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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 20, 2015)
FEATURES 6A Photos spark family feud Dear Annie: My family is very dysfunctional because of my mother’s poor parenting and her history of playing favorites. I maintain minimal contact with my siblings. One of my sisters is very con- trolling and has always manipu- lated my mother to get what she wants. She’s my mother’s “gold- en child.” A number of years ago, this sister took all of the old family photos from my mother’s home. Mom says she only bor- rowed them. Knowing my sister, I was concerned that the family would never see those pictures again. I recently decided to ask my sister to let me have the pictures so I could go through them, make some enlargements and copies, and write down some names and dates. My adult chil- dren also have expressed interest in having access to the pictures, as they have never seen them and would like to know about their family’s history. My sister lives four hours away, and I offered to pick them up. Well, my request has start- ed World War III. My mother and sister are furious that I have asked to take the pictures to go Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar through them. They cannot give me a reason I can’t have access to the photos but consider me the bad guy in this scenario. I could back down and let my sister have her way, but I would like to have that piece of my family history to pass on to my children. Ideally, all of the siblings would have some of the originals, but my sister never learned to share. Should I con- tinue my quest for these photo- graphs, even knowing I will be treated with contempt by my mother and sister? Or should I just let it go? — Living in Dys- functional Family Land Dear Living: There may be another way to get the pictures. Your sister seems controlling and possessive, so she is unlike- ly to hand over the photographs. Instead, as nicely and sweetly as possible, ask whether you can go through them in her home. Dis- cuss scanning the ones you want into her computer and emailing them. Or you could offer to pay her to make copies. Bring your mother along so she can see that you are being reasonable and ÀH[LEOH,I6LVVD\VQRDQG\RXU mother gets angry, you will be no worse off. Dear Annie: I read the let- ter from “Ohio,” who wondered why prospective employers nev- er get back to her after job inter- views. I would suggest that after the interview, she send a thank-you letter expressing something she liked about the job and explain- ing how she’s looking forward to working for that company. I learned about that when I attended a community college. It helps. One employer was so impressed that he kept the thank- \RXQRWHLQP\¿OH²B.T. Dear B.T.: We like this idea. It can only enhance your chances of learning whether you got the job or not. It also doesn’t hurt to make a follow-up phone call or send a polite email if you haven’t heard back within a week of the interview. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, OCTOBER 20, 2015 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Your own happiness isn’t even on the list today. What’s up with that? Maybe it was just an oversight on your part. You have had your hands full taking care of your people. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Reach out, and you’ll be immediately accepted. This kind of thing doesn’t happen every day, so take advantage of the special social stardust sprinkled over today’s efforts. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’re creative, and therefore many options seem feasible to you. Luxury of choice isn’t always the best thing for your art. Self-imposed limits might force you to excel even more than you thought you could! CANCER (June 22-July 22). Today gives you the feeling that your destiny has already been determined. It has — mostly by you. You’ll get the early evidence that a wish you made long ago is coming true. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The uncontrollable situation rears its head again. Dwelling on it has the potential to conjure the nervous and frustrated energy in your belly. Sometimes the best option is to ignore what you can’t do anything about. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your friends have their opinions, none of which apply to you in the straight-to-the-heart and logical ways that would cause you to act imme- diately. You’ll ruminate and form your own opinions. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Anxious energy looks for a focus. Don’t give it one. Dissipate uneasy feelings instead through activity. Go- ing for a walk, knitting, reading, cleaning, a movie — they’re all ways to change the men- tal channel. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). On the cusp of the old you and the new you, you are as mysterious as a midnight moon. Those who are “awake” enough to admire you can’t help but wonder about the side you don’t show the world. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You could be the center of attention if you wanted to be — tempting today, for sure. But the tru- est expression of your charisma will happen when you quietly tend to your agenda. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). So the new road opening up doesn’t look like it’s go- ing to be a pleasant, paved walk in the park. No, this one is rocky with boulders, cliffs and the like. Still, you want to go. Your fortunes beckon you forward. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The ego is a gold fob watch, hypnotizing you into be- lieving that other people are your problem. While other people may help you work on the problem, the root of all conflict is inside the self. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). No need to hurry. You will get where you need to be at the perfect time regardless of what the clock says. Stay cool, patient and relaxed. You’ll make a better impression in life and in traffic. WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 21). When the signs don’t point to the way and the sun doesn’t shine on the way and there is no one around to usher you to the way, you have to invent the way. You will never be lost this year because you’re creative, strong and tenacious. You will make a remarkable difference in your own life and in the lives of others. Leo and Pisces people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 3, 25, 48, 46 and 22.