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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (May 19, 1877)
4 t r- nn i ESTABLISHED FOR THE DISSEMINATION OF DEMOCRATIC PRINCIPLES, AND TO EARS AM HONEST LITIXC BT THE SWEAT OP OUR BROW WHOLE NO. 498. KUGENE CITY, OR., SATURDAY, MAY 19, 1877. $2.50 per year IN ADVANCE. in C TV GUARD, .? r ".r. .n' v '.t ? rrt.."-' '.. :rrga JLL 8fte (Suflftte City 1 Okard. jr. ju ALKXANDKK, W. H. ALRXAnDER, ALEXANDER BROS., Publishers and Proprietors. OFFICE In Underwood's Brick Building, ' over Grain's Jewelry Store. OUE ONLl BATES OF ADVEKTI31NG. ldvrti.ement inserted u follow. : hi. square, Iff line or let., one ituertion IS; each Hjequentlnurtionll. Cash required In advance Time advertisers will be charged at the following rate: On. sonars three month. 16 M " one year......,..,., U 00 Transient notice, in local column, St eenta per line " . -- sixiaonin....... w tor each Insertion. . JdrertUiow bill will be rendered quarterly. All fob wo' aiut be ajd roe a dklivkrv. POSTOFFICE. ,. Office Houra -From T a. m. to 7 p.m. Bundars from i:M to tin p. m. Mail arrive, from the aonth and leaves Ruins; north 10 a. m. An ire. from the north and leave, going rath at 1JJ p. m. For Siuulaw. Franklin and Umg Ijim, closest I a.m. oa we,lnw,iy. ror urawioru wills, (limn Greek and Brown.ville at I r.M. letter, will be rearly fordellrery half an hoar after rival of tram. Letter, .hould be lore at tne oma cue hour before mail, depart. ' ' A. 8. PATTERSON, P. M. SOCIETIES. ...tnn. V. 11 A V -nil A t .Meets first and third Welnesdajrs in earn month. U.tvm Htrrra TinnK No. ft I. O. r n U.m ThuI. unin. rmw . n i . .... . - - - ... , meet on the Id and 4th Wednesday, in each month. LON. CLEAVER, X 3E3 NTIST. jy OOMS OVER MRS. JACKSON'S Mil XV linery Store, WILLAMETTE STREET. . dental: DR. F. WEliSH HAS OPENED DENTAL ROOMS Permanently in tlie Underwood Brick, Eugene City, aud respectfully solicits a share of the Iiublic patronage. Refers by permission to J. i. Cardwell, Portland. A. IF. PATTERSON, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, U i ... ... .. Office oK Ninth Street, opposite the St. Charles Hotel, and at Heniideiice, .32 JOBNK CITY. OKKGON. DBS. NICKLIN & SHIELDS, HAVING ASSOCIATED IN THE prac tice of Medicine, offer their professional services to the citizens of Eugene City and the surrounding country. Special attention given to alt OUSTETKICAL CASES and UTER INE DISEASES entrusted to their care. Bills due when the service U rendered. Offices on Ninth street and at the residence of Dr. Nicklin on Willamette street, between Ninth and. Tenth streets. e2 DR. JOSEPH P. GILL CAN BE FOUND AT HIS OFFICE or res idence when not professionally engaged. Office at the POST OFFICE DRUG STORE. (Residence on Eighth street, opposite Presby terian Church. Chas. M. Horn, PRACTICAL GUNSMITH. .DEALER IN GUNS, RIFLES, r.nrl mntni-iula Rprctirintr done in Vthe neatest style, .and Warranted. Sewing Aiacmnes, nam, umu, etc. repaired. Guns loaned and ammunition furnished, Shop on Ninth street, opposite" Star Bakery. GEO. B. DORRIS, ATTORSEY AND COUNSELLOR AT l Office on Willamette street, Eugene City. TO Purchasing Agent, B. SAN FRANCISCO, LAKE. 1 CAL. JEWELRY ESTABLISMENT. J. S. LUCKEY, DEALER IN docks, ; Watcttev Chains, Jewelry, etc. Repairing Promptly Executed. fesTAll Work Warraoied.J) J. 8- LUCKKY, Ellsworth k Co.i brick, Wilhunette Street M and Stationery Store. -rna-r iwvirv nfTTT.nTVf: F-rRENE JL- City. I have on hand and am constantly receiving aa assortment of the Bert acnooi aim Miscellaneous Books, Stationery, Ularik Book, Portfolios, Cards, Wallets, Wanks. Port naes, etc, etc A. S. PATfERSON. OPPOSITION . IS THE IJIFE OF TRADE SLOAN BROTHERS Ttrn.T, DO WORX CHEAP EB than aay other If abopiatowa. , . H0R5ES SHOD I0B $1 50, KTrth mrw wsUrial, aD raasd. BeaetUnf abcee t Ceate. - . All wamalu ta arlva eatlalaetlaa. SHop oaElgttli it, ocposife Earn- pnreya oiaDie- VTEW STOCK Or HATS -The best jl and largest ever brought U Eocene, at FRIENDLY-S. A FOES WITH A flOUAL. The following line were written by David Barker for the New York Post about thirty yean ago, and are as admirable for their quaint ness as for the important lessons they conveyi I met a lion on my path (Twas on a dreary autumn night) Who gave me the alternative To either run or fight I dare not turn upon the track, I dare not think' to run away, For fear the lion at my track Would seize me as his prey. go summoning.a fearful air, Though all my soul was full of fright, I said unto the forest king, "I will not run, but fight!" We fought, and as the fates decreed, I conquered in the bloody fray; For soon the lion at my feet A lifeless carcass lay. f ' A little skunk was standing by Aud noted what the lion sioke; And when he saw the lion die, The lion's track he took. He used the lion's very sjieeuh, (And stretching to his utmost height) He gave me the alternative. To either run or fight. I saw he was prepared to fling Vile odors from his bushy tail, And knew those odors very soon , My nostrils would asNiiL So summoninii a humble air. ' Though all my soul was free from fright, 1 saw unto the dirty brute, "I'll run, but will not fight!" As years b'gin to coot my blood, I d rather all would doubt my spunk Than for a moment undertake To battle with a skunk. AN Altlt'SINU SCENE IS THE LOU. 141 IN A LECISLATIHE. From the Columbia litter to t lie Charleston (:$. C.) Neies wo clip the following : Mr. Orr, on behalf of the joint com mittee to whom had been referred the claims of the members of the late Mackey house, made the following report, which was adopted. The Uommittee on riiviloges and Elections and Judiciary, to whom were referred the clainiH at all per- otis alleged to nave neen eiecua, and who refused to appear and qual ity as member, and joined themselves to another body calling themselves a House of Representatives, etc., beg leave to report that they have duly and careltillv considered ti.esame, as lar as ttieir time has allowed, and ask tc make the following partial report: That thouch the conduct of the person referred to n the resolutions has been highly reprehensible, and in contempt ol the authority oi mis House, Ktill the Uommilieo Uesire, as far as uossiblc. to carry out the broad, juijt and liberal policy ot the Admin istration, and proscnoe no one, as lar as they can do'au consistently with tho dignity ol the House ot Kyiire sentntives and the majesty of the law. Wo beg leave to recommend as lol lows: -m That from Beanlort Messrs. Hast ings Oafrtt, Joseph Robinson, George A. Ried and T. E. Miller, on pre senting their credentials aud purging themselves at the bar of the llouse ol their contempt, have the oati,of of fice administered to them, and bp al lowed to tako their 8"ats as members. That from .Chester Messrs. Samuel Coleman and l'urvis Alexander be admitted on the same eruditions. That from Clarendon Messrs'. tiy fax Milton and Hampton lloslon be ad mitted on '.he same conditions. That from Georgetown Messrs. Charles S. Greca stud 1. K. Kinloch be admitted on the same condition. .That from Orangeburg Messrs. Sijadr'ack Morgan, Christian V. Cahl well an.'.Knis Forrest be admitted ou .1... nnm. .mill it lnlie' That from Richland Messrs. A. W. Curtis, C. &.MK.ort James Wells, R. J. Palmer and William, J,ow man be admitted on the same condi- inrtfi'"aiil That from Williamsbors. William V ; Scott, James F. I'e.terson and( John Ol Evans be admitted on tne same con ditious. J. L. Ouu, Robert Amirich. Hamilton moved that the members named in the report come forward, by counties, and after purging them selves oi their contempt, be sworn in. Thi? plan was adopted, and there fol lowed one ot the ricnesi scenes timv ver was Witnessed within the legis laiiva halls of South Carolina. The rebels, as they are fitly termed, ap-' peared to feel it all over, ana siooa before tlie Sneaker' desk like a par cel of disgraced school boys about to be lectured. To those who had seen these identical men last winter, inso-h-nt. overbearinir and loud mouthed, tl, vprv'inen who had with similar .nlntinns noured forth day and nio-'lit their foul abuse upon the l ad of the legal represent ailve. of the State, the scene to dav a immense, and one that never will bo forgotten. It Valmost incredible that the crying apologists who appeared to day, crav . . .. it...... ing pardon, are saino uii !-; tisans who, in Uecemoer im, mrisi ... lli lile ot tho Republic R auforl was first calle-l for, and Gamt, Roinson, Repd and Miller ramH lorward in a sort wriggling gil, with their credentials in their hands. ' The Sjwiker said: Vouhave beard the resolulions .adopted by Ihe House. What have yon to say for yourselves T Miller, who in the flush davs of Radicalism, was inclined to be very chatty, stepped to the front, and in very plaintive whisper, in marke cotitrast with his usual style of har anguing, said : ''What I have done I believe to bo right, but, I perfectly willing to recognizo you as the legal Speaker, aud this a the legal House of Representatives." A number of voices cried out, "Louder 1" and Mr, Sheppard said : "There is a condition precedent to Mr. Miller's admission, and that is that he shall purge him self of the contempt' of which he ao knowledges himself guilty, and I do not recognize in Ins remarks an ex pression of regret or ponitenco for his palpable violation of the law. Mil ier, in a half-frightened tone: "I ao cept tho proposition as laid down iu tlie resolutions, and consider this ao ceptance as purging my contempt." A voice from tho Democratic side in sisted (hat there should be ao 'admis sion of wrong and a request for par don. Miller, finding that he had to swallow the dose, blurted out that he knew he had done wrong, and craved pardon for what he had done. This was satisfactory and the House agreed to admit him. Miller then said that he would state, on behalf of his colleagues, that they made the same apologies as him self. A dozen voices cried out that they wanted to hear each man speak for himself. Ganlt came next, and, seeing the fate of Miller, was decided ly more docile. He said, ''I accept the propositions as laid down in the resolutions, aud I am willing to stand by them and apologize to the House lor my unlawful conduct." Reed came next, and said mat he Knew that he had erred, and asked pardon for whit he had done. Robinson fol- owed, and said he craved the pardon of the House for having erred, and ac cepted the propositions laid down in the resolutions. These four Mackey ites, who, it will be remombered, all voted for tho exptilsion of tho legal members last winter, then presented their credentials to the Clerk and were sworn in by the Speaker. Alexander and Coleman, ot Ches ter, were then called and came slouch- nslv forward, looking as it they would bo much relieved if they could put their finger in their nioutns. Alexander said: "1 am sorry lor the course I have taken, not understand- ng it thoroughly, being a ..new mem ber. 'I hope the House will pardon me." Coleman said: "I accept the proposition laid down in the resolu tions, and if I am in contempt of the gal House. I hope that 1 will be mrdoncd." Hamilton said : uIf you are in contempt ! Wc.dftn't want any such language as iMtf." Several voices : "Did tho member say 'if' he, was in contempt?" Colenat), docidctT ly bull dozed, "I:8y,.8f I am. in con tempt, I ask pardon." These two were then sworn in. Svfax Milton and Hamilton Boa-, ton, of .Clarendon, ame next. Mil ton said ' ho accepted the situation, and """ he has been laboring in con- . i , rpi... 1. tempi, asKea iorgiveness. i no eyelin er : "You have been adjudged to be in contempt, and must purge yourself ot that contempt." Milton : "I know I hate done wrong, and ask pardon. Uoston said, "I ak pardon lor what I have donc,rt but spoke very feebly. Hemphill, of Abbeville, said he couldn t near anyining, out uuw from tho way I'oston had rendere I "Hold the Fort" last winter he had a good pair of lungs, Roston repeated his apofly somewhat more distinct ly, and. he and hi colleag"uo were sworn in. Green and Kinloch, of Georgetown, next came tip, smiling. iviniocu sai "l'am sorry for the course I pursued, and a. it was my tirst term, I hopo the House will pardon ne." Green said: ."I ,was sure that the course I pursued .Wis right, and have since sceti that my course was wrong, and since that I is conclude to mvselt, and find out I i wrong in my cour.se I is pursued, and I hope do gentle men ol the Legal House will excuse mn." . rLaurhtcr.l These two wor thy representatives of Georgetown were then sworp id. e ' : Morgan Forrest and CahUell, cl Orangebijrg, were next called, and came forward lather doggedly. Mo- gan w'ldi "I " wry 'or everything 1 have done in violation of the Con slitution of this State." Orr "Do yoti ask-pardon of .this House V Mor gan "I. grant it. sir." Laughter. Scleral voice. "It appears aaifthie man is trying to avoid a recantation." Morgan I axes forgive npss,, sir." Caldwell mad.aclean bresst ot it. He.said : " Whet) I .was here before I knew, I wa,.hi i-ontempt; but the people of ny. county, kept me here, and I stayed to show them they were wrong,' and tltey know they were wrong now, and I crave forgiveness, sir. rorrest wa pumy. na sam : I am anrr. lor m violation of the1 .-. ,, . ir . fn.i,i,;..n i tlm Stat.." The Forrest "I always" axes forgiveness when I does wrong." Tho Speaker "Do you admit that you have done wrong If" Forrest "Ot course, if I is violate the Constitution, I has done wrong." Voices from the Democrat io side: "We don't propose to have this man shuttle round in this way; he must purge his contempt or leave!" Forrest (much moved) "I say I axes humblo pardon, sir." These thico from Orangeburg wero then sworn in. It will be observed that Straker, of. untngeuurg, was excluded, and I tin derstaiid Ins exclusion is on tho ground of his being an alien. Since the report was handed in. however. Straker has produced naturalization papers and. will be admitted. Curtis. Minort. Y ells. Palmer, and Lowman, of Richland, then came for waid. This is a high-lonod delcga tion, and tho necessary performance went very hard with some of them. Curtis said, "I am willing to bo guid ed by the conditions of tho resolu tions." Voices: "We want an apol ogy." Curtis "I don't think I liavt done wrong: but am willing to accept the terms of tho resolutions," Orr "Until he asks pardon for his contu macious conduct, I am n6t in favor of us being admitted." Curtis "I ask ardon, sir, of this House." A voice --"It don't eomo from his heart, and rnd ho ought to bo put out." Minort, wpo,, i tho leader ot one y ingot the Republican party of this couutv. showed better senso. than hi col- eaguo, and said, "I ask. pardon, sir. for my contempt ot 'this House." Wells said he thought tho, course he was pursuing was right, - but . had since tound out it was wrong, and asked pardon from the House tor his error, il'almer said, "I accept the proposition laid down in the resolu tions. I am sorry for the action taken by me, and I ask pardon of the louse. Lowman said he thought he was right, as he had legal advisers whr.i (directed Ins course, lie had on nd out hismistake and -craved forgiveness. These five wcro then sworn in. i Scott, Peterson and Evans, of Wil- iumsburg, came next. Scott thought he was light nt the time, but was sor ry for what he had said and done, and asked parden. Peterson said, "I heartily endorse J.I)o, action of the Committee, and axes ilia Jlouse to lorgive mo' lor my waywardness." Laughter. J Kvans said, " 1 his i ny hist term. I didn't know no. better. know I is dono wrong, and I- axes pinion, sir 1" Tiese three wereBWorn in, aud this closed the show for the lay. .-. TUB PHESIDKNTIAL SCAPEGOAT. The rampant, riproarious "stal wart" element of tho Black Republi can party which constitutes diiio- tenths of that combustible combina tion of concentrated fanaticism, is now mounted on it high horse, and swear ing at Haves worse than "our army swonim r landers, alt because the 'resident has done just exactly that Which ho was compelled to do by the inexorable ogio ot events. The louse of Representatives has a hand upon the purse, of National Treas ury, a:id the fiat had gone forth that not one dollar for the support ot the army should bo forthcoming without a proviso that would have compelled the President to have done sooner or aler what he has already ungracefully done. Nor could they get control of the llouse. A rule, passed when it was sauce for the goose,, which vir tually gives to tho clerk the organi zation ot the House, still stands, quite palatable sauce now for the gander. Hence there was no escape. Hence all these breathing of threatening and slaughter are in vain. They need not rail against Hayes, nor make him the scapegoat for their sins, for he is not to blame ; they need not rail against the people for theyaro in the right. The Black Republican party itself is the cause of all these untoward events. It has comported itself so outrageously as to compel the issuance ot it death warrant. And it ha been all in vain that it summoned to its support three, mill ion of necrro voles; it has been all in vain that it has unscrupulously used the Treasury end the army of the Government for it assistance, for the intelligence and consecration of tbe country have placed upon it the seal of their condemnation, and it must fall like Lucifer, never to rise again. Standml. It is just a well to recall the fact Ithal the saving of a million and a half gurpUi from the Centennial e pen sea is tlwrk of the Democrats iu Con gress. When tne hill making the L'rant was introduced, it contained no " j-.. . ' provision lur.-rrpajriut-ii. man Snrin :cr uropnsed the amend ment reiiirir2 the return of t money to tho Treasury in case tny was left, and ha wa promptly met ...k .i,i... u .t.n. I h. itint... amp -" ''" -:--- Springer's amendment was carried by Democratic votes, and the moiifV a Vithu saved to the people, remarks tbe iBostou Post. It hat HM Beeoa or Vhe N.ir When he itcnnbllratit Abandou II las. I Firm the Church Journal XT rv .... ... .kw uui.i;a.ns, April 4. we aro in Louisiana, surroundod with semi- heathenism, rapidly relaxing into total one. And this heathenism has been seized lor political purposes by mat vue development ot natural se lection, tho American "politician." it mid has Ueen insiduously taught to distrust and suspect any white influ enco upon it except it be political. l no standing problem in Louisiana, in South Carolina, and some other States, is tho nogro problem. Since emancipation, and tho committal of the negro to tho law of "supply and demand," "natural selection, and the "survival ol the hit est," the raco i.s sadly deteriorated. They have been arrayed bv politician! against the white people, and encouragod to con sider them their natural enemies, they are rapidly relaxing into bar barism, and are the class of criminals, petty thieves, house breakers and the rest, in our cities and country neigh borhood. Unless something bo dono for them and with them, they are doomod to extinction. The cirenm slaiidBi which have made llieui of in terest so far are temporary and po litical. T'-.c circumstances are rapid ly changing, indeed liavo almost passed away; and the outlook for the race thrown on tho forboaranoe and charities of the Southern people, af ter having been debauched and ren dered worthies by low politicians, is not very promising. More and moi-4 white labor is tak ing thk plaoo of the black. The planting class and all employing la bor.aio encouraging the incoming of white, men) naturally and properly, J too) and the negro, dropped by the politician when ho lias no further use for him, will be driven to the wall by tho mere laws of business and indus try. Tho race has some excellent qualities, but in "the struggle for ex istence" it must be crowded out by tho Anglo Saxon, who is never cry considerate to weaker races, except whoa he is far away from them. Hut here, for tho present, i tho negro, aud now n tho politicians aro about dropping him ns a factor in the mak ing of Presidentsrit will remain -to-be seen whether Christianity wilb take him up. I confess tor myself a -great interest in him. He is capable of creating strong attachments, he tin strong attachments himself. .l)iii.J connot help forebodings. Our treat ment of inferior races has been a blunder always; we have mercilessly eitturiiiinn.ted ihq. ludian, and for bearance for tho poor- fohiaius of his tribe is scarcely procurable. Our kindness is nearly as disas trous ns our qruelty. We insist on ft that all nations' nre cnnnbU of the samo conditions as our own. "In free ing the negro a we did, we did a good thing for his owner. We did an equally good thing for Miu.had he been an enterprising, ambitious Yan kee. But not being an enterprising or ambitious Yankee, but an indolent, ignorant,, and semi-civilized negro, we cast him Uso to "sink or swun,4uiv vivo or perish," in a social life where ignorance, laziness, a lack of sell as sertion and selt-contro'. stand no chance1 in tho competition for the means of lilb. He i his own minster, now, and ho must prosper according ly. But not content with thus turn ing him loose to live or die, wo en courago a tet of disreputable politi cians to alienate him, for the sake ot his vote, from the white men that must employ him, and li,ve with him, and help him if he is to bo helped, until he stand as alien and an enemy in the place of his birth. Theso last creatures, having got through with him, are now leaving him. "tor they shall gnawn file and flee into the mountain of Hepsidam, where the .lion roarclh and tlie whangdoodle snourneth for its first horn." Lol we have fallen upon evil limes, and the day of judgment is at hand. The Leavenworth Time, Colonel. .D. II Anthony's. paper he is a brolhtf of .Nisrfn Ji.'s wailctlt thus, in big black letters, over a re cent dispatch from Columbia: "Hamp ton has it A Bull -Dozer Sits in the Governor's Chair, While Chambcrlin Step Down and OuU-And (he White Liners .Shout With a iFicndish Do- light, For the Shotgun i has Cbn (i ue red Ihe Vote Red Murder RuJcs, Kampint: Ihe Uullet and Km re Succeed Where the BaMot has Failed South Carolina Lie Humbled ; She Si'.'lm iu the Dust; Her Sorrows by Million BewailcdT-Bht i on Know We Can't Help It; W -Wo. if We Could, But Then if ws Couldn't We Wouldn't As We Can't, Why We Won't; If 'The Times' Had the Sav. It Would See That the Whittf Liners Shouldn't." And then hs went out and hanged himself. 3(iss l'hel) Cozzins writes to a St. Louis paper to state that she doeon't want tl.e postoffice or any ether office. Having no hnsband to support, she is prooaoiy independent. GENERAL JTACKflO!!. General William 'O. Butler, one of the heroea of the war of 1812 and of the Mexican war, and Democratic: candidate for Vice President on the ticket with Goneral ' Cass, now live in Carrolton,; Kentucky. He said of General Jackson to a writer a short timo ago that he was littlo read.in books. "Indeed." said' tho 'General. "I do not remember seeing tiny botjko at his house but tho Bible and hymrV book, and probably Ja copy of Bun--yan' Tilgrim's Progress,' but ho was- an indefatigable readorbfncwspltpeTSi and was thoroughly posted in current events, end' ''especially in politics. While possessed of little technical learning' his 'common sonso was boundless, "ird'tlad an'" ihtiritivfy knowledge' of'nich,1 and an influcnCd' over them that was unlimited." 'My brother Tom (tho m.jor), who was an vid to tho General, had some words with him about a requisition lor arms.1 and a Coolness ensued. Somo time' alter tho battle a grand ball was given- the General, at which Mrs. Jackson, who had just reached the city, wa present. My brotlior wos 'there, of conrso, and suddenly encountered (ho General, with Mrs. Jackson leaning ' on hi arm. After salutations, tho' General remarked, in his rrrcsjstiblo ' way, 'Tom you are' still ma' IrtiflT.' Ihe latter shook Ins head as il nccaJ lively. Well, I think you are, and I' won't believe differently until you -kiss Mrs. Jackson,' which Tom gaU- anlly and promptly did in the- presr enco oftho'wliolc'nssemhly. I knew'1 Mrs. Jackson well, continued the' General, "and she was one of the best women I cter knew. Certainly a- kinder hearted creature never lived. Tho General Whs devoted to her. It was interesting to observe hiiu when sho was in company. His syes wero constantly upon her, and ho seemed to antioipato her every wish," He lounged up to-tho ofliuo couiv -tor, picked up a lonthpick.'and as he 'pried away at his molars be laid to the clerk: , "Must bo hard-JmnsrV t it? for a man to bo buried in a tranoe state?" "Ye'r," was the brief reply. "That's all I'm afraid of.''' contin ued the confidertttaritead beat.1 'Ptrv afraid I'll be buried butoro I'm really dead." ! r. ; "I trucss not." answered tho clerk. ''tho Jaw regulates thai." "Tne hvwMIown- . . ,.. "It prescribes that 'iho bodv. shall hang before being out down." '' 1 he man aottly laid the toothpick dowu on thd coimtor,' and went- over -to look at the files-of the daily papor. 'iji i . "' i. Hr Did Know Braxs. He sat alone in her lather's parlor, walling for the fair one's appearance the other eveqv ng, when mr" little" Wothcr ara cautiously into the room; and gliding ' up to the young man s side, held out a handful of something, and earnestly inn uired: "I say. mister, what s themr". "Those,'' replieiU'tliyoting man sol enfinlytskin orre up in his Angora, "those are beans." "There!" shouted thoi Uoy, turning to his sister, who !...; till. . You said he didn't know beans ; and ho does, too 1" Tho young man's slay was not what ycu may .call a pro longed one that evening. Out of every nine clerks in tho do- . partments at Washington four are , checked for dismissal, and that, too,'r. alter tho periodical "reductions of ' force" under the late dynasty. lf! citizens with a taste for arithmetic. would set down with a slato and pen-1 cil and cipher for a space, thev would ' discover .that, in the best civil service -on the planet, it has bt en customary -to employ two mon to do one man's work. Our radical Republican friends who ' are denouncing Hayes'' Administra- lion, can now see what a great mis- ' take they made when they joined in 1 the game of cheating Gov. Tilden out of tho Presidency. It must be gall--ing to them, after stealing tbe Presi dency for Hayes, to seo the "copper heads and "rebels stealing Hayes J from them ! Verily, "politics make strange bed fwl lows." Anolhel chicken is oomin? home to1' roost. The Radicals hooted at the idea that the certificate of the Gov -ernorof Oregon was conclusive. Now, in the Colorado election case Clerk Adams proposes to lake them at their word, nd "hoots" at tho idea that Bellord's certificate is conclusive, and they are foaming at the mouth about it. T I t The Pari Figaro announces that Mr. Hayes i " lineal deoendant of wa ft t" an. a a uooeri urucc. I ms makes the net of Robert's death all the easier to bear. No admirer' of tho Scottish hero- could wish 4iira the sorrow and mortification of knowing that any memberof his kingly lin would con sent to wield a stolen scepter.