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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 12, 2017)
6A FEATURES Is this an abusive streak? Dear Annie: I have a friend that she didn’t want to hurt my I’ve known for at least 15 years. feelings. I asked myself and my A month ago, I invited her and her kids, “Am I really abusive?” Both of my kids told me that husband for dinner. When both of my kids told me they didn’t want I am a little stricter than the aver- her over, I couldn’t believe it. I age parent and have a tendency asked why. I told them that she’s to scream a lot, but not more than most parents when they’re always been good to them DEAR angry about what the kids and she’d love to see them, did or did not do. especially my son, who ANNIE I’m still going to have has been away at college. dinner with this woman. My son told me she After dinner, the children isn’t really my friend, that will probably take off and she only pretends she is go to their rooms, as they because she thinks I am truly don’t want anything an abusive parent and she to do with her anymore. I feels sorry for my kids. Lane thought I would confront Apparently, she has felt Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. her after dinner and give this way for years, ever her a chance to explain since my daughter was having a birthday party and I why she has tried to turn my chil- wouldn’t let her have cake because dren against me. I really did think she wouldn’t eat her dinner. He she was my friend for so many also relayed her thought that I am years. Do you think this is the right a horrible parent because I won’t play games with my kids. I have course of action? — Hurt and a really bad fear of playing games Confused in Kansas Dear Hurt: Yes, talk to your with people, which is no differ- ent from being scared of snakes or friend — but think of it as a con- versation rather than a confron- being claustrophobic. I asked my daughter whether tation; otherwise, you’re setting this is the reason she doesn’t want yourself up for a hostile interac- this woman over, and she said yes. tion. Give her a chance to explain She said the only reason she did herself. There’s a lot to be said for not tell me about this sooner was hearing it from the source. You might want to go for a walk or out for coffee, to be in a neutral space and away from the kids. And I would suggest look- ing inward. Is it possible you do raise your voice too loudly and too often? I know we all lose our cool from time to time, but there are better ways to get one’s point across than yelling. Dear Annie: In response to “Grieving for Snoopy,” you printed “The Rainbow Bridge,” a poem by Steve and Diane Bodofsky. I know that the poem was written with good intentions, but it never did a thing for me. The best advice to give a grieving pet owner, in my opinion, is to suggest that when she’s ready, she should go find that special dog or cat waiting at a local animal shelter. It won’t be “the same,” but it will be an individual with a unique, lov- able nature. I still miss my old dog from way back when, but I no lon- ger grieve. Five years ago, we reluctantly took care of a kitten. It was “just for a while” because we didn’t want a cat. Now he’s the heart of our family, the mellowest of fel- lows. As Mark Twain said, a house is not a home without a cat. Or a dog. — Kay from New Paltz, N.Y. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JANUARY 12, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Who has time to judge other people? Judges. Well, they’re getting paid for it. Anyone who judges but isn’t getting paid for it simply doesn’t have enough excitement to draw the focus else- where. dynamic plays out today. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Better to take one piece of good advice and apply it to your life than to listen to 60 adages and apply none. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). No opportunity can be written off today. Big and small, seize them all! Be on the lookout for opportunities that don’t really seem like they are. Those are the ones to catch. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Bottom line: If you are worried about rejection, then your fear is stronger than your desire. It’s not a good place to come from in business, and it’s a disastrous position if pleasure is your aim. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The current problems are not interrupting your joy; in fact, they are a nice big slice of your joy. Somewhere in you, you know that you can overcome this, and overcome it you will. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your mind can be crueler to you than any person has ever been. Do not let negative thinking keep you from taking an exciting risk. If you desire it, you can break your mental chains. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You might know what the expectation would typically be in a given situation, but since there are indi- viduals involved whose minds you can’t read, you don’t know what the expectation actually is. So, you may as well suit yourself. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Remember when you went from one serious relationship straight into another and missed out on all that fun? What you learned from that will inform your weekend. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The one with the biggest picture wins every time. Today’s win: The side benefits will outweigh the real ones. This will happen because you’re playing a larger game than the one at the table you’re sitting around. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Everyone on the earth’s face wants to feel better, but each will go about it in different ways. Today, your tolerance for another person’s methods will make both of your lives easier. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Just as there are spaces in your home that you don’t use, there are spaces in your psyche that go un- touched — that is, until certain people come along. You’ll enjoy how the related emotional FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). People like the idea of winging things spontaneously, because that feels fun in the mind. But when it translates to real life, well, it could go a lot of ways. And it will. It can’t hurt to also have a plan in your back pocket. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 13). It’s not enough for you to have a good experi- ence, because you’re looking for epic. You’ll get that, too, especially when you make an effort in March (and then again with a ripe opportunity of June). Hard workers inspire you to work even harder in the hot months. You’ll sock away money to focus on an August opportunity. Taurus and Gemini adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 7, 30, 20, 12 and 1.