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About Clackamas County record. (Oregon City, Clackamas County, Or.) 1903-190? | View Entire Issue (June 11, 1903)
HAPPENINGS HERE IN OREGON SURVEY OP PORTAQE ROAD. Engineer Hammond WOI Om Ahead With Preliminary Work. The State Board of Portage Railway Commissioners held a conference with A. E. Hammond, the engineer recently selected to make a preliminary surrey of the route of the portage road be tween The Dalles and Celllo. Mr. Hammond was directed to proceed at once with the survey, and he will do so as soon as he can' organize a sur veying party. His work will be to examine the ground and run preliminary lines where the road will probably be con structed. He will make plats and charts showing all the topographical conditions. He expects to be ready to report to the board In about 30 days, and until thflt time no further action can be taken by the board. Lane Oats Will Be Short. The efTect of the recent hot wave Is unquestionably very dlsasterous to all growing crops In Lane county, with the possible exception of hops. Farm ers have been complaining for two weeks past about Insufficient rain for the grain crops, and this hot apell. coming at this time, will have the ef fect of cutting short the crop very ma terially. There has been insufficient moisture for nutrition of growing grains, and now the heat comes and forces maturation without any possi bility of growth. Wheat will undoubt edly be cut short 25 per cent, and oats 60 per cent already, and the damage will be even greater unless this spell of heat Is followed by a soaking rain. Will Cheapen Transportation, The preliminary survey of the elec tric rond from Baker City to the John Day country Is about finished. Tho route as laid out, commences at Bow en's ranch. not far from Baker Cltv, and extends plong Burnt River fo the di vide, and thence Into the John Day Valley. Prairie City, no doubt, will be the destination for the present. If fs considered by many that a far cheaper route could have been selected, had the survey been by way of Auburn, through the Sumpter Valley over to Burnt River. Several miles of road building could be saved as well as the road being laid out on an easier grade. Rainier and St. Helens Want Seat. Rainier and St. Helens have each filed their petitions as candidates ior the relocated county seat. There are 7(1 names on the Rainier petition and 115 names on the one field by St. Hel ens. ClPtHkanle was the first town to file a petition, having 125 names on the document. It Is now a settled fact that these three towns will be the only candidates for tho coun,ty seat loca tion to be voted on the first Monday In July. Oond for Marlon Crops. That crops have not suffered by rea son of the recent hot wenther Is declar ed by farmers, fruitgrowers and hop growers In Marlon county. Hops and fruit, except strawberries, will be Im proved bv tho heat of the last few days. While the ground Is dry in the hill country, and rain would be bene ficial, the hot weather will do no dam age unless it should continue several days. Shipping Cattle From Pendleton. Fourteen carloads of cattle will be shipped from Pendleton this month. Fred Phillips will shin nine carloads to Carstons Bros., of Seattle. He will also ship five carloads to Kenewlck. The stock brought $4.36 for good beef; iome of the best brought a little better, but not much. A month ago the price wns $4.75 and scarce at that. Now (here Is plenty of cattle to be had at $4.35. To Resume Operation. OnersHons at the Oold Bug Grizzly group of claims In the Ibex district. Eastern Oregon, will be resumed la nbout ten days. The machinery is be ing overhauled and the pumps and hoists put In shape for work. The rhaft has filled up with water which will be pumped out Immediately, and sinking of tho shaft will commence as soon as It Is free from water. Forest Fire Did No Damage. The first forest fire of the season In the Lower Columbia River district started at Brlx Bros.' camp on the Nasel River. The blaze started at the blacksmith's shop and for a time threatened the destruction of several buildings, but by hard work these were Haved, and the only damage done was tho burning over of a tract that had been logged ofT. The undergrowth In the green timber was fortunately so damp that it did not catch. Red Boy Mine Prospers. Another strike Is reported at the Red Boy mine, Sumpter district. No details can be learned at present as to the extent and value of this latest discovery, but reports are that the rich est body of ore ever opened up In the property has been cut Into. The mine management Is reticent In regard to the strike. arasshoppers at Pilot Rock. A grasshopper pest has Btruek the Pilot Rock country. Instead of passing on as was expocted at first they seem to have come to stay and the number 1b multiplying rapidly. Work on the Balsley-Elkhorn. Machinery and supplies are arriving almost dally for the Balsley-Elkhorn mine in the Baker district. A large force of men has been engaged to work on this property this season, and from now on the plan Is to rush the work of development as fast as possi ble. Work On Sumpter Water Plant. Work on the Sumpter water works will soon be commenced. The plant will be 600 horse power, and half of this will be used in the electric plant to light the city. PAY FOR VETERANS. Indian War Claimants Can Now Oct Their Money. Secretary of State Dunbar bag re ceived 98 vochers for claims of Indian War veterans and will begin Issuing warrants In payment of the same this week. It Is believed that 800 claims will be filed with the Adjutant-General, and that 750 of these will be allowed. In amounts averaging about $150 each. If this expectation shall be fulfilled the total claims allowed will amount to $112,500. The total appropriation Is $100,000. so that a deficiency of $12,500 Is probable. Under advice of the Attorney-General Secretary of State Dunbar will Issue warrants for claims In the order in which the vochers come to his office, and no in the order the claims are filed with the Adjutant-General. All claims will be paid In full as long as the money lasts, and when the appropria tion is exhausted the Secretary of State will Issue certificates of allow ance, which are recognized as legal evidence of a valid claim against the state. These certificates will not draw Interest and must await an appropria tion by some subsequent Legislature before they can be paid. Coming Event. Western Oregon division Oregon State Teachers' Association, Portland, June 24-29. Street carnival, Ashland, June 15-20. Pioneers' reunion, Brownsville, June 10-12. School election In all Oregon dis tricts, June 15. Convention of the Sunday schools of Lane county, June 10-11. Street carnival, Roseburg, June 22. Christian camp meeting, Turner, June 19. Strt carnival, Salem, June 29 to July 4. I.Iazamas leave Eugene to climb the Thre? Sisters, June 9, returning In ten days. Worms Eat Yamhill Wheat. The farmers In the vicinity of La Fayette are becoming somewhat alarm ed about their Fall-sown wheat. The Indication that there was something wrong was that the grain was turning red, and, upon closer examination a small, red worm was found In or near the first joint of the stalk. Some will cut their grain for hay, while others claim the crop will not pay for the harvesting, being so badly damaged. These fears may prove to be greatly exaggerated. Receipts ol Columbia County, The reports In the County Clerk's of fice Bhow that the receipts for May were larger than at any time In the history of Columbia county. The total amount received was $562.08, appor tioned as follows: Recording deeds and other instruments, $272.75; court fees, $228; redemptions, $61.33. High School Contract Let. The Eugene school board has let the contract to Welsh & Maner, of Sale.m, for the construction of the new High School building. The contract price Is $24,259. Women On State Pharmacy Board, Miss Kittle Walker Harbord of Sa lem, has been appointed a member of tho Stat" Bnnrd of Pharmacy, to suc ceed L. W. Mnnrtv of Pnrtlnnrt uhnos term has expired. Miss Harbord is the nrst woman to be appointed on this board. Her term of office Is five years. Contract for Remodeling Courthouse. The Clackamas County Court has awarded to Johnson & Andrews of Ore gon City, the contract for building an addition to the court house and remod eling the Interior of that building foi $3400, Oregon Cattle to North Dakota. M. K. Parsons, of Salt Lake, is ship ping 6000 head of Eastern Oregon cat tle from Ontario stockyards this week to North Dakota. This means about $125,000 distributed among cattlemen. PORTLAND MARKETS. Wheat Walla Walla, 7073cj val ley, 75o. Barley Feed, $20.00 per ton; brew ing. $21. Flour Best grades, $3.05 4.30; graham, $3.453.85. Millstuffs Bran, $23 per ton; mid dlings, $27; shorts, $23; chop, $18. Oats No. 1 white, $1.10 1.15; gray, $1 05 per cental. Hay Timothy, $2021; clover, nominal; cheat, $15 16 per ton. Potatoes Best Burpanks, 6060c per sack; ordinary, 354Sc par oental, growers' prices; Merced sweets, $3 3.50 per cental. Poultry Chickens, mixed, ll(S12c; young, 1314c; hens, 12c; turkeys, live, 16(S17c; dressed, 20ft22c; ducks, 17. 00(87.60 per dozen; geese, $6,000 6.60. Cheese Full cream, twins, lS'O 16c; Young America, 1515Kc; fact ory prices, icaic less. Butter Fancy creamery, 2022ii'c per pound; extras, 21c; dairy, 20(3 22, Sic; store, ll!c18. Eggs 16 X17o per dozen. Hops Choice, 1820c per pound. Wool Valley,12V4'17c;Eastern Or egon, 8014c; mohair, 3537c. Beef Grops, cows, 34040, per pound; steers, 65c; dressed, 8c. Veal 7J,8c. Mutton Gross, $3.50 per pound; dreesed, 7ct74c Lambs Grots, 4c per pound ; drestwl, 'He Hops Gross, C$6 '40 per pound; dressed, 78e. RAMMED AT SEA. One Hundred Dead rum Collision on the Coast of France. Marselilles, June 10. More than 100 persons perished today near Marseil les as the result of a collision between the Insulaire and the Liban passenger steamers, belonging to the Fraissenet Steamship Company. The Liban left Marseilles this morning on its regular passenger trip to Bastia, Corsica, and was run down and sunk by the Insu laire oft the Maire Islands. The collision was witnessed from the pilot-boat Blecbamp, which was about two miles distant. The Blechamp im mediately repaired to the spot to ren der assistance. The force of the colllslonn had cut a great hole in the Llban's side, and it already was making water rapidly. The captain saw that the only chance was to run the' steamer aground, and the Liban was headed full speed for the shore; but within 17 minutes after the collision ahd while still in deep water, the fore part of the steamer, plunged beneath the waves, and a few minutes later had disappeared. In the meantime the Blechamp, the steamer Balkan, also belonging to the Fraissenet Company, and other vessels had drawn near the sinking ship and were making desperate efforts to res cue those on board. The Blechamp picked up 40 persons, many of whom were at the point of exhaustion. The Balkan rescued 37 passengers and up to the present It Is known that In ad dition to the passengers, 17 of the crew were also saved. Officers of the steamer Balkan des cribe the scene just before the Liban disappeared as a terrible one. As the vessel was sinking it was inclined to such an angel that the masts struck the water, causing an eddy, making the work of rescue most difficult. A mass of human beings was clinging to the foundering vessel and uttering despair ing cries as it went down. At the same time the boilers ex ploded, intensifying the horrors. For e. few .moments the victims were seen struggling In the sea, when the waves closed over them and all was silent. Of about 200 passengers who were r.board the Liban, It was feared that half were drowned. CHILE ROW ALARMS. United States Has Ordered Warsnlps to Valparaiso. Washington, June 10. Upon the re ceipt of reports from American agents In Chile to the effect that the situa tion at Valparaiso Is unsatisfactory, owing to the recent Solciallst disturb ances there, the State Department this afternoon requested the Navy Depart ment to dispatch a ship to that point, in order that American interests may be fully protected In the event of an emergency. The Navy Department at first thought of sending the entire Pacific squadron from San Francisco, but as Rear-Admiral Glass has just brought his ships to California waters for re pairs, it was decided to order Rear Admiral Sumner, commanding the North Atlantic station, to proceed at once with his squadron now at Monte video through the Straits to Valparai so. Cable orders to this effect were sent Admiral Sumner this afternoon. Orders were also telegraphed to Ad miral Glass to be ready for sea, and In the event that Admiral Sumner's fleet Is unable to get under way at once, the Pacific squadron may be or dered to Chilean waters in its stead. Rear-Admiral Sumner's fleet consists of the protected cruiser 'Newark, flag ship; protected cruiser Detroit and the gunboats Gloucester and Montgomery. Fishermen Declare Strike. New Westminster, B. C, June 10. The Fishermen's Union for British Co lumbia has decided to proclaim a strike commencing July 1. The sliding scale offered by the canners Is unsatisfac tory. Take the average number of fish caught last season per boat, 1142, at 16c cents per fish, Is $188.33, or 162.77 per man for the season s work. The Indians wanted 18 cents, and will not fish for leBs. They have signed an agreement not to leave their homes to fish for anything less than 18 cents. The white men want 18 cents and the Japs 16 cents per fish. Plague Experiments Stopped. Berlin, June 10. In consequence of the death from plague at the Berlin tospltal of the young Vienna physician' Dr. Milan Sachs, the government has decided to Issue a decree forbidding further experiments with plague germs, the risk of spreading infection being considered more dangerous to the public health than the knowledge gained in studying a deadly microbe justifies. Rebels Were Routed. Coro, Venezuela, June 10. After two days' hard fighting the Venezuelan gov ernment troops, under the command of General Gomez, assaulted the camp of the revolutionists, commanded by Gen eral Matos, General Rlerla and General Lara, and Inflicted a complete defeat on them. The rebels were encamped near Pert regal, 20 miles from this place. The capture of General Matos is expected shortly. Costly Fire at Buffalo. Buffalo, June 10. Fire early today destroyed the Buffalo Carting A Stor age Company's plant and contents, causing a loss of $400,000. The build ing was used by the Lake Shore Rail road. It was filled with machinery and other goods stored for manufactur ing concerns of other cities. (KILL HARTS' PLAN GOVERNMENT ENGINEERS HAVE NEW --, CELILO SCHEME. They Favor Ship Canal Submerged Dam U Held to Be Impracticable Work WW Now be Held Vp Until 1904 Major Laogfltt Ordered to Make Surveys. Washington, June 10. The Board of Army Engineers that recently visited the obstructions In the Columbia River between The Dalles and Celllo, has de cided to abandon the Harts plan for opening of the rive rat that point, and in lieu thereof will prepare plans and estimates for a contluous ship ca nal from the foot of the dalles rapids to the head of Celllo Falls. The Harts plan, as has been heretofore explained, contemplated the construction of a sub merged dam in the Columbia, with a view to draining out Five Mile Rapids. The river was then to be opened around other obstructions by means of two or three short canals. The engineers, on their recent trip to Oregon, visited the scene of the pro posed improvement, and, after study Ing.the natural conditions and sur roundings, concluded, by unanimous vote, that the dam proposition was al together Impracticable. In the first place, while Captain Harts proposed constructing this dam at a point where the river is but 200 feet wide, he sup posed Its dept was only 40 or 50 feet, and so based the calculations. Major Langfltt determined, after careful soundings, that the depth was over 150 feet, and the velocity of the current so great that It would be practically impossible to place In position the ma terial for the dam. The members of the board concluded that a stream of sufficient volume and great enough current to cut a gorge 200 feet wide, and of nearly the same depth through solid rock, could not be dammed arti ficially for anything short of an unwar ranted sum, and they entertain grave aoubts whether a dam could ever be successfully built there at any cost. When they found that the keystone of Harts' plan could not be considered, and determined that even a modifica tion of the Harts plan on a practical basis, could not be carried out for the amount that has been authorized for this improvement, the board determin ed to prepare rough plans and esti mates for the construction of a con tinuous canal, extending around all the obstructions between The Dalles and Celllo, In accordance with this determina tion, the board requested authority for the making of necessary surveys for such a canal, and authority has been granted, the work to be carried out un der direction of Major Langfltt. At this time the board will venture no rough estimate of the cost of a con tluous canal, although, an estimate made by an old board placed the figure at $10,000,000, whereas the Harts pro ject was estimated to cost approxi mately $4,000,000. It Is by no means assuered that the new esimates will be as high as the former figure, as the board, before reporting, will have a comprehensive survey upon' which to base Its estimates, atid a fairly accu rate estimate of the cost of the im provements Is expected. The board has not reported to the Chief of Engineers, and probably will not do so until it has completed the estimate for a continuous canal. This delay means that no work will be done looking to the opening of the river during the present season. Should the War Department approve the board's report in favor of a continuous cr.nal, and this will unquestionably be done, since there has always been doubt as to the thorough practicability of the Harts plan, no work can be undertaken until Congress has authorized the new project. The last river and harbor bill authorized the work, provided It could be done within the estimate on the Harts project, but not otherwise. KANSAS LOSSES ESTIflATED. Over Two Hundred Towns Have Suffered From High Water. Kansas City, Mo., June 10. Kansas has suffered as a result of the recent floods more than any other state. No exact figures of the loss sustained can, cf course, be given, but the damage done in the principal cities and towns is estimated as follows: North Topeka, $500,000; Lawrence, $250,000; Salina, $200,000; Manhattan, $150,000; Junction City, $100,000; Solo mon, $50,000; Abilene, $250,000; Linds borg, $100,000; Hutchinson. $100,000; Minneapolis, $100,000; Emporia, $65, 000; Florence, $50,000; Lincoln, Center, $50,000; Atchison, $100,000; Argentine, $2,000,000; Kansas City, Kan., and suburbs, $8,00,000. Nearly 200 small er towns were affected by the flood. The lowest estimate that can be made of the loss to crops is $5,000,000. Pontoon Bridge Washed Away. Topeka, Kan., June 10. The pontoon bridge connecting North Topeka with the north approach of the big Melan bridge, which latter spans the river connecting both parts of the town, went out at 1 o'clock today. This severs all connection with the north side save by boat, and it Is not thought that it will be possible to repair the damage for several days. This will result In great hardships to the people now in North Topeka, as all the boats sent here from the outside have been taken away. Leva aives Way. St. Louis. Mo., June 10. Word has been received here at 1 o'clock that a levee near Madison, on which gangs of men were working, gave way, and 15 men. employes of the American Car & Foundry Works, lost their lives. About 150 men, It is reported, are im prisoned on a section of the levee, that is slowly crumbling, and all means of escape has been cut off. Word has been sent to the St. Louis side to rush the private yacht Annie Russell to the rescue. N4VY YARD OUTSTRIPPED. Private Concern Proves That It Can Build Warships Faster. Washington, June 9. Up to the prea rnt time the Newport News Shipbulld ing Company has shown itself more than able to cope with the Govern ment in the construction of warships, and if the showing continues to the end. Congress will be forced to con clude that, so far as time Is concerned at least, the Government can best have Its Navy built by private shipyards, rather than at Government Navy yards. Under the terms of the naval appro priation bill of a year ago, the Govern ment navy-yard at New York was au thorized to construct the battleship Connecticut, and a contract was award ed to the Newport News Company to build a sister ship, the Louisiana. The navy-yard and Bhlnhiitiriin menced operations at the same time, mo purpose oeing to determine wheth er the Government can get better re sults bV building Ita hfr, v... naving them built under contract. The new rone navy-yard has been handi caDDed It in t but aside from this the Newport News uuiynuy naa taiten and maintained the lead to such an extent as to call forth general comment. It Is true this company is undoubtedly making unus ual progress on the Connecticut, know ing it is in competition with the Gov ernment, but the experiment has also demonstrated that Government navy yards are as likely to suffer from strikes and labor agitations as are the shipyards of private corporations. One of the great complaints made against some of the shipyards that have had Government contracts has been that they were hampered by labor troubles, whereas, the Govern ment was not so affected. The experi ment at New York proves the fallacy of that assupmptlon. FILL ORAVB WITH WATER. Cremation Furnace Also Blown Up to' Prevenf Funerals. San Francisco, June 9. The boycott or the Cemetery Employes' . Union against Cypress Lawn Cemetery Cul minated today in two acts of vandalism that will result In Immediate action by the authorities of San Matoe county. The union men quit work today be cause the cemetery manager refused to reinstate three discharged em ployes. A burial was scheduled this morn ing, and Superintendent E. B. McPher son dug the grave hLmself. He then went to the railroad station to meet the funeral part. Upon returning to the burial plot It was found that the grave had been half filled with water, a garden hose having been used for the purpose. The water was bailed out, and It was then discovered that the handles. had been removed from the casket. The body was finally in terred, but others were, placed In the receiving vault. Later in the day a cremation was to have taken place, and when the fires were started in the furnaces an explos ion followed, blowing out the back part of the structure. Investigation re vealed that a large quantity of crude oil had been poured into the flues. The two workmen who started the fire narrowly escaped death. FIRES REACHINQ OUT. New England Forests Are a Great Mass of Flames. New York, June 8. The forest fires In the Adirondacks and New England are spreading at an larming rate and destroying millions in timber and hun dreds of thousands of dollars worth of summer cottages and camping resorts. Fires are reported in Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecti cut and Maine. Long Island, to the east of here, has been swept for miles. Over this city and all the region around the amoke from the forest flres is so dense that the sun is ob scured. The big ocean-going vessels felt their way in and out of the barbor or else remained at ancnor to avoid collisions. The situation Is' crrnvn. In onlto of the efforts of the hundreds of men the nres are spreading. The most serious are now in the vicinity of Long Lake, east towards Newcomb Lake and Mount Marcy. Farther south flres are raging along the Cedar river and at Indian Lake. Mining Town Burned. Bakersfleld, Cal., June 9. Fire com pletely destroped the greater part of the business portion of Randsburg to day. Fire started at noon In the Orphe urn Theater and spread rapidly to ad joining blocks. The loss is $100,000. Most of the building destroyed were of a flimsy character. The town of Randsburg is one of the principal min ing camps of Southern California. It is in the center of the richest district in Kern county and is in the extreme southeastern portion, just inside the line of San Bernardino county. Aid for Chinese Sufferers. Washington, June 9. The Christian Herald today transmitted to Assistant Secretary of State Loomis a check for $10,000 for the establishment of a re lief fund for the famine sufferers in the Chinese province of Kwang Si. Mr. Loomis deposited the money here and notified United States Consul-General McWade at Canton that he may draw for the amount of the check. Every report that comes to the State Depart ment contains pathetic stories of ex treme destitution. San Francisco Firm Falls. San Francisco. June 9. Eppinger & Co., of this city, one of the largest grain dealing firms In the United States, went to the wall today. The crash came suddenly and for a time threatened to completely upset the lo cal grain market. As it was, the an nouncement of the failure caused a big bobbing of prices on 'change and wrought up such excitement as has not been witnesseed on the floor for many years. Upholsterer "Are you In: a- hurry - for this sofa, miss?" She "Oh, I would, like it before 8 to-night' I Would-be Artist Did you get any thing for your last poem? Ditto Poet: Yea, I got many happy returns. Jill Why do so many little- men. marry big women? Jack They don't. The big women marry the little men. Her Father But can you support Ei telle? Enamored Youth Can I? Why I have held her on my lap two hours at a time. Young Tutter (to hostess) I have had a very pleasant evening. But .then . I always manage to enjoy myself no matter where I am. "He claims to have Invented a cam era that makes people prettier thani they are." "How's that?" "By simply making the lens flatter." A man never knows what little In fluence he has with his women folks until his daughter falls la love with a. man he can't approve of. Customer I want a ton of coal... Dealer Yes, sir. What size? Custom erWell, If It Isn't asking too much.. I'd like to have 2,000 pound ton. Teacher Now, Freddie, what Is a: volcano? Freddie (with great confi dence) Oh, I know that! It's a moun tain that Interrupts all the time! Clara Does Harry help you with the -house cleaning? Harriet Well, he bangs the pictures crooked and ' doea the grumbling. Detroit Free Press. "You say there's a man at the door wlshes to see me. Does he look like a gentleman?" "Well, not exactly like a gentleman, sir; Just something like yourself." "Who can tell me the meaning of leisure?" asked the teacher. "It's a. place where married people repent," ' replied the boy at the foot of the class. Philadelphia Record. "I can't say that I like Paynter's pic tures. Perhaps It's because I don't ap preciate them." "I don't know. It's, either because you don't appreciate -them or because you do!" He I hope you are better to-day. I. thought you were not looking well , when I was at your house yesterday. She I had rather a bad headache, but. It passed off soon after you left! "I understand Dashlelgh's uncle has . died, leaving him a fortune." "Ys, he has received a great many congrat ulations; why, even his tailor sent him a bunch of forget-me-nots yesterday." "Ah," he sifhed, "1 was happler when I was poor." "Well," they an swered, coldly, "it is always possible -for a man to become poor again." But somehow the Idea did not seem to im press him favorably. Mr. Gaswell "No, I didn't take a. lease of that ground for the uew build--Ing. The agents asked toe much money for It." Mrs. Gaswell "But didn't you tell me they offered to mark It Jown to ninety-nine years?" Chicago Tri bune. A mean fellow: A Georgia exchange has discovered the meanest man lu the Unlted States. It is said that he pump ed water on his head, let his hair freeze, and then broke it off, rather than pay a barber for cutting it. Atlanta Consti tution. "You can never run the mill with the water that Is past," we remarked,, trying meanwhile to look extremely wise. "No; but you can put up anoth er mill further down stream," retorted, the get rich quick man, with consider able Impatience. Grandma was showing two-year-old. Helen the picture of a young lady in evening dress. "Isn't she a pretty la dy?" said grandma. "Yes." replied the tot. "Pretty hair, dot a bracelet on her arm," then she paused, looked at. the picture seriously, and added, sol emnly, "an' she's all ready for bed, dranma!" Home Science Magazine. Bis Hopkins "Mis' Lummls, ma wanta t' know 'f you can let her have a cup o' sugar, two eggs, 'n' a few raisins, 'n' some flour. Oh, yes! 'n' a little butter." Mrs. Lummls "Well, I never! Sis Hopkins, you go home 'n' tell your mother I said if she'd wait till I had time f make It she could, come over n take the cake." Phila delphia Bulletin. Tell me what people read and I wlIL tM you what they are," said the self confessed philosopher. "Well, there's mj wife," rejoined the dyspeptic par ty. "She's forever reading cook books. Now, what la she?" "Why, a cook, of course," replied the 'philosophy dis penser. "That's where the spokes rat tle In your wheels," said the other.. "She only thinks she is." "Bessie," said the teacher to a small pupil, "can you tell me what memory Is?" After a moment's reflection the little one replied: "Memory Is the- thlng people use te forget things with." The Stranger "And so you are named George Washington, the same as our distinguished President?'! The Colored Porter "Yaaa, suh, but I has a dlfferunt blrfday, suh." "Thomas," said the boy's father,, "you told me yon had only one rule In grammar to learn this evening, and: that you could learn it In three min utes." "Yes. sir, and I did," said. Thomas, stoutly. 'Then what are you studying now, at the end of an hour?" asked his father. "I'm only half way through the exceptions," said Thomas. dolefully. Youth's Companion.