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About Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937 | View Entire Issue (May 31, 1907)
10 THE MORXIXG OREGOXIAX, FRIDAY, MAT 31, 1907. , PCB8CRIPTION RATES. INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. By Mall.) I'atly, Sunday Included, on yar .M Dally, Sunday Included, alx months.... 4.25 tally. Sunday Included, three month.. 2.25 Dally, Sunday Included, one month, i.. .75 Pally, without Bund ay, one year 00 Pally, without Sunday, alx months.... 8.25 Pally, without Sunday, three monthe.. 1.T5 Pally, without Sunday, one month 60 Sunday, one year B0 Weekly, one year (Issued Thursday).... 1.50 Sunday and Weekly, one year 8.50 ' BY' CARRIER. V Pally, Sunday Included, one year 8.00 Pally, Sunday Included, one month 75 HOW TO REMIT Send postofflce money rrder, express order or personal check on your local bank. Stamps, coin or currency are at the sender's risk. Give postofflce ad dress In full. Including county and state. POSTAGE KATES. ' Entered at Portland, Oregon. Postofflce as Second-Class Matter. 10 to 14 Pages : .1 cent 18 to 2S Pages 2 cents 80 to 44 Pages 8 cents 46 to 60 Pages 4 cents Forelsn postage, double rates. IMPORTANT The postal laws are strict. Newspapers on which postage Is not fully prepaid are not forwarded to destination. EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE. The S. C. Beckwlth, Special Agency New York, rooms 48-i0 Tribune building. Chi cago, rooms 510-512 Tribune building. KEPT ON SALE Chicago Auditorium Annex, Postofflce News Co.. 178 Pearborn st. St. Paul, Minn. N. St. Marie, Commercial Station. ' Denver Hamilton Hendrlck, 90-lS Seventeenth street; Pratt iiook Store, 1214 Fifteenth street; H. P. Hansen, S. Rice. Kansas City, Mo Rlcksecker Cigar Co Ninth and Walnut; Sosland News Co. Minneapolis M. J. Cavanaugh, 50 South Third; Eagle News Co.. corner Tenth and Eleventh; Yoma News Co. Cleveland, O. James Pushaw, 307 Su perior street. Washington, D. C Ebbltt House, Penn sylvania, avenue. Philadelphia, Ta- Ryan's Theater Ticket office; Komble, A. P., 3735 Lancaster ave nue; Fenn News Co. New York City U Jones Co.. Astor House: Broadway Theater News Stand. Buffalo, N. Y.- -Walter Freer. Oakland, Cal. W. H. Johnson. Fourteenth and Franklin streets; N. Wheatley; Oak land News Stand; Hale News Co. Ogden D. P. Boyle, W. O. Kind. 114 Twenty-fifth street. Omaha Barkalow Bros., Union 8tation; Mugeath Stationery So. Sacramento, Cal. Sacramento News Co., 43 K street: Amos News Co. Salt take Moon Book & Stationery Co.; RoaenAeld A Hansen. Ixs Angeles B. E. Amos, manager seven atreet wagons. has Diego B. E. Amos. Pong Beach, Cal. B. E. Amos. Pasadena, Cal. A. F. Horning. Hants Barbara. Cal. John PrecheL ban Jose, Cal St. James Hotel News Stand. Fort Worth, Tex. F. Robinson. San Francisco Foster A orear; Ferry News Stand: Hotel St. Francis News Stand; I.. Parent; N. Wheatley; Falrmount Hotel News Stand; Amos News Co. Goldfteld, Nev. Louie Pollln. Eureka, Cal. Call-Chronicle Agency. Norfolk, Va Jamestown Exposition News Eland; Potts Roeder; Schneider A Kaiser. Pine Beach, Vs. W. A. Cosgrove. PORTLAND. FRIDAY, MAY 81. 107. !J1R. ROOSEVELT AT INDIANAPOLIS. ; Except for some Introductory compli ments to the soldiers and statesmen of the Civil War, the President's Memorial day speech at Indianapolis deals with the railroad question, and nothing else. ;It is pleasant to note, in passing, his ept tribute to Governor Oliver P. Mor ton, of Indiana, whose great services (to his country are not so well remem bered by this generation as they should .be. The copperhead element was very strong in Indiana.' Their organization, known as "Knights of the Golden Cir 'rir." paralyzed the state government for a time and controlled the Legisla ture. Still, Governor Morton managed, .by pledging his personal credit, to sup ply his full quota of troops to the ar mies of the Union and was one of Lin coln's most constant allies and valued advisers. '. Turning to tho railroad question, the President remarks that there can be "no swerving from the course that has been marked out" in his messages and in the laws enacted' during the last six years. "There will be no halt in the forward movement toward a full devel opment of this policy." 'He asserts that .every suit undertaken against the law less corporations has "been a suit not merely warranted but required by the facts," while "every law dealing with corporations or railroads that has been put upon the statute-books during the last six years has been a step in the right direction." He slates boldly that these laws and the suits that have been brought under them are in the Interest !'of the people, of the stockholders and of property in general; because such a course, being manifestly Just and truly .conservative, fends off destructive radi calism while it secures the rights of all. Therefore the Government will not relax its effort "to get at any great -railroad-wrecker." like Mr. Harrlman. for example, "who by clover swindling 'devices robs investors, oppresses wage workers and does injustice to the gen eral public" The President's mind is so well made up on this point that he re turns to it again and again in the course of the speech. "Wherever evil-doers can be, they shall be brought to justice; and 'no criminal, high or low, whom we can reach, will receive immunity." And again later on. "There will not be the slightest let-up in the effort to hunt down and punish every dishonest man." Mr. Roosevelt does not believe that this course will harm honest business Jn the least degree. On the contrary, he asserts that the enforcement of open and just management of the railroads Is the only sure foundation for their lasting prosperity, and in this every man of sound sense will agree with him. The disclosure of railroad mis management and corruption may have lessened the value of some securities, "but those who complain should put the blame where it belongs upon the misdeeds which are done in darkness and not upon the investigations which brought them to light. The Adminis tration is responsible for turning on the light, but not for what the light showed." It is better, is it not, to fer ret out the evils and deal with them while they are remediable than to wait until the only possible remedy is revo lution? The President expressly repudiates all desire for National construction or op eration of railroads, but he believes that the Federal Government must have . "full power of supervision and control over the railways doing an interstate business." In his opinion "the move ment to regulate railways by law has coma to stay. The people of this coun try have made up their minds to exer cise a closer control over all kinds of public-service corporations." He advo cates rules to prevent over-capitalization, and asks for valuation of their physical properties, supervision of rates, publicity of accounts and wholesome regulation of the time and pay of work men. In his remarks upon the valua tion of the railroads Mr. Roosevelt does not make himself entirely clear to the eader. It Is impossible to discern IromJ his, speech just why he would have it done. The value of the road, he says, "is no sufficient measurement of a rate," and he seems to hold that It is only one element to be considered, while the "earning power, franchises, original cost." are equally important-. To make the capitalized franchises of a corporation the measure of its rates is all wrong. This Is the principle which Master Masten adopted in his report upon the gas rate In New Tork. It forces the public to pay interest upon the fraction of sovereignty w-hich It has delegated to the corporation. The value of the franchise, whatever it may be, belongs to the public. The concession of its use to a corporation is a favor, and a very great one. To compel the public to pay . Interest upon its own property Is nothing short of monstrous. Again, to make the earning power of a railroad the basis for rates is to reason in a circle, because the earning power depends upon the rates. The admission of this principle would forever prevent all reduction ' of rates. Below the standard which they had once reached, no matter how unjustly, they could never fall. It Is equally absurd to make the original cost of a road the meas ure of rates. Nobody would dream of applying such a rule in any; other busi ness. The original cost taay involve fraud, extravagance, theft. By gifts of public land or by bonuses from individ uals and towns the original cost may have been reduced to nothing so far as the owners are concerned. Hence if they are permitted to charge a high rate where the Investment is extrava gant, they ought to charge none at all where there was no investment. In treating of over-capitalization Mr. Roosevelt makes' another ourloys slip in his logic. He says that the water in some stock has "become an important part of the National wealth." If water-. Ing stock can create wealth, why stop it? The fact is, of course, that "water" never did and never can create wealth. It simply transfers wealth from those who create it to the juggler who Issues the fictitious stock. TX RNCOAT ORACLES. Behold worthy oracles of the people, four years ago throwing up their hands in horror at the thought of alter ing the hew charter, now boosting changes. Sixteen amendments are of fered to that supposedly Inviolate in strument. Mr. J. N. Teal, Mr. A. L. Mills, Mr. C. E. S. Wood and patriots of their rank breathed Are and destruc tion on all who then denied that the charter was the final essence of polit ical wisdom, enduring as the laws of the Medes and Persians. Already, even they are boosting amendments. So much for the sanctity of 426 sections of city law, framed for the aggran dizement of "special interests," fran chise buccaneers and "first families." Very cleverly disguised was the effort four years ago to have the charter en acted by the Legislature without change of letter or word, after framed by the Charter Board (chiefly Teal and Mills). The sanctified charter might then have been altered so as to allow the people complete control of public utilities and franchises and rates of service. All this was carefully prevent ed. .-It was quite important that the charter be not touched by unhallowed hands, lest it be "sf)lit wide open" and the fruits thereof lost. That was the idea of the "first families," and they set their newspaper organ to harass members of the Legislature who would not promise to keep hands off. But now, when these "interests" are to be served by amendment, they turn about and boost for it. More than J5.000.000 bonds are to be sold for their traffic. The people will pay them 4 per cent Interest til! kingdom come. And while the people will get benefits, per haps, they are loading themselves up with debt for the profit of the special interests and first families. One of the new debts will be 11,000,000 for boule vards and parks, for the use of rich men's automobiles, operated by 4 per cent Interest paid by the public. There is change of heart, indeed. - The buccaneers have got all that's coming to them out of the charter, and now are willing to have it changed so that they can get some more. Boost the amend ments, gentlemen. And on the other side, you hewers of wood and drawers of water, behold what has changed the gentlemen from fighting charter changes to boosting them. PORTLAND'S COMMERCIAL SUPREMACY. With more than a month's business still to be recorded, the receipts at the Portland Custom-House have already passed the million-dollar mark, and enough business is in sight for the re mainder of the fiscal year' to make it certain that all previous records -will be broken by more than 300,000. These figures speak eloquently of the commer cial position held by Portland In the Pacific Northwest. The imports and exports handled at this port, with the exception of a very small percentage of "in transit" freight, all represent busi ness actually transacted by the mer chants of this city. Instead of passing from ship to car or from car to ship, the freight at Portland is received and warehoused to be distributed as it is needed throughout the Pacific North west. This system is the same as has been followed here since Portland first be came the commercial and financial me tropolis of the Pacific Northwest. .It is not at all disparaging to the other ports which have sprung up In this ter ritory that they have not succeeded In distancing this city, for there is no other port in the entire Northwest so admirably situated for serving the largest and richest portion of the terri tory from which all North Pacific traffic Is drained. While the figures for the fiscal year ending June 30 are far in excess of those for any corresponding period, it is now a certainty that they will be exceeded in the coming year. Full returns on the other ports In the Northwest are not at hand, but the offi cial figures for the first four months of 1907 make an Interesting showing as to. the relative .importance of the ports. For these months the receipts at the Portland Custom-House reached a total of J419.171.88, compared with J371.943.ll at Seattle and J103.319.04 at Tacoma and 1517,255.26 for Seattle, Tacoma, Everett. Port Townsend, Bellingham, Blaine, Port Angeles, Anacortes and eight other Washington ports. In other words, Portland's customs receipts for the first four months of 1907 were J52.771 greater than those of Seattle for the same period, and were four times as large as those of Tacoma, and were less than 20 per cent smaller than the combined receipts of eighteen Washington ports. Census figures based on directory es timates may be misleading, and even the figures compiled by the Govern ment on population of cities are not always accurate. But the twentieth century-buBineBa man doea not walk up to the Custom-House and pay duties on any greater amount of merchandise than he receives.' Neither does he buy postage stamps except for use In his business. With Portland's postofflce receipts exceeding thdse of any other city in the Pacific Northwest, and her Custom-House receipts averaging near ly J500 per day greater than those of her nearest competitor, it is not diffi cult to determine which Is' the greatest ctly in the Pacific Northwest. WTLD ANIMAL LITERATURE. It is to be hoped that the impetuosity Of our beloved President and the ver bosity of Dr. Long will not carry the matter to a point where their great controversy will come within the sphere of The Hague tribunal. That peace seeking organization is already fairly well provided with work, and the possi bilities of a deadlock on the subject un der discussion are great indeed. In no other pastime or calling on earth is there so much liability of a discrepancy in statements as among the sportsmen with ' rod and gun. The bear that chases a man up a tree or into camp is always enormously larger than the one that is brought In dead, and we are all familiar with the Immense size of the fish that got away. The sportsman who wanders through the trackless woods cannot fail to be come imbued with the spirit of "bigness" that is so lacking in the environment' of a city, and it is possible that this feel ing works Into the stories which he tells after he gets back into cramped quar ters again. It seems to be quite plain that the bears, wolves and other "var mints" encountered by President Roose velt were of a different strain of blood from those which met Dr. Long. At least this Is the charitable way to look at the matter. On the other hand, these intelligent animals, on which Dr. Long has exerclsPd his mind-reading powers, are vastly different from those which made the acquaintance of Ernest Seton Thompson, or Seton Thompson Ernest, or Thompson Ernest Seton. He has not yet announced his 1907 style of wearing his name. With the kaleidoscopic changes which are constantly being made in all branches of literature as well as indus try, why should the art of telling ani mal stories still linger in the same old rut? Imagine a twentieth-century ani mal story-teller attempting to palm off on his juvenile hearers such a tale as old Homer, wirh his lyre, used to sing to the ancient Greeks about that saga cious horse that stood so long without hitching Just outside the gates of Troy. Even that story of more recent date regarding Daniel and the lions Is now generally used with a Mary G. Baker Eddy interpretation, and as for Pe gasus, almost any schoolboy in the pri mary grades will tell you that, like Dr. Long's moose-killing wolves, "there was no such critter." Unfortunately for both of the con testants in this case, there is but little in the history of animal life or lore that can prove or disprove all of the stories that are- now in -circulation. "It's so," says the man In the down East play. "It's so, and I could prove it If old Bill Jones was alive." In the case of many of these animal story controversies "old Bill Jones" has been dead a good many years. SENSE AND NONSENSE. A story which comes from Virginia provokes reflection and comment. It is a tale of a child nine days old which performed the feat of speaking English "with perfect articulation," and then died. The words spoken were the names of some of its near relations, and particularly "heaven." The inci dent is Inherently Incredible and cannot be believed except upon better evidence than the report supplies: still. It may be true. An abnormally precocious devel opment of the vocal organs Is not by any means impossible. There are cases on record of premature activity of other parts of the body no less marvelous. But whether the story is true or not is of small consequence. The interest ing feature of the account is the effect of the marvel upon the family and neighbors of the child. They evidently believed it to be true and took it for the miraculous sign of some Impending ca lamity, perhaps the end of the. world. According to the account, "they live in fear and trembling," and great excite ment prevails in the community. Prob ably they are Ignorant people; certainly they are foolish; but the chances are that one could find some fools of the same sort in every village In the coun try. There are plenty of people who are continually upon the watch for mira cles. The plain, ordinary sequence of cause and effect does not satisfy them. They have a ravenous appetite for the occult, and, when nothing of the sort actually occurs they seek for it from astrologers, mediums and cheiroman cers. One of the best measures of a person's civilization is his feeling toward events of this kind. If he seeks to explain them by known laws and admits that the apparent mystery Is due to his own lack of information, we call him an en lightened man. If he interprets them as portents,- something supernatural, significant of impending woe, we say that he has only half emerged from savagery. The rational mind sees won der in everything, magic in nothing. A DAY AND ITS MISSSIONf. Memorial day is observed each year, not only without abatement of the exer cises and observances that have grown out of the Idea which its name signifies, but with increasing demonstration of its beauty and tenderness. It is not, of course, to all who participate in its ceremonies a day of mourning, or even of regret; nor does patriotism combine with gratitude to dedicate the day ex clusively to the soldiers of the Nation who have answered the last bugle call. It comes instead close to the heart of humanity in the home. It is tender with recollections of those who have gone out to return no more, whether at the country's call or the call of Nature for the accounting that she in time ex acts of all. It is thus that the day, with its associations, touches graciously the heart and experience, of mankind. There are those, and their name is multitude, who approach the day In holiday spirit, making, each for himself or herself, a new interpretation of the name that attaches to it. To these it is a day dedicated to pleasure in the vari ous forms that men pursue under that name. To some this interpretation Is rest; to others recreation; to yet others It means visiting and feasting; and to all it is a day of idleness, sanctioned by law and approved by custom. Why should the old soldier, whose memory runs back to the incidents of a war in which he was a factor, feel aggrieved at the man to whom this struggle is a mere matter of history because the lat ter does not turn his steps toward the cemetery; on that dayt but who prefers, instead, to lend his ear to the sound of mirth and his presence to a scene of revelry? The world is wide. The echoes of far-off battlefields cannot reach every one. nor is It desirable that they should. The minds of men differ con cerning many things of weightier im port than the manner of observing any single day in the year can ever be. An appellate court In Texas has held that in a damage suit for injury on a railroad the defense should be allowed to show that the plaintiff, is a Christian Scientist, for "if the plaintiff had such control of her feelings, or thought she had, as to render her insensible to pain, when she willed to be, that circum stance should have been considered by the jury in determining the extent of her suffering." Then if railroad com panies are to be less liable to Christian Scientists than to others, they should make special reduced rates in their be half. And upon the same view of the responsibilities of a railroad, it will be permissible to show in defense that the train crew carried a good supply of opiates which the injured passengers would take, if they chose, to lessen their suffering. The more morphine a victim takes the less he will suffer and the less will be the amount of damages to which he will be entitled. And if he refuses drugs which will deaden the sense of pain, this may be shown in mitigation of damages. The liability of a railroad depends no more upon its negligence and the extent of the injury than upon the circumstances which en able the victim to resort to remedies for relief. To bruise and cut a passen ger in a wreck near a hospital is less costly than to do the same things twenty miles away. At least this seems to be the law In Texas. The president of the Wisconsin Bar Association suggests that "rotten bor oughs" like Delaware and Rhode Island should be annexed to other states. But what' states would submit to the imposition? If Wisconsin were adjacent to Rhode Island, would that state consent to a consolidation? To annex Delaware to the adjacent State of Pennsylvania might not toe so dis proportionate from the standpoint of political morals, but it would create a state disproportionate geographically. The best solution is for Delaware and Rhode Island to annex Heney and Burns, who will reform some of their honored citizens and make the two states fairly respectable. Herr Muhlberg, Under-Secretary of State, representing the German govern ment, in a speech at Berlin Wednesday denied that Germany 'is threatening the peace of the world. He asserted that the German army and navy were never misused, and that Germany is only striving for honest competition in the world's markets everywhere, but "whether in Asia or Africa, we have only .one aim the open door." There might be less talk of the German men ace to peace, if after once getting through some of these "open doors" Germany would refrain from slamming them In the face of other nations that were a little slower in their move ments. Heppner has to date this season shipped more "than 80,000 sheep and 2,500,000 pounds of wool. During the same period several thousand head of cattle have been shipped and about 200,000 bushels of wheat were marketed at that point during the season now drawing to a close. This showing for one of our interior cities, and especially one that was practically wiped out of existence only a few years ago. Is a remarkable one, and Is additional testi mony that Oregon is the greatest state In the union. The fifteen city lawgivers in the City Hall have fixed things up so that the people next Monday will vote them In crease of pay from $25 a month each, or $300 a year, or $4500 a year for the whole pack, to J100 a month each, or J18.000 a year for the bunch. Judged by the high opinion the pack has of the value of its services, J18.000 a year is a trifle. That sum Indeed Is small com pared with a J2O0.O0O.0O0 tax assessment or with other big heaps of money In various places. The feverish haste displayed by the landseekers to get hold of a piece of the Southern Pacific grant is certainly a high tribute to the value of the tim ber. If the railroad officials are justi fied In the complacency with which they regard this rush, they will undoubtedly mark values up as soon as the question of ownership is settled. A Roanoke, Va., dispatch tells of a nine-days-old Infant which had been "talking perfect English." This Is in deed a miracle. A Virginian of any age who can talk "perfect" English must be lonesome. Perhaps that was why the nine-daye-old infant passed on to a better world after tarrying but a fort night in Virginia. A glimpse of the same old flag In the hands of veterans, young and. old, serves to dispel any pessimism engen dered by thoughts of a war with Japan. This Nation has fighting blood in its veins and sacrifices in its wars were not made in vain. They who fear that railroad retrench ment -will hurt the country should take heart. The Northern Pacific has 1nst bought 100,000 tons of steel rails. James J. Hill hasn t lost confidence In the nro- ducing capacity of the great Northwest. John Barrett may be right In his guess that the Democratic ticket In 1908 win be Bryan and Chamberlain. It may not be thought worth while to bother about the few electoral votes east of the Mississippi River. Announcement comes that the South ern Pacific will not pay damages to passengers who were in a recent wreck. Have all the California courts been "fixed"? Once more we are face to face with the important, universal question. Will strawberries get down to 5 cents a box, or maybe six for a quarter? Tenacity of wheat to the dollar mark makes Oregon accept with resignation a week's weather conducive to big yields of cereal. . McCredie's men may with profit emu late the esprit de corps of the West Side High School team. What? Two city elections, three days' fiesta and the Fourth of July all in a bunch? Professor Trlggs seems to be even worse than he was painted. ." REAPING A GREAT WHIRLWIND. Hearst's Responsibility for the San Francisco Situation. . Colliers. San Francisco sowed the wind, and the fates helped her to reap the whirl wind. That administration which Hearst and Ruef put on her shoulders in her careless years has become an Old Man of the Sea in this time of toil. No one who knows her politics doubts that the pres ent series of strikes is due to Ruef, Bchmltz and their associates. Cornered and desperate, they are trying to black mail justice by tying up the city's In dustries one after another. ' Never was industrial hardship so difficult for a city, but she prepared" her own trouble. In 1901 she permitted one Pierce, labor agi tator, and one Hearst, editor, to stir up such a row. between capitalist and the laborer as few American communities ever saw. Ruef, the man of the hour, discovered how to turn all this to his own advantage, and the city was harpy rldden when Heaven sent her great calamity. Hearst has never received his due credit "for things in San Francisco. When J. D. Pierce, professional labor agitator, struch San Francisco In 1901, the city had a reputation for . Industrial harmony. There had never been a serious local strike. Pierce, backed by Hearst, and as sisted by one Father Yorke, changed all that. The San Francisco laboring men embraced the ultraunlon propaganda with the zeal of new converts. By the Summer of that year the whole San. Francisco waterfront was on strike, and the wharf rats and wharf floaters were breaking with Iron bars the wrists of scab teamsters. Hearst stood behind this policy covertly and sometimes openly. His newspaper, the "Examiner," printed Hearstian statistics to prove that there was no violence along the waterfront; later It backed a union-labor campaign in which the candidates pledged them selves from the platform not to give po lice protection In another strike. With out Hearst there would have been no Ruef, no Schmitz, and no Job in Califor nia for Heney. Later, much later, Hearst's California political managers fell out with the union-labor administra tion. The "Examiner" at that time ran a philippic to which Hearst Is now point ing with pride, declaring that he first discovered the blackness of Ruefs heart. EST TOl'R WITH GENERAL KIROKI. Railroad Man Tells of the Japanese War Hero', Personality. Washington (D. C.) Herald. Thomas R. Wilt, the Chicago passen ger agent of the Pennsylvania Railroad, who brought the Kuroki-MacArthur par ty through from the Windy City - to Washington, Is full of interesting experi ences he has had the past decade or so personally escorting distinguished guests of the United States, he having traveled with Prince Henry of Prussia, as well as many of lesser note. "I found General Kuroki as interesting as the most interesting," said Mr. Wilt. "He Is a most attractive, unassuming, and thoroughly democratic personage bold in battle but modest in civil life. Captain Tanaka, his interpreter, also is very engaging, and, as he speaks Eng lish, was quite companionable on the trip. It was Captain Tanaka who ar rested 'Dick' Little, the daring newspa per correspondent, following the battle of Mukden. Little, with the Russian army, was In at the death, and the Japa nese, realizing he might see too much if allowed to linger among them, blindfold ed him when they marched him through the lines. 'I'm pinched,' said Little, in English, when Tanaka took charge of him. It was new slang to Tanaka, and it made an everlasting hit with him. "Little was sent down to Tokio, and from there he came on home. The two did not meet again till the, Japanese came through Chicago. There were a thousand or more Japanese and Ameri cans at the train, and as Tanaka gazed from the rear platform out over the crowd, he saw a slender man head and shoulders above all others. As Kuroki was bowing very gravely and waving his hand In answer to the salutes. Tanaka suddenly yelled out: 'Dick! Big, tall, lit tle Dick! I'm pinched! O woe is me!' "Tanaka clapped his hands in childish glee, and a regiment of Russian Cos sacks could not have kept the two apart. They plowed through the crowd till they met, and Little threw his arms about the little Jap, kissing him on each cheek the Russian form of greeting. "This made a hit with Kuroki, and he and the other Japanese officers cheered. Little dragged the captain off toward a lemonade stand or something of the sort and wouldn't let htm go till the train was starting. 'I didn't know the real thing was so fine,' said the captain, as he climbed aboard. 'That's good enough to follow the flag anywhere with the Con stitution, as that Sultan of Sulu says.' "The train pulled out, with everybody cheering, except Tanaka and Little. I'm willing to swear the eyes of both were moist." Injunction Aarnlnst Braying; Jackass. Baltimore News. A neighbor has secured an injunction against Michael, a. braying jackass, owned by W. P. Keefe, of Sioux City, Iowa, which kept the neighborhood awake nights. Rooster Mothers t hickens and Saske, Boston Post. A white' bantam rooster, owned by Mrs. Otto Overmuller of Winsted, Conn., is mothering 20 chicks and a small snake. He drives away other poultry and clucks like a hen. Denver's Fifteen National Conventions. Chicago Record-Herald. There are to be 15 National conventions In Denver this Summer. And Denver is so far from the sources of supplies, as far as bottled goods are concerned, too. Is Carried In a Bag; to Prison. Baltimore News. , "Barney" Bogan, sentenced in Camden, N. J., to two years for assault, broke his crutches and wooden leg. and had to be carried to State Prison in a bag. Ballad of Onr Cooks. Puck. Selena's specialty vu brooms And scrubbing- and adjusting'. Daily she cycloned through the rooms Industriously dusting' With her th ice-box door staid shut And milk staid sweet le semper; We really loved Selena, but We couldn't stand her temper. Carlotta's voice was soft and low A most pacific creature; A pius goodness seemed to show Upon her every feature. , And clever, too, we never had To shout to make her see things; It's cruel to be jbliged tr add She stole our silver tea-things. I Jemima bless her! loudly scorned The least oervarlcatlons; Her lightest moments were adorned With Biblical Quotation. We liked Jemima I'll be bound I sometimes think we would have Kent her forever. But we found She drank more than she should have. Katrina flirted all day long; 1 Sabina fed her cousins; Klizabeth was never strong. But dances! by the dozens.) Now, Mary rules authoritat ively our culinary; And we we patiently await A treah surprise from Mary. ALL MEJf ARE SATIRE FAKERS. Some Instinct Leads Is to Invent Fish 'and Animal Yarns. New York Tribune. When the love of Nature was invented at the beginning of the last century no body supposed it would prove as fertile in quarrels as theology, but here we have in this" present day. thetwo schools of Nature-lovers hacking away at each other for all the world like orthodox and heterodox, or nominalists and realists, or any other famous protagonists of the past hating each other for the love of Nature as their predecessors hated each other for the love of God. It is a sad end for an improving doctrine; If we were Nature fakers ourselves we should say that the animals were having a laugh at man over It. The fact is. we suspect that this Nature faking Is a very old device. The man who said, "Go to the ant, thou slug gard!" had probably been told by his father before him, and his grandfather, too. of the wisdom, virtue, prudence and thrift of the animals, and the belief in such marvels had become so widespread among the race that when he pronounced his famous adjuration nobody rose up and smote him as a Nature faker. Many a man whose soul has since revolted at that proverb has wished that a stand had then been made against the Nature faker. It would have spared us much if our an cestors had fought out this battle a thou sand generations ago. but Dis allter visum: the sins of those ancestors are visited upon us even unto this generation. The wolf that suckled Romulus and Remus testifies to the old habit of Nature faking. The geese that saved Rome did so without rebuke from conscientious his torians. They had Nature faking reduced to a religion in ancient Egypt. Herodotus tells tales of the animals of Egypt, re lated to him doubtless . by the veracious priests of that country, which clearly en title the Father of History to be called the Father of Natural History too. Nat ural history has not been Improved upon since his day in thescope of its imagina tive quality, though much In detail. Aesop also was a peerless Nature faker. He has handed down to us a compendium of classic Nature faking. But Nature faking does not require the inspiring influence of classic examples. Does a man need to have read any of these ancient personages or any of their modern followers to. come back from a week's fishing excursion a thoroughly equipped Nature faker? Nature herself made us all Nature fakers. Only civiliza tion, self-restraint, respect for our repu tations, a disciplined imagination and bridled tongue keep us within bounds. South Is After Panama Trade. Panama Star and Herald. Whether the Isthmus will ever come into note as a health resort may be a mooted question, but there Is nowadays no lack of visitors from the States, who come to inspect the canal work, and maybe to "study the country" with a view to exploiting business possibilities. There have been so many Congressmen here that they no longer make the people stare, and of commercial men there has likewise been a full contingent. It ' will 'be remembered that we' lately published a cable- dispatch from- Ktw Or leans stating that a movement was on foot In several towns of the South for establishing a line of steamers to ply be tween Colon and New Orleans, by means of which the exchange of commodities could be facilitated. Briefly it may be shown that the proximity of the latter port, as compared with New York, should give It a decided advantage. The time element is of great account with mer chants, and where consignments of a perishable nature are concerned a saving of 48 to 60 hours in transit Is a big Item. In addition to which freight rates to New Orleans should be lower than to New York, and this is one sound reason why the tendency of local trade should be to gravitate to the Southern port. '. Smokers' RlKhta on Trolley Cars. MOUNf TABOR, Or., May 30. (To the Editor.) In your Issue of today one sign ing himself F. A. T. makes some drastic remarks about those opposing smoking on car platforms. Presumably F. A. T. Is a smoker, and maybe a chewer. If he uses "the weed" as this writer once did he is probably not F. A. T., but quite the re verse. However, this writer is as averse to tobacco now as any who have never used It, and has many times suffered from severe headaches caused by invol untary inhalations of second-hand plpe stlnk, and this not on car platforms, but emanating from those on car platforms, front and rear, when the writer was as near as possible to the middle of the car. In closing I will remark that If F. A. T. could be made to smell himself, as others have to smell him, he would not blame any one for feeling like annihilating him wherever and whenever .they would find him smoking on any part of a car: ONE WHO IS NOT F. A. T. Telephoning- Doesn't Injure Hearing;. Pathfinder. The question of whether the continual use of the telephone is Injurious to the hearing has been the subject of an ex haustive Investigation by a scientist at Copenhagen. An examination of 371 hello girls leads him to believe that continual telephone work does not damage the hearing. On the contrary, some subjects are declared to have had their hearing materially Improved owing to the prac tice attained in Immediately distinguish ing foreign sounds from those incidental to telephone work. You are Probably a SO-Foot Statesman. Dalles Optimist. The ' Coos Bay Harbor, a newspaper, calls Fulton "a tricky pettifogger and crafty trimmer," because he says a 30-foot channel Is enough for Poos Bay. And the same paper says H. M. Cake Is a "brilliant statesman and a far-seeing diplomat," because he thinks they should have a 40-foot channel. We argue that they should have a 50-foot channel, so where do we come In? ' TEDDY IN ifPi . IN THE , SUNDAY OREGONIAN TOMORROW TAKING "LITTLE BROTH ER" TO SCHOOL Full-page illustration in colors of a familiar scene. WHEN BIO AMERICANS GO A-FISHING Kingly sport that is ineradica ble among men of affairs. JUDGE GEORGE GRAY, EM INENT DEMOCRAT "Will residence in Delaware bar him from the Presidency! MODERN TRAGEDY AT THE COLONIAL Another of Dr. Furnivall'a fas- cinating detective stories. FIFTY YEARS WITH THE SAME TWO WIVES Golden wedding of a Mormon trio still living happily. GROVER CLEVELAND AT THE AGE OF SEVENTY Full-page picture of the ex-President and his family. STRANGE ROMANCE OF EL LEN TERRY A bride at 17; now a grandmoth er, and once more a bride. THE GREAT WHITE CITY OF AFRICA Frank G. Carpenter writes of Cosmopolitan Tunis. BROWNIE CLOWN IN BROWNIETOWN Falrner Cox's original conceit paints some caricatures. THE ROOSEVELT BEARS RE TURN HOME Last of Eaton's clever jingles and Culver's pictures. ORDER FROM YOUR NEWS DEALER TODAY IS SOCIALIS"- OS THE DECLINE? As It Spreads Ont, It Seems Also to Be ; ft tin a; Thinner. Chicago Chronicle. Organized labor is to make a novel demonstra'ticn on July 4 in Chicago. Having observed how fond the capi talists were of entertaining statesmen at their banquets, the Building Trades' Vjouncll "at a recent meeting projected a similar banquet In the Interest of labor. What is more, it was Intimated that one object was 'to show the world that the laboring men are "not all socialists and anarcnists." This was an Intimation, of courset that the number of socialists In the labor unions was much smaller than Is generally supposed and -if this were not the fact it would not have been safe to make the intimation. Moreover, it recalls a statement made recently by Secretary Root that he had been In formed by the Secretary of Commerce and Labor that within the last 12 years the number of socialists in labor unions had decreased from 33 per cent to 8 per cent. These incidents raise the question whether or not socialism Is declining; In this country, and the answer must be both yes and no. It is said that when an old man takes on fat he is going to die, and there Is a kind of expansion in religions and other move ments which Indicates decay and ap proaching extinction. There was an old Methodist preacher in this locality a few years ago who, in expressing his abi.orrence of the higher criticism and the broad church, said he had always noticed that when a man's religion became very broad it be came very thin. The depth of a great many move ments Is In Inverse proportion to their breadth. They are expanding, but the reason Is that they are lowering their standards. They spread geographically while they are losing intensity and power. There seems to be something like this going on In socialism. The theory Is more and more fashionable. It Is no longer, confined to the laboring class, but shows its head in the pulpit. In the novel, in the college and in the' halls of legislation. It is spreading, but It is getting thinner. People profess It or flirt with It without knowing what It is. It has become a sort of fasifion or fad. TIMBERLAND '. t -1 From the New York World. mm-. 1? -