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About The Coos Bay times. (Marshfield, Or.) 1906-1957 | View Entire Issue (March 12, 1915)
, -, . h-'i'- '; -.v; j' mmm)m v THE COOS BAY TIMES, MARSHFIELD, OREGON, FRIDAY, MARCH 12, 1915 EVENING EDITION. THREE The Central Avenue Booster i f TTT IT Ml! i . CEXTHAL AVENUK, Kit I DA V, MAHCH 12, 11)1,-.. No. aa IHHa.'HIliBBHWBnlBHjaiibMlujH......., lHHP&&i' u ,J '" '. ' $BB JliiSiXiK ' -;i - JJBMrffiWWw nt.tgtt - "r 'ft l"9iiili,y"" - fy " &. & GIVE THE DOCTOR. help possible lu lc,,,(;s', l, t,l,H h' allowing im ;rM ( fill " ' proscription. "THE OWL" A 1MM3SCIU PTIOX PHAHMAOV R I). COH AX. TIII3 CKXTKAL AVEXUE WtUG STOUU ,tm VTUINP. FOTl DAIRYMEN JJ,VB', l '- - InkC a glnm-'O at OUT Wlliuuw umi muii t-Jinu mmuu unit lain tho United Stntea Cream Separator, which linn let "uriMBlrotcil b tho best on tho market any placo. ("I": just received tho-largest Hlilptnont'of utnbrolla covor Wat was over brotigh to Coos Hay. Tliey came direct 1111111 tho factory to us and you know what that menus In prlco "iMt "in""'10 liri,wnro' PJ"m,),nB or u'or' supply lino, wo , Jurnlih you tho best to bo bad. Marshfield Hardware Lo. THE CEXTHAL AVEXUE HOOSTEU Published Kveiy Friday In the Inter e.sts of Coos Day In General ami Central Avenue lu particular. Subscription Price. Your good will, and membership In tho Uooator Club OUU PLATFOUM. One Street, Ono Flag, Ono Country. .. ..and Ono Wlfo nt a time ouit heligiox. To Do Good. OUU POLITICS. Mmn Ttuulnnca Entered nt tho I'ostofflco ns strictly First-Class matter; thore is nothing aoconu-unss about Central Avenue. Phone 399 City Cleaners ACIIOSS FltOM CHAXDLEU HOTEL. WK Mil) .NOW HEADV TO DO First Class Sleam or Dry Cleaning. AXD PHESSIXG. PYTINO AXD LAWKS' AVODIC IS OUU SPECIALTY Club Pressing $2.00 per Month Whether You Come btMjJtoro and ninlco a caroful selection or Blmply PHONE your ORDER and leavo It to our Judgment, '" will bo satisfied. We take- ourselves mighty sorlously In tho grocery business. Wtknow that no success was ovor built without otomal caroful-iMS-and wo aro etcrnully caroful of your IntorestB. i That's shown la tho fact that wo spcclnllzo In Puro Food Products. Ibis Is a different kind of store Wo would llko you to know nore about It. Full lino of Fresh Fruits and Vegetables. Everything olitnln- iMe on tho San Francisco mnrkots. Ollivarat & Weaver PUIU3 FOOD GllOCKIlS. THV AX OUDKU OF IIIKXZ' MIXCE MEAT. Hone 100, Corner Central Avcniio and Third Street. WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED A Xew Fresh Lino of tlio famous HAAS BROS. GOODS COOK'S GROCERY Seo Our Windows. ROMPT OPULAR REGRESSIVE Phono 181). v P 1 OUU STAFF. Managing Editor. "Nationally Ad vertised" Frank D. Cohan. Musical Kdltor I,. J,. Tlionias. P.Tonocr Kdltor Geo. K. Cook. Children's Department- "Candv Kid" Stafford, Kdltor. Dairy Kdltor Ivy Condron. Financial Kdltor. Horsey Kroltzer. Garden Kdltor Kuy Olllvnnt. Hccrcatioii Kdltor J. T. llnrrignn. PITV TDK POOH KDITOU. II 13 hardest thing In tho world Is to try to ho funny when you feel grouchy. Til 13 HOOHTEH'S XKW PLATFOUM Jitney busses. Jitney shows. Jitney lunches. Jitney .shaves. Jitney shines, JItnoy tips. Jitney taxes. JItnoy church collections. Cleaning, Pressing and Dyeing Suits Pressed, one a week for $2 month. Cleaning 75c extra Jay Dovle's Place EM p... . . " .rai Avenue. Phono S50-X Til 13 Glltlj WITH A TKXDKH 1II3AUT Tho Latest Popular Song. W. J. Conrad, whoso duties havo mado him familiar with sawmills and such, submits tho following pa thetic llttio ballad, which was In spired by n dcslro to gain sym pathy for tho working girl. L. L. Thomas is busily engaged, compos ing soma music for It, but until tho now music is ready this may bo sung to tho air: "My Lovo Works in a Green House." Hero It Is: "A working girl was tolling In a sawmill on tho heath, Her Job was shoving saw logs Into tho buzz saw's whirling teeth, She sang wlillo at her labor, but through carelessness alio tripped And fell upon tho buzz saw, and sho feared slio would bo ripped. Slio quickly turned her funny bono Into tho buzz Raw's maw And busted ovory tooth that was upon that now buzz saw. ."Alas!" sho cried. "1'vo saved my life, but I am In disgraco, How can I faco tho foreman, when my elbow wrecked his plnco?" JuBt then tho foromnn entorcd, and ho said: "You've- broke our saw, And you will buy n now ono, or I will call upon tho law." Tho girl then wiped her wcoplng eyes, and, na sho stood at bay, Slio faced that cruol foreman, and theso words she then did say: Chorus. "I didn't moan to do It, but I had to savo my Hfo. I didn't know my funny bono would cause all this horo strife I II pay you for your buzz saw, so don't got so awful smart, My elbow may bo tough, but, sir, I have a tondor heart." SOME XAILEH. "Fred Weavor ' alwnys hits tho nail on tho head," remarked Frank Sumnor, v.iien discussing tho Droth orhood debates. "Yes, but usually ho drives It Into tho wrong placo," was tho comment of tho Knocker. CKXTIiAL AVKXU13 JOTTIXGS I Lovely Weather. Several Inches of beautiful spring foil on Central Avenuo this week, yet somo people would rather havo summer and tons of dirt blowing nround. Folks don't know when they're well off. Central Avenuo 1'nradovoH. Al Qlossop, who is somo wit, con tributes tho following: "Tho dumb man saw a wheel and spoke; tho deaf man saw a flock and herd; the blind man bought a piano (nt tho Marshfield Hardware, of course,) and saw." Crowd at Concert. Tho pop. con certs by tho Coos Hay Concert Hand aro so pop. that tho people wore unnblo to gain admission to tho Orpheum last Sunday and several hundred wore compelled to remain outside. Who snys this ain't a musical burg? Xot Xeutral. Harry McKeown says Dnvo Stafford can't claim ot bo ncutrnl any longer when ho re duces tho prlco on Turkish nougnt and holds up tho prlco of French bonbons. Doc. Morrow says that all cases of German measles must bo Interned. Tilings Aro Mvdy. With two pic ture shows ovory night, two churches Sunday und Sunday con concerts, and tho Smokchouso and tho Chandler Hotel, thore Is plenty going on all tho tlmo on Central Avenuo. Kcops us busy hopping around to this and that. A Story Hour. Jim Kellond, who Is always Introducing somo now stunt and who doesn't boliovo in permitting tho highbrows to mon opolize nil tho good things, noticed that they had a story hour nt tho library, so Jim has started "A Story Hour at tho Smokoliouso." The stunt Is now, not tho stories, Xew Club Organized. Tho pass word of tho "Can't Do It" Chapter 1, Is "Innoculnto Pessimism," "with tho accent on tho 'Noc,' Tho chap ter will hold a meeting In tho near future 'for tho purpose of soliciting contributions for tho building of n walling post on tho wntorfront. All wallers aro expected to give some thing moro than a howl. Gloves and Prosperity. "Twenty years ago," romnrkod a Hoostor In 'Tho Smokahouso' Inst evening. "I bought a $2 pair of kid gloves. My salary was $18 per month nnd bonrd. FIvo years later I found myself with a salary of ?fi0 a month, ono good wlfo nnd both of us to feed nnd clotho. I bought myself a pair of $1 gloves. FIvo years lator there wore two children, my salary was 1X a month nnd I found a C0-cont pnlr ot yarn mit tens nbout fitted my .enso. FIvo years lator I found that my sal ary had Increased to $100 a month, my family numbered thrco besides mysolf and wife, and a pnlr of 2G cent mittens covored my hands. This year I find myself 40 yoars old, drawing a salary ot $125 a month, four children, oria good old wlfo and, durn my skin, I avont down town and bought mo n pair of cotton flannel gloves 10 coats a pair, C pairs for CO cents." - IS THAT AMJ "How long did It tnko you to learn to run a motor car?" somo ono asked Dr. Dlx In tho lobby of tho Chandler tho othor evening. "Oh, throe or four," Doc replied. "Thrco or four weeks?" Jiuuiirod tlio questioner. "No. Motor cars." answered Doc, FACT. You won't bo able to dodgo strife, You won't succeed my son; When you lmvo a good aim lu Hfo And carry an empty gun. A. K. NI3FF. How about that new piano? We have a fine line of Instruments to select from. Terms can be arranged to suit your convenience. ' Wiley B. Alfera Co. L. L. THOMAS, Mgr. CENTRAL AVENUE. RUSSELL BLK. :t T Fire Auto E. I. CHANDLER. Insurance Accident Plate Glass Burglary fiOTv'TC RTTTT.TlTTO'a Prshfield rk,.nnr, Before Parting With Your Money IX IJUYIXG HEAIi KSTATI3 SKCUHE A COMPU3TK AUSTHAOT FHOM Tina Title Guarantee and Abstract Co. Which Is prepared to turn out First Class Work. This will savo you an uoyanco and expense afterwards, we also look after assessments and pay ment of taxes. ..,., Marshfield office In Coko Building opposite Cliandler Hotel. Phono 11-J. Coquillo Offlco adJolnlnK Farm ers' Hank Illock. Phone 101. Handon Office, McXalr Uulldlng. Phono -182. Henry Sengstacken Manager. ii His Own Fault Tho young man scorned great ly agitated not to say frighten ed as he approached tho father of tho "doarest girl on earth." "Sir, your daughter has prom ised to becomo my wife." Well, don't como to mo for sympathy; you might know something would happen to you, hanging around our houso five nights a weok." Now, if ho had spent a tow nights AT THE Smokehouse and enjoying a game of pocket billiards or basoball and a good cigar, tlio old man might havo been more congenial. Here's tho placo to meet your friends. PEHSOXATj mkxtiox. I A. 13. NM3FF says If llnrrignn doesn't hurry homo Sengstacken will cap ture tho wholu llrltlsh nrmy and eat St. Patrick's day dinner lu Paris. DAI, CATIICART says this reminds him of the spring of 1S72. Gcorgo Cook says It reminds him that taxes aro duo. What docs It remind you of? 131) M13ADI3 snys ns peoplo Is peo ple, Just ns pigs is pigs, but somo folks havo a trick ot rank ing you boliovo they havo some thing up their sleovo. DOC. TOY 13 says it is all right to t-'et up early In tho morning, but it Is nothing to brng nbout. Men who amount to nnythlng do not havo to got up enrly In tho morn ing. I)H. DIX snys that Mendelssohn wrote tho llnttlo Hymn ot tho llepublle nnd that they play It at ovory wedding. Thnyor Grimes nnd Conrad don't agreo with him. Do you? DAVE JONES is ono or tho most popular men on Front Btreet. Peo ple nro constantly calling on htm to pay their respects. LATElt Maybo thoy ' call to pay their dues. Ho Is clerk of tho wood men. MEL DUNCAN Is said to bo prac ticing In secret on a now play that ho expects to produco bo mo tlmo next year. It Is not gen erally known that Duncan was tho original Undo Tom In tho first "Undo Tom's Cabin." DOItSEY KUEITZ13U, a llttio wenlc and wan after a sovoro tusslo with rhoumntlsm is again seen on our street nnd Is wolcomed back by nil. Dorsoy says tho rheumatism mado his heart beat up to 80 and Jay Doylo, who negotiated a loan said ho did not think there was anything could movo a banker's heart thnt fast. CLAY CIIUUCIL has been nbsout from "Tho Owl" drug store this week ns n result ot trying to rido n cablo on a motorcycle Clny says when an Irreslstiblo forco moots an lmmovnblo object It cornea near being what Shor eman Bays war Is, and Frank Co han snya Its rather tough on tho General too, when tho first lieu tenant Is wounded. 1IOOST, DON'T KXOCK. HKTAIIiED GI.OUV "Mother wants flvo cents worth of glory divlno," remarked a llttio miss who tripped into tho Owl Drug Store last Saturday vlenn-up day. "Wo don't keep thnt," said Frank. "Oh, yes you do," tho llttio maid retorted. "Wo'vo got It bore be fore Mother puts In down tho drain In tho back yard." Then Mr. Cohan know that "glory divlno" was another wny ot saying chlorldo of llmo. (Boosters inn j- como nnd boosters may go ,but tho knockers nro with us always.) What's tho mnttor with tho peoplo, Havo In Marshfield of lato; I don't seo why thoy'ro knocking, It's tho best town lu tho state Wo havo the saw mills hero to back us, And somo good coal mines, you know, Now folks, Just start n-boostlng, And watch Coos County grow. Tako a trip Into tho country, Up Coos HIvor a mile or two; I nm sure that will convince you What Coob County soil will do. Just look nt our grand cltmnto, Can thoy bent It anywhoro? Thoy would havo to trnvol many a nillo To find ono hnlf so fair. Now lot ub got togothor, And boost for our homo town; And we'll havo tho grandest city For many miles around. Just tnko a trljl to 'Frisco; There aro no knockers thoro, Thoy always say that times are good, And keep boosting for tho fair. KAY OIXIVANT. SAVING Mother Is economizing On our daily dinner; Now thnt bread seoniB bout on rising She must sllco It thinner. That Is,' unless sho buyt Flour at Haines and then sho will savo so much on tho flour that she can cut tho samo flno big slices as before Flour, Feed and Hay HAINE'S Wuterfront :: :: :; Central Ave A POEM OF THE SKA;. The following wns contributed by Ivy Condron, who is thinking of challenging Cnpt. T, J. Macgcnn to a poetical contest, best two in throe. tho rain it poured, The sea It roared, Tho sky was draped in black. The old ship rolled, Sho pitched ami bowled, And lost her charted track. "Oh, dear, oh, dearl Sir, will It clear?" Loud walled a damo on deck. Ab thoy heaved the lead Tho captain said: "It always hns, by heck!" ! Candy Special TUUKISH NOUGAT AND PINOCIIE. Itogulnr DOc a pound, per pound, SATURDAY AND SUNDAY 4... 35c AT STAFFORD'S JUST HECKIVED, A LAUGE LOT OF XEW DESIGNS IX . . . Royal Society Package Outfits i GEXUIXE IMPOUTKD MADEUIA LUXCU SETS. VAHIEGATKD SILK FIXISIC C'HOOHET COTTON, i Many new and dainty tiling h nt (ho Miop Hint 1h different MARY ELIZABETH'S SHOP HUSSELL HUILDIXG "22 CEXTUAL AVENUE ED. MEADE Sells Pugsley's Candy at the KANDY NOOK Also Cigars and Tobacco Noble Theatre Central Avenue. PIONEER GROCERY CO. Phone 84 :: :: :: :: :: 81 Central Avenue Mai-Hhfleld Selling Agents CIiiiho Ai Sauliorn'N Seal llrand Coffoo tuid Canister Toiw. Wo havo just opened a couplo of fresh barrels of HKIXZ' PICKLES. Try them. This I8 tho tlmo ot yenr to cat MACKEHEL, Wo havo them ' 2 for 2Tic and 2Cc each for extra largo ones, A full lino of SEEDS, FEKTILIKEKH and POULTHY supplies on hand. Coos Bay Stationery Co. Oil CEXTHAL AVH.PHOXE I!I0 Sole Agents Carters Ideal Typewriter Ribbons and Carbon Papers. If it's Carters Ideal it's a good deal. The Monney Yom Deposit with us does not remain Idle lu Hie hank, hut It is used for tho, development of homo Industry. Most Individuals, firms und cor Iterations need to borrow money at times to carry on their busi ness, and it is largely your money that they borrow for this pur pose. Money deposited in hanks away from homo does this com munity no good. Therefore, it Is to your best interests to de posit your money vthero It will not only benefit you, hut will uld home industry also. Wo welcome all dcHisltors, largo or tJiuull, and lake hlncero Interest lu their welfare. Open a chocking or savings accounts In this hank. First National Eaek Of Coos Bay Central Avenue Marshfield, Oregon PLAN TO TAKE SUNDAY DINNER A' THE Charadller Hotel a Good Menu The Hub of Gentral Avenuo 1 aES, 'i'''v J44'HPIIP'JPTv' " V .!?! ' ! ZL '. irtfc.j IhL.BMrt " A 1 Ifc- uW.t .. s-i M .-h r. -iMlft, i & 10 fV. -?V ,i j- i j- i -it ntu i' 'vtt ', tftV-H - .t .-,?r2fl -ffi I A , KT' rf ' t - -, - II ' T K1M ." 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