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About Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 22, 1903)
THE M0RN1KG 'OREGCyNTAK, SATURDAY, AUGUST 22, 1903. Elerfi at the PcstoClce at Portland. Oreroa. u second-class ra titer. REVISED STJESCHIPTION BATES. By Mall (postite prepaid la advance) Daily, with Sunday, per msnth DalllV Ear. day excepted, per year..... Dally, with Sun Cur. Pr Tear Cusdar. per year . ........ The Weekly, per year A-V The Wtklr. "3 months -- To City Subscriber . . , Dallr. per week, delivered. Sunday exceptffl.jo Daily, per week, delivered. Sunday lncladed.rOo POSTAGE .RATES. United Eta tel. Caaada and Mexico JO to 14-page paper."". 18 to 20-page iap?r .......... 3 to 44-pace papr.........-....- -c Foreign rates double. 3Cews or discustlon Intended for publication In Tee Ortgonlan should be addressed iavarl febly Edltor The Oregonlan," not to the same of any Individual Letters relaUag to adver tising, subscription, or to any business matter should be addressed simply "Tee Oregonlau." Eastern Buclnesu Office,- 42, 44. 45, 47. 8, Tribune building. New York City; 610-11-12 Tribune building. Chicago; the S. C Beckwltb pedal Agency. Eastern representative. For-sale In San Francisco by '1. K. Lee, Pal ace Hotel sews iitand; Goldsmith Bros., 230 Butter street; F. W. Pitta. 1003 Market street; J. X. Cooper Co.. 748 Market street, near the Palace Hotel; Foster. &,Orear. Ferry news tsd; Frank. , 0 Ellis street, and N. Wbe&tley, 13 Mbetan street. For tale In Los Angeles by B. F. Gardner. ISS8 South Eprlng street, and Oliver & Haines. 505 South Spring street. For sale In Kansas City. Mo, by Rlcksecxer Cigar Co., Ninth and 'Walnut streets. For sale la Chicago by the P. O. ei Co., '17 Dearborn street; Charles MacDonald. S3 Washington street, and the Auditorium Annex 'tjewrs stand. For sale In Omaha by Barkalow Bros., 1612 Ffcrnam street; Megeath Stationery Co., 1308 Ramanr street; McLaughlin Bros., 210 S. 14th street. For sale la Ogdfn by W. G. Kind. 114 25th jtretr James H Crockwell, 242 25th street; F. R. Godard and C H. Myers. For eale in Salt Lake by the Salt-Lake News 'Co.. T7 "West Second South street. . For sale In Washington. D. C. by the Ebbett Houee news stand. For sale In Beaver. Colo., by Hamilton 4 Xendrick. OOC-OIS Seventeenth street; Louthan & Jackson Book & Stationery Co., Fifteenth and Lawrence streets; A Series, Sixteenth and Curtis s treats. I TESTERDAT'S "WEATHER Maximum tem perature. 74; minimum temperature, US; pre clpltatlon. .01 of an Inch. TODAY'S WEATHER Partly cloudy and oc casionally threatening; westerly -winds. tFORTLAXD, SATURDAY, AUGUST 22. WHERE TRAINING IS MOST NEEDED We have no complaint to make against Mr. Pulitzer's endowment of a college of Journalism. All that such "ventures get from the newspaper pro fession generally is the merry ha-ha, which Is. on the whole, unjustifiable. There is no more reason why the wrlt- lngbusiness cannot be taught in classes by experts than the doctoring business, and there Is no calling in which techni cal knowledge of fundamentals and of equipments involves more of a certain cast-iron collection of Isolated and In dispensable facts than the newspaper business involves. It is probable that but for deep seated prejudices against such institu tions, schools of Journalism would long ago have become recognized factors In the Industrial world. It is getting In creasingly onerous and distasteful for .heads of newspaper departments to maintain a kindergarten in connection with their already strenuous labors of getting the sheet to press. Somebody can Just as well impart the rudiments of the work to those who can pay him for doing so. Many persons are excel lently qualified to train novices, -who are wofully lacking in results at work. just as pulpit failures make acceptable theological nrofessors. doctors and lawyers do not take In assistants with out previous professional training at special schools, and publishers may at length get tired of doing it Classes In journalism have been conducted to ad vantage In the University of Oregon, and we understand that the undertak ing has been so approved by experience that it will be continued. While Mr. Pulitzer's experiment Is unexceptionable in its way, however. we could wish that he had elected some other field for the disposition of the large um of money he is to spend as a benefactor. There is no great need for educational facilities in the professions or allied occupations, but there Is great need for more skilled workmen in me chanlcal lines. An interesting and sig nificant feature of the Schwab tailoring trust, whose existence was subse quently denied by Mr. Schwab himself. was a school for tailors where youn men were to be educated for the busi ness without the handicaps, of the ap prentice system or the interference of unions. So many rich men have be come seized with a passion against or ganized labor that it is surprising more of them do not establish schools whence full-fledged engineers and me chanics of .all sorts can be supplied to the industrial world, now zealously guarded from natural accessions by the aDDrentlce systems Imposed by the unions. Nothing in our American life Is more disconcerting than this congestion in the -so-regarded genteel occupations, coexistent with scarcity In mechanical pursuits. While every city teems with young lawyers, doctors, bookkeepers and aspirants for newspaper work. there is a constant and insatiable de mand for first-class electricians, work ers In metals, stone and tiling, machin ists, etc. The insane Tush of our young people into overcrowded occupations and their avoidance of others that pay Infinitely more, Is a suggestive answer to the charge that everything is doml nated. by a love of money. It will be a long time, even In the "United States, before our aristocracies of birth ajid of social position will be superseded by an aristocracy of mere moneybags. Count less young men who might be getting rich as builders or engineers are starv ing to death as lawyers, and thousands of our young women sacrifice modesty and some of thorn yjrtue Itself, rather than soil their hands with honest work in a kitchen at vastly better pay. Mr. Pulitzer might have done much more toward making the world happier and better by founding an industrial school than by adding to the pressure already ominous among -the professions. TO HARNESS NOISE. The man who discovers methods whereby the waste or latent forces of nature may be harnessed and put to work is a benefactor of hte race. The latest among these to declare himself is Barringer Cox. of Indianapolis, who announces the discovery of a method of reducing the noise of a great city to a mechanical power for the propulsion of machinery. The announcement Is greet ed with derision. But what of that? Ignorance is suspicious of all new things. Is easily astounded and quick to proclaim its disbelief in things that it does not and cannot comprehend. The world abounds in devices to har ness and utilize energies that, until recent years, were literally running to waste. The energy of water, of steam, of eiecirldty. of coal, were but now relatively speaking running to waste or lyins: litest because undiscovered and unapplied. Science does not create energy. It merely applies it, and In so -doing- turns waste to use. - The noise of a great city Is but the expression of energy going riotously to waste. The Ideal machine 1& noiseless. That is to say, when defects In mech anism are corrected and lost motion is taken up and utilized, energy ceases tc escape In the form of noise. All sound that is not in harmony Is classed as noise. To utilize this expression of wasted energy to harness noise and put it to work is the problem which Mr. Barringer Cox proposes to solve, or declares he has Eolved. The details of his Invention he, for prudential reasons. has withheld from publication, but he and the few friends who share his con fidence assert that his system Is a per fect success, and may be used in small Industrial establishments, where It Is designed to furnlshpower without any cost whatever. Standing incredulous in the presence of things new, we may properly reflect that in this age nothing should be- sur prising, since very few things are Im possible. Natural forces, .that a cen tury ago ran riot In nature or slept quietly In Its seclusion, have been within the past century aroused, har nessed and turned Into channels of power, light and heat. No rational per son will declare that possibilities In these lines have been exhausted. Ener gies are still going to waste that only await the recognition and compelling device of man to become useful fordes in Industrial and mechanical' develop ment. Whether, the noises of a great city can be turned to useful account remains to be- seen. The burden of proof rests at present upon Mr. Barrin ger Cox, of Indianapolis. Here's suc cess to him. CON ANT PESO IN DISFAVOR. The Conant peso offered so promising a settlement of the vexed question of Philippine coinage that reports of dis affection towards It in the archipelago have seemed rather mystifying. Noth ing is clearer than the feasibility of the half-dollar dollar, maintained at par through exchangeability with gold, and nothing more certain than Its ultimate supersedure of the fluctuating Mexican and Asiatic coin, provided only that the government Is willing to use what gold Is necessary in the process of demon strating its purpose to stand loyally and perpetually behind the Conant coin. The exact reason for distrust we find at length set out in correspondence from Manila to the New York Times. It seems that for years it has been the practice of merchants to mark goods In United States currency, taking Mexican currency at the commercial rate of exchange, or In some cases at the legal rate. At present these prices are rapidly being changed, to a Mexi can currency basis,, and storekeepers, when asked what they are going to al low for a new dollar, reply that a peso Is a peso, and that they will take the Conant peso for Mexican currency. The exchange business is practically the monopoly of the Chinese; and it is the opinion of those who deal with them that the first thing the Chinese money changers will do with the new currency will be to try to get gold for it If they succeed, they will surely get all the gold the Government has to give them for a time, until they come to the con clusion that they can always get It If they can get it they don't want it; if they cannot get It then they want it at once. If the gold holds out it is possible that the new dollar may event ually be taken for what It professes to b worth, but in the meantime there are hard times ahead for those who have their incomes In the new cur rency. The letterevidentlyreflects the uneasi ness of such Americans in the archipel ago as are on the Government payroll; and It has no little justification in the well-known difficulty Incident upon dealings with the natives. Among the country people it has been the custom all along to fix prices in Mexican cur rency. The laborer gets so much a day Mexican. He will expect the same amount In the new currency. In this connection some facts In regard to the revenues derived from country districts are illuminating. In many sections, es pecially those remote from cities, the revenue has been paid .In Mexican cur- rency for the past few months, in spite of .the fact that the amount fixed is stated In United States currency, and that the Government rate for receiving Mexican currency has been consistently higher than the commercial rate at one time the Government rate was 2.55 for LOO, while the commercial rate was 2.43 for 1.00. This means that a man having duty to pay of one dollar. United States currency, could go In Manila to a money exchange and buy the dollar for 2.43, Mexican, while the Govern ment would take not less than 2.55. For all this, so little is known of United States currency in the provinces that in some districts absolutely all the rev enue for the past three months has been paid in Mexican currency at the Gov ernment rate. It is not likely that these people will take the Conant dollar for more than a Mexican dollar. Time and a steadfast policy of sup plying necessary gold for exchange would remedy all this, and as soon as the stability of the Conant peso should be achieved, the advantage over the present regime, with its Incessant flue tuatione, would rapidly Increase the new coin's popularity. The problem is not very hard If the Insular govern ment has full power to acquire and maintain the necessary gold; hut if re course must again be had to Congress, the outlook is Indeed precarious. There are enough Democrats, anti-imperialists and other nuisances In Congress to defer the blessings of the gold standard in the Philippines Indefinitely if they set themselves seriously about It GUARDING AGAINST FOREST FIRES. The anniversary of the great forest fires that raged with such disastrous effect in portions of Western Oregon and Washington last year Is approach lng. Conditions favorable to starting and feeding such fires are similar to those that contributed to widespread disaster last year. It Is pertinent to inquire what lesson, if any, has been learned from the calamitous experience of that time. Admittedly it is difficult to guard against the dangers of which we then had such vivid illustration. Such disasters unfortunately leave be hind them no practical suggestion by which similar occurrences may be guarded against In the future. Care lessness on the part of the hunter and camper In not thoroughly stamping out their fires was undoubtedly the caus of much of the destruction that fol lowed, but unfortunately carelessness 'of this type Is elusive and cannot b, reached by statute. In some Instances, doubtless, reckless settlers contributed to the fires by allowing their "slash Ings" to get beyond control, but this. the easiest and in fact the only method of clearing timber and brush land for agriculture, cannot be orbidden, nor-is prudence able at all times to foresee the end when the slashing is flred. The New York Press, in discussing a sim ilar situation in that state, recently said: It Is not plain to' sec what remedy. If any at all, exists for the future. The, moral Is plain, but legislation cannot reach it with any de gree cl effectiveness. The Forest. Fish and Game Commission In this state has fire war dens who do good work, but a srreat blaze once started, -with material at hani on which It may feed. Is too colossal for a few men to deal with. The most that may bo done Is to urge every man who goes Into tht woods to build fires only when necessary, to burn only" that which is needful for his purposes, and when through to see that not an ember 1 alive. The appalling leson which has been taught at the cost of some lives aad property of vast value. It Is to be hoped. will have Its effect for good oa the Individuals whose Ignorance or carelessness Is primarily responsi ble for-the ares that have ravaged forests and the farm lands in former seasons. This advice Is sound and seasonable. Every man who goes Into the woods at this time of the year should be im pressed with the responsibility that rests upon him to guard against fire by all means at his command. Con stant, intelligent vigilance Is the price of Immunity from forest fires, and the time of the year Is at hand for Its exercise. A SARTORIAL INIQUITY. The proposal of the union tailors at Chicago to enforce discriminating charges against fat men. In proportion to the cloth consumed by their gar ments, can only be looked upon with misgiving and aversion. It is Impossi ble to regard the matter as a mere sporadic outbreak, for it has all the armarks of a- concerted movement of organized labor looking to a pitiless crusade upon stout persons to the ad antage of the thin. It Is obvious that If fat men can be made to pay more for their clothes than they do now. lean men will. In accordance with the welUknown laws of compensation, av erages, etc., soon come to pay less. If this vicious principle is once es tablished In the tailoring trade, it will be but-a short time until It Is taken up by other unions and discrimination Is enforced agaist the fat all along the line. The street-cars will begin to carry passengers by weight, and un uerwear will be listed at so much a size and half size, like carpet tacks or step- ladders. Shoes, even, will be sold by the square feet of leather they contain. and theater seats will be charged for according to breadth of beam. The next thing in order would be boycotts directed at all merchants who fall to discriminate sharply against embon point, and half the fat men In town would be declared unfair. There is nothing that we know of In the theory and practice of organized labor that Is inconsistent with this discreditable and melancholy programme. The Darwinian law of natural selec tlon shows us but too plainly what the end of such a tendency, once set In operation In the human species, must be. At once a percentage of ease in survival accrues to the lean Individu als, and a corresponding disadvantage in the struggle for life Inheres In all fat individuals. As time goes on, the fat individuals must find subsistence increasingly difficult and the lean in dlvidualswlll find it increasingly easier. Fewer of the fat will survive, more of the lean. And the Influence of natural selection will 'be Inescapably and tre mendously intensified by sexual selec tlon. Fewer and fewer females will have the hardihood to brave public opinion In choosing fat males for their mates, and the enterprise and resources of lean males In the pursuit of part ners will augment in arithmetical If not geometrical ratio. Fat babies will grow few and eventuajly cease to be born, while the lean and hungry Indi viduals will live on the fat of the land. It Is needless to remind any correctly reared person how Egyptian, Stygian and also Cimmerian is the darkness which such a prospect hangs over the future of the race. The fair and fit ting character of fatness and the 'men ace of leanness are stamped on almost every page of Holy Writ and'unmls takably revealed In the Inspired utter ances of bhakespeare. The ancient prophets held out promises of fatness to the righteous and reprobated the lean with fine discernment and un equivocal severity. When the bard of Avon put the ca daverous Casslus on an immortal ped estal, he did so knowing full well how necessary for humanity was the anti thetical Ideal hinted at in "fat men who sleep o nights." Thus the conse quences of a dastardly scheme in the ranks of Chicago's journeymen tailors are seen to reach far Into the future of the race for weal or woe. Nine tailors, If they are' good ones, can make a man, It is said, but a tailor's union, if you give it rope enough, will unmake the entire human family. PORTLAND. Does any old resident recall any Au gust since 1S92 when there was so much business and building activity as Port land has experienced this month? Has anybody noticed any merchant manu facturer, contractor, mechanic or la boring man complain about anything under the sun, except perhaps the lack of facilities for taking care of profit able work and profitable business that is offered? Has anybody tried to keep track of street improvements alone the past sixty das-s? Has anybody failed to observe that, wherever he goes, from the northern limits of the city to the southern, from the hills on the east to the hills on the west, not only the new buildings erected to supply immediate wants, 'but a certain buoyant confl dent aggressive spirit a well-defined determination to push Portland to the front without in any sense booming the town? Has any one observed that the hammer of the knocker has been relegated to the scrap heap, and that the feeble voice of the croaker has been drowned by the hum of industry? Any way you look at it Is there anything the matter with Portland? Three cities are In the race for second place in commercial supremacy of the Pacific Coast Neither of them is within reaching distance of San Fran Cisco, and neither of them Is likely to overtake her. Discovery of gokl In Alaska and the efforts of two transcon tlnental railroads have done much for Seattle, whose population Is close to Portland's. Los Angeles sells $20,000. 00 worth of climate every Winter to rich and well-to-do Eastern visitors, and leads every rival for second place so far as population is concerned. Re turns from the climate harvest are likely to be steady for many Winters to come, but the Southern California city can lay hold of only a small dis tributive territory, and her ocean com merce will cut small figure In the Pa cific trade. Meanwhile, Portland, with- out adventitious aid, but relying on her own energy and on the fruitfulness of the great Valley of the Columbia and the smaller but not less fruitful val leys of Western Oregon, keeps con stantly to the fore. In ;commercial im portance Portland is easily two to Se attle's one. and there Is small probabil ity that the relative positions will be changed in the next ten years. Referring to the rather gauzy asser tions of certain newspapers that Mr. Rockefeller is engaged in operations' similar to those employed thirty years ago by Gould, and Fisk, for the purpose of bringing about a panic and forcing President Roosevelt to recommend a, repeal of the anti-trust legislation of the last Congress, the Springfield Re publican says: "Mr. Rockefeller could not today employ the Gould-Flsk de- ice for bringing about a panic. But he does not need It He" Is a very ex tensive owner, as Gould and Fisk were not at that time, of readily marketable properties, and by the simple method ot elllng securities for cash and locking up the money he could spread wreck and ruin through Wall street and the country In short order, and without disposing of more than a third or a quarter of his reputed possessions. We are asked to believe that he is engaged with deliberation in such a destructive project for the furtherance of his own power, already much too great for any man to be possessed of. If he is, he ought to be locked up or divested of his power; and If his object-ls to force the repeal of a law he does not like, then all the more should that law be re tained and supplemented by another which would be far less to his liking." The mere suspicion that great capital ists like Rockefeller and his associates have been engaged In the use of their combined wealth for the promotion of a panic would, as the St Paul Pioneer Press further suggests. Induce such a frame of mind in Congress, at its ap proaching session, as would insure a general support for any new steps which President Roosevelt might pro pose In furtherance of' his "step-by-step" policy of bringing all corpora tions and combines under National con trol. And no one knows it better than Mr. Rockefeller. There seems to be no place for the habitual taker of morphine but the county or city prison. Really as un able as are lepers to take care of them selves, these self-wrecked creatures, men or women, represent the lowest specimens of the human race, morally. while their physical condition is only less disgusting than that of lepers be cause the malady from which they suf fer is not a germ disease and therefore not contagious. The sufferings of so called opium fiends when locked up and deprived of the drug that has been their moral and physical undoing is in tense and pitiful to behold, Yet the only protection for themselves, and to a certain extent for society, from, the habit that makes of them liars, thieves and imbeciles, and at times renders them yiolently Insane, Is the lockup, with Its strict regime of "no mor phine." There are a number of these wretched wrecks of humanity whose names have long been familiar to the citizens of Portland through their petty thieving, periodical arrest and regular commitment to Jail. Disgust and pity struggle or the mastery when these names appear In print .coupled with wonder at the amount of mor phine that It takes to deprive these worse than useless creature of life, and a pious wish that the seemingly Impos sible "overdose" would end the hope less struggle. That responsible aggregation of thrift and Industry represented by tax payers and taxes, known as "the county," is to be called jupon to show cause why It should not reimburse cer tain persons who, upon a recent occa sion, idly and Imprudently crowded upon a sidewalk that formed part of the approach to Morrison-street bridge for the purpose of sightseeing, for cer tain bruises and fractures sustained through the collapse of the walk from overweight It will doubtless devolve upon these persons to show that, they were attempting to pass over the bridge, and were not gathered upon a certain portion of It for sightseeing purposes, if they would convince a Jin-y of taxpayers that they and those who stand with them on the county tax-roll should be held for the "damages" ac cruing from the collapse of the side walk. The lesson of personal respon sibility is one of which the general public stands greatly In need at the present time. A capital chance to pre sent It and apply it will follow the filing of suits against "the county" for "Injuries that were the result of per sonal carelessness or imprudence. It may be hoped that the opportunity will be improved by the prompt rejection of these claims. Among the grounds of complaint set up by those who are seeking damages for the accident at Morrison-street bridge we find the allegation that the authorities did not use proper means to prevent the accumulation and con gestion of the crowd. These persons evidently think It Is no business or duty ot their own to exercise common prudence even for their own safety. Multnomah County should be the plaintiff. It should sue these people for piling on the bridge for gratification of an idle curiosity, and breaking it down. General John C. Black, who has Just been elected commander of the G. A. R., was Colonel of the Thirty-seventh Illinois Volunteer Infantry at the fa mous battle of Fort Donelson, where he was very severely wounded while lead ing his regiment against the enemy's works. He was Commissioner of Pen sions in President Cleveland's first term. He Is a man of energy, courage and ability; a Gold Democrat In poll tics, and a vigorous campaign-speaker. He is a lawyer by profession, and a resident of Chicago. Kicking: In the Orient Shanghai Times. It will please the rapidly Increasing num ber of the Times readers this morning to be apprised by Reuter's that the relations between Turkey and Bulgaria are causing a certain amount of anxiety. If not too presumptuous on our part we should like to ask Reuter's if they ever heard " of Columbus, or better, the United States? We have the formation of the Hungarian Cabinet and there Isn't an Hungarian reader of English-speaking papers lit China. We have the Bulgarian situation, the strike In Holland, the Warn poodle of Dusmat from Reuter's. But not a word will this service give us about the United States. Yet It calls Itself a news service. Pursued by Fame. Walla Walla Argus. It Is reported that Miss Chapman, of Dixie, who created such a sensation last Winter by going into a protracted trance. now has appendicitis. SPIRIT OF THE NORTHWEST PRESS A Legacy of Trouble Astoria Astorlan. President Roosevelt Is now getting even -with hi3 former Secretary. Cortelyou. He has referred the sailor boarding-house. business of the Pacific Coast to Cortel you's department Lord High. EverythlHtr Else. Marshfleld Moll. Mayor Norton had his coat oft yester day and was helping put a. plank In the Fourth-street bridge. ' Later It develops that Mr. Norton was acting in his "capacity of road supervisor, not as Mayor, and was .fixing the bridge as part of the county road, and not as a street: so the dlginlty of the Mayoral ti ls still safe. "Comparatively" Hobrb Is Good. Newberg Graphic After giving the machines a two weeks' trial. Drs. Uttiefleld and Larkin sent their automobiles back to Portland on Tuesday, to "revert to the original owners." They found that on the dusty and comparative ly rough roads of this section the ma chines were not practicable. All the rest of us who were 'expecting" soon to be roll ing around In automobiles will profit by the experience which the doctors have paid for, and In the meantime we will all bo found zealously contending for better highways. President ana Systematic Effort. Spokane Chronicle. ' Tho way to gain real results from agita tion for National irrigation is not to have an enthusiastic meeting once in five years and then forget about it The way to win is to organlzo and begin work that Is not only systematic but persistent Tho West, gaining in wealth and population, though it Is without asking much assistance from tho National Government cannot afford to neglect this important demand for irri gation laws and sufficient appropriations to start the great work of reclaiming tho desert lands. If the people of the West hesitato to help themselves, who can bo expected to help thm? Want ItecoRiiltlon. Portland New Age. The discussion ot the advisability of se lecting a colored representative from this county for a place on the next Republican Legislative ticket is assuming definite form. The friends of James N. FullHove, a popular and progressive business man of this city, are urging him to permit his name to be used as a candidate for the nomination for that place. Mr. Fullilove is an able and popular man and would do creditable service for the county and tho state. The contention is that the colored population of this county, which Is grow ing rapidly In number and in business Im portance, should be represented In the Legislature of the state. This contention is Just Cloud With Silver Llnlnp. Prlnevillo Journal. Portland capitalists want their dollars for Investment ear-marked, and, like little Bo-Peep's sheep, must return wagging their tails behind them, with about four new dollars for every one Invested. That's Portland. If she wants even a slice of Eastern Oregon's trade, she'll have to move. This trade is constantly being dl verted to San Francisco, and in the mean time Portland is daily losing prestige. What's the reason? The reason is trace able to one thing, and that's criminal slowness. There's more than enough money lying Idle In Portland's coffers to build a direct road from that city across tho state, and the reason she don't uso it, for that purpose is because they are moss backs. After all, it may be their loss and our gain, who knows? Strcnnons Journalism in Alaska. Juneau, Alaska. Dispatch. FRIDAT. Mrs. Williams, a woman of the under world, died last night from tho results ot blood poison. Her husband is a worth less ex-prizefighter, who should be on city woodpile. SATURDAY. A big, burley ex-prlzeflghter, supposed to be Kid Williams, slipped up behind the editor of the Dispatch at the noon hou: today and struck him a violent blow in the temple. The big, cowardly cur was then able to severely injure tile dazed victim of his assault before the Marshal arrested him. The matter culminated from the result ot an article In yesterday's Dispatch Had tho editor of the Dispatch not been taken unawares and almost put out by tho blow, Williams would have got the threshing he deserved. As it was, Williams did not escape with out his share of punishment and the matter is not settled. Able Tribute to n Fantlllnr Type. Seaside Sentinel. The people coming here represent to large extent the Intelligence and culture and best families of the country- There arc also a few bipeds of the male per suasion that are Imbued with tho .idea that they are tho only pebbles on the beach. They come down Saturday -night to remain over Sunday. They load up on beer and Imagine that they are the wild man from Borneo. They make the night hideous with bacchanalian revelry, smut ty talk, and pollute tho atmosphere with profanity. As a rule they are the sons of wealthy families of Portland, and imagine that protects them in their inalienable rights to make fools of themselves. They are but brainless -dudes, the cube root of vacuum, the net product of nothing. Such kids are crosses between Incipient insanity and a well-developed case of confluent idiocy, and utterly beneath the notice of respectable people. They havi as much sense as the bray of an asmathic mule, and as much stability as a bad odor in a chlnook gale. They are perfect maelstroms ot depravity, tho avatar of Impudence, the incarnation of a'sslnlty. cosspools whose malodor spreads con tagion like the rank breath of a Gila monster or the shade of an Upas tree. jackass loves to hear himself bray, no matter bow much the public may be an noyed. There are certain plagues and pestilences which the public, from time to time, arc afflicted with, and there Is only one remedy for the disease the ab sorption of the carcass Into space. It would be better to be In Hell and breathe the air laden with odors of burning brim stone and scorched flesh, than to live in the same atmosphere with the conceited Portland idiot who persists in disturbing the people of Seaside with their whooping and yelling. The Keyboard. William Watson. Five and thirty black slaves. Half a hundred white. All their duty but to sing For their Queen's delight. Now with throats of thunder. Now with dulcet Hps, While she rules them royally With her flnger-tlpst When she quits her palace. All the slaves are dumb Dumb yJth dolour till the Queen . BacJcHo' court is come: Dumb thethroats of thunder. Dumb the -dulcet Hps, Lacking all the sovereignty' Of her finger-tips. Dusky slaves and pallid. Hboa slaves and white. "When the Queen was on her throne. How you sang tonight! Ah, the throats of thunder! - Ah, the dulcet Hps! " Ah, the gracious tyrannies Other flnger-Upa! f Silent, silent, silent - All your voices now; Was It then her life alone Did your life endow? "Waken, throats of thunder: Waken, dulcet Hps! Touched to immortality By her Cager-Ups. SOME" FACTS ABOUT THE POPES i '- Kansas City Star. It Is said that soon after his election Leo XIII read Macaulay's brilliant cs3ay on Ranko's "History of the Popes." .tie was especially Impressed with this famous passage: The republic of "Venice was modem when compared -with the papacy, and the republic of Venice Is gone and the Papacy remains. The papacy remains, not a mere antique, but full of life and useful visor. ... Nor do we see any sign that the term of lone dominion U aptroachlnir she saw the commencement of all the governments and of all the ecclesiastical establishments that now exist In 'the world, and we feel no assurance that she Is not destined to see the end of them alL She may 111 exist In undiminished vUor when some traveler from New Zealand shall, la the midst of a vast solitude, take his stand on a broken arch of London bridge to sketch the ruins of St. Paul's. It is difficult to conceive how anyone can review the history of the papacy or glance over the long list of popes without sharing Macaulay's veneration. The Ho henzollerns trace their ancentry back to Count Thassllo, of Zollern, one of Charle magne's Generals, and Charlemagne was .crowned Emperor of the Romans by Pope Leo III, who counted himself of the 39th to occupy the chair of St Peter. Tho house ot the Grand Dukes of Meck lenburg asserts itself to be the oldest reigning family In Europe, It goes back 25 generations. But PIux X Is counted the 2S4th bishop of Rome. The beginnings of the papacy aro ob scured in tradition. The number of popes and the order and date of accession up to the first part of the third century are known only approximately. In the "Lives of the Popes," written 30 years ago ana oubllshed with ecclesiastical sanction, the Chevalier Artaud de Montor follows tno chronology of the DIarlo, tho official al manac, which makes Pius IX the 239th pontiff. The same chronology Is quoted approvingly by Archbishop Keano as that ot Gams. According to tnis tne tentn Pius would be No. 261. Hoffman's "Offi cial Directory." however, giving the list according to Gerarchla Cattollca. makes Leo XIII the 263d bishop of Rome, and this seems to be the officially accepted chronology at present. As the traditional date of St Peter's ac cession Is 42 A. D.. the average length of the pontificate has been only seven years and 2S days. It Is easy to see. therefore, why each pope should be warned at his coronation that he would not see tho ears ascribed to Peter. The reign of Plus IX with Its 32 years Is tho longest In his tory. Leo XIII comes second with his 23 years and nearly five months. In the ISth century Pius VI reigned nearly ears. These popes, however, did not at tain the greatest age recorded. There Is a tradition without sufficient historical proof that Pope Agatho died in GS2 at the age of 107 years. Gregory IX, who died In 1241, was at least 54 years old, and ac cording to some accounts was 99. Leo XHI was 93 and Plus IX was SO at the tlma of his death. The shortness ot the average pontificate Is due to the fact that most of the noDes have been well on In years when elected. Death has usually terminated the papal reign, though a few pontiffs have re signed. Stephen II lived only three days after his election. Urban VII 13 days, Celestlne Fvr IS days and Pius III 26 days. In the year S9S three popes were elected in rapid succession. Romanus lived only four months and Theodore II 20 days. The third was John IX, who survived for two years. The last three pontificates, however, wore unusually lonsr. Altogether. Gregory XVI. Pius IX and Leo XIII reigned for 72 years THE BRITISH" WAY. Philadelphia Bulletin. A Boston lady, who is about to visit England, has received from a. member of the British aristocracy a list of nearly a hundred names of famous persons and places, with their proper pronunciation. which is entirely foreign to their spelling. but being sanctioned by generations of usage- is obligating upon all who asplro to mingle in good English society. In fact, not to know how to pronounce these names according to the conventional standards is a sin of Ignorance, not to be winked at by any educated Englishman or woman of the upper classes. Our British cousins are very severe critics of American pronunciation, but really we haven't anything In this line that will compare with the fashionable -British slaughter ot Innocent words whose venerable antiquity and 'frequent uso should entitle them to a better fate. Among some of the most familiar, though not most flagrant examples of British mispronunciation wo select the following: Spell. Pronounce. Acheson Akkerson Abergavenny Abergenny li&ue Bolf Beauchamp Beecham Bohun Boon ,Bulwer Buller unoimonaeiey Chumlee Cowper Cooper Colquhoun Cohoon Derby JJarby FlUgerald Fltzjarl Levlson Gower. Leeson Gore O'Shaughnessy O'Shocknessy Pall Mall ...Pell Mell Ponsonby Punsunby Ruthven Ruffe n St. John Slnjun St. Ledger Slnliger Studley Stewdlee Talbot Torbut Urquhart Urkot Whalley Wblley It is to be hoped that by tho time she reaches British soil the Boston visitor will be able to pronounce these names so glibly ana correctly as not to aisgraco herself and her English society friends.. Et tu, Brynn. Kansas City Star. What's the use of anything, anyhow since. Commoner Bryan has paid 51200 for a team of chestnut carriage horses and In gold, too? Alas, there aro no more tribunes ot the "plain people" left They all go the same way Charley Towne. Governor Hogg, Senator Pettlgrew, Jerry Simpson and now Bryan. Who is left to mourn for the down trodden masses? Not one! Oh, apostasy, thy name is Populism! Now, whatever extenuation there may have been In the &Q0 heifer nurtured by Farmer Bryan on his own estate, there can be no palliation possible In the case of the chestnut team. There might have been just the least shade of mitigation had the horses been paid for in silver. But where the fall is complete and Irre trievable why dwell upon a neglected and trivial detail that might have served as a modification? Since all' is lost, even honor, it were as well, perhaps, "to naught extenuate" and to let the tall go with the hiae. Yearn In K.i. Wlnthrop Packard In Life.' Break; break, break. On thy cold gray stones, O sea, "While the things I want but never can get Speak out In thy plaint to me. Oh. well for tho country lass That she shoots the chutes with a yell. And well for the dry good3 clerk That he bathes In the heavlne swell; And the stately millionaire Walks down the sands with a smile; But show, oh, show me a railway car "With shade on both sides of the aisle! Up the beach in a great white tent There are preacher men today. And people stirred by the earnest word Bow down their heads and pray. And It's well for they hope to receive Something they ought or ought not to. But why can't I have an automobile That will aut, and quit when It ought to? There's wind and the shlnlnc sun And the beautiful bright blue bay, While band In hand on the shining sand Contiguous lovers stray. I search In vain for the founts ot joy 'That fount as they bill and coo, For I'm looking today for a fountain pen That will fount when I want It to. Oh. well that the fisherman mourns For the lobsters that are no morel He -should set lobster pots on the proper spots. For there's lobsters enough on shore; Xet the things we want but never can get Make aU the prospect bleak. And rm yearning, in vain, for a lost golf ball That will answer "Here, sir," when I speak. X0TB- AND COMMENT. Pipe up, Boreas. "Birds in their little nests .agree" even Eagles. Hughes, the "Port ot Portland's stormy petrel. , About the only thing that passed up the Astoria regatta was the tide. When an incendiary sets a house ablaze he may be described as flrebughouse. Tacoma has tho Sellwood street-car robber, which indicates that sho sleeps with one eye open. Japanese war stories have ceased to In terest the public Even Corbett does something besides talk. So tho county prisoners like work. They should bo turned loose in the nope that their disease Is catching. Tho battleship Missouri has been launched. Here's hoping she won't suffer as much damage as the state from driftwood." A Seattle bank clerk has been arrested for holding up a lodging-house. Tho bank president, however, doe3 not indorse this check on crime. Mr. Bonney, of Colton. eats ten eggs a day. Several companies playing one night stands are about to present him with a testimonial. Strange that the crew of a revenue cut ter at the yacht races should notlco such a little thing as a heavy gun taking charge on the lower deck. St Louis policemen are now looking for a Deputy Constable that "13 known to have a criminal record." Excellent man to select for the Job ho held. Quay says he is of tho opinion that Pennsylvania will support Roosevelt. It's Just Quay's regard for tho state's feel ings that leads him to put It that way. Turkey has yielded." Tho troublo with Turkey Is that she Is as yielding as a sponge squeezed dry of revolution one day, sho has sucked it all up again tho next Emperor William Is to design a flag for the peace congress. An appropriate symbol would be a dove finding no rest ing place for the sole of Its foot, except a gun or a bayonet. A Nebraskan has married his stepmoth er. Answers to the following question will be published In this column: If the couple has a child, what relation will it be to Its mother's first husband? When the Multnomah carnival begins It is up to the police to leave tho crooks undisturbed, so that the country papers may bo able to say that there are two carnivals going on In Portland. A prisoner in Chicago, arrested for dis orderly conduct, prayed volubly In court Fined 5, he attributed the lightness of his penalty to his prayer. If he had only taKen to praying earlier in the game, he might have escaped being disorderly. Yet another death In a bathtub; this time at Salt Lake. Fair play, however, compels us to confess that It was' hardly the fault of the tub, as the man com mitted suicldo by holding the tap in his mouth until choked by the flow of water. Rev. Charles E. Sheldon, examiner in humorous journalism for the Pulitzer Col lege ot Journalism, was opening the nlne- hundred-and-slxty-seventh set of answers to the problem, "Write a humorous para graph of topical interest" He glanced at the last example. "Every ono the same," he said. "Full marks for each pupil." And the paragraph? Of course. It was: "There's many a slip between the cup and the Lipton." The Lout Xellle May. (A .true Incident of the Pacific.) From the port on Puget Sea, In the year of eighty-three. Tho bark Nellie May sailed away. 'Twas December ot the year. And the winds were wild and drear. And the waves were darkly rolling on the bay. Oh, the captain and the crew And the sea-port people knew That danger on the vessel's pathway lay. But the orders were to sail. And no pleadings could avail. So the fated Nellie May sailed away Many a sister, wife or mother Of some husband, son or brother. For safety of her loved one did pray; And the harbor bell was tolling And the whltecap-breakers rolling "When the good ship Nellie May sailed away. Oh, she never more returned. And her fate Is yet unlearned. Though many a weary year has passed away. None may solve the mystery Ot the dark December sea. And the lest, tempest tossed Nellie May. But In the wild December, On that day they still remember. The dwellers Dy that sea-port often say That a ship In phantom form Bides upon the ocean storm. And Is known as the lost Nellie May. C. E. EDDY. PLEASANTRIES OF PARAGRAPHERS Stella But aren't you afraid of going out beyond your depth? Bella Oh, no; all the men around here think. I'm an heiress. Puck. Ostend Paw, why Is it they put most gas meters In the cellar? Paw Because, my son, few gas meters are on the leveL PhUadelphla Record. "Dinner's ready, Silas." "I'll wait till that Summer boarder gits through eatln'. It spoils my appetite to see a man eat a pie with a fork." New York Journal. "Ef some young men," said Uncle Eben, "was as Industrious addln' up Aggers In col umns as iey Is gettln 'em In rows on policy slips, I reckons dey'd be savin' money." Washington Star. Singleton Hollo. Doublcday! You twins look so much alike I never can tell you apart. "Who are you. yourself or your brother? Doubleday Neither. I am my brother's brother. Boston Transcript. Sailor Now, that you've sketched the battle ship on my arm. why don't you add the turret and big gun? Tattoo Artist Because it Is against the law to draw a gun on a man round here. Philadelphia Press. He If ycu loved me, you would marry me while I am poor. She You do me Injustice. I love you too much to have your precious health risked by my cooking. Walt until you can afford to keep servants. New Yorker. "Pardon roe." said the first stranger, "but may I ask what lake that Is?" "Certainly, sir," replied stranger No. 2. "Well, what lake is It?" queried the party ot the first pre lude. "I don't know," was the answer. Chi cago News. Mrs. Goodman One question, before I give you this money: Do you drink beer? Mumpsy Mullins Do I drink it? Why, lady, you cer tainly don't s'pose I squirt It Into me arm wid a s'ringe? Dere's no oder way but to drink it. Kansas City Journal. "This," said the young benedict, who was just realizing tliat he had caught a Tartar, "Is what I call real married life." I'm glad you're satisfied with something." she snapped. "Oh! I'm not. I merely meant to inform you that It is not ideal." Philadelphia Ledger. "So you're a veteran of the Rebellion," said the young man, admiringly. "The war clouds were uuck aooui you wueu juu sre a juuiu, weren't they?" "Yes," replied the veteran as. he Indorsed the pension voucher he wished to have cashed, "but they all had their silver lining." Philadelphia Press.