Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937 | View Entire Issue (July 16, 1906)
THE MORNING OREGONIAN, MONDAY, JULY 16, 1906. Entered at the Postofflce at Portland. Or, as Second-Clams Matter. SUBSCRIPTION RATES. 17 INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. 13 (By Mall or Express.) DAILY. SUNDAY INCLUDED. Twelve months . I. 18.00 fclx months .................. 4. 25 Three months 2 ?5 One month .'3 Delivered by carrier, per year 9.00 Delivered by carrier, per month .75 Less time, per week 20 Bunday, one year 1.50 Weekly, one year (Issued Thursday)... I.jJ Sunday and Weekly, on year 3.50 HOW TO REMIT Bend postofflce money order, express order or personal check on your local bank. Stamps, coin or currency are at the sender's risk. EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE. The S. C. Beckwitb. Special Agency New York, rooms 48-50. Tribune building. Chi cago, rooms 510-512 Tribune building. KEPT ON SALE, f hlcugo Auditorium Annex, Postofflce News Co.. 178 Dearborn street. St. Paul. Minn N. St. Marie. Commercial Ctatlon. Denver Hamilton & Kendrlck. 908-912 Seventeenth street; Pratt Book Store. 1214 Fifteenth street: I. Wetnstein. Goldfleld. Nev Frank Sandstrom. Kansas City. Mo. Rlckaecker Clear Co Ninth and Walnut. Minneapolis M. J. Kavanaugh. CO South Third. Cleveland, O. James Pushaw, 807 Superior street. New York City L. Jones & Co., Astor House. Oakland. Cal. W. H. Johnston, Four teenth and Franklin streets; N. Wkiatley. Ocden D. L. Boyle. Omaha Barkalow Bros., 1612 Farnam; Ma tea. Stationery Co.. 1308 Farnam; 24'J South Fourteenth. Sacramento, Cal. Sacramento Hews Co., 439 K street. Salt Lake Salt Lake News Co.. 77 West Second btreel South: Miss L. Levin. 24 Church street. Los Angeles B. E. Amos, manager seven street wagons; Berl News Co.. 32ofa South broad way. Sau Diego B. E. Amos. Pasadena, Cal. Berl News Co. San Francisco Foster & Orear, Ferry News Stand. Washington. D. C. Ebbltt House, Penn sylvania avenue. PORTLAND, MONDAY, JULY 16, 1900. THE FATE OF THE INDIVIDUAL. Hannls Taylor In the July number of the North American Review, calls attention again to the curious precau tions which our state and federal Governments have taken against hasty legislation. There is nothing like them In the world, as he truly remarks, and the course of our history is bringing out the belief that other nations are fortunate in being free from them. In the first place, the powers of all our legislative 'bodies are strictly limited by written constitutions. Writers like Carlyie have always viewed written constitutions with contempt. It must be evident to everybody that unless they are gradually ignored and con stantly violated they inevitably hamper the development of nations, for no body of men, however wise, can fore see the necessities of the future and provide for them all. As a matter of fact, constitution making by custom and court decisions has gone steadily on ever since the Nation was organized and will continue to the end. Rever ence for the paper foundation is largely factitious and always shows most brilliantly when the constitution has to be Invoked to shelter some enormous evil. Thus, never was the constitution so much worshiped as when it was being used to fortify slavery. Nothing could equal the reverence of men like Calhoun, who loved slavery, and Webster, who feared It, for the con stitution which they said made it the cornerstone of our institutions. Like wise, during the last session of Con gress there was a sudden revival of constitution worship because the an cient document was thought to be capable of a twist that would sustain the Jniqulties of the railroads. In the second place, the constitutions, wth one or two exceptions, give a veto upon legislation to some executive officer. Even acts adopted by the peo ple under the referendum are said by our Supreme Court to be subject to the Governor's veto, "to prevent hasty action." The supposition is that the wisdom of one man chosen by the people exceeds that of the whole body who elected him. In some cases this may be true. A any rate, executive vetoes have been popular for the last quarter century. But no Governor, not even the President of the United States, has more than a suspensory veto. The legislative body can always pass a law against his will If it chooses. The Imperative veto resides in the courts. None of our constitutions gives the courts a formal veto upon legislative acts. It Is extra-constitutional and purely inferential. It is a case, and some say a flagrant one, of constitu tion making by judicial decision. Radi cal thinkers go so far as to call it usurpation. But, for all that, the courts have a veto power and exercise It continually and there is no appeal from it. The state courts veto acts of their Legislatures and the federal courts veto any state law they please and also any act of Congress. The veto Is always exercised on the ground that the law in question violates the constitution, but the ingenuity of Judges finds this check rather fanciful than real. Any law whatever is un constitutional if the courts, choose to say so. Thus the really effective legis lative power under our system and a large fraction of the executive has been assumed by the courts. Like the astute Augustus Caesar, they have hitherto chosen to exercise their abso lute dominion under the ancient forms of free government, but if they should ever wish to take the appearance as well as the reality of tyranny, what is there to hinder them? Dr. Taylor suggests a restraint, but It is purely revolutionary. He recalls the Incidents of Jackson and Lincoln ignoring Supreme Court ducisions which were contrary to the public good aid, of course, this could be done again. No decision In the last resort can be enforced without the army, and the commander of the army Is the President. But it Is unpleasant to con template a defect in our system of gov ernment so glaring. That -our Institu tions are free only In name is not an Inspiring thought, and that it Is only the forbearance of the courts which, saves us from tyranny suggests the necessity of changes. Dr. Taylor points out that the English courts possess no veto power over acts of Parliament, and he says plainly that, in this par ticular at least, the British Govern ment is more democratic than our own. Up to the present the courts have exercised their veto power principally to nullify laws in restraint of monopo ly. This steady and almost unvarying practice has contributed with other factors to subject the Nation to mo nopolistic rule more completely than has ever been known before in the history of the world. It began, as Dr. Taylor points out. with the famous Dartmouth College decision, which we owe to the wonderful genius of Webster, and persisted almost with out interruption to the present day. Almost all the decisions fortifying mo nopoly are based upon two "constitu tional" maxims. One is that no law must violate a contract; the other, that private property must not be taken for public use without compensation. What a world of extortion and iniquity Is covered by these marvelously ex tensible maxims. They are like the bull's hide with which Dido fooled the natives who sold her the site of Car thage. She was to have as much land as the hide would inclose, and the wily widow cut it Into a thin string which inclosed a province. By holding that every franchise to a corporation is a contract the whole dragon brood are at once set above the law; while any law whatever that restrains the extortion of a monopoly may be de clared to take private property with out compensation. The courts have frequently held that laws reducing railroad rates were confiscatory. They have never held that rates which took all .the profits of the farmers along the line were confiscatory. It is a rule which does not work both ways. In 'The Octopus," by that great genius, Frank Norris, too early dead, a rail road confiscated property by whole sale, the courts aiding It with no thought of the constitutional prohibi tion; and the fiction of Norris is only too truly typical of the reality. We have fatuously called this system of no-government "individualism." In reality it is anarchy and has almost ruined the individual. It is an attempt to realize in practice the political doc trines of Herbert Spencer and his school, who were all anarchists. Law was invented by the individual to pro tect himself. It is his only recourse against conscienceless power. America has been trying to get along vlthout law for a generation. Needed statutes have been denied by Congress and those already enacted have been ig nored. The result is anarchy. We have found plenty of law to restrain the individual, none to restrain the corporation. The negroes in Florida catch alligators by tying a calf to a stake where the tide slowly rises to cover him. The calf bawls and at tracts the alligators. This is precisely the way we have treated the individual in this country for many years. 75-CENT GAS IN KANSAS CITY. Kansas City has just ordered the price of artificial gas reduced from $1 to 75 cents, after a fight with greedy grabbers, who capitalized the people's streets 'at dizzy figures and compelled the people to pay interest and dividend tribute on fictitious franchise and stock valuations. The whole story of the fight in Kan sas City the toiling people against plutocratic pirates reads like the tale of greedy graft in Portland, practiced by franchise-grabbers like "What-Are-You - Going-to-Do-About-It" Adams, who has grown so accustomed to shav ing the people's savings in his bank that he must, perforce, do the same thing when he sells them gas or ex plode in abuse and profanity when they fight back. The 95-cent price in Portland is still too high, nor will the price ever be re duced to a fair figure until the people rise in their might and 'demand the re turn of the public streets and then grant a franchise which will enable them to regulate price and quality of gas. So completely In the clutches of Gas Adams' monopoly is the City of Port land that it cannot compel the manu facture of a standard quality of gas nor its sale at a reasonable figure, while complaints are greeted with the lordly indifference of a gang of "None-of-your-buslness" franchise-grabbers. But Kansas City has the power, In its Council, to control quality and price and the result at that place is a reduc tion to 75 cents, while Portland con sumers must pay 95 cents or be shut off by a corporation that, throufeh its grab methods, owns virtually the people's streets and defies them with "What are you going to do about it?" Kansas City can take over the gas plant, after ten years, by purchasing all outstanding bonds. This shuts off fictitious capitalization of franchises, like that practiced by the Portland Gas Company, whose plant is worth not more than $2,000,000, but whose fran chise (a free gift from the public) is valued at $1,000,000 more, to pay divi dends and interest on which gas con sumers must pay high prices. A high-handed grab of the greediest sort is that of the gas company in Portland. Some day it will end and the people will pay, not 95 cents, but a fair price, and cease to be tapped for the sweet products of their labor by franchised drones who collect high tolls from the work of toilers. THE REAL RACE SUICIDE. Under this head a writer in the Woman's Home Companion for July savs: "That many serious-minded peo pie look with alarm upon the growing tendency to adapt the factory to the size and ability of the little child is evident from the growing reluctance of men whose trades are being invaded by ignorant and inefficient child labor to bring offspring into a world which cannot promise a life of the simplest comforts in reward for hard labor." Herein, it is asserted, lies the real dan ger of race suicide, for while the man of virtue and strength is deterred from propagating his kind because of the Jeopardy in which his children would stand, the vicious and ignorant, the physically unfit and the discouraged are not deterred by any such consid eration, but regardless of consequences swell the proportion of those who will be, from birth to death, a heavy lia bility against society. The attempt to rescue the race from deterioration by giving children a chance to get their growth before they are confined year in and year out to factories, is a means for the preserva tion of the race that has in it nothing occult, but is open to the considera tion of all the world. It is the glory of our modern indus try that it ever tends to lift the heavier burdens from human shoulders and place them upon iron and steel, cun ningly devised and harnessed for the purpose. This glory is not, however, without its menace to the race, since it explains the ever-Increasing demand for child labor, "ffe have it on the authority of John Spargo, a careful student of and worker in this cause, thSt children babes of 3, 4, 6 and 8 years are made to thread the needles, pull out bastings, sew on buttons and malce buttonholes in the manufacture of cheap cotton wrappers the flimsy things that heap high the bargain counters of the stores and hang limp and. dejected from the shoulders of the tired wife of the farmer or those of the lonely plainswoman. They must do these things in order that the tired, anxious, driven worker at the sewing machine may be able to finish her 'stunt" and make her petty day's wage. It is difficult to see how child labor laws can relieve this situation to any great extent. The bargain counter has become a national trade institution, and it must be fed with these cheap things, manufactured at such cost and "sold at prices "ruinously low." One need not be possessed of a very lively imagination in order to find the bearing that these things have upon race suicide first in the manner gen erally deplored and again in the de terioration of the race so manifest in the appearance of the children of a manufacturing city. Effort on behalf of these children is commendable and difficult. To forbid them to work is to reduce the already meager income of the family; to permit them to work in--cessantly is to stunt their grown and rob childhood of all delight. The de mand for and the sale of cheap ready made clothing was never so great as now. Sales of wrappers and petticoats and aprons "below the cost of ma terial and making" are prime factors in this problem, and still they repre sent the supply that follows demand. A wheel within a wheel, this problem moves. Upon it in its endless whirl he bodies of little children are broken and the spirits of women are crushed. No wonder that resort is had to race suicide to stop this relentless grind; no wonder that race suicide, not of the pre-natal type, is the result of this dizzy whirl. Or is it not race murder that stalks about the workrooms where little children toil? And Is not race suicide preferable on the basis of hu manity to race murder? HITCHCOCK A'S. FULTON. Secretary Hitchcock wants to put Senator Fulton in jail because the Sen ator, in a moment of inadvertence or anger, or frankness, declared that the Secretary was In his dotage. It was an indiscreet and, we think, unjust remark, but it is difficult to see why the Senator should be jailed for it. He cannot be, of course, fbr there is no such thing as lese majeste in this coun try; at least the courts do not recognize It. Therefore the unfortunate Senator is to be put behind the bars for some thing else, if possible. The something else is land frauds, or any other in dictable frauds. The Government theory of the situ ation of Oregon is that land frauds and public office-holding in this state are synonymous and inseparable. We will no say that this notion, which has been applied to Oregon affairs with startling and disastrous results, has not had some basis in truth; but we will say that, so far as has been ob servable, the Government has never had any intention of exempting Sena tor Fulton from the practical applica tion of its ideas and information about Oregon, and that he would long ago have been in the same boat with other members of the Oregon delegation if there -had been reason or occasion to put him there. At least we sup pose so. But of course we shall have to wait and see. The end is not yet. The possibilities of the Hitchcock fine-tooth comb are enormous, and we may be sure that Senator Fulton will not feel that it will be perfectly easy to keep out of the way, merely because he thinks that Secretary Hitchcock is in his dotage. If we are not mistaken, the Senator was once seen in the very act of scanning earnestly and minute ly and in a most suspicious manner a map of the unappropriated lands of Oregon. MISTAKES OF A PESSIMIST. There are people doing business with the rapidly developing Far East who will not agree with Mr. Hill's pes simistic views regarding the future of our Oriental commerce. It would be idiotic and unjust for one to question or speak lightly of the intelligence of a man who has to his credit the marvel ous industrial and financial achieve ments which have made for Mr. Hill a lasting place in the commercial history of the world. But the unsatisfactory outlook at this time Is not the first case that has provoked from him a train of gloomy predictions which were not verified ' by subsequent events. When the hand of the law laid heavily on Northern Securities and ordered the dissolution of that enormous consolida tion of railroad interests, Mr. Hill gave vent to expressions fully as pessimistic as any which are forthcoming at this time. The rulings of the court at that time prevented the consummation of plans which would have given him ab solute control of the transportation business in a territory 2000 miles long and more than 500 miles wide. Regardless of the liberal policy which Mr. Hill has always pursued in the territory where he has operated, the court did not deem it safe to place such vast power in the hands of one -corporation. Then Mr. Hill sulked and said the court's ruling would make it impossible for him to carry out plans which he had under consideration for the development and general good of the West. The echo of his pessimistic utterances at that time had hardly died away before the practically virgin field of the Pacific Northwest was invaded by big corps of railroad survey ors. Instead of the matter of providing the Pacific Northwest with proper and necessary transportation being left in the hands of one com pany, we now have the liveliest kind of competition in railroad building be tween four different transcontinental railroads. Not only are a number of new roads coming across the Rockies to participate in the big traffic here, but throughout the Northwest are con stantly increasing numbers of small roads and electric lines, which are be ing pushed into heretofore inaccessible localities by men who now have the assurance that there will "be sufficient competition to enable satisfactory con nection with the big roads. Every mile of new road that is built In this rich country creates more traffic for. the railroads. Every available piece of rolling stock in the Pacific Northwest is taxed to the limit at the present time, and every road is short on cars, and if every mile of road now projected in the three states is built and equipped with rolling stock, the new business alone will work it up to the limit From the Hill standpoint the Northern Securities decision may have justified pessimistic criticism. As viewed by the people, and as proven by time, it was highly beneficial to the country as a whole. Another cause for Mr. Hill's disap pointment over the Oriental trade may be found in his unpleasant and un profitable experience with his Oriental steamers Minnesota and Dakota. When Mr. Hill, either carried away by Ms own enthusiasm or influenced by dreamers who have since been ejected from his employ, began construc tion of those "elephants," there could not be found on the Pacific Coast a practical shipping man or a man fa miliar with Oriental trade conditions who did not predict just what has come to pass. The steamers are entirely too large and expensive for the trade, and quite naturally have proved to be a highly unprofitable venture. This is not the fault of the Oriental trade, nor is it altogether due to the clumsy and hampering laws, but instead it is the result of an attempt to do business with vessels wholly unfitted for the trade in which they were placed. Mention of these "mistakes of Mr. Hill is not made in a captious sense, but they are brought to mind at this time as evidence which affords some comfort by suggesting the belief that as Mr. Hill has been wrong in his assumptions in the past, he may also, be wrong In regard to the future of the Pacific Coast manufacturing interests and their prospective importance in the Oriental trade. Mr. Hill is prevented by our absurd laws from placing the American flag over vessels which he could buy at the same price as they are sold to his competitors on the ocean, but he will always find the fleets of the world in readiness to take his freight at tidewater on the Pacific and carry it to the Orient at much lower cost to him than by his own unwieldy and expensive steamers. Late-sown wheat on the light lands of Oregon and Washington has appar ently suffered considerably by reason of the excessive heat, accompanied in eome sections by the fatal hot wind which withers and shrivels the berry while it is in the "milk," or "dough," stage. The pre-eminent advantages of the Fall wheat are again demonstrat ed, as practically everything except the late-sown Spring grain was so far along that it was not affected by the excessively hot weather. The acreage of Spring wheat was somewhat larger than usual this year, on account of considerable reseeding being done where Winter wheat had been killed by the cold weather. The conditions are not always favorable for wheat growers to get in a full acreage of Fall grain, but the experience of the past few days, as well as that of for mer seasons, has demonstrated beyond all question that the Winter wheat crop is the only one that can be relied on one year with another with positive assurance of success. The financial statement of the Port of Portland Commission for the year ending June 30 shows disbursements of more than $200,000. Since the organiza tion of the commission Portland has expended on river . improvements through the commission more than $1,000,000. Only a comparatively small amount of this morey was expended in the Willamette River, the greater part of it being used for deepening the Co lumbia, a stream which laps more than twice as many miles of shore in Wash ington as in Oregon. Even In this state there are large interests outside of Portland which are benefited by a good channel to the sea and which should, in degree at least, share with Portland in paying the bills. No other city in the Pacific Northwest has ever contributed so liberally to a cause in which others were so vitally interested as Portland has with her generous ap propriations for thaj improvement of the Columbia River. If a complete and immaculate suit of ice cream flannel is the proper garb for the great Methodist White Rib boner, Dr. C. T. Wilson, it may be sup posed that Rev. J. Whitcomb Brougher will keep up with the theological pro cession by donning suitable Baptist ap parel. We should say that a bathing suit would fit his sect, the weather and his particular style of beauty. Maxim Gorky, the talented but some what indecent Russian patriot, makes caustic comment of what he terms the Puritan morality" of the Americans. There is undoubtedly good ground for criticism of America's moral tone, but this land of the free is not yet prepared to adopt any such brand of morality as that displayed by Gorky when he ar rived in this country. The Appeal to Reason, which is pub lished for money In Kansas, says the greatest problem that faces the world Is that of the unemployed. The Appeal willfully overlooks the situation close at hand, where farmers of the Sun flower State cannot get needed helpers. In the case of the chauffeur held for killing the little Korklin boy, John Manning should remember that the only friends of the orphan are the Lord and the District Attorney. The sacrifice of that little lad may mean the saving of many. The Southern Pacific sometimes per mits something to happen up in the Siskiyous, just to show the jaded trav eler that any complaint of slow time between here and San Francisco would better be reserved until he is safe over the mountains. Idaho is having a great row over the United States Senatorship, and thinks it might be amicably and easily settled by the direct primary. They noticed over there how easily and amicably the question was recently solved in Oregon. It may be hoped that the authorities will reserve a special apartment in jail for all our swift automobilists, where they can boast all day and night about how fast they were going when the police got 'em. If Secretary Hitchcock carries out his dire threat to put Senator Fulton in jail, we won't have any member of the delegation left at Washington, except- Max Pracht. John Sharp Williams really meant to say that he was afraid Roosevelt would run again. If he won't take Roosevelt's word for It, perhaps he'll take Loeb's. Harry Thaw dismissed his lawyers for insisting that he is crazy. We now leave it to the alienists to fight it out among themselves as to whether he has proved It. Detective Burns, it is announced, will noJ, come again to Oregon, and a niim ber of our most esteemed citizens will find it safe to come out of the woods. After all, the Supreme Court of the United States is going to have the last say as to whether jail is the right place for a member of the Oregon delegation. It will take Mr. Loss a few days to determine whether that franchise gold brick is under the city's hat, or hie own. We are entirely willing to support a movement for eafe and sane Summers. JOH.V G. CARLISLE'S HAT. It's a Worm White Tile With Fonr Inch Mourning Band. Providence Journal. It Is the consensus of opinion of those whose opinion is valuable that there is no clearer intellect, no more logical mind and no more convincing tongue than are pos sessed by the distinguished Kentuckian who was for many years prominent and influential in public life as Representative and Senator in Congress. Speaker and Secretary of the Treasury. Fair and just, as well as able, he commanded always the respect and admiration of political foes as well as friends. In 1S96 it was the wonderfully lucid address of Mr. Carlisle in explanation of the principles involved in the fight for "honest" money and In description of the every-day details of "finance," the first of which was deliv ered at the Auditorium in Chicago, that did as much as any one other thing to turn "the plain people" against free sil ver. The flexibility of the statesman's mind as revealed in these speeches was all the more astonishing when considered in the light of his silver record in Con gress. When he left Washington, D. C, in 1S97 Mr. Carlisle did not have a dollar; he had Bvd humbly and generally in Doaraing houses or plain hotels nearly-all of his long years of public service. Today at 71 he earns large fees and has recently pur chased a modest country place in Con necticut, where he plans to live the re mainder of his days In comfort. Passing through the gates of the New York Cen tral Station a few mornings ago along the concourse alive with the throng of "com muters, business and .professional men and "swells" who were crowding city ward, Mr. Carlisle afforded an opportu nity for a close study of his outward "make-up" by one who had opportunity to observe him daily for many years, and this is what he saw: A man of 5 feet 10, with sloping shoul ders, shuffling gait and dull gray eyes, entirely unmoved by the bustle and ap parently obliiioui to his surroundings. His face, devoid of mustache or whisker., was unshaven, it being Monday morning, and bore unmistakable marks of the own er's fondness for the chewing of tobacco, a habit that he was even at that early hour indulging in. Although the heat was oppressive, he wore a long, black. Winter, heavy frock coat; baggy, well worn trousers of like material; rusty shoes, and, more than all, that abomina tion in the eyes of all right-thinking peo plea white lawn tie. But it was this great man's top piece that, without In tending a play on words, capped the cli max. Nothing like it, probably, has been seen since Horace Greeley passed along the same path in his daily journeys be tween New York and Chappaqua. It was a white tile of the most altitudl nous style, worn and weather-beaten, en circled by a four-inch mourning band with a rim made flimsy with long usage. The tout ensemble of this figure was some thing wonderful to behold, interesting as well as amusing. It did not by any means suggest a Reuben, for no jay fresh from Jayville could by the exercise of any amount of ingenuity look as John G. Car lisle looked in his latter-day environment that bright morning. Although an import ant figure in the very center of activity, surrounded by wealth and the influence of modern life, he seemed a relic of the past, a product of the stage-coach days when he was a struggline lawyer in Cov ington, whose modest eyes did not dare to look up even to the glories of Cincin nati across the muddy river. His costume can be accounted for only as an eccen tricity of genius, or, to do mere justice to the wearer, as one of the privileges of the great. J. Plerpont Morgan' "Rest" Cure. Paris Dispatch. J. Pierpont Morgan is taking what may be called an artistic rest cure in Paris. The only difficulty he experiences In mak ing a complete success of the treatment is from the art dealers, who have be sieged Mr. Morgan's hotel in batches of Ave and six at a time. As many as a hundred dealers in a week call at the Hotel Bristol, where he is staying. However, in order to put a stop to this, the American millionaire has insist ed that the dealers shall send photo graphs of their wares. These are looked over by Mr. Morgan's secretary and those which seem likely to interest him are submitted for his approval. ' If Mr. Mor gan takes a fancy to the photograph he goes in his automobile to the dealer and inspects the object. He makes at least one of these excur sions daily, and generally makes some purchase, presumably for his private art gallery, which it is expected will be some day presented to New York. Mr. Mor gan's apartment is one of the most se cluded in the hotel. Double 1 doors, of which one is felt, shut off every sound from the hotel. Archie Roosevelt, Engine Driver. Oyster Bay (L. I.) Despatch. Archie and Quentin, the President's sons, and Philip, their cousin, son of W. Emlen Roosevelt, have realized one of the fond ambitions of American boyhood. On Saturday night they rode in one of the passenger engines of the Long Island railroad, from Oyster Bay to Mineola and return. Archie was the engine driver. He sat with his hand on the throttle of the en gines of course, with the big hand of the regular driver over his. Quentin and Philip rode on the other side and rang the bell by turns, and all leaned out of the cab windows and enjoyed the cinders and grea3e to their hearts' content. When the three boys modestly applied for the ride the station master. Marsh, suggested that if they had the permission of their father they might go. It was not a minute before the telephone bell in the station was ringing. Sagamore Hill was called up. The President answered and gave his permission and the ride began. Kentucky Whisky Makes Fish Drunk. New York Tribune. A stand at a distillery at Frankfort, Ky., broke down the other day and 16. 000 gallons of whisky were lost. It ran into Benson Creek. Farmers living on the banks of the stream later saw hun dreds of fish either floating lazily or else leaping playfully on the surface and al together unafraid of the presence of the men The farmers caught them by the bushel, and it was not until the news of the break at the distillery became known that the mystery was solved. The flsh had become intoxicated. Strictly Germ-Proof. Woman's Home Companion. The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up; They looked upon the Creature with a loath ing undisguised It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Ster ilized. , They said It was a Microbe an'd a Hotbed of Disease. They steamed It In a vapor of a thousand odd degrees; They froze It In a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope, And washed It In permanganate with car- bolated soap. In sulphuretted hydrogen they steeped Its wiggly ears. They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears; They donned their rubber mittens and they took It by the hand And 'lected it a member of the Fumigated Band. There's not a Micrococcus In the garden where they play; They swim in pure Iodoform a dozen times a day; And each Imbibes his rations from a Hy gienic Cup The Bunny and th "tWw and the Prophy lactic Pup. A NEW MAN WITH HOC New York's Republican County Chatr mnn Given Gardening; Lessons. New York Evening Telegram. Teaching the young idea to sprout, not to shoot. Representative Herbert Parsons, chairman of the Republican county com mittee, turning aside from the turmoil of politics, is engaged in demonstrating gardening to a class of children under the auspices, of the New York University. He and Mrs. Parsons have been inter ested in this work for years, and when ever the representative finds time he joins in the active work in th field. The place selected for the present ex periments is the old Schwab farm ad joining the university grounds, and there Mr. Parsons, with trousers rolled up and a broad-brimmed hat to ward off the sun, delves with spade and hoe several hours each day, setting an example to the youthful pupils who are taking their first lessons in gardening. Five days In the week at 9:30 o'clock the class begins work. Of the 18 pupils. 16 are young women. With spades on shoulders and trowels in hands they trudge in single file, with Parsons lead ing, down the narrow, overgrown path that twists its way down the side of the University hill. For two hours they dig and fill, while the instructor stands near by offering suggestions and hints. Every pupil has a plot and In it plants beans. radisnes, beets, turnips, onions and let tuce. No manual help is granted, the young women handling even the spades. Probably there are 16 young women who never before wished their shoes were No. 9. At a little after 11 the gardening is over, and the class adjourns to one of the university buildings to hear Parsons lec ture for an hour. Professor to Wear His Bride's Name. Chicago Record-Herald. Professor H. P. Williamson of the Uni versity of Chicago, head of French and the Romance languages, is going to have a 'romance of his own. Following a me diaeval French custom, he is going to lose his identity in that of a French bride. He has gone to Paris to marry Mile. Alice Azellne Lucie Olympie d'Vis me. When he returns to his classes and the troubadour literature in the Fall it will be- as M. d'Visme. For generations the D'Visme family has been one of the proudest In France. Tales of the bravery of its men and the beauty of its women long before the days of Versailles are traditions of which each member of the family is proud. Having once borne the name, it seems little less than a tragedy to give it up. Therefore, when Mile. Alice Azellne Lucie Olympie consented to marry a plebeian "Mr." it was agreed that the change in name, in accordance with the old custom, should be made, and that "Williamson" should pass Into oblivion. Ethel Roosevelt's Special Chums. New York Press. Miss Ethel Roosevelt has Invited sev eral of her classmates to spend a few weeks at Sagamore Hill, and al fresco entertainments are planned for theis en tertainment. All these girls give promise of being pretty. Miss Ethel is the only member of her family who truthfully can claim beauty as her possession. Her half-sister, Mrs. Longworth, though vi vacious and attractive, lacks the lines that make up loveliness. Miss Ethel has soft brown hair, rounded face and dark blue eyes. Her special chum is Miss Celia May, daughter of Henry May and niece of Lady Bagot. Miss May has in herited the good looks of her family. She will remain the entire Summer with the Roosevelts, as her parents and her elder sister Isabel have gone abroad. Miss Helen Taft Is another promising beauty of this set. Murder Is Avenged by Marriage. An interesting account is given of the strange customs of the Bedouins of the Sinai peninsula in Lord Cromer's annual report just issued on Egypt and the Sou dan. If a man kills another In time of peace, the relatives of the murdered man, beginning from the father to the fifth generation, have the right to revenge or pardon against the receipt of , "blood money." This latter is fixed at 41 camels. If the murdered man was of the same tribe as the murderer, the latter, or his near relatives, have to give a girl in mar riage to one of the victim's relatives without receiving theusual dowry. When she gives birth to a child she is free to go back if she chooses. In the latter case the marriage must be renewed and the usual dowry paid. Five camels may be substituted for -the girl. NEWSPAPER WAIFS. Lola "Jack says I'm as pretty as I can be." Grace "Well, of course. It isn't your fault that you can't be prettier." Chicago Daily News. Ethel "How long have the Newlyrlches been in society?" Bob "From the way they play golf, I should Judge about two days." Judge. "What wages do you pay, mum?" "I'm willing to pay you whatever you are worth." "I've never worked for as little as that, mum. Good day to you." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Lockkeeper (to bald-headed oarsman, hearing a squeaky rowlock and looking out for a tip) "Shall I put some grease on your scull, sir?" "Grease on my skull? No, thanks. I've tried everything." Punch. "It has always been my rule," said Mr. Borem. "to spend as I go." "Indeed," ex claimed Miss Sharpe, glaring significantly at the clock, "in that way I suppose you've saved considerable money." Philadelphia Press. "You told me he was a good ladles' horse," angrily said the man who 'had made the purchase. "He was," replied the deacon. "My wife owned him, and she's one of the best women I ever knew." Chicago Record-Herald. WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THE PREMIUMS ; LET THE LOSSES TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES 1 IN THE OREGON COUNTRY. Bucolic Bliss. Canby Tribune. The people of Canby have one ad vantage. They don't have to dig p for street oar fares and cheap shows. What He Did Alone. Moro Observer. With Senator Fulton alone to represent Oregon interests, this state fared verj well at the late session of Congress. Civil Service. Lewiston Tribune. With a little training many Ameri cans will want a Government off iclal in uniform to take every fly out of their soup. One of William Barlow's Monuments. Aurora Borealis. Out at Sam Millers place, six miles east of Aurora, there is a big walnut tree that measures 11 feet and 1 inch In circumference, nearly 4 feet through. This Is the largest black walnut tree we have heard of In this section. How to Restore Seattle's .Sanity. Seattle Times. Insane murderers are getting to be mighty thick In Seattle. About a hun dred business men had better go lnsano ior nair an hour and wreak vengeance on these Insane murderers. That would re store sanity in Seattle in 24 hours. What Is Due to Oregon. Moro Observer, Mr. Roosevelt owes it to Oregon to make an equitable division of the Irri gation funds, to which this State has contributed so heavily. This Is a duty which should be discharged for reasons other than that the money rightfully belongs to this State. Expensive Holes. East Oregonian. One old "Jmatilla came into A. Kankel'a implement store yesterday evenln ; after machine olL He bought a gallon i f oil In a can with a small mouth in which was a common cork. He saw some gallon cans tilled with high-grade cylinder oil with larger mouths with a cap screwed on, and wanted one of them, but when told that the price was much higher, he said: "What's matter? No more oil, can all same; look Just alike; you charge moro money for big oil hole in can." Tough on the Salem Hog. Weston Leader. Portland Is the actual capital of the state. Therein legislation is framed, to be enacted into law at Salem. It should be the capital in name as well. Four fifths of the people of Oregon would be better satisfied with such an arrange ment. They are tired of watching the bristles arise on the Salem porker when a little swill escapes from its trough. The majority cast by Marlon County against the appropriation bill is well un derstood to be a grunt of protest, and some of us would like to go a little fur ther and make the d d hog squeal. Delicate Allusions to Somebody. Astorian. When a man, or a woman, goes de liberately after a divorce from husband or wife, secures it, and then, as deliber ately, marries some other man, or wom an, we are willing to concede them a palm for pluck; but when a divorcee, man or woman, remarries his, or her, di vorced colleague, then we hide the palms and begin to hand out the crowns. They are the bravest people on earth in the mere matter of nerve. Who shall deny them the high-sign of human temerity? There Is a sublimity, a reckless audacity, a superb intrepidity, in such an act, that inspires the -world with conscious awe! Need More Room. Philomath "Review. Wonderful specimens of fruit and cereal products are being reported among Ben ton farmers of which a few are the fol lowing: Vetch vines 9 feet long, oats with 52 stools and the same number of well-formed heads to a single grain planted, vetch hay 5 tons per acre, barley 8 feet high, etc. The oldest settlers say that not In 25 years has this section of Oregon been blessed with such crops of fruit and grain much, of course, yet in prospect or such a prosperous present or hopeful future. E. A. Parker and Dick Fehlcr are both seeking to rent adjoining farms to cure their hay, it being so heavy on the ground that they have no room to cure it. Mr.. Parker says he wishes he had a two story ranch, at least for this year. When the Missus Butted In. Vale Oriano. Last Friday afternoon Mrs. F. A. Brown, of the Hess Hotel, met with an accident in which she was quite severely burned, and it was sheer luck and her presence of mind that saved her life. The hotel has been having trouble for some time with their cook, and Mrs. Brown went into the kitchen about 4 o'clock to help hurry matters along. Find ing the fire in the coal range very low, and unable to get it to burn readily with the usual coaxing, she reached for the coaloil can and poured some of the con tents on to the hot bed of coals, and in an instant the accumulation of gas Ig nited and shot its flames nearly to the celling, enveloping her in flames. Her hair was set on fire and in her efforts to put it out she was badly burned about the head, hands and fore arms. Her loud calls for help soon brought Mr. Brown and others about the hotel to her rescue, who gave her the proper care, and she la now in a fair way to soon recover with no bad effects from the burns and nervous ! shock. From the New York World.