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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (July 7, 2016)
FEATURES 6A Struggling with loud mouth Dear Annie: I’m a loud talker, apparently. I still don’t believe I’m that loud, but I recently moved to a new city and started a new job, and the issue keeps coming up. My land- lord has called me twice to yell at me about how others in my building sent her noise complaints. I wasn’t having a party or anything. I had one friend over the irst time, and the second time I was just talking on the phone. I was taken aback. The land- lord really intimidated me, making threats about eviction. (She’s not the most reasonable person.) “OK,” I igured, “my neigh- bors are a little high-strung.” But then last week, at a job I just started a month ago, I had a performance review with my supervisor. One of the things he mentioned was that I need to keep my voice down. Some co-workers had complained they were having trouble focusing. The thing is, I never notice I’m talking loud. It’s just my normal voice. I managed to make it to my 30s without this being an issue. Why is this just coming up now? Maybe my new town is just full of strangely quiet people who need to loosen up. And anyway, how can someone change something as deeply ingrained as the way she speaks? I really don’t think there’s Dear Annie By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate Inc. anything I can do about it. At this point, I’m getting bitter. It feels as though everyone is out to get me. — Loudspeaker Dear Loudspeaker: It sounds as if the only thing these people are out to get is some peace and quiet. Given that this has happened at home and at work, you have to accept that the problem is you, not them. I sincerely suggest you have your ears checked. Hearing loss can start at any age. In the meantime, swallow your pride and apologize to your neigh- bors. Let them know it’s an issue you’re working on, and give them your cellphone number so they can call you — instead of the evic- tion-happy landlord — if your vol- ume is bothering them. Dear Annie: My wife has obses- sive-compulsive disorder, and it’s taking a toll on our relationship. She opened up to me about her disorder when we were dating. I noticed some behavioral tics — tap- ping, counting, blinking, etc. — but nothing major like what I imagined OCD to be like. It wasn’t until recently, a year into our marriage, that she started getting very aggressive about clean- liness in the house. She yells at me for dishes not being put back in the exact right place. I usually end up feeling defensive and lashing out in turn. You can imagine how well that works out. It spirals into a big ight. She’s too stubborn to ever apol- ogize. She would rather sleep on the couch for a few nights than admit she was wrong. We had a big ight last week, and I told her I think she needs to be in therapy. She got enraged and said I was trying to use her OCD against her to make her opinions seem illegitimate. I don’t know what to do. I am totally committed to making our marriage work, but this keeps hap- pening lately. — Rattled Husband Dear Rattled: Remember that OCD is the problem, not your wife. It bothers her just as much (or more) than it bothers you. Do encourage her to seek treatment, but approach the subject when things are calm. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JULY 7, 2016 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’re will- ing (even obligated and relieved) to tell the truth. The question is: Which truth should you tell? Not all truths are relevant. Some truths are none of their business. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Spreading good vibes is your specialty and it takes no effort at all for you to do so. You’re in the habit of saying something positive to every- one who crosses your path. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). What if you could only talk in emojis? In a way, this is the case today, because no matter what you say or hear, the emotion of it will come through at a much higher volume than the actual sound. CANCER (June 22-July 22). It feels good when you wake up in the morning and the sun comes through to blow out the men- tal cobwebs and illuminate the main shin- ing purpose on your mind. One beautiful thought carries you through. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). What others ex- pect of you is not half as important as what you expect of yourself. Surround yourself with people who want you to be your best but accept and love you still when you are at your worst. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If you don’t know the tricks and tips, you’ll wind up working twice as hard as the ones who do. Before you dive into the task, ask if there’s a way to do it better, faster, cheaper or smart- er. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The short an- swer is the best answer. Don’t feel obligat- ed to let people in on the whole story, or any part of the story you don’t want to tell. Maintain your privacy and you’ll also grow a FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE glamourous air of mystery around yourself. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). In big cities it’s not uncommon to be but a few short blocks from a rough neighborhood. Know- ing how close to danger you are will help you avoid it. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). When you look into the eyes of another fire sign (Aries, Leo or a fellow Sagittarius) you’ll see a passion you can relate to and you’ll feel an energy that matches your own. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). When it’s your turn, the conversation is stellar. But just because you have the gift of gab doesn’t mean you always want to be talking. In fact, to some degree you crave solitude. You certainly appreciate comfortable si- lence. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Make the decision now. If you postpone it, you’ll only be creating clutter and disarray for yourself. Tonight: Arrange, consolidate, sort, struc- ture, plan. These are the verbs that will make your life better. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Maybe the spark wasn’t immediate, but your connec- tion has grown over time into an undeniably solid situation. Now how can you inject this with more fun? FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (July 8). The year is marked by a sense of accomplishment as you tick off about 12 significant items from your long-term list before the year is up. This month brings an exciting trip. You’ll land a deal in August and put the money in the bank in September. November brings a big bonus. Libra and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers are 50, 44, 29, 19 and 31.