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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 30, 2017)
6A FEATURES Parents worry about son Dear Annie: We have three the house at least once a day. I am children, ages 29, 27 and 23. The afraid he is ruining his life. He has youngest is a senior at a Midwest- one more semester left and needs ern university. We had our chil- to realize the importance of start- dren rather late in life; I’m 66, and ing a career and dedicating a large my wife is 60. We have been for- portion of his energy to it ver- tunate and been able to provide a sus partying all the time. He has no desire to change his nice life for all of them. activities. What can we We have had issues DEAR do? — At Our Wits’ End with the youngest for 10 ANNIE Dear Wits: As coun- years, mostly centered terintuitive as it sounds, on drugs. He waw sev- the sooner you let go the eral counselors, but he sooner he’ll realize for would snow all of them himself that it’s time to to the point that they stop partying. The more would feel sorry for him. vocal you are in trying It got so bad we sent him Lane to change your son the to military school in his Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. more he’ll stay the same. junior year of high school That said, when he’s at (which all of us, includ- your home, he should respect ing him, agree saved his life). Though he is much better than your rules. No bringing marijuana he was, he still continues to use into the house. Dear Annie: Your mailbox pot daily. He and I vehemently disagree over the harmfulness/ must be overflowing with rebut- value of pot, its addictiveness, its tals from those of us familiar with long-term effects and his reasons addiction. I have not had a drop for using it. He says pot helps him of alcohol for over 40 years, grad- unwind and handle stress. I’m not uated from the Rutgers Center of sure he really knows what stress Alcohol Studies and worked in the field of addiction. is. The letter from “Concerned When he comes home on school breaks, he knows better Parents” states that their son was than to smoke in the house, but he addicted to pain meds after sur- always finds an excuse to leave gery. It was probably drugs, not alcohol, but he claims it is the rea- son for his alcohol addiction. The parents write that they are letting the son’s addiction ruin their social life because they do not serve alcohol to guests in the home to protect him from tempta- tion. That is naïve and unrealistic. After all, there are bars on every block and alcohol in most homes. The parents need education and should attend Al-Anon meet- ings to understand that recov- ery from alcohol abuse requires not changes in others’ lives but changes in the addict’s life. It is the son’s responsibility to control his own priorities, life choices and sobriety. Alcoholics Anonymous can offer help for him. — Someone Who Knows Better Dear Someone: Thank you for your letter. My intention was not to hold the parents totally responsible for their son’s sobri- ety but to encourage them to pro- vide the best conditions for him. However, I realized I missed the mark. They shouldn’t revolve their lives around his addiction. I second your Al-Anon recommen- dation, and I encourage any read- ers in similar situations to learn more at http://www.al-anon.org. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, JANUARY 30, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). History is more art than science. Like magnetic audiotape, memories get a little more corrupted every time they are recalled. As for today’s story, expect that its emotional truth might be different from its factual truth. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). “Fake it till you make it” is one approach. Then there’s the one where you’re at peace with being out of your element. A little lost, you’re confident you’ll work it out and the others will want to help you do that. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). The gurus sug- gest that the path to enlightenment involves the elimination of opinion. That would be taking it to extremes today, though you might temper your opinions with a fair dose of open-mindedness. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You don’t need to get more things done. You need to get important things done. What’s going to feed the bottom line? What’s going to matter most at the end of the day? What’s going to make you smile? GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re a hard worker, and you’ll play even harder if you can find the time to do it. If you can’t, then make the time. Because it’s what you do during off hours that will have the most impact. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ll dig in your heels today. You set your own groove and you’ll move when you’re ready. Even when you feel the hand of fate at your back, you won’t budge. No one, not even destiny, can rush you. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). People who are never wrong are universally suspected, and no one likes a know-it-all. It’s why you go the route of curiosity and experimentation and possess a cavalier attitude about correctness in general today. It’s simply more fun that way. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Like an actor who is cast in an unlikely role, you have some stretching to do. Is this an honor, a challenge or a pain? Likely all three will fit in someway before the show is over. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Go on and argue for your side. You’ll be respected for having an opinion — and a spine. Keep it good-natured and light and no one will be offended, even if they disagree. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Like the goat that is your symbol, you’re willing to climb over the obstacles in your path. If you have to do that every time you pass, though, you’ll waste a lot of energy. Remove the obstacles instead. Clear the road. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The compe- tition for your attention today is rather fierce. So many offers will be made to you — mostly trivial and best passed up. But one offer will be interesting, possibly even vital. Your instincts will help you discern. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Don’t do it be- cause it’s a “good opportunity.” You could fritter away your energy trying to take advantage of all the “good opportunities.” Unless this one deeply inspires you, it’s not good enough. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 31). Your communication skills and style evolve to a new high this year, and this touches all you do in a favorable way. Clear and patient relating will pull people close to you. You’ll stash extra mon- ey in March until a worthy investment comes along that will allow you to double it. June ex- pands your family. Leo and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 7, 30, 5, 28 and 44.