Show nn Interest in your street by helping tho only newspaper that is devoted to Cen tral avenuo. Help your own news papor nnd do It right nwny. BMILE-A-WHILE A PROHLEM FOIt CENTRAL AVE NUE SCIENTISTS Wo havo mado a lot of progress M tho years have rolled around; Modem sclouco has dono wondrous work in simplifying things. Tho horse is in tho discard, for a swifter stood they'vo found; And they'vo proved tho trick of flying's bottor dono without the wings. Thoy'vo produced a seedless ornngo nnd a nlcotinnloss plpo; ' And they ndvortlao tobacco with tho hlto nil tnkon out; Wo havo heard of coal oil heaters of tho uou-oxploslvo typo, i And palnlosB dentistry's n thing wo all hnvo road nbout. They havo mado a flroloss cooker that will bako, or stow or boll; Thoy'vo Invcmted smokeless powder and tho noiseless Maxim gun And scnnilcss shirts nnd hairless dogs nnd tastolcss castor oil; And wo might go on explaining othor wondrous things thoy'vo dono. , Tho gun without n hammer and tho spnrkless match wo see; Tho bouolcss ham, tho salllcss ship, nnd bloodless surgery; Tho wireless 'phono nnd tolograph aro things of startling naturo; Dut thoy'ro nothing to what's proph esied a porklosB Legislature No tolling what wo mny expect within tho next decado, With fertilo minds at work Invent lug thnt, improving this; If wo credit what thoy toll ub of tho progress thoy havo made, Wo may yet havo safety airships, and nn antiseptic kiss. It ut a sharp and sudden need has como to Orogon'a fair state Whoso suff'ring call to scionco Mnnftirs loud throughout tho land: A noed which must bo satisfied, and can't nbldo to wait, Tho multitudes aro crying: "Is no remedy nt hand?" Rise then somo mighty genius of whoso servlco to mankind Through all tho countless years to como prosperity shall brag; And wrack your brains to seo If nnmnwhoro. Eomoway. you can't find wimf Oroeon Is Dining for an ALCOHOLLESS JAG! . SMILE-A-WJIILE HOOSTEK'S WANT ADS. WANTED A furnished room by a liwit. with filectrlc lights and a cookstovo. care Dooster, Address "Slnglo. ' WANTED A sign painter who can paint tho olgns of tho times. HEALTH HINTS Houso cats carry gorms, you seo; I keep gold fish. W. D. V. I've a recipo for grin; Seo me, girls, before you sip. Frank Harlockor. . MILE-A-AVHI LE If you're told to spray your nose, Do not use tho garden hose. Frank Cohan. . 8MILE-A-WHILE Times Wnnt Ails aro tho ono ino ilium which reaches ALL tlio people. They eiiRago public attention oCry ,1,, j- Ahvajs on tho Job. CENTRAL AVENUE SAYINGS It's a long road to heaven, with lots of short cuts to tho other placo. SMILE-A-WHILE It Is Popular. Several of our woll-known citizens have boon la gripping tho past week. SMILE-A-WHILE Anotlicr Wreck. Another logging truck busted through Central avenuo at Eighth yestorday. Wo trust wo do not tiro our readers with too frequent accounts of theso Inci dents. BMILE-A-AVIIILE Somo Sickness. Thcro is con siderable sickness in our midst, mostly bad colds. Somo peoplo nlso has tho hooping cough and hoop It up protty lively, seolng aa it is a dry town. SMIIjE-A-WHILE Another Loga) Point. Jno. G(?bs Is said to b'o studying on tho ques tion whothor It would bo legnl If a passenger on tho Adollno Smith brought a jag to sea with him from San Francisco, to charge him for excess baggago. SMHiE-A-WIIIIjE W'y They Smile. Tho year 1010 is leap year and that explains why Claude Thompson, J. E. Montgom ery, Walt Dutlor, John Ferguson mid Jay Doylo and n few othora, nro weary bucIi chorublc Bmllo. IIopo springs otornnl In tho human broa&t. S.M I LE-A-WI 1 1 UK Dc-slrnblo Cha"ge. Low Thomas and Wilson . Kaufman havo been suffering Intoly from ulcerated teeth which makos u man quite savago. Doth tho boys aro now improving in health and disposition, much to tho gratification of their many frlonds. SMILE-A-'WHILE Hotel Not Paying Jack Cartor complains that tho banishment of nlsohol Is Working quite a hardship on tho Cartor House, and that it Is not paying any moro. Wo suggest that tho custom bo followed of making guests without baggago pay In ndvanco llko thoy dp In other good hotols. SMILE-A-WHILH 'Triumph of .Modern Methods. Dorsoy Kroltzor; "Why tbo way thoso fellows can stow a load, Is a wotidJr. They'll put in a cargo fivo tlmo ns big as an ordinary " Wnltor Dutlor: (Interrupting), "Oh keep still nnd lot mo foot this col umn; I'vo soon thoso ships loaded lots of times." Kroltzor: "Who said anything about Bhips? I'm talking about thoso 'Jitneys I havo to rido homo on." . . SMILE-A-WHILE An Original Idea. City Englnor Gldloy suggosts thnt. tho members of tho City Council could probably get somo Information nbout tho engineering work of tho city If they'd como right in his offlco. Whllo this' Is not tho way information is usually obtained, It strikes us as n remarkably common sonso Idea Tnud Its too bad somo of tho now commlttoo members couldn't havo beat Mr. Gldloy to it. Now, of pcourse, ho's had plenty of tlmo to hldo tho checkerboard nnd arrange tho offlco to look busy. S.M ILE-A-WII ILK AWFUL TOOTHACHE Wilson Kaufman, our artlstlck roal estato man, had an awful toothncho ono night this week. It was a Jumping tothacho from an ulcerated tooth and evory tlmo tho tooth Jumped so did Wilson nnd ho said ho thought to goodness his head would Jump off his shouldors. Ho couldn't sleep a wink and along about 1 a. m. ho got up and dressed and wont to Doc Toyo's, who ho woktV up nnd asked Doc to pull tho tooth outen his iicad as quick as he could get hold of It. Doc was nearly asleop and a good deal bewildored at ' that hour of tho morning, but ho got Wilson into n chair and rammed a forceps into his mouth and planting ono foot In Wilson's stummlck, leaned back and hauled until tho tooth finally came out, when to Wilson's disgust he found that Doc had pulled tho wrong tooth. Doc said if at first you don't succeed try, try again. So ho rammed the forceps back Into Wilson' mouth and took holt of tho tooth that was acklng and strained back and the forced slip ped offen tho tooth and Doc foil sprawling, striking his head a aw ful wollop on tho buroau. By this tlmo Wilson said he guess ed his toothache was bottor and that ho would return homo and go to bod, which ho dono in deep disgust. Wilson says betweon Doo pulling tho wrong tooth tho first time and tho forceps slipping off tho right tooth the second tlmo his mouth ackod bo bad. ho couldn't tell whether ho had a toothache or not. A DIAGNOSIS (Bob Stanley (Decldnto to A. L. H.) When you start tho day with snooz ing, Head is hot whllo body's freezing, Breath conies like an englno wheez ing That's La Grippe. When you feel llko you'ro forsaken, And nil tho troubles hnvo o'ortakon, Can't cat toast nor eggs nor.bn con That's La Grlppo. When you'ro mad becauso tho wcathor, Makes your head feel light as feather, And your skin as dry ns leather That's La Grippe. When you long to have your moth er Rub your chest with oils that smother, Comfort comes from nothing other That's La Grippe. Then you seek tho fam'ly hottlo, Only look lest you will topplo, New Year's plcdgo Is an 08toppol 01 You Grippal But thoro Is somo satisfaction, It has others near distraction, Who can find no great attraction In La Grlppo. SMlLE-A-WHILE . I PERSONAL MENTION. , OTTO SCHETTER,' tho Western Union wlro wizard has boon working In his garden tho past week. He soys his currents n iW doing poorly, but ho hopes to lm provo thorn soon. JOE BENNETT invited us into his collar tho other day and gavo us a dlpporful , of hard elder. It's flno cider If you 1now when you'vo had enough. Ono dlppor ful is egzlloratlng, but wo cnl culato that two dtpporsful would lncapacltato a person for work. FRANK COHAN dropped Into .nmsb Torroll's barber Bhop yestn'day and then droppod Into a chnlr. Al Glossop droppod a hot towel oil his faco nnd Frnnk hollorod: .'Why did you drop that hot towel on my faco?" "Becauso It was too hot, to hold In my hands," Al replied and wont on stropping his razor. SMI LI :-A-Wl 1 1 LE CENTRAL AVENUE SAYINGS . "Dad" Welch maintains that tho most useful nnlmnl nllvo U the chicken, bocniiBo you can oat htm beforo ho Is born and aftor ho lb dead. The ladies should cxorclso tho prlvllcgo which leap year gives them. On tho other hand Frnnk Lalso and Doc DIx should ?nvo somothlng say, flvo year's utnrt. If people trlod to bo as pollto nt homo ns thoy aro when thoy nro away from homo, somo of theso Coos Coun ty dlvorco lawyers would bo living on ono meal por day. OUR ETIQUETTE DEPARTMENT Is Is right for a girl to alt In a man's hip oven If sho Is 'n- soiled? Answer: Yes, If it wore ojr R?rl and our lap. Yes, again, If It woro somo othor follow's girl and our lap. But if it woro one girl and somo othor follow's lap no I SMILE-A-WHILE AMONG THE SHpiC Low Thomas is on tho sick list as usual. Al Noff is laid up with gonoral ability and has boon for somo time past. Wilson Kaufman Is laid up with an ulcerated tooth In his faco which Is so swelled up that it don't look llko Wilson's faco at nil, . UNDERSTAND When we toll yon wo dls penso SQUIRIl CHEMICALS ASH PHARMACEUTICALS 1u our Prescription Depart ment, WE MEAN IT. No spattering of them hero nnd there, hut a full stock of them, ho,that wo nro nblo to fill your physician's pro scriptions wltii thoso pure chemicals. And they aro liU greatest aid in combating sickness. Toll him you aro going to tako his prescrip tion to "The Owl" Tho Squibb Drug Store. PROCRASTINATION Thoy havo often cause for sorrow, ' They havo little tlmo for piny, Who forgot to do tomorrow What they havo put off today. It is nlwnys tho Coos Bay man with a bnd stomach who fears other peo plo eat too much. AW, GWAN " If your wife Is a suffragette," Remarked my friend Dlment; "I think thnt I can safoly bet You nro a suffragent." THE DIFFERENCE At eighteen knowledgo 1io would spurn, For ho know all thoro was to loam. At eighty ho remarked: "By Jlng! I find I don't know anything. Breakfast soldom attracts a fash- lonablo audlcnco and never ono thnt Ib enthusiastic. t Wnnt ndvertlsine; sells longer-wanted tilings. tho Fancy Greeting Cards and Oil Painted Local Views, Calendarschoice Myrtle Wood Novelties, Pictures, Photo Supplies, Framing and Enlarging, . and Kodak Finishing REHFELDS . Special Order Work a Specialty Phono 275-J. '-20 Central Avenuo For Good Sfl I. ii i i M CALL! OR TELEPHONE MY'oFFICE ml J 1 1 t' 11 I ) ' .! h. i i ii COKE ii i-1 1 l IK E. I. Chandler Representing Fireman's Fund Ins. Co. Queen Ins; Co. Orient Ins, Co. Imperial Ins. Co. Milwniikco .Mechanics Ins. Co. London & Lancashire Ins. Co, Atlas Ins. Co. - Yorkshire Ins. Co. Ill a? Yon a Savings IF YOU HAVEN'T, YOUR ROAD TO COMPETENCE AND SUC CESS WILL HE HARD START ONE WITH US TODAY x Avoid posslblo loss of money, inlxnps over receipts and other trou bles in meeting your monthly accounts by paying your bills by check. Como in nnd open a savings account and do business lit a business-llko way. The First National Bank?F.c0s0BAy B E PREPARED to show PROSPERITY A JOYOUS RECEPTION and CONTINUOUS WELCOMK. You can't entertain prosper ity, anybody, or enjoy life properly yourself unless you havo inusto in the home, SEE US HI ONCE. Thomas Muic Company Consolidation of Wiley U. Allen and W. R. Haines Music Stocks Oil Central Avenue. PLAN TO TAKE Sunday Dinner AJC THE Chandlleir Hotel A GOOD .MENU often regret for Let Us Serve You All the latest Papers and Magazines Fancy nnd Commercial Stationery Stationery Supplies Best Cigars, Tobacco and Supplies Tolepliono us nnd wo'U de liver promptly. Wo want your business and you want our goods nnd prompt ser vice. Marshfield News Company (Formerly Frlzcon's JARVIS H GARRIRLSON I CciUial Avenue, or course Insurance I THE Hi. i BUILDING, i I T London Underwriters Ins. Co. v. Phoenix' Assuriuico Co. iVetnn Life. Aetna Accident A Liability. London, .tt Lancashire Indem nity Co. Fidelity Deposit Co. Guardian Casualty it Guaran ty Co. Accout? The Eib of Central Avenue Rcpcutauco is our failures.