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About The Coos Bay times. (Marshfield, Or.) 1906-1957 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 21, 1911)
I THE COOS BAY TIMES, MARSHFIELD, OREGON, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21, 1 911 EVENING EDITION. .,.. ! .,.,.. ...,.,., ,...,- I I-....I.I . --l- . , E 51 A Box of II IrW! IIMV H ; few GIFTS Would you like to choose Something Very Special for a Christmas present? Well, see the fine collection of Alaskan and Eskimo Ivory, Fur, and Souvenir goods at T. A. SALING, Taxidermist Cor. Alder and Front St. Mfld. McArthur's Pharmacy No Frills, Just the same courteous attention you have always received, Remember at McArthur's Euy Your Christmas Cigars At Frizeen's HOLIDAY GOODS POR ALL AT PRENTISS & CO.'S The Best Brand of Cigars The kind your husband, sweetheart or brother Smokes Every Day That's the kind we sell for .Christmas. If you come here you will get the every day kind. HILLYER'S CIGAR STAND, Cor. Front and Central Ave. Get that Box of Cigars or BOX OF CANDY from Storgard & Johnson 115 Front St., Marshfield A fANCY BOX Of CANDY Strikes lior fancy l03t of all when you nru going to got It JiiHt rotnomhor that you call Gub Cigar Store inn Front St. Multifield Don't Go Elsewhere for Your Christmas Cigars COMK IIKH'B, WK 1IAVK ALTi TIIK POIUIAIt IJKAXDS. TINS KIND UK SMOKKS KVKIIV I)AV. ASIC US BLANCO CIGAR STORE jtudies in Discontent Tlio Mlnviri'M'iitUIii of Mike. (By Jack O'Connor) InKSBNT tlio popular fnllnelen ox lHtant about tlio Irish charactor, not at all bccausu I nm an Irish man, but Just ns I would rosem nny ono RorloiiBly making tlio statement that tlio earth Ih Hat, or that the moon la mado of groon clicoso, or that King Ocorgo tlio Fifth Ih tho president of tho United States. Any ono of those utterances would bo rognrded ns silly, but It Is equally silly to stato that all Irishmen aro passionately fond of potatoes, or that most of thorn woar rod whls': ors and In moments of oxcltoment say "Uogorrnh!" Yet such harefau'd misrepresentation as theso aro In Bomo 80H80 amusing by reason of their very extravaganco, or Ignorance It Is tho misrepresentations of Irian character that nets mv hauilH Itchl"", for n shlllolnh, though I am not posi tively what a Hhlllolah Is, or how to spoil It, or what to do with it If I had It. Ono of tho hnblts nf tho IrUh which Is unfairly doalt with In this nnd otlior countries Is tlio trick of exaggeration In ordinary speech. TIiub an Irishman will toll you ho lias seen a trout ns largo as a whale, or that he has a boll on the back of his neck as big as n moiiutnlu. This Is only tho untural result of his sano and healthy objection to tho common place. He realizes Hint to convoy a vivid liniirefwlnn thoro la a ueod for vivid language, lie Ih a bollovor In the Importance of being earnest. An Englishman would mouauro tho trout with n pocket rule, because ho lackH tho Imagination to, compnro it with n wlmlo. Tho Jrlslimun will say, ' I linvo oaten a plo ns big as a church," nnd otlior Irishmen will uuderstaud that ho has eaten a very largo pie; tho Englishman,, nnd, I fear, somo Amoiienns, will proceod to nrguo that this Is an Impossibility slnco no pie was ever made ns big as tho mnMet church, and If It wero, no man ovor mado could possibly oat It For tho purpose of convoying dramatic offect this kind of exagger ation far exceeds lltoral exactnosa. "Whon I toll mv friends that I havo n boll on tho back of my neck threo fourths of an Inch In diameter o one will think vory much of It, but when I make the statement that thoro Is a boll on mv neok as big ns n Coos River hill they will at once Infer Hint It must bo the very devil of n boll. Wo do not long'" at t'io pools who sny a woman's neck Is llko Hint of a swan, or her eyes nro line stars, or her lips like a rose, yet any ono of thoso comparisons Is as gro tesque as the comparison of a plo to v "huroli or a boll to a Coos River hill. An nmnzlng hollef of tho presout day Is that England preceded Ireland In tho mattor of civilization. Tho nctunl fact Is that Ireland was tho center of Europenn lonrnlng when KngllBlimon woro painting their bo--lles with blood and roasting human bolngH at their rollglous oxorclsoa. Later, whon England began to wako up, mainly as tho result of tho teach ings of missionaries from Ireland, tho sons of tho English savages wero sont to Ireland to learn tho rudlmontH of villxntlon. Hut seo what happoned. Tho IrlBh romnlned satlsflod with their learning nnd rejected whnt may bo termod the savage arts, such aH war. Tho English enpturod Irolnnd by bruto forco nnd suporlor numbors and appropriated all tho possessions of tho Irish oxcopt their mother wit. This thoy loft her ns thoy had no nuo for It theuisolves. Then thoy argued somothluK nftor this fashion: "Wo , have conquored Iroland, which Is a highly civilized country, thoroforo wo jure highly civilized." It was H8 though I should knock a professor of tho Greek langungo on tho bond an I I then put an announcement In Tho , Times Hint I waB a qualified profes sor of Greek. Supposo a Mr. nrown .was engaged to bo married to Mtis I ones and I. bolng strongor that) : Drown, should meet him on Front street nnd knock him down: then, ac cording to tlo KngllHh stylo of rea soning, I should bocomo the logical -fiance of MIhh Jones. This, I admit, would be a vory sad thing for Mls Jones, but so was It a vory sad thing for Irolnnd whon England took pos sesion of hor by forco of nrms. Thoro Is u widespread delusion th t every Irishman la poetlcnl nnd sontl montal. I have never succeeded 'n detecting much sontlmont about n Dublin policeman or nn Irish politi cal boss. Tho fact Is that an Irlan mnn likes pootry much as many Irish men like potatoes, because both it those things nro good, nt lenst whon they nro woll dono. A sonuot Is a beautiful thing when It Is woll writ ton. A potnto Is a vory boautlful thing whon It Is well cooked. Iho whole thing resolves itself Into a question of good tnsto, and wo will all agroo thattaBto should bo exor cised whothor tho subject matter of It bo pootry or potatoes, or Mur- or Madrigals. Tho Irish "bull," which has been tho subject of English humor slnco Ho earliest times, Is nnothor exam ple of tho mnnnor In which tho Snxon utterly falls to comprehend tho Colt. Take tho story of tho Irish sailor ordered to go on deck nnd see If the llht in the forecastle was burning, Ho cnllod down tho hatchway, "Tho light's here, but It's out." Nothl-ig could be clearer than this. In splto of tho nppnront paradox. Tho Irish bull Is simply tho faculty of express lug n fact In tho clearest and most conclso manner, regardless of gram matical exactness. I menn no dlsre cnect to tho normal or high schools In comparing a "faculty" to a "bull." I feel certain timidity about writ ing of tho Irishman as a lovor, as I havo had no porsonnl oxporlonco In this lino, but nttcr all a mnn need not necossnrlly bo n confectioner to npprcclnto good candy, nnd wo do not oxpect Hint In order to become n suc cessful chiropodist I should havo corns on nil my toes. Thoroforo, por haps, I may alludo to nn absurd un truth which Is wldoly circulated about my unhappy countrymon. I alludo to tho fiction that nn Irishman lovos ns ho drinks, whntovor is clo sest to hand. Statistics easily provo tho falsity of this. Dlvorco Is rarer1 in Iroland than In any country In tho world. Tho Irishman tries to bo ngrcenblo to nil women, as to all mon. Ho duds that tho easiest way. Hut It doesn't follow that ho makes lovo to evtrv woman be meots. It would bo na sensible to say Hint hecauso a man Is respectful in nil churchos ho Is a bollovor In nil cieods, or that becnuso a man has travolod extensively ho Is a native of all tho countries through which ho hns passed. THE lMIlLOSOl'HV OF CIIKKIt GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD VNHP Hettrj nruiiiiuond sn,n. "I.ove I the greatest thing In the world " IVrlmp-. lie Ik right in the iitwtriict. Inn the greatest concrete thing I know l a CHILD ON CHRISTMAS MORNING givnteM because most Jo.wiuh, iiuhi no; enllng juul most lovable! To lie Mire that ,vou mid to thlx Joy, SHOP EARLY Then the glfis will go hi the little oiiiw. whatever Happens to you. Make sure of tse bappluess of at least nm blld. DO IT NOW. Do you think that you'r'o In trouble, nro you gloomy nnd foreboding, Hnvo you grlofs and tribulations, have you cares that arc cor roding? Is your brow becoming wrinkled, nr your chcoks becoming hollow With tho wear of your conviction Hint tho worst Is yet to fol low? Woll, I havo to do my duty, oven If I do offend you. And I vory glndly do It If It's llkoly I to amend you: You nro foolish. It's a silly, sonsolosH hnblt you nro getting Fretting. Will It help you? Thoro's tho ques tion. Dnos It makes your troublo llghtor? If you loso your sloop about It, does tho prospect grow much brighter? Doe3 tho brooding till you'ro yellow grontly holp tho situation? Will storn facta become leas stub born upon saddened contem plation? Stuff nnd nonsenso! It's Just child ish, nil this fussing and this cranking. If you had the proper treatment, It would bo n thorough spank ing. I havo got my own opinions nf tho Idiots that borrow Sorrow. I am blessed with soino possessions. ou migiit inmost can me wealthy. And I freely nindo ndmlsslon I'm In variably boalthy; I hnyo frlendr, a loving ro'pninte and sweet children, and I'm grate fill; Iliit If all woro lost tomorrow I would not bo menn nnd hntoful. I am sur- I'd boar It nobly, I would rise to tho occasion, I would gladly faco tho music, with no wenknoss or evasion , I'd not nurse a grief or pet It; 1 would smilingly dofy it Try It. Kennott llnnis. Try Tho 1 hues' Want Ads. KNOWLEDGE, I remember, I remember Tho flr trees, dark and lileh; I used to think their slender tOJlH Wcie clno npnlnst the sky: It was n childish Ignorance, nut now 'tl little Joy To know I'm farther off from heaven Than when I was n boy. Thomas Hood. MAKE that HOY HAIM'Y with a FOOTIIALIj or rUXCIIIXO bag. Tho 11lf'I.Utt . uv."Wrin. A Box of CIGARS Is a very acceptable Xmas present to any man Get it at Club Cigar Store 331 Front Street BUM wm FK ALL m DINNER GET YOUR CHRISTMAS TURKEY AT The Blanco Restaurant WHERE ONLY THE BEST IS SERVED. THE FINEST OF PERFUME Tho kind Hint your frlonds uaos tho year around Is tho kind that i sell ovory day. Como to this storo for your CHIHST3IAS I'ltKSEXT.S. The Ideal Pharmacy PRICES FOR- THIS WEEK HM'KATI.Vn AIU (Jl'NS JJ-JJi not) SHOT AIU GUNS !"? HUM) SUM' Allt (U'X -1 mri.'uai.'ii iwn.it! at f'OST . DOIili CO CAltTH "'4 K,h D 1JOWI.S " :.'- CAKU PIiATKS " "4 wi: savk you .ioxi:y. Coos Bay Cash Store o. x. iioir, aioit. HAimAY BARGAINS During Holiday week we will sell Potatoes for $1.25 per hundred. , ... ' UIIU VVU Will g'VU BI.UU VWUI III ui owUMi " $10,00 order of groceries and 50 cents worth of sugar, 1 .. !il ftK Aft ...I f Sr.r. iree wiui a cuuiuu orur ui iuuchud. THESE PRICES ARE ALL FOR CASH. ANONA CASH GROCERY HllOAIIWAV A.M l'. iii.wi ml,.tmwmttm Fr Christmas yuWV CAICB NotnscoodBrTBBT. TERtlum any other. soe tub porw Also lots of other good thiiicR. PLrn i1J- DING, PUMPKIS PIES and etc. Coos Bay Bakery ion THE PLACE FOR " GOODIES GET YOUR JOB PRINTING DONE AT THE TIMES' OFrl